~Lillia's POV~

My name is Lillia. No family name, no middle name. Only Lillia.

From the outside, I look like a full blooded demon.

However....

I am a half-demon. No one other than me and my parents know of this.

My father's a demon, and my mother's an elf. My mother sadly died when I was born.

Since demons get mistreated a lot by other races, I also get shunned and bullied by others around me.

My father was mistreated as well. Nevertheless, he was strong.

He never minded any insults towards him and me. He knew that causing trouble would bring us more trouble, as we had a poor life.

One night, as we were hunting near the mountain region. Something happened.

Going back to a few months ago....

We left the town named Rizo, and headed towards the mountains.

What made us do this was the fact that some evil people scammed us and left us in debt. Because of that, we had to take loans from shady people. And that lead us to an even larger debt.

My dad, worked as an adventurer. He saw a quest for a rare herb. Apparently, this herb was worth more than we could imagine.

This single herb, could clear us from our debt ten times.

As the town was too dangerous for me to be left alone with, not to mention the hungry loan-sharks that are after us, my father decided to set forth on this quest with me.

We spent months in the dense forest.

As we grew accustomed to the forest, we never went back to the town.

Living in the forest for so long made us think of it as a new home. And so, for the next few years, we lived in the forest.

As time went on, he taught me many things concerning the ways of surviving the forest.

The most important lesson, was the way of fighting monsters.

Even though I was a very young child, he taught me seriously.

He never once treated me half-heartedly when he trained me.

He was the best father I've ever had.

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Giant silver wolves, beasts that live on the mountains.

I remembered my father talking about the different beasts and monsters roaming in the forest.

My father always had a smile when talking about them, he always talked about how he could beat them all.

This beast wasn't one of them.

In truth, my father was a big liar. I always knew about this, but somehow, I believed them anyway.

Sure he was strong, but he wasn't as strong as he told me he was.

However, his strength lied in his mentality. Or that's what I would like to believe.

It all started when we heard of a howl.

My dad kept calm, but his eyes screamed of wariness.

Then, it all went downhill.

He died. Yes.... he died. My most precious person died.

A huge monster killed him.

It was the giant silver wolf.

My dad was killed in an instant.

The beast ambushed us from behind, and instantly devoured my dad.

I screamed a lot until my throat started hurting.

When did it happen?

And why didn't it kill me too?

I didn't know why, but it left me alone.

I was left speechless after it left. My face was fully covered with tears. I also froze in thought.

Since I was still a mere child, it possibly thought of me as only skin and bones.

My father was muscular and big, so he might've looked like an appetizer.

After this whole traumatising night became day, I started moving without thinking of anything.

I was so broken that my thoughts were shut down. I only moved instinctively.

I ate, slept, hunted, and travelled.

I ate, slept, hunted, and travelled.

I ate, slept, hunted, and travelled.

While mindlessly travelling throughtout the wilderness. I then snapped out of it.

I realised that I had crossed the mountain range while being absent-minded.

Unfortunately, as if a switch had turned on again, I went back into the state of mindlessness.

During these periods of my thoughts being dulled, I could only remember things half the time.

It was as if I had entered a fever dream. A fever dream where I repeatedly did an unending cycle of survival.

The second time I snapped back into reality was when I found an elf village.

While approaching the gates of the village, the guards shot warning arrows towards me.

I became confused, but then I remembered that I was a demon. It was obvious that they hated our kin.

So, I ran away and in the end, I entered back into the cursed state of mind I was in.

But surprisingly, the next day, while in my absent-minded state, I instinctively followed a group of people.

They were heading towards the elf village, and when they got close, the elf guards stationed above the tall gates shot warning arrows towards them.

As I snapped back into reality, I came to the conclusion that the elves were being unfriendly to all outsiders.

____________________________________________

Weeks have passed since I snapped back into reality for the third time. During this time period, I became accustomed to this state of mind.

It seems that the biggest effect of me being in this state is that my emotions were blocked.

I couldn't feel happiness, sadness, anger, and any other things related to emotions.

After some months went by, I learned how to master this state. It became a unique technique of mine.

I was able to control the intensity of my dulled mind.

A normal 12-year-old girl wouldn't have this kind of technique in them, but I'm a living disapproval of that.

Speaking of normalcy, I sometimes saw the group of people the encountered the elf village. It seems that they became petty bandits, robbing people of their belongings.

Their favourite target seemed to be the elves from the elf village.

When I first saw them, they looked like a pretty naive group of people. But I guess they've changed their ways.

____________________________________________

Resting in the forest ground was too dangerous for a single person. So I had slept on the trees, the higher they're, the better.

Fortunately, while fending off some strong monsters, I came across a hidden place that I now call home.

When I first discovered this peaceful and beautiful place, my tears went off.

The dam that was blocking the pent off emotions, broke.

I remembered my father's death and all the horrible things that I've experienced, and just cried.

After crying for a few hours, I realised that the curse that bound me was all gone.

I could feel my emotions again.

There were bad after-effects caused by that cursed state of mind though.

When I made the somewhat mansion-like cabin into my new home, I came across a mirror.

And when I cleared off the dust covering the mirror, my face looked doll-like.

Doll-like as in, I couldn't express my emotions.

No matter how much I tried to smile, I only saw my miuth muscles moving and twitching weirdly.

And as years went by, a lot of things happened.

The mansion-like cabin I was staying in, apparently belonged to some lord I don't know the identity of.

Reading through the journals that were left behind made me acquire a new goal.

And that is to make a place where no one would be discriminated, and no one would experience a similar past to my own.

~To be continued....