Ascent 9.11

2005, October 25: Brockton Bay, NH, USA

“I think this belongs to you,” Colin growled as he thrust a child in my general direction.

Well, not a child, a yordle. She didn’t have her glamor on anymore. Colin had been briefed on the “stranger” and I knew what she really was so there was no point. 

It was easy to forget sometimes, even for me, that Lulu was older than all of human civilization. Lulu possessed a timeless innocence that was hard to look past. “Gremlin energy,” I think I heard people call it.

For her part, Lulu stared up at me with deep, soulful eyes. Her lips were pursed into a juvenile pout and her arms were crossed over her chest. Her hat, ever so slightly skewed, waved hello as if it had a mind of its own. On her shoulder, Pix sat and mirrored his best friend.

“Well, in my defense, you can’t say I didn’t warn you,” I replied with a sheepish smile. Siccing Lulu on the Empire had seemed like a good idea at the time, as so many intrusive thoughts did. I’d since workshopped a plan to integrate Lulu into the cape scene with Kurt’s help.

“A hastily written letter and a bottle of liquor is not sufficient warning for… this,” he grunted sullenly, clearly wanting to say something else.

“Hey! I’m not that bad,” Lulu protested. “I did everything Andy told me to. He said he’ll give me a cookie for every five Nazis I catch, so I caught Nazis.”

I chuckled and took her from Colin before either of them did something regrettable. At less than three feet tall, she was even lighter than Riley. I walked over to the singular extra chair he had in his lab, placed for the guests he’d really rather not entertain.

Taking a seat, I bounced Lulu on my lap with the ease of a big brother. “Did you have fun in Brockton Bay, Lulu?”

“Hmm… Yeah! I didn’t know what a Nazi was, but I figured it out. Did you know Nazis are bald?”

“Those are called skinheads,” I said. Then, just in case, for clarity, “And not all bald people are Nazis.”

“I know. Bald people who sit still and do that quiet muttering stuff aren’t Nazis.”

That made me pause. “Lulu, did you…”

“She kidnapped a Buddhist monk from a temple,” Colin said with a pointed look.

“Oh… Huh… I didn’t know there were Buddhist temples in Brockton Bay.”

“There are a few. The religion is not focused on a singular messianic figure and most cultures in Asia have some history with it so it boasts a decent following even here.”

“That’s a good point. I guess I never thought of it much. What happened exactly?”

“She turned the head monk at a temple into a radish. He turned back at sunset and requested that Lulu turn him again. Apparently, once the initial surprise wore off, being unable to do anything but meditate was good for cleansing the mind.”

That got a bark of laughter out of me. “You know what? That sounds like something a Hirana monk would say. Then again, the two practices are fairly similar.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s nothing. So all’s well that ends well?”

The Protectorate leader let out a put upon sigh. “I suppose. Just… get her out of here. The Brockton Bay Protectorate is not a daycare.”

“I’m not a child!” Lulu whined. “I’m a yordle! And I did find Nazis, didn’t I?”

I raised an eyebrow in question. “How’d she do?”

“She was… adequate. She pulled a red, toy wagon filled with radishes into the Rig one day. Once we got the story from her, we put them in containment and waited for the… spell… to unravel,” he said grudgingly. Just having to use the s-word was stressing the poor guy out. “The unpowered members were relinquished to police custody.”

“Does that still count? I think it should still count,” Lulu chimed in. “I did catch them. It’s not my fault if the grumpy robot-man gave them away.”

“Yes, well, we have four Empire capes in custody: Brunhild, Alabaster, Krieg, and Pale Rider.”

I patted Lulu on the head, squishing her hat down around her ears. “Great job, Lulu. How’d you find them?”

“Well, I didn’t know what a Nazi was, so I decided to be Detective Lulu. And then, I realized I didn’t know what detectives were exactly. I mean, I didn’t even have a snazzy coat!” Lulu gasped, as though that was what was wrong with the sentence.

“Okay, that makes sense.” It did, in Lulu-logic. “So have you figured out what a detective does?”

“Yup! A nice, blue man took me to the station and gave me cookies. They weren’t as good as yours though.”

“Officer Rivera thought she was a lost child and sought to shelter her while looking for her guardians,” Colin filled me in. “The two engaged in a spiraling dialogue that only proceeded to confuse him further before Lulu finally remembered that she had disguised herself with her… glamor…”

“Yeah, that. But before that, there was a nice detective-lady who told me about her job. She had to go away because these meanies came and said I was a Case-53, whatever that is.”

“Is she, Andy? She is remarkably lucid for one.”

I shook my head. “She is not. She’s something else altogether.”

“Anyway,” Lulu continued. “I left.”

“You left.”

“Well, yeah. I can’t really do any detectiveing if I join the heroes, can I?”

“I suppose not.”

“We proceeded to keep tabs on her and her investigative efforts,” Colin added. “Please note that I use the word ‘investigate’ very loosely.”

I chuckled, imagining the Protectorate doing their best to track a yordle. At her best, Lulu could give even me a challenge. No doubt she ran circles around whatever unpowered resources the director decided he could afford. “And that led Lulu to the Buddhist temple?”

“Among other places. Eventually, she did manage to find an Empire rally, where she incapacitated a large number of unpowered personnel and four capes. She seemed uninterested in capes and most of their roster escaped her assault.”

“Duh. Andy said five Nazis are worth one cookie. He never said they had to have powers. Why would I go for them? If I let them leave, they’ll gather more Nazis to them, right? And then I’ll be able to harvest them again!” Lulu said brightly.

I almost lost it with laughter. The Fae Sorceress had discovered sustainable fishing. And, to her, that made perfect sense. The Empire roster wasn’t exactly a threat to someone who treated reality like taffy.

“I guess they are worth the same under our agreement,” I nodded. I patted her head and ran my thumbs along the inside of her feline ears, just how I knew she liked it. A pleased shiver ran down her body, not quite a purr, but close. “Well done, Lulu. How many cookies do I owe you?”

“Thirteen… I think…” She looked to Armsmaster. “How many Nazis did I catch? You gave them away so I forgot.”

“Four capes and over sixty unpowered members. So twelve,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was all here, as if he couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. “Kaiser will not remain idle.”

“Good! If you lose them, I can go catch them again. And that means more cookies!”

“Please don’t treat white supremacists like a renewable resource.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t lose them.”

He looked at me imploringly. “Please take her back. If our friendship means anything, take her back to whatever fairyland you picked her up from.”

“What’s the PRT’s stance on Lulu?” I asked. I knew, of course. The Terminus Project was defunct and I’d claimed Brockton Bay as my personal petri dish. “Director Cooper is aware of her, right? Has he raised this to the chief director?”

“Chief Director Costa-Brown has ordered that we treat Lulu as an independent hero. An official statement has gone out thanking her for her efforts.”

“And has she caused any significant collateral damage or harm to others?”

“She… has not,” he admitted grudgingly. Then, more quietly muttered, “discounting our slipping collective sanity…”

“Then yeah, it sounds like Lulu’s already integrated into the city’s cape scene. It’d be a little premature to move her, especially since she’s proven to be extremely effective against the Empire.”

“What is the end goal here? Why send such a volatile cape to Brockton Bay?”

“She isn’t volatile. You should know that by now. She’s almost always in good humor and doesn’t lash out in anger towards civilians.”

“That is… admittedly true… Her mental state is suspect.”

“She’s older than she appears.”

“I’ve gathered. But, again, why send Lulu here? What is the goal?”

“Chaos, Colin. Chaos is the goal,” I told him. At his frown, I explained. “I didn’t just send Lulu here to get on your nerves. Admittedly, pranking you was a bonus, but that wasn’t all.”

“You call this a prank?”

“Yes. Hasn’t Lulu been a net benefit to the city’s cape scene?”

“She… has…” he said, as if pulling teeth. “The most radical members of the Empire were picked up by her during the rally she crashed. Of the four capes she captured, Krieg played a significant role in managing the Empire’s logistics. Without him, Kaiser has been on the back foot. He will likely attempt to break them out, but thanks to your petricite restraints, that will be easier said than done.”

“Exactly. And if you work with her, Lulu can also ensure that Kaiser’s breakout attempt fails miserably.”

“She has disrupted my tinkering on numerous occasions. I am working on some projects of great importance, such as increasing the energy efficiency of Hero’s anti-endbringer arsenal. Please, at least keep her away from my lab.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot about that,” I muttered. That was a fair request. I pinched Lulu’s cheeks. “No barging into this lab, Lulu. In fact, if you need anything, go poke one of the other capes.”

“Aww… But he has cool stuff here,” she whined petulantly.

“He’s a very busy man. You can go bother the Wards instead.”

“The Wards? Are they the people who are about your age?”

“Yup.”

“Okie-dokie.”

Technically, as Protectorate Leader, he was in charge of the local Wards. In reality, he dumped the role to his second-in-command, just as he’d done in canon.

Colin stared at our exchange with a look of mounting pity for his subordinates. He said nothing to stop it however. He weighed his lab time with the peaceful lives of his nominal charges and came to a rapid decision.

The Wards would probably get along with Lulu, right? Right.

“But why Brockton Bay? If you wished to debut Lulu against a major gang, surely Phoenix could have provided a smoother transition,” he asked. “Or do you perhaps have a personal vendetta against the Empire?”

“Making a Nazi’s life miserable should be a divine law,” I replied simply. Given my newly established godhood, I’d make it so. “But yes, I did have Lulu target the Empire for a specific reason. I take it this lab is secure?”

“We are. If nothing else, Lulu’s continued presence in Brockton Bay has incentivized me to reconsider several security measures.” 

What he didn’t say of course, was that none of those “newly considered measures” had succeeded in keeping Lulu out for more than a few minutes. If anything, she probably saw it as a minigame next to her main quest of playing Nazi-Pokemon.

I nodded and tactfully didn’t mention it. “Good. Kaiser is Max Anders, CEO of Medhall. He’s been using the corporation to provide logistical and material support for the Empire, as well as mask their drug trafficking operations under the guise of a pharmaceutical subsidiary. If I remember right, that subsidiary had been led by one James Fliescher, Krieg.”

He looked surprised, though not by the revelation. I would have been disappointed with him had he had no suspicions at all after years in command of Brockton. “I guessed, though I could never prove it. I didn’t think you of all people would endanger the unwritten rules like this though.”

“Me? No, of course not. Let’s be honest. If we really wanted to, we could identify ninety-five percent of all villains within the next two weeks. Besides, I’m not breaking the unwritten rules. I won’t be unless I barge into his penthouse suite to break his legs.”

“So you sent Lulu to disrupt his operations. That doesn’t explain why you seem to have a personal vendetta against the man.”

“Simple, Colin. Before I was Hyunmu, I was Rubedo. I built my reputation as a biochemical tinker.”

He nodded in understanding. “And Medhall is a regional corporation worth billions, a primary distributor of your technology. They’ve benefited greatly from your recent incapacitation.”

“They have, and I am understandably annoyed by this fact,” I agreed. “There are plans in the works to prop up several distributors in the New England region while depriving Medhall of future contracts.”

“A two-pronged approach, then. Lulu depletes Kaiser’s resources and weakens the gang, drawing his attention while you work behind the scenes to diminish his corporation’s influence, with plans to ultimately replace Medhall as a distributor.”

“That, or remove Kaiser and install someone else before buying the company. I’m sorry you find Lulu’s brand of mayhem disagreeable, but I do have a plan here.”

“And it is a well-considered plan,” he conceded. “Your direct involvement would have caused a great deal of discord in the city.”

“That’s what people keep telling me,” I huffed. “I’m too powerful, too high-profile to just show up without a good reason now.”

“You could have given me a proper explanation instead of that letter.”

“In my defense…”

“Yes?”

“It seemed funny at the time.”

He let out a frustrated sigh. “Sometimes, I forget that you are still thirteen.”

“Almost fourteen now,” I said with a cheeky grin. “Hey, cheer up, Colin. Now that you know, you and Lulu can work together to take the Empire out,” I told him.

“Yes, I suppose there is that. We will have to coordinate with Lulu more closely moving forward. That will be handled by my second-in-command. Was there another reason for your visit?”

“Actually, yes.” I tossed him a USB drive. “That contains a blueprint I would like you to look over when you get the chance. I think it will be of some interest to you.”

Curious, he placed the drive into his computer. Soon, a hologram of my most recent project appeared on the screen. Is that a teddy bear?”

“Yes. The idea came to me while I was working on a gift for Riley. She'll be transferring into a private school soon and I wanted to make something that can protect her subtly.”

“Ah, the last Slaughterhouse survivor. How… How is she?”

“She’s great,” Lulu chimed in from my lap. “Riley and I have sleepovers sometimes. Oh, and she tells me about different ways I can grow my toadstools.”

“I see…”

“She’s as happy as a six year old can be. She still gets nightmares sometimes, but she doesn’t consciously remember much about that day,” I told him. Fortuna had Slug blunt the impact of that day, after all. Maybe it was of dubious morality, but the Slug did good work.

“Perhaps that is for the best. I heard she was the one who made the universal syringes that debuted in Adelaide.”

“She was. She’s a biotinker in her own right.”

“Then I can think of no one better to mentor her than you and Hero.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Colin. Anyway, mom decided that she should interact with more children around her age.”

“Does the school staff know who she is?”

“They do. She’ll still be taking her science courses with me and Eugene so she’s on a half schedule. It’s why we had to pick a private school.”

“They do tend to allow for more flexibility,” he agreed. “I suppose the cost of tuition is not an issue for you. I can see why you would be concerned with her security in that case.”

“Yup. Hence, Hextech: Tibbers. It’s a teddy bear that can turn into a ten feet tall, autonomous robot. In its miniaturized form, it stores its mass in a dimensional pocket so Riley won’t have any trouble carrying it around. I figured you’d be interested in the way it works given your specialization.”

“Interesting. I will not be able to copy it completely. All of your tinkertech uses that unique energy you insist on calling mana.”

“Yup. I generate it personally and the hex core inside Tibbers stores mana. That said, energy is energy; I convert mana into electricity all the time. You might not be able to generate mana, but the systems that use it should still be somewhat comprehensible.”

“They are. The project to upgrade Hero’s Stilling will have to take priority, but I appreciate the gift. Or perhaps, this can be used to assist Hero… I will have to think on it.”

I stood, happy my job was done. I tucked Lulu under my arm and headed for the door. “Lovely. I’ll see you around then.”

“Farewell, Andy.” 

X

I watched as the batter for the Houston Starships struck out for the final time. He was a freckle-faced boy about my age, with green eyes that welled with tears. Shoulders slumped, he trudged back to the dugout as the opposing team shouted with glee.

That was the last of a small tournament held by the local little league to help finance the following season and keep the kids invested in the game. The next regular season would begin in mid-March and end in early June. Still, judging by the shit that kid got for being the last to strike out, even this non-standard tournament was clearly important to them.

The game had been close. I barely knew the rules of baseball, but as I understood it, the batting team could continue hitting the ball until three people struck out. With only a two point lead, the Starships could have caught up. To make things worse for the kid, the batter after him was apparently the best on the team, the one who might have saved the game.

I munched on my hotdog, the Starship Spectacular. The team had voted on their three favorite ingredients and had collectively marketed it as an additional fundraising gimmick. Of course, being kids, it included chili, bacon bits, and pepperoni.

The greasy mess sat heavy in my stomach and I could practically hear my arteries begging for mercy. It was positively delicious.

The whole family had come out, but Riley had quickly grown bored with the slow-paced game. It wasn’t like we knew anyone on the team, anyway. Last I saw, Riley dragged mom to the handball courts. That was fine, so long as my sis stayed somewhere in the park.

Next to me, Fortuna nibbled at a far more reasonable hotdog, just mustard and pickles, and occasionally took sips from a thermos. This whole outing had been her idea.

“So, what do you think?” she asked, gesturing to the Starships’ dugout.

“The ‘best player on the team’ needs a reality check,” I said glibly. “He’s a small fish in an even smaller pond. Giving his buddy shit for striking out is rather shortsighted of him.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“No, I guess not.” We watched as David defused the budding argument. I didn’t hear what he said, but the boys seemed to have worked something out. “David’s really invested in the team, huh?”

“He is. He’s also taken up woodworking as a hobby and sells some of his better pieces at a local flea market once a month. It was something his grandfather used to do.”

“That’s funny. I bet no one would guess the great Eidolon made their kitchen cabinet.”

“Or coaches a little league team.”

“We owe his therapist a lot. What was her name again?”

“Dr. Rachel O’Leary,” Fortuna reminded me. “She is being compensated very well.”

“That’s nice to hear. So? What’s this about?”

“High Priest. You’re the last one,” she said.

She didn’t have to say anything else. I understood. Way back when I was a Ward in DC, I gave Fortuna a great deal of information about Eden and Shards as a whole. One such information was the method by which Eidolon could patch his declining power.

So far, we’d done nothing with that intel. We considered it too risky to tell him. At the time, David had been too driven, too hyper-fixated on the idea of being a hero.

No, not a hero, a savior.

For the longest time, he’d believed, not entirely without reason, that he was humanity’s only hope against Scion. He believed that in the end, it would be his responsibility to make that difference, to save the multiverse.

Looking at him now, I could hardly see the man he used to be. I saw David Stabler, a man who had grown out from Eidolon’s shadow. He was happier. He had causes he’d invested in. His sense of identity and self-worth wasn’t reliant on being a messianic figure.

“Really? I’m the last one?” I asked curiously. There was an unspoken rule between myself, Rebecca, and Fortuna. “Even Rebecca?”

“Even Rebecca. David has matured, Yusung. He is not who you once read about.”

“No, I suppose not. I’m just surprised Rebecca agreed. She’s usually more risk-averse than this.”

“Maybe she wants to take a chance. Maybe she’d like to believe in her friend.”

I studied him quietly as he patted the boys on the back. They filed out, probably to go get pizza or something. “He’s a new man.”

“He is.”

“Do it. Tell him.”

Author’s Note

Colin is stressed. Riley is enrolled in an expensive private school. I feel like there’s a joke in there somewhere.

Hextech: Tibbers comes from the Hextech Annie skin. Is it wise to give Riley a pyrokinetic, metal familiar? Probably not, but the alternative was to have her monitored 24/7 or allow her to make biological modifications on herself. 

Animal Fact: Many sharks are cannibals. Quite a few of them are cannibals before birth. This happens so often that scientists have a name for it: intrauterine cannibalism.

Shark females aren’t picky about sex. Many males can fertilize the eggs inside a shark’s uterus each season. So, to ensure that only the best survives, the biggest embryo will hatch inside the mother’s womb and eat most of its siblings.

The funny part about this is that in 1982, when Stewart Springer was dissecting a sand tiger shark, he stuck his hand inside the oviduct of a female and was bitten by the remaining embryo. It is the only time on record a human has managed to get bitten by something that was never born.

Oh, yeah, some sharks give birth to live young. I guess that’s a prerequisite fact to this one.

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