Hae Gi squatted on the ground looking a bit dazed. She stared at her dirty hands, looking particularly at a long white strand.
It was her hair.
Gone was her once jet black hair, as it became riddled with white as years passed.
It reminded her that this was real, she was getting old.
All alone, she was left behind. This courtyard reminded her of the time she spent with that little boy who made the whole courtyard warm and bright. That little boy who was separated from her because of her own inadequacy.
Years had passed and she did not fail to look at the door every single day. She held on to that false hope, that maybe he'll come back.
But he didn't.
Ever since she'd gone out to seek for the old man, she was imprisoned within these empty walls. She couldn't do anything. It was the Emperor's orders.
She knew something changed but she was always left in the dark, trapped in this hollow cage. She felt a whirlwind of emotions. Inside her heart, she can't help this feeling of remorse and desolation. She was worried for a child that was not her own, hurting from a man that she did not really know, and confused about what she should do.
She knew that she was normally stronger than this. She was once a doctor for Christ's sake. She was equipped with these learned abilities and skills, yet she couldn't make use of it all.
Hae Gi once again stared at the silvery strand of hair. Time flies so fast.
She wondered when this will end. This whole parade of masks that she wore with the people around her. She once again remembered that little boy that always looked at her with bright twinkling eyes. Holding her hand, worrying for her, laughing with her.
She knew that to the people around her, she was Hae Gi in their eyes. So she tried to act like Hae Gi. But she couldn't act at all when facing that child. She couldn't will herself to lie in front of him.
She usually hates children - their constant crying, their constant tantrums - her patience just couldn't keep up with them. Yet with Minjoon, she was more tolerant and endearing. He invoked a new side of her that she did not know.
She was plainly herself when she was with that child.
She felt that Minjoon was her first friend in this world. Her one and only solace.
So when they separated, she felt discarded. Riddled with negativity that changed her physically and mentally. She wondered if he already ate, if he already slept early, if he already took his afternoon nap. These unending questions further deepened the feelings and emotions that she felt. And she wondered if this was really hers.
The doors suddenly opened with a bang.
A woman clad in red dress lined with gold sashayed forward, her crown glittering as she walked. Servants burst in behind her, filling the empty courtyard.
It was the Imperial consort, Min Hi.
Her face had this haughty look as she smirked looking down on Hae Gi. Though she hid it well with her fan, her foxy eyes peeking through the fabric.
"Good morning, Your Highness."
The consort spoke with her sultry voice. Even the servants could hear the sarcasm in her voice.
"How was your day today? Eventful?"
Min Hi leaned forward as her eyes mocked the woman squatting on the ground.
The consort leaned back, standing straight. She walked along the garden, her eyes going left and right as she scanned the place. She stopped in front of a pot full of flowers.
She gestured a servant to pluck it while she extended her hand upwards, admiring her smooth and white skin.
"Someone get this flower for me. My sacred hands cannot be sullied with things that do not come from my husband, the Emperor."
She slowly stretched her hand intending for Hae Gi to see all the rings and bracelets adorning her fingers and wrist.
All the jades, golds, and silvers decorated her hand. The servants could only stare at the consort, envy creeping up their bones.
"My body is only for the Emperor after all. Solely for him."
She retracted her hand, glancing at Hae Gi from her side.
Giggling, she turned and walked back towards Hae Gi. A servant followed behind, holding the flowers in her hand.
The pot was now empty.
Hae Gi stared blankly at the pot. The flowers were given to her by the child haunting her mind. She could still remember him going back home carrying a bundle of wildflowers.
Minjoon came back earlier on a sunny day. Opening the door of his home, he ran towards his mother's back gripping something tightly on his hand.
"Mama! Mama!"
Minjoon shouted with glee as he waved his hand back and forth.
Hae Gi turned around startled by the child. Her brows crinkled as she saw the dirt all over Minjoon's body.
Minjoon, overcome with his emotions, did not notice the expression his mother was showing. He presented the flowers on his hand as he beamed, his smile reaching his eyes.
"Minjoon has a gift for you!"
Hae Gi saw the wildflowers on Minjoon's hands. They were a bit dirty, traces of soil hanging off the roots.
"Minjoon saw that this was pretty and thought of Mama! So Minjoon got this for Mama."
Hae Gi received the wildflowers with her hands, her chest becoming stuffy as she looked at Minjoon.
Yet Minjoon suddenly recalled something, he grinned as he looked at Hae Gi.
"Mama I'm home!"
Tears trickled down Hae Gi's cheeks. Kneeling down, she hugged Minjoon tightly in her arms. With a huge smile on her face, she said.
"Welcome home."
Years had passed and some of the flowers withered. But Hae Gi did her best to revive and keep them alive. The wildflowers bloomed and multiplied, filling the huge pot.
Yet all of it was gone with just one careless pull.
Hae Gi glared at the woman in front of her. This presumptuous woman dared to barge in her courtyard acting like this was her place.
She glanced at her right, spotting a green striped object wriggling on the leaf.
The consort's eyes stayed glued to Hae Gi's sorry figure.
"Unlike someone."
She laughed as she exclaimed.
Then suddenly Hae Gi smiled. She stood up slowly, walking towards the consort.
"The consort is indeed the most benevolent of all."
She stopped in front of the consort, her figure towering over Min Hi.
Hae Gi sighed, as her eyes regretfully glanced on the ground.
"Unfortunately, this Empress is insignificant compared to the consort and could only give this humble but wonderful piece of gift that came from the Emperor."
Hae Gi extended her closed hands seeming to want to give something to the consort.
The imperial consort, Min Hi smiled triumphantly as she extended her hand.
"Since this came from the Emperor, then I will- Ah!"
Min Hi screamed as she stared horrified at the wriggling green worm on her palm.
She became hysterical as she tried to get the thing off her hand. The fan that she once held was thrown accidentally at Hae Gi, hitting Hae Gi's forehead.
The once grand consort was now in disarray, her hair wild as she was finally able to get rid of the insect. She seethingly glared at Hae Gi with bloodshot eyes.
"You-!"
Hae Gi resolutely glowers at Min Hi, her gaze domineering.
"Everything in this garden was provided by the Emperor. Even the grass, the trees, and the soil. He gave life to the people by providing their basic necessities."
Even with the large bruise on her head, Hae Gi still continued.
"This is the same with animals, the insects around the garden. Yet here you are rejecting what was given by the Emperor."
Hae Gi raised her eyebrow as she frowned at the consort.
"I thought your body was solely for the Emperor, your hands can only touch something given by the Emperor."
Hae Gi smiled, her gaze mocking.
"Yet such hypocrisy is being displayed in front of my eyes. I, the Empress, will remember this moment by heart."
The consort stared horrified at the woman in front of her. Looking around, she saw her maids looking at her with distraught faces. Composing herself, she turned to leave.
"No need to keep this by heart. I was just passing by, no need to give me a gift."
Min Hi hurriedly said, emphasizing on the present given to her- that wriggling thing on the ground. She faced the door, signaling her maids that she was ready to leave.
Slowly, one by one moved until all of them had left.
Hae Gi's eyes looked intently at the door, tired. Looking back again at the caterpillar on the ground, she shuddered.
She hated insects, anything that was wriggling and long and wrinkly she strongly dreaded. But maybe due to anger, she forgot her fear towards these creatures.
She noticed that the fear was slowly dissipating, but is still there.
She squatted in front of the caterpillar, staring at it with wonder.
She realized that, between her and the insect, the one that should be more scared was this small thing.
She could easily kill this insect with one stomp, the insect couldn't even do a thing to her.
She took a leaf and scooped the caterpillar up.
She placed it back to its original place and continued her work.
'Nevermind, there's still tomorrow to come.'
She thought as she arranged the soil, her eyes becoming blurred, completely forgetting the bruise on her forehead.
'Still tomorrow.'
Outside a man with cerulean eyes stared at the woman through a window.
Tears were trailing down his cheeks as he looked at his own mother.
Years have indeed passed and now he was 17 years old. Through those years he was trained within his own courtyard.
He was taught by countless people on different things, forming a mountain of knowledge. He was given various strenous training for him to excel in warfare tactics and strategies.
For the past 12 years, he was trained to become a ruler.
Within these years, he had thought of many things. Why his mother left him, why the emperor left him here, why was he even here in the first place?
And at one point he came to hate his mother, who left him behind and forced him to fend for himself. His mother who abandoned him for power, as he thought. His mother who he had not seen for the past years.
But the pent up resentment in his heart for the past decade banished in just a flash.
He still recalled the moment he gave those flowers to his mother.
He was overcome with joy as he slowly dug the ground, imagining the smile on his mother's face.
Yet when he came home, his mother was crying.
It made him worried, he thought that his mother was disappointed with him.
But looking back at it now, he laughed at himself for being such an idiot.
His mother kept the flowers on her favorite pot for the past years, he knew it was her favorite because she always cleaned it every day.
He saw the mountain of wildflowers that grew tremendously through the years.
He also saw how his mother's jet black hair became a bit dull, white strips seen on the strands.
He saw the consort barged in and bullied his mother, how the woman instructed her maids to rip the flowers from his mother's favorite pot.
He saw the grief, sadness, and anger on his mother's face as she saw it pulled.
He saw how his mother retaliated with grace and dignity.
He saw how his mother disregarded her bruise and got back to her work, her shoulders shaking.
He saw everything with his own eyes.
He stood there till the sunset. His face stained with tears.
He blinked his eyes as he clenched his fists tight.
When he saw his mother retire for the evening, he left for a while and came back with something in hand.
He slowly opened the door, creeping forward making sure not to make even a slight sound.
He knelt on the ground facing the large pot. He lifted his other hand to dig a cavity.
He then placed the wildflowers and planted them on the pot.
When he was done, he clapped his hands and bowed deeply towards the door.
"Thank you, mother, for everything."
He stood up straight, his eyes determined and full of life.
"I will make you proud."
Then Minjoon left, his gallant figure conspicuous and slowly fading in the moonlight.
Can I cry???
You can.
Oh my gosh. I’m literally bawling right now. (╥﹏╥).
Thanks for the chapters.
You are very much welcome dear reader!
Sorry, but I just can't remain silent. This entire story is illogical. The emperor supposedly regrets his hasty decision to cast away his wife (the dinner scene several chapters back) but then he cruelly separates his ex-(?) wife and their child, leaving his wife to life in isolation in shabby courtyard and his son the same isolation but in a gilded cage (and giving the son the impression his mother abandoned him, not even giving her ability to visit). In what world are those the actions of a man who loves his family and regrets his actions??? It would be understandable if he still hated them both but the author writes the opposite??? He literally has the supreme power in this county. Even if not reinstating his wife, he could've provided her a comfortable life if he wanted to, and what even was the reason behind forbidding her visiting her own son??? Maybe I'm misunderstanding something, or the author has some hidden meaning behind emperor's dumber than dumb actions, please enlighten me.
Halooo my dear reader Tessiya this dear author is sorry for not being able to clearly convey the emperor's intentions. Therefore, I shall enlighten you as you asked.
The Emperor, Daehyun, is powerful per se but of course has many shortcomings, just like others. He may have been the Emperor, but the internal court is very difficult to trifle with. Once he stepped into power, he immediately noticed the political instability within the internal court--The corruption, the cruelty, and the likemindedness of every official within that hall. He later realized that even though he was the Emperor, it was just a title bestowed upon him. Just like the kings in the past, who only had title and prestige, not power, for they were merely puppets held up with a string. It was the same for him, for he did not have any backing once he inherited the crown. The only friend he could find there was the general, who protected the borders from invaders, while he, the emperor, was left to fight within the sea of people biting with words, full of political intentions.
The constant battle that he had to face made him weary and tired, thus the moment he spotted his wife with another man, he was easily enraged. When I was thinking about the plot and my life, I realized that I have done many things. Things that I regretted saying and do, things that I have done within the spur of a moment. It was the same with the Emperor; the stress has taken too much toll on him that he became like so, regretting it very much like me when he knew of the truth.
He then realized it was a perfect disguise. The officials, or his enemies to be exact, would not target his most beloved if he had a decoy and a pretense of hatred between him and his empress. And it proved to be a very good idea.
Then came the time where he had to separate the mother and child. He had to do it. Not because he reverted to being the coldhearted emperor, but because he thought it was for the best. His actions were strictly overseen by said officials, even his spending, thus he had to be extra careful when providing both his wife and child their needs, sometimes seeking help from his cousin or his trusted friend, Yoonjae to be there for them when he was not around.
He is no perfect and intelligent being, of course, he had his shortcomings. He could have done this and that, but of course, I would like to portray him as a man of many faults, but wise nonetheless. Wise enough to think of a not so perfect but foolproof way to protect his loved ones from all the politics and wise enough to be an able emperor, capable of giving what he could to the both of them.
I am guilty that I was not able to properly convey his character, for I only had a few chapters to write every emotion and every story of each character. Please forgive me for that.
I hope you were enlightened with it. This is by no means me trying to change your views of him and each character, even the plot of the story, but I hoped it helped lessen the confusion. :> I very much like to hear every reader's thoughts because it helps me improve on my writing and think deeply about my characters; their feelings, emotions, and such. That's why I am grateful. Thank you for taking the time to read this book XD I hope it won't burden you too much.
@EmeraldStrawberry Thanks for your answer. The position of an Emperor implies absolute power but his actual powerlessness isn't clearly shown so he was constantly angsting over being a horrible father and husband but not actually doing anything at all, which is incredibly frustrating for me as a reader.