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Conway Sophia’s Perspective

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[Sorry about the other day.]

 

Harshly, I pushed send on the message. The green bar on the screen lit up, sending a warm sensation across my face. No doubt about it, I was nervous about my sudden message I sent to Madoka-san. I felt guilty calling her out about her...feelings the other night and it's been eating me up inside, I guess.

“Sophia, what time should I pick you up?”

 

 

“Same time as always, Eleanor.”

I turned back to her, my driver and parental figure for the time being. She flipped her flower pink hair that was tied up in a ponytail. Her teal blue eyes captured mine as she smiled towards me. Despite being young, a few years older than Linda, she was frail and a tad sickly. From a young age, she's suffered from fatigue and chronic muscle pains. Regardless of that, she's a hard-working and genuinely nice person that I’ve grown to know over the time we’ve been together. Simpson Eleanor, my parental guardian in Japan. 

“Have a good day, okay Sophia? I’ll be here to pick you up from school later, Sophia.”

“You don’t have to tell me that every day, Eleanor.”

 

 

Her shoulders slumped as she looked me square in the eyes. I've become accustomed to this look. Apparently, Eleanor wasn't happy with something and she was going to question me like a nagging mom. 

"Sophia..."

She drew out my name. It was slightly annoying how she did it. Pulling up the sleeves of her ash-white sports hoodie, she began her lecture...

"Listen...I know you might be upset at me for locking your sister's number out of your phone..."

"I told you, I don't care. Can I leave now?"

"I...just want you to know that it's nothing against Linda. But...you know your dad doesn't want you talking with her. So, please don't unblock her number. Please?"

By this point, she was literally begging me now. But instead of noticing my irritation, she kept lecturing me.

"Your father and mother would know if you call her. So, don't put her through that, okay Sophia?"

I shrugged my shoulders and spoke as clearly as I could.

"Have a nice day, Eleanor."

I ignored her as I stepped out of the car. The sky was full of grey clouds. Earlier this morning, the forecast called for rain. So, I held my umbrella in my hand in preparation for the shower that was soon to come. Despite my outward irritation, Eleanor still waved me goodbye before she drove away. I watched the car turn the corner. The grey overcast of the clouds made the lights on the car brighter than they should be in the morning.

"So annoying..."

I complained as I sat outside of  Jinda High School…dreading to go inside.

 

 

The sharp sound of my phone crying out made my heart leap. So, I reached into my pocket and took it out. Once I looked at my phone, it appeared as though Madoka responded to my message.

[About Mari-san? No, it’s okay Sophia-san. I’m not upset.]

I couldn’t grasp her tone because of the tasteless text, so I wrote her back in a rush. 

[I’m glad. That is a troubling situation…]

Like lightning, I wanted to reply before she could cut me off. So, I raced with my thumbs as fast as I could…

[Anndddd I was worrieeed I made you upset. @$#$%]

It was littered with errors. Madoka-san is going to think I’m an idiot. I scorned my inability to stay calm in situations like these. With a deep inhale, I closed my eyes and thought about that day…Madoka-san’s birthday. It was that night I realized something fundamental about my friend…

During our little girly girl gossip session, we chatted about our “types” to each other. What kind of person would we like to be with? The way she explained that person…felt as though she already knew who she was talking about. Then at the dinner table…

The way she looked at Koda Mari-san, her stepmother, reminded me eerily of another person in my life. My dearest Onee-san…Taylor Linda. And that worried me. So, I took the chance to pull her aside. How…I’d hate to see my friend turn into a woman like her.

“…Dang it.”

What a complicated situation you must be in right now, Madoka-san. And just like me in this situation…I bet we both feel powerless to an extent. 

That’s when the message came to me. I opened my phone to reveal something a tad too cute for my taste.

[No worries. <3]

“…Idiot…”

I wondered if she ended all her messages with friends with a heart. That fool is going to give the wrong person the wrong ideas. Now, I made my way into the school. At the shoe lockers, I change my outdoor ones for the fitting white and red attire ones. Thinking more about that message…it makes me wonder if Madoka-san truly has any sense of awareness.

“…Madoka-san is going to be gone for a few days.”

That sent a sharp pain in my stomach. Not as if I’ll miss her or anything. It wasn’t that shallow of a reason why I was upset. No, that just means that I’ll be alone the majority of the day. With Mae-san being a year higher than us…and nobody in the classroom approaching me…

“I guess it’ll be nice in a way. I won’t have to deal with her Conchi cutesy bullshit.” 

I sighed. Despite me finding her dumb nickname for me unpleasant…it certainly is something only she calls me, isn’t it?

“…Why is my mind stuck on that four-eyed idiot?”

That was simple…because her situation reminds me of Linda’s. They are both stuck in a love that can never be. How she’s in love with me…despite me not feeling the same way.

“Morning, Sophia.”

 

 

The demon in question caused my heart to nearly leap from my chest. From behind, Linda walked with a briefcase in hand. She passes by, giving me a seductive wink and a wave. Unconsciously, I swallow as a faint hint of vanilla captures my nose. 

“M-Morning, Lin... Taylor-sensei.”

She giggled as she continued her shapely stride down the hallway. Linda plays a dangerous game. She knows that there are people on the school board that will report her if they catch us together…Father already has them in his pocket.

I sighed, harshly now.

And not only that, my driver, Simpson Eleanor, was assigned to know my whereabouts at all hours of the day now. If I don’t tell her where I’m going, she’ll be suspicious. The last thing our parents would want is for us to be caught in a compromising position. The scandal would be monumental, to say the least.

“Why can’t you just give up on me? I’m…a horrible person. Can’t you see you deserve better, Linda?”

“Hey, Sophia-san!”

From behind, that bright blue-haired blueberry I dare call my friend stepped in next. That’s when I realized how long I’ve been standing here.

“That’s right, no Mado-chan, huh?”

She took off her shoes and traded them as we met each other’s gaze now. 

“Looks like it.”

I chuckled, giving her a calm smile. Ever since she had that chat with me about her depression…I’ve begun to see her in a new light. At first, I thought Mae-chan was a hopeless fool who only does things that make her smile. But no…she has her own struggles too. And…I wouldn’t mind helping her through them.

“Are you okay, Sophia-san?”

“Hm?”

“You’re just looking at me. Do I have something on my face?”

“…No, it’s nothing.”

She then turned to the side. With a light in her eye, she turned back to me.

“Ah…there’s your sister.”

Mae gasped as she watched Linda’s shapely back turn the corner.

“Yeah…”

“…Still not going well for you and your family, huh?”

“…No. It’s not, Mae-san.”

The mood instantly turned a tad more depressing. I didn’t want that, but that’s just what happened. 

“…Sorry for bringing it up.”

So, to change the mood, I did what I could to grin.

“No…I’m just glad I could chat with a friend about it.”

“Hehe…same here.”

“How about you, Mae-chan. Are you doing well?”

She shrugged as she bent down to her shoe locker.

 

 

“I got out of bed this morning and Mom scolded me because I left the stove on again. She had every right to get on me this time. It...could have caused a fire. I…tend to do things like that when I’m not feeling the best.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. I couldn't imagine what she was going through. Knowing that she's not acting like the person she wants to be. No matter how much she struggles to stay positive, a force constantly pushes her down. How I wish the Watanabe Mae-san that I met a while back was the real one. But that wasn't true...for as long as I've known her she's been hiding this side of herself. So, I changed my crude tone and asked her more gently now.

“Have you thought about seeing a doctor or maybe a therapist about it, Mae-san?”

She waited a bit before she turned back to me. Those bright green gem eyes that always sparkled were slightly dimmed. She sighed and shrugged her toned shoulders.

“…I don’t think I’m ready for that yet, Sophia-san. I mean…it took everything I had just to mention it to you and Mado-chan. It’s…a little hard for me to ask for that kind of help right now.”

She moaned as she closed her locker.

“I like to believe that I can…push forwards without that kind of help, you know Sophia-san?”

“…I understand, Mae-san.”

I leaned down to meet her and placed my hand on her back. She glanced back at me as she tied her shoes. She might have been a tad surprised. Well, that's the conclusion I came to from the look on her face.

“Madoka-san and I will do everything we can to help you. So, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“…You’ve changed, Sophia-san.”

“Hm?”

She turned back to me with a beaming smile on her face.

“You told me about what happened between you and Madoka-san on Cultural Day…but I think you didn’t tell me everything.” 

“Oh, what the hell are you talking about?”

My mood soured as she stood up. This blue numbskull was teasing me now. 

 

 

“I…I think Mado-chan might have hit the right spot with you. I think she softened up that rugged interior of yours. What did she do, huh? Tell me! Tell me!”

“Nothing! We had a chat, and that was it!”

I could feel the blood in my body race up my cheeks. There were two things I omitted from my chat with Mae-san.

Firstly, our “pecking of lips.” It was so minor I didn’t feel anything. And It’s not as if I haven’t kissed someone before. All that happened were two girls who mistakenly pecked lips. That’s it.

 

The second one was…Madoka-san holding me in her arms. 

 

 

I think it was that…that might have changed the way I viewed her.

Despite me having an outburst…acting like the spoiled rich girl I’ve been my entire life…Nakagawa Madoka-san took me in her arms and told me…

That it will be okay…

That she will be there for my sister…

 

And for some reason…I believed her words to be true. Madoka-san…eased my worries to the point that I could now smile, believing that if Taylor-sensei one day wakes up and notices that our love won’t ever be…that Madoka-san will be there to hear her in my place.

“Heeeey…You’re thinking of Mado-chan, aren’t you?!”

 

 

“What the hell is your problem?”

I bonked her on the head…playfully though. Before I knew it, I puffed my cheeks. I wanted to scream and yell at her...but instead of letting those aggressive emotions guide me into something I'd regret, I settled for pouting.

“It’s just lately Mado-chan has been in the mouths of a lot of people. Seems my childhood friend has made an impression on the people here.”

That’s when we began walking. Despite Mae-chan having to go into a different hall, being a year older, she walked with me down the freshman corridor. 

“Is that so?”

“Yep. And did you hear who her coworker is at her new job?”

I shrugged. 

“No idea.”

“It’s Okabe Kasumi-san.”

“What?!”

I nearly shouted. Just the idea of working with that ivy-haired beast gave me chills. I instantly felt sorry for that idol-loving idiot. Mae-san just giggled that cute chuckle of hers.

“Yep. I didn’t even know Okabe-san had a job.”

“She didn’t have one when I was friends with her. But to be fair…I don’t care much about her nowadays anyway.”

“Yeah. We don’t see each other at all because I stopped skipping a while back.”

“Okabe-san really is a lone wolf I guess.”

Mae shrugged.

“Well, she does it to herself, I won’t lie. You…can’t tell her anything without her going behind your back and telling others. It’s…a tad off-putting.”

I closed my eyes and thought about her for a bit. She was the first friend I made in Japan…How I thought that we might have a strong bond. But that was instantly shattered the moment I confided in her about Linda and me. The situation that strangled us even today... 

 

 

“Eeeeww, are you serious? That’s gross.”

Gross…

That’s what she called my sister…

She called my lovely sister…gross.

Regrettably, I fractured a few bones in my knuckles that day when I punched her lights out. But she never wanted to speak to me again. So, I was fine with that. How…I hate that girl. Madoka-san, on the other hand, was nothing like her. She held me tight and accepted my struggles. She took it seriously and didn't dare to mock me about it...Suddenly, the bell rang, causing me to break from that short reminiscence.

 

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“Oh, I need to get to class before I’m late! See you at lunch, Sophia-san!”

There she went with the speed of a rabbit. Mae-san was like that. One minute she’s there, and the next she’s gone. But she of course has her own struggles. And like Madoka-san put it…I want to be there for her too.

“…I have good friends.”

I concluded as I made my way into class.