Chapter 8

The light bulbs flickered, signaling the need for replacement. A lone man sat on one side of a large metal table, busying himself with various documents and maps. Facing him, seated a ten-year-old girl who imitated her father’s motions, but with a journal instead. The man tapped his foot, creating a rhythmic beat that matched with the ticking of the clock. The girl swung her legs, barely able to reach the tile floor below. A single window separated the warm air that blanketed the inside against the bitter cold that seized the outside.

“Hey, Daddy?” Anya spoke while still staring at the journal. “What kind of person was Mommy?”

“She was a great person.” Ethan continued his scribblings.

“Everyone always tells me that. I mean, what was she really like?”

The man ceased his writing and placed his pen on the table.

“Well, that’s a difficult question to answer.”

Anya seemed perplexed, wondering what her father could mean. Before she could let loose another inquiry, the man spoke.

“She was… eccentric in a way.”

“Eck-cent-rick?” The girl laid her index finger on her chin, trying to figure out what the word meant.

“Anna was a bit weird.”

“Mommy was a weird person? Does that mean I’m weird, too?” The girl couldn’t help but speculate on the origin of her outcast nature.

“Well, your mother was always lost in her own little world. She loved to travel and adventure, always excited at the smallest new things. It’s kind of wonderful, actually.” The man locked his fingers together on the table as he spoke as if coping with discomfort. “She was also very blunt, constantly speaking her mind. She wasn’t afraid of calling people out. Back in the day, that caused a lot of issues with our superiors. One time, she was denied rations for a week. I had to sneak some of my cooking to her.”

“Is that how she fell in love with you, Daddy?” The girl’s eyes glimmered with excitement.

“Well…” The man stroked his chin, “I hope it was more than just that.” Ethan began to ponder, compared to the girl’s mother, he was just an average grunt. He tried to catalog his charms in his head but failed to compose a legitimate list. His shoulders drooped as he mumbled with a frown.

“That may actually be the case...”

The girl tilted her head, wondering why her father seemed disheartened.

“I would marry for good food!” The girl shouted with pride as she puffed her chest.

“Don’t say that…” Ethan disapproved of his daughter’s standards.

“...”

“Was Mommy a nice person?”

“She was a caring person, though she had a rather... aggressive way of showing it.”

“Aggressive?” The little girl wondered.

The man shriveled a bit.

“Your mother… picked up some interesting habits from the orphanage.”

Seeing as her father proceeded with his work, she began to flip through the journal.

After a short while, she asked her father another question.

“Daddy? What does ‘flaccid’ mean?”

“What? Where did you see that?”

The girl lifted the journal and pointed at a passage.

Upon reading it, the man’s face blushed and without a moment to spare, he scratched out the passage with his pen.

“You don’t need to know this!”

***

“It hurts… It hurts so much…”

“I know it hurts, missy. It's gon’ be okay! We almost there! Just hang on for a bit!”  Boone’s voice was audibly shaken. With a rucksack strapped to his chest and a girl riding on his back, his legs threatened to cave under the stress. Boone’s strength was fading by the minute. He had neglected his own malnutrition to ensure the girl had enough strength to fight her illness, and yet Anya’s condition only deteriorated with each passing rotation. With every slumber, her pain grew more prominent and her body became weaker. The girl’s head burned, practically radiating heat onto his back.

“A…Are we th...ere… ye…t…” With what little speech Anya could manage, she muttered quietly, for if she attempted to be any louder it would feel as if her jaw snapped and her throat busted.

“In just a little bit, missy! Hang in there!” Boone moved as fast as his body allowed, traveling nonstop since the girl awoke hours earlier. His strides lost consistency as his breath quickened. His legs demanded rest, but Boone refused as it was not up for negotiation. The man feared the worst if Anya could not see a doctor soon, thus he begged the Ancients to give him strength.

As if being the victim of a cruel joke, an unperceived rock undermined Boone’s balance. The man fell, flinging the girl onto the ground before him. The accumulated frustration could no longer be contained, Boone shouted at the heavens and cursed the Ancients.

“YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! DO YOU?! YOU SICK SACKS-O-SHIT!!”

“Uuhhhggggg…” Upon hearing Anya’s groan, Boone immediately rushed to the girl lying on the floor.

The fall had caused Anya excruciating pain, however, screaming would just cause more. All the girl could do was whimper while teardrops slid down the side of her face.

“I’m sorry, missy! I know it hurts but we gon’ be there soon. Just hold on…”

“K-…” Anya mouthed as her face contorted in agony.

“What is it, missy? If you need anythang just tell me.”

“ill…”

“Ill? Ill what? Come on, missy, tell me what you need.”

“K…ill … me… please…”

Boone’s face turned pale.

“Wh-What you sayin’, missy? We almost there. Come on, don’t ya wanna see them city l-lights?” His brittle voice hindered his dialogue as moisture condensed in his eyes.

“Hurts… soo… much…”

“Come on, missy, it gon’ stop soon! I promise!”

“Daddy… waiting…”

“W-What you sayin’, a-ain’t you gonna be my assistant? Ain’t we g-gonna open a stand together?”

“I… miss… them…” Anya lifted her chin slightly and gave one final plea.

“Please… hurts…”

Boone froze as he didn’t know what to do. The girl’s misery broke his heart and his remaining sanity drained with each passing second. Slowly and with hesitation, his shaking hands approached Anya’s neck. The coarse pair of hands pressed against her soft skin as he gently tightened his grip. The man turned his head. He could not bear to witness this scene.

“Thank… you…” With the last of her strength, the little girl gave her gratitude.

“…”

Boone loosened his grip as he could not go through with it.

“W…Why…”

“I didn’t save no life just to watch it end.” Boone rummaged through his rucksack, desperately searching. “Like you said, missy, I ain’t losing nobody else.”

The man extracted a small vial filled with clear liquid from his baggage. A white tape with the words ‘Morphine Sulfate Inj. – 25mg/mL – 20mL’ labeled the small glass container. That was all Boone could make out under the current lighting. In truth, he did not want to resort to using the potent medicine, for he did not know exactly what it was nor its side effects, only that it relieved pain. However, there were no other options.

Boone mixed half of the liquid with his flask of water to dilute the taste.

“Drink this, this medicine gon' take the pain away.” A small gap faintly opened between the girl’s lips. The man lifted her head using his biceps as a pillow. Gradually, he poured the medicine into Anya’s mouth, ensuring there were no spillages despite her coughs.

Shortly after, the girl’s groans and moans stopped while her breathing slowed. Boone gave a sigh of relief as the girl seemingly calmed down. He packed his supplies and placed Anya on his back before continuing his departure to their destination.

“You feelin’ better, missy?” Boone wanted to make sure that the medicine was effective.

“Pain… gone… dizzy…” The girl’s voice was still weak, but Boone felt respite knowing that she was no longer in pain.

“Don’t worry, we gon’ be there soon. If you feel anythang strange, tell me alright?”

“Everything… dark… sleepy…”

“Rest a little, you’ll feel much better after you wake up.”

And with that, Anya’s consciousness drifted away.

***

A lone girl laid with her eyes closed and arms spread out wide within the ruins of a once seemingly cozy home. Though the nearby fireplace emitted a dim but comforting light, it also highlighted the devastated furniture that cluttered the tile floor. In spite of her surroundings, the secluded girl displayed not an expression of dejection but an appearance of tranquility as if taking her daily nap.

Tick… … … Tick… … … Tick… … … Tick…

“So, this is it.” A voice resonated from beside her, “This is what you want?”

Anya gave a quick glance, it was the woman that she had falsely named Mother. The girl faced upward before closed her eyes.

“I’m fine with this…” Anya responded.

“You know, you’re going to die if this continues.” The woman squatted beside Anya and her finger repeatedly traced circles onto the ground. “In fact, you nearly died already.”

“I don’t care anymore…” The girl smiled peaceably. “This feeling, it’s really nice…”

“What about your promise to the old man?”

“Boone? He’s not that old…” Anya paused to take a deep breath, “I’ll tell him I’m sorry later…”

“Is this really what you want?”

“I want… to be with Daddy again…”

“Pfffff.” The woman covered her mouth.

“Pffffftt--AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!” The woman fell onto her back and laughed hysterically.

“What’s so… funny…?”

“You think--AHAHHAH--you can meet you father by dying?! That’s the reason you’re fine with death?! HAHAHAA--that’s precious!”

Anya became agitated. Her words were sincere, thus she was offended by the woman’s reaction.

The woman’s laughs slowly subsided.

“Oh, my sweet little Anya, your father is dead. That means you won’t ever be able to see him again.”

Anya, in rage, sat up and glared at the woman. She screamed at the top of her lungs.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!! DADDY WILL BE WAITING FOR ME!!!”

BONG… … … BONG… … … BONG… … … BONG...

The walls collapsed all around them, leaving only a pile of wrecked bricks. The fire that radiated warmth now leaked the scent of death.

“Foolish little girl.” The woman appeared next to Anya’s legs, trembling with anger. “I think you need to be freed from your own stupidity.”

STOMP-CRACK

“AAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGG!” Anya screeched in pain as the bones in her left leg snapped in two. The girl held onto her dangling appendage, rolling and squirming.

STOMP-CRACK

“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” The woman’s foot landed on Anya’s right heel, popping it as if she had just crushed a fruit.

“Oh, what’s this, you’re not bawling your eyes out? What gives?”

Anya gripped tightly onto the woman’s legs.

“You… take that back… Daddy’s waiting… for me…” Drops of tears fell down Anya’s cheeks as she spoke. “Daddy… wouldn’t lie to me…”

“Like he didn’t lie to the town? To his own step-brother? There’s a limit to how naïve you can be.” The woman thrusted her foot at Anya’s stomach, forcing the girl to curl up into fetal position. She then stepped on Anya’s head, rapidly increasing the weight.

“IT HURTS, IT HURTS, IT HUR--”

Cough-Cough

Anya’s yells of agony were interrupted by coughs of blood.

“Please…stop…” The girl begged amid her chokes.

“HAH?!” The woman began to repeatedly stomp on Anya’s head. “Aren’t you ashamed to always be at the mercy of others? If you want it to stop, then do something about it. Or…” The woman leaned closer to Anya, “Are you just going to sit there and wait for death’s arrival like your pathetic father?”

The girl gritted her teeth, “TAKE THAT BACK!” Anya grabbed the woman’s ankle and rolled her body, throwing the woman off balance. This knocked the woman back first onto the ground, signaled by a hard thump. Seeing an opportunity, Anya climbed on top of the woman and held the woman’s wrists against the ground.

“You take that back! Daddy worked hard trying to make everyone happy! He had good intentions! He did all those things because he just wanted… me to be happy…” Bit by bit, the girl’s fury morphed into sadness.

“And are you happy, my dear Anya?”

Anya began to cry. Even though Anya’s grip weakened, the woman did not try to resist. Instead, the woman’s voice became loving and caring.

“The world does not care for our intentions, only our actions. What your father did was of his own volition. You shouldn’t bear any of the blame.”

“But… because I said… those things…”

“He was too blinded by his own desires to see that you were content with just being by his side. That’s why he committed his crimes. That’s why it’s ridiculous to die for a reason like that.”

“Then what do I--” Pain returned to Anya, her headache being the worst. “It hurts…”

“I know it hurts, Anya.” The woman gently stroked her fingers through Anya’s silky black hair.

“Don’t… mock me…” Anya held tightly onto her head, hoping that it would ease the pain.

The woman raised her hand, revealing the numerous cracks that covered her skin.

“Believe me when I say it hurts you as much as it hurts me.”

“Then… why did--”

“I inflict those wounds onto you? You’re mistaken, my dear child, these wounds aren’t inflicted. We are born with them. I just needed you to understand.”

The pain intensified to a nearly unbearable extent.

“AHHHHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!” The unceasing torment chipped away at Anya’s remaining rationality.

The woman pulled Anya’s head into her bosom.

Ta-thump… Ta-thump… Ta-thump…

“You can make it stop, my dear Anya.”

***

She awoke, drenched in sweat. She did not know where she was nor what occurred around her. However, she did not care. The only thing that concerned her was the immense pain that plagued every part of her body.

“MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!” She screamed, pleading, begging for a remedy to appear. Like every prayer made in this cold and cruel world, it was ignored.

“mlaC nwod, I tog erom enicidem.” The man that carried the girl laid her on the floor. She could hear his voice but did not understand his words. He rifled through his bag, desperately searching for something.

To her, the pain was unbearable, especially the migraines, which felt as if a hammer mercilessly and continuously struck the inside of her head.

“IT HURTS! IT HURTS! MAKE IT STOP!” She continued screaming in agony.

“t’noD yrrow, yssim. I dnuof ti, esaelp tsuj mlac nwod!” The man held a small vial containing an unknown liquid.

She still could not understand the man, which frustrated her. She tackled the man down onto the ground, fracturing his lantern. It flickered and zapped, but refused to die.

“ehT lleh era uoy iod-” She smashed his mouth with her fist, shattering his teeth before he could continue his ramblings further.

“UURRRRAAAAAAA!!” The man’s loud screams stunned her ears, forcing her to cover them, further adding to her irritation.

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

The man grabbed her arm with his calloused hands and tugged. His pulls were weak, but the sensation of pain marked his handprint on her arm.

“panS tuo fo ti!"

“IT HURTS! MAKE IT STOP!”

SMASH-CRACK

The man’s grip loosened as his shoulder blades were destroyed.

As if by instinct, the girl’s hands wrapped themselves around the man’s neck. In response, the man pulled a knife with his other hand and held it to her neck.

“esaealP aynA, pots, t’nod ekam em od siht.”

She tightened her grip while her shouts echoed throughout the ruins.

“MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!”

The man’s face steadily turned blue as his eyes shifted red. His eyes widened as his blood vessels threatened to burst.

“ayn…A...”

He lowered the hand which held the blade, dropping it onto the ground.

CRACK

The man fell limp, unmoving and unfeeling. As if mimicking the man’s life, the lantern flickered slightly before fading to black. She laid her ear on top of the corpse’s chest.

Ta-thump… Ta-thump… Ta-thump…

The familiar rhythm relaxed her breathing as her panting stabilized.

Ta-thump… Ta-thump…

The aching in her body began to subside, steadily fading away.

Ta-thump…

…

With the pain in her body eased, her rampaging hunger prevailed over all else.

Unable to help herself, she sank her teeth into the man’s neck, gnawing a chunk of flesh.

***

She sat at a familiar table and in front of her was a plate of morsels. With a blank expression, she grasped the meat with her hands and shoved it into her mouth.

As she slowly chewed, the rich flavor expunged onto her tongue. Juices gushed out of the meat with every bite. The mixture of saltiness coupled with slight hints of sweetness combined into a pleasantry she could not describe. After swallowing, she bit off one piece after another. The pain dulled as she became more satisfied with each additional gulp.