In the following weeks we went out every other day to hunt. Sometimes mother went alone, sometimes all of us went with her and sometimes some of us just stayed at home in our cozy little shelter, waiting for the others to come back. I was no exception, the sin of sloth being too strong in this one.

Some other times it took awhile to come back from a hunt, successful or not, leading to me being left alone at our shelter for days and in some instances having one of my siblings as company. This being one of those rare days, mother going out this morning with everyone else, leaving me alone to vibe in our shelter.

On some days the food got really scarce, though, one of the reasons being the ever increasing amount of food my siblings and I need. 

I should be around some 8-9 months old at the moment and around as large as some of the bigger house cats, which humans like to keep as pets.
Being a juvenile Siberian Tiger the size of a housecat doesn’t have that much impact in a hunt but it’s enough to sometimes distract or hinder our prey long enough for mother to catch up to it and bring it down. So, everytime the food was about to run out and it looked like one of us was about to starve, I always went with mum. 

My siblings don’t have that kind of impact, yet, no matter how big or small it may be. They don’t have the experience and body for it, like me, but my intelligence as a former human gives me a huge advantage in comparison.

There is no progress in terms of personal or magical prowess. The only exception to that statement would be in terms of new and additional knowledge.

I never tried going far but did check upon my body sometimes. Some would maybe call it meditation or others some other type of crap. I call it relaxing and just looking for any kind of feeling different than what is usually considered as normal, inside my body and outside of it, all over and around it.

I didn't come any closer to finding out anything about that [Affinity] tag in my Profile, but found the first tiny signs of some kind of energy permeating the insides of my body. 

No fucking idea whatever the fuck that specific energy could be, though. It could be some kind of radioactivity for all I know.
It could be mana, qi or ki, chakra, maybe even some psi- psycho? I don't even know how the fuck that's called- kind of energy… 

I really feel like that it is definitely not psi or whatever people may want call it. And fuck, I don't even want think about whatever in all of the existing universe that energy could actually be. Ugh, my laziness and demotivation which accompanied me in most of my former life is catching up to me, again. 

Sighing, what am I even doing here? Just… laying in the little shelter I call home and…
I need to stop that train of thought.
Relax, calm down.
Enjoy life, don't think about it and concentrate on the now, no matter how shitty, retarded, useless or needless it may be.

Okay then, let's see… Mana, it could be Mana, but it has usually, in most cases, something to do with elements, as far as I can remember. Furthermore, sometimes there is some kind of manacore, a dantian or something similar for Ki or Qi, too. Ugh, everything varies just too much and often.

Chakra is a bit easier to deduct for that matter, since it's about meridians and all that.
At least I think so…

I sigh.

Mana, Qi, Ki or even Chakra could have lots of differences and similarities. They could all be in all living things, including non-sentients. They could all have something to do with cores or personal cores, too and they could all have some kind of connection and or similarities to elemental systems… 

Wait… am I retarded? No, maybe a genius. Probably both.

Something in my head is trying to tell me that there were maybe some thingies and fantasies like that already but can it really be? 

It's a bit out of context now, really only a bit, though, but I am pretty sure that I am still on earth. No clear or highly different fauna and flora in the wild, at least at the place I am at, one sun and moon, no really big, different, extraordinary things in the sky or night sky, either, as far as I can remember. Cuz, you know, incomplete and lost memories after reincarnation, duh.

… Anyways!
What I wanted to say is, since I am pretty sure that I am on earth or maybe on a really really similar world, plane or whatever else possible, it's unlikely or in this scenario, unexpected and completely out of the norm, that any of these energy sources exist.
BUT! What if they do exist? What if they are actually all the same energy? What if only the knowledge and use of it makes it into a specific one, maybe even downgrades it? 

Argh, so MANY questions and things to test and think about, arghhh! I think to myself while chaotically shaking my head and exhale, "Sigh…
Ffffffuuuuuu-" uck. I end my outburst mentally, since my feline body is not being able to make sounds like those, or form proper words at all, for that matter.

 

…
In the days after following my epiphany, which may actually be true by now, I started with something "simple" and possibly the easiest and most harmless thing that came to my mind, controlling the energy permeating the insides of my body.

I first looked into from where it was originating from. After not finding a proper source, I guessed that it was coming from something outerplanar or whatever the fuck, maybe from my soul or something?
Though, after further inspection, the energy was the most dense around the areas of my head, along the whole length of my spine down to the tip of my tail and corpus, mostly around my organs.

Following after those conclusions, I first tried to and successfully achieved it after an hour, to let the energy slowly start flowing from my heart to the rest of my body through all my veins and back. At the end I felt energized and healthier than I ever was and only felt a really meager amount of an energy drain in return.

At the time I felt guarded and uncertain, fearing a bit for my safety, it made me stop at first  before trying to do the same with my bones, doing only one thing at a time.
I started with condensing the energy already around my spine and then slowly filling up bone after bone, making me feel more healthier in a sense of being more durable and robust, if described more, it would be like drinking a few dozen liters of milk, while you can actually feel how the calcium strengthens your bones in a supernatural sense, furthermore there’s also an additional feeling of safety perhaps.
Holding that up took a moderate strain on my body, though and an even bigger one on my energy reserves over just a short amount time.

The success in it without any real harmful side effects made me more daring, however. While my bones were still enhanced by the energy, I started to pump it into my bloodstream like I did before, too.

The result was… pretty good. I felt… POWERFUL! 

 

No, haha. I snicker to myself, I mean, yes, I did, but… ahh, doesn’t matter, haha. But yes, I did feel pretty strong, but still no match for my mother at all. I am at least a year away from that.

Wait. How come I didn’t think about that till now, more than half a year since my birth? What am I?! I inspect myself for a second. I think… that’s a penis? 

I start trying to touch around my nether region with my two front paws, achieving it a few seconds later.

… yes, definitely a penis.
Now, that answers my question to what I am. Oh, wait… 

Well… haha…
Since we are already at it, I could also mention that I also forgot to check up on my eyes… 

“Sigh…” I exhale again.
I should really do that later, but what’s up with me forgetting all that shit? And so much even… Is it because I am in such a young, underdeveloped and usually not sentient body? Or because of the “recent” reincarnation…?

“Sigh…” I breath out another time.
It’s no use in asking all those unanswerable questions, let’s just get back to my findings...

Wait, that sounds a bit too much like 4th wall breaking… 

Wait a moment…!? What's “4th wall breaking”, even?! I can't quite remember… 

“Sigh…” Back to my findings… 

 

Having both my blood and bones enhanced took an even bigger toll on my body. It did not have that much more of a strain on my energy reserves, though, but I still ran out of juice a few seconds later, which left me exhausted as fuck. Like, really really exhausted. 

It took until the next day and a dose of blissful sleep for my pool to fill back up. I waited until late afternoon, because I still felt tired over the day, before I just repeated everything.
It felt like I was actually able to hold it up for a few seconds longer than yesterday, another new matter to test someday later.

On the next day after I waited till afternoon again, but I tried putting the energy into my muscles for the first time, which gave me a feeling of strength but in contrast to letting it flow into the bloodstream it was less energising, the drain and strain were almost as much as it were with the bones, too.
I ended that day with completely spending the rest of my energy reserves again.

On the next morning I got the idea of using the energy for only a short amount of time in my blood flow to energize myself and maybe get a bit more fit. Guess what, it actually worked. 

Still having enough in my pool, I tried something different again, carefully testing the waters by putting the energies into the nerves of only my right front paw. I had a hunch that the energy could be manipulated by your own needs and wants. There's just the question as to how much.
So I tried to suppress my nerves, pain receptors, feel of touch, wanting to feel less… and it worked. I poked and scratched my right front paw with my left and only felt a sensation of something slightly touching it, as if my right front paw is under heavy anesthetic. 

Then I tried to do the opposite, enhance my physical sensations. It also worked, it made me really freakin’ ticklish, though…
The drain wasn't more than the energy- blood flow circulation. I ended that day with emptying the rest of my pool once more.

 

…
That was yesterday.

Today, as the sun just started to rise in the early morning, mother came back with a boar carcass and my siblings in tow, one of them slightly limping.
I would guess that he or she- I never checked their gender either, ups- probably got bashed by the now dead boar or another animal, which was able to flee, so it shouldn't be that bad, but maybe I could do something…?

I really don’t know if it works, but it should be worth a try.

I slowly trot over the leafy ground of our shelter to my injured sibling, snuggling up to him- yes, I just checked- and his really soft fur, instantly trying to reach out with my energy but failing. I don’t stop cuddling him, though.

What may the problem be…? Hmmm… 

… Ahh!
I subconsciously tried to reach out with my energy churning around my spine and organs, since I was used to utilizing them and only used those two until now. At least I think so…
Furthermore, I didn’t use or tried using the energy originating around my head, yet. I did fill my skull with the energy mostly coming from my spine to enhance it, though.

Shit, I didn’t completely pay attention to all of it… Fuck, I need to test all of it again, and that right now.

I finally stop cuddling my sibling, take some distance, jog on my 4 little paws over to some nice, comfy place and start to repeat everything I have tried so far, only for one or two seconds though, so as to not waste too much of my energy reserves. 

By precisely looking at where the energy is actually coming from, I was able to discern some simple and some may call it amateurish- I myself do so at least- things. 

According to my observations the energy is taken from as in the following;

For the x it’s roughly x%… 
- Bloodstream (60ish% Body(organs?), 20/20ish% Head and Spine)
- Muscles (60ish% Head, 30ish% Spine and some ten percent from the Body)
- Bones (60ish% Spine, 30ish% Head and again some ten percent from the Body)
- Nerves (70ish% Head, 15/15ish% Body and Spine)

I guess I didn’t pay attention at all that I drew so much from the head for my muscles and even more for my nerves…
Furthermore, I guess that I really just subconsciously drew the energy from the body and I can’t put that out of my body, since it’s obviously my body..? Should have actively used my head, duh.

But that doesn’t matter now anymore. I am just retarded, end of argument.

But… why do my muscles draw so much from the head and only so little from the body (or organs) for that matter? It doesn’t make sense… 

Ahh, just fuck it… I sigh.

There is another conclusion I came to, though.

When I add my first tests to the mix, which I have done over the last few days, then I can vaguely deduce that it’s actually all coming from the same energy pool, wherever it may be. Only the “type” of the energy changes, depending on where it is getting drawn from.

The best way to simplify it may be with water pipes and taps.
There’s a pool where the pipe is drawing the water from but that one pipe branches into three pipes.
In one pipe the water gets cooled, in the next it gets heated and in the last pipe the water doesn’t get changed.
All pipes end in their own water tap, letting the changed or respectively not changed water flow out into the same space.
Furthermore, if you want to, or if you can, then you can redirect it wherever you want it to go and maybe even choose whatever you want to use the water for..

Those may actually be the differences of mana, qi, chakra and whatever the fuck not, perhaps it gets “defined” by just depending on where it’s getting drawn through… 

Argh! I just don’t know! I shake my head.

I now need to wait a bit to regenerate most of my used energy, though… Well, it doesn’t matter, I have time anyways… 

…
FUCK! I FORGOT TO EAT! SHIIIIIIIEEEEET!

 

…
It’s afternoon now, I spend most of my time cuddling with my siblings in our cozy abode and enjoying the midday sun of mid autumn, watching leaves fall down through a comfortable breeze here and there, nor too hot or cold, at least as long as you don’t lay shrouded by the shadows of the treetops.
Luckily, I still got some meat from the boar, too… 

Right now I am on my way back in, slouching towards my not so healthy sibling.

As I eventually draw near enough I let myself plop down beside him and go ahead with cuddling his cute little ass face with my own alongside some additional licks here and there. Just a few seconds later do I begin to reach out slowly and carefully with the energy originating from the inside of my head as he finally starts to snuggle me back.

The energy doesn’t “touch” the air at all as it instantly travels between my head into his. I steadily go deeper with my energy into his body after finding purchase in it, being pretty lucky while doing so, since it looks like as if he doesn’t notice or feel me being and moving inside of him- pun intended.

After a few seconds of exploring his insides I found a few of his ribs and both front legs slightly fractured, the right paw being the most damaged. In addition to those areas are some muscles strained, too. This is actually worse than I thought… 

Well, it doesn’t matter anyways, here goes nothing! I tell myself internally as I push most of my energy into the fractured bones. I still have a small tether of it connected to myself, out of fear in losing control, if I don’t have direct contact with it.
I can suddenly feel and see in a kind of supernatural or spiritual sense, whatever you may want to call it, how the bones slowly start to heal back together. It’s a success! Fuck yeah!

But then my energy run out already, leaving the muscles still strained and some moderate cracks in his bones. Well… I could heal the remaining cracks tomorrow in the early morning.

Using this new discovery of mine for the first time left me completely spend and tired, though, making me not do anything else for the rest of the day, except lounging around and thinking about a few new ideas that came to mind, which I want to try out as soon as possible. For example, I am pretty fucking sure and close, to labelling the energy as “Mana”...

There is one more test left over, however, before I will really call it as such.
And I still need to check up on my eyes... ughhhh

In the early morning of the next day we went out to hunt again, though, leaving me to postpone my ideas for at least another day.