I woke up at a table that had a book on it. My head felt foggy as I tried to figure out where I am. The last thing I remember was getting pulled into a dark space and being stared down by familiar black eyes. 

  “You are finally awake, ▇▇▇▇▇. I was getting worried that you died in your sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time that this happened.” A heard a familiar woman's voice and when I looked in front of me I saw the familiar scribble figure with black eyes. She was sitting at the table with me and had a lazy posture.

  I realized she wasn’t alone at the table, I saw the two different Aurelia also sitting at the table with the scribble out figure. Their expressions were blank as they looked at me with no emotion. I couldn’t understand what was happening or where I was.

  “W...Where is this place?”  The place I was in was completely black, I couldn’t see anything beyond me except for the table that was currently in front of me. Even though the place I was in was just darkness I could feel eyes looking at me, judging me. I didn’t know where they were coming from but I just knew they were here.

  “That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you answer some questions for me. These are easy questions. But for you, it may be hard. After all, you are such a liar.” The voice of the scribble figure was so strange to me. At times it sounds like a normal woman's voice but then it would get all deep and scratchy. 

 “Why do I have to answer your questions?” I didn’t like how I was being looked at by this scribble figure. She was looking at me with contempt and I couldn’t understand why. Was she someone I know? 

  “Because I said so. Now answer my question ▇▇▇▇▇. I can’t wait to see what lies you will tell me. It will be so fun!” The scribble figure reaches for the book on the table and opens it. She then turned the open book towards me and instead of seeing anything in the book, I just saw pages that were completely covered in pencil scribblings. 

  “What am I supposed to be seeing? These are just scribblings.” I couldn’t understand what she was trying to show me. At what I said the scribble figure let out a short harsh laugh. But it seems like she couldn’t help herself and she went into an uncontrollable laughing fit.

  “This is hilarious! You actually block out everything! Forgetting your past and pretending you don’t know anything! So fucking pathetic!” She was shaking with laughter at what I just and looked like she was going to fall out of her seat. At her laughing, the other two Aurelia started to laugh with her but their expression didn’t change. They had nothing on their face as they laughed along with her.

  I felt like I was being drowned in laughter as they continued to laugh at me. It was horrible and I wanted them to stop laughing at me. Why are they laughing?! I want them to stop! Make them stop!

  “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!” I slammed my hands onto the table and it shook under me. I was breathing heavily but the laughing finally stopped. I was then being looked at with a blank expression once more.

  “Quit acting like a child. You are an adult no matter what your current appearance is. So act like one.” The scribble figure spoke in a harsh tone as she slammed a fist into the table and I could hear something break. The table tipped to the side but didn’t crash to the ground.

  The scribble figure went back to turning pages in the book that she was holding and she got to a familiar scene and I felt my breathing stop for a second as I was forced to look at the book.

  “I came home from work. I was soaked in water from the sudden downpour that appeared out of nowhere. I took a bath for an hour and went to play the game so I could figure out who the hidden character was. Then everything is a complete blank… But that a lie, isn’t it  ▇▇▇▇▇?” The scribble figure was tapping the picture of my final moment in my last life. I was just sitting in front of my TV as I played “A Highschool Royal Romance”. My eyes looked tired as I blankly played the game.

 “Hey, you do know how you pass away, don’t you? You know what happened next. So why are you acting like you don’t remember what happened next? You can’t act like you don’t know what happened.” The scribble figure was tapping her finger on the page as she looked at me with black, empty eyes. 

  I don’t know if she was doing it on purpose but her finger taps were in time with my heartbeat. I could feel cold sweats appearing on my back and my vision was getting shaky in front of me. Even though I wasn’t in a small area it felt like I was slowly being suffocated.

  “How did you die? You know how you die. Now tell me how it happened. Make sure it is the truth this time.” The scribble figure closed the book and placed it on the table. I was being looked at by all three people who were at the table. I felt like I was on a trial and it was driving me crazy.

  “I...I don’t remember…” I was digging my nails into the palm of my hands as I looked down at the table.  I didn’t want to look at them anymore, I felt like if I kept looking at them they would know I was lying to them.

  “You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth. You are a liar. Tell us the truth.” The three of them got out of their seats and slowly walked towards me with a dark look in their eyes. I pushed my chair back as I went to put a distance between us.

  “How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? How did you die? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE? HOW DID YOU DIE?” Their voices were getting warped and they were surrounding me in my seat. I had my knees closed to my chest and I was covering my ears as I tried to block out their voices. 

  I couldn’t take it anymore. It felt like their voices were digging into my head and I couldn’t hear myself think. I couldn’t handle it. Make it stop. Go away. I am sorry. Please stop it. Why is this happening? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

  “I KILLED MYSELF! I FUCKING KILLED MYSELF!” I screamed at them and the voices stopped right away. I don’t know when but I wasn’t sitting down anymore, I was just standing in the middle of them. I was panting and I was still avoiding looking at them.

  “You finally told the truth. I am surprised at this. I thought I would have to force you to relive your last moment. I can’t help but be disappointed by this. But at least I got to see such torture look on your face.” The scribble figure was laughing again and I just wanted her to stop it. Why was she doing this to me?

  “Who are you…? Why are you doing this?” I was speaking quietly but my voice still managed to sound so loud in this place. She stopped laughing right away and I could feel her cold eyes looking at me.

  “The fact you don’t know me is hurtful. We knew each other for so long. How could you forget me so easily ▇▇▇▇▇? I could never forget you so why is it so easy to forget me. It makes me want to kill you.” Before I could even react I felt a hand go for my throat and I was lifted. The hand holding my throat wasn’t holding back with how tightly she was grabbing at my throat. 

  I could see many black dots appearing in my eyes as the scribble figure didn’t ease up with her grip on my throat. I struggled for a while, trying to kick at her but I slowly gave up fighting against her. I was just too tired and wanted to give up…

  “Solta o noso filla agora. (Release our daughter now.)” The scribble figure quickly moved out of the way when an attack appeared out of nowhere. I was quickly pulled into a familiar embrace and I was coughing harshly as I rub at my throat.

  “Oh, isn’t this nice. You manage to find us. Even though I made to get rid of the magic stone necklace. I guess I needed to be smarter about this. You are a powerful being, aren’t you?” The scribble figure laughed to herself and didn’t seem to care much that she was almost attacked by the figure.

  “Quen eres? Por que estás a facer dano ao noso fillo? O noso precioso bebé. (Who are you? Why are you harming our child? Our precious baby.)” The figure's voice sounded angry as their embrace slowly grew tightly. They relaxed their hold once they heard me let out a pained groan.

  “I am not telling~ But your dear child does know who I am. She just doesn’t want to remember me. That makes me feel so sad. I think I am going to cry.” The scribble figure brought her hands to her face and made a fake crying sound. The two Aurelia with her copy her and pretend to cry along with her. 

  “Pare estes xogos. Indícanos quen es ou verémonos obrigados a empregar outros métodos para obter respostas. (Stop these games. Tell us who you are or we will be forced to use other methods to get answers.)” The figure was getting annoyed with the scribble figure antics and the dark area I was in reacted to their emotions.

  “I understand, I understand. I know when I am not wanted. I will leave now. But I hope you know this, I will always be here. Just hiding away from your sight.” With those words, the scribble figure disappeared from my sight leaving behind the two Aurelia.

  “I don’t know what to say to you… What a sad life that we have…”  The crying Aurelia with black eyes gave me a look of pity before she disappeared from my sight. The only one left behind was the gaping hole Aurelia who was still looking at me with a blank expression.

  “I really don’t have anything to say to you ▇▇▇▇▇. I knew you were pathetic but this is even lower for you. Forgetting your past won’t erase what happened. Your past will always be the same. No matter how hard you ignore it.” With those words, she left as well. I was alone with the dark space still being held by the figure who was rubbing at my back.

  “Nena noso, estás ben? Sentímolo, permitimos que isto che suceda. (Our girl, are you okay? Sorry, we let this happen to you.)” The figure whispers this in my ear and the surroundings in front of me change. I was somewhere familiar again. I was in the garden that was located in the back of my house. We were in the flower section of the garden.

  “Estás ben? Non sabemos que facer. Nunca fomos bos en comprender as emocións humanas. (Are you ok? We don’t know what to do. We have never been good at understanding human emotions.)”  The figure placed me on the ground and I was surrounded by flowers but they didn’t bring the usual calmness I often got from being around flowers.

  I felt numb as I stood in these flowers. My leg was still aching and I realized I didn’t do anything about the wounds I got from my ‘brother’ magic attacks. I should be concerned about the frostbite that was still on my leg but I really couldn’t be bothered.

  The figure noticed my indifference to everything around me and went to move towards me again but stopped when they heard footsteps approaching where we were. Giving me a look of regret, the figure disappears, leaving me alone.

  “Aurelia! You are here!” Hearing the familiar voice of Sybil, I turned to look at him with empty eyes. Everything felt like it was moving too slow and too fast. I didn’t know what was happening anymore and I just wanted everything to stop.

  “Everyone was looking for you after you disappeared from your room! We were worried you got kidnapped when we noticed that your magic stone necklace was left behind.” When I looked down at Sybil's hand I saw that he was holding my magic stone necklace.

  Sybil got closer to me and put the magic stone back around my neck. I just absentmindedly rub at the magic, not feeling the usual sense of relief. I just felt nothing and everything at the same time. My emotions were so hard to understand.

  “Aurelia… What are those markings around your neck? Did someone choke you?” Sybil's ears were twitching nervously as he noticed the choke marks. I rubbed at them and I felt a small tingle of pain go through me as I touched them.

  “Oh… I did get the choke, didn’t I? I see…” I wasn’t really concerned about what happened to me. I didn’t care. What the point of caring anymore. I have nothing to care about. I…

 “Aurelia, what is wrong? You aren’t acting like your usual self. Did someone hurt you? Where were you for these past hours?” Sybil's voice was rising as he tried to understand what was happening with me but I didn’t care about how he was reacting.

  “I am such a pathetic person… No one truly cares about me and yet I always have a small hope that people do care… I am stuck in an endless cycle of disappointment that I trapped myself in. I really am such a fool…” I was just speaking softly to myself and wasn’t looking at Sybil. I wasn’t really looking at anything, I just felt so distant from everything.

  “If I were to die no one would care… No one cares about…” Before I could even finish what I was going to say I felt a sharp pain on my cheek. My head was off to the side and I slowly turned my head to look back at Sybil who still had his hand raised.

  He was looking at me with angry eyes and had tears in his eyes. I put a hand to my sore cheek still feeling confused about what just happened to me. Sybil started to rub at his eyes as his tears started to increase at a fast pace. 

  “Why did you say something so cruel…? So many people care about you yet here you are saying something so cruel! Do you really not think everyone in this house cares about you? If they didn’t care they wouldn’t be here! They wouldn’t be looking so desperately for you! SO DON’T YOU SAY THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!” Sybil was crying as he spoke to me and I couldn’t understand why he was acting like this. It didn’t make sense to me.

  “W...What are you talking about? I don’t get it… No one cares about me… I am unwanted, hated, unloved, pathetic. How could anyone really care about me… You are just lying to me. I know you are lying! Stop lying to me!” I was getting angry with Sybil. Why was he saying these false things to me? I know that one day I will be alone so why is he saying such lies to me.

  “Stop thinking you know everyone! Not everyone is like your father and brother! There are people who do care about you! They would be so sad if you were to die one day! So don’t you dare say no one would care if you were to die!” Sybil got angry with me as well and we were standing so close to each other. I just wanted him to stop lying to me already. Why is he still lying to me?!

  I couldn’t hold back the anger I was feeling and tackle him to the ground. I raised a fist and went to punch him in the face. But before I could even hit him in the face I stopped myself. I couldn’t move my body, I just had to hit him in the face yet I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was just frozen in place as I slowly lowered my fist.

  “Why do you even care about me… You just met me one time and yet you would die for me. That is so suspicious… I can’t trust your words…”  I was gripping onto Sybil's uniform as I questioned him. I just felt so tired and everything was too much for me to handle. 

  “You really look like your mom… She was really nice and had such a beautiful smile… I guess I am being selfish since the reason why I care so much about you is that you look like her… I may just be trying to be the person who brings light back into your eyes… But I do care about you… It is not because of your mom but because of you…” Sybil was looking at me directly in the eyes and he looked so honest… But what if he was just lying… What if he is just saying that?

  “You probably don’t believe me and I understand that but please know that people do care about you. How could no one care about you? You are truly one of a kind. You are special, Aurelia.” Sybil put a hand to the cheek he slapped and gently rubbed at it like he was trying to say sorry for slapping me.

  I couldn’t help but start crying and lower my head to his chest. I was still gripping onto the front of his uniform and my hold increased. I was rubbing my face into his chest as the tears couldn’t stop coming out of my eyes.

  “I… I really want someone to love and care about me… That's all I want… Nothing matters to me but that. I just want to be loved so badly. I know that no matter how much I wish for that it won’t happen for me. But is it so bad that I still hope for it…” My voice was wavering as I spoke into Sybil's chest as I continued to cry. I could feel that my shoulder was shaking as I cried silently to myself, not allowing myself to cry out.

  “I love you, Aurelia. My mom loves you. Your servant loves you. You are loved. You are loved so much…” Sybil wrapped his arms around me and brought me closer to him. I could feel that he was rubbing his cheek against my head and patting at my back in a soothing motion.

  “I… I am not fine. Everything is not fine! I don’t feel okay at all! Everything is too much for me to handle! I am so scared… I am so lonely! I want my mommy!” I started to cry out, no longer caring about holding back my emotions anymore. I just felt too tired to pretend I was okay. I am not okay at all.

 Sybil just rubbed at my back and didn’t say anything as he allowed me to cry into his chest. I don’t know how long I cried but when I was finally done I realized there was someone else standing in the flower garden.  Looking up I saw that Mae was standing there with puffy looking eyes.

  I slowly got up from the ground with Sybil and hid behind him, too ashamed to face Mae after what just happened earlier. But I didn’t stay too long behind him since he pushed me toward her and when I looked at him with troubled eyes he just smiled at me.

  Before I could say anything to Mae, she quickly closed the distance between us and hugged me tightly to her body. I could feel my shoulder getting wet as she started to cry. I couldn’t help but be frozen for a second but I slowly put my arms around her and I could feel myself getting teary-eyed again.

  “I’m sorry Mae… Please forgive me… I didn’t want to do that. I just felt so angry! Please don’t be afraid of me. I promise I will be better!”  I was holding onto Mae tightly as I begged her not to hate me. I didn’t want her to hate me. I would be in so much pain if she hated me.

  “I will never hate you. I care about you too much. I love you so much, Aurelia. You are so important to me.” Mae's voice was wavering as she spoke to me. She was holding onto me so tightly like she doesn’t want to let go of me. I held back just as tightly and didn’t want to let go of Mae.

  But this moment came to an end when I felt a sharp pain in my leg that caused me to flinch in Mae's hold. Mae quickly moved away from me and looked at me with worried eyes. She noticed I wasn’t putting too much force on one of my legs and quickly went to check it out. When she saw the frostbite on my leg she let out a concerned gasp and quickly gestured for Sybil to come over.

  “Sybil, carry Aurelia to her room. I am going to get some magic ointment to help out with that. Make sure she doesn’t walk on her feet at all.” After saying this, Mae rushed over to the house. After she was gone I felt myself go weightless for a moment and I was being held by Sybil. 

  I struggle for a bit but settle down after getting patted on my back reassuringly. I was too tired and wanted to rest my eyes for a bit. So I just leaned my head against Sybil's shoulder and closed my eyes.

  “...You are the best. I love you, big brother…” I mumbled this to Sybil and I could feel his hold on me tighten for a bit but quickly got gentle again as he let out a troubled sigh. I couldn’t really understand what I said wrong but quickly stopped thinking about it after he rubs at my back.

  “I guess I have the role of an older brother now… Not something I was aiming for but I guess I can wait a bit longer…” Sybil mumbled this to himself and I couldn’t understand what he meant but I was too tired.

  I moved in closer to Sybil and just nuzzled into his grip. I eventually fell asleep in Sybil's hold. After falling asleep I woke up to a familiar scene. I was just floating in place at my old house. I was looking at an older woman who was playing an otome game on her TV.

  I couldn’t make out the woman's features because every time I tried to look directly at her it would get scribbled out. The woman finally stopped playing the game after she completed it. The game showed a congratulation sign on the TV, showing off the fact she did every route in the game.

  The woman did not react to this and just walked toward the bathroom that was located near her room. She was in the bathroom for a second before she came out of it, now holding a bottle of pills. She went and sat on her bed as she looked at the pills in her hands.

  She opens the pill bottle and pours many pills in her hands. She then threw her head back as she swallowed all the pills in her hand. She ended up coughing up a few pills that ended up on her floor.

  Placing the pill bottle on the floor, she went to sleep on her bed. As she closed her eyes her breathing slowly decreased until she was no longer breathing.

  I woke up with a start from my dream and I was covered in sweat. I looked around the room and relaxed when I saw I wasn’t back in my old home… I lay back in my bed and rub at my eyes with a groan.

  When I looked next to me I saw a cart of food next to my bed. I got out of my bed and I realized I was no longer wearing the clothes from the tournament. I was wearing my usual nightgown and one of my legs was bandaged. It still hurt a bit but it didn’t hurt as much as before.

  When I got closer to the food cart and lifted the lid covering the food I saw that there was curry that still looked like it was just cooked. I could feel tears appear in my eyes at this. This was the first food I ate when I came to this world. I didn’t know if I was feeling emotional or it was someone else. I just knew I felt so happy…

  I ate my curry in silence and sat on my bed for a while thinking deeply… I realize that I was forgetting some stuff from my past… I don’t know if I was doing this on purpose or maybe something happened to my memories when I came into this body.

  I just knew that me remembering would be important… Even if I didn’t want to remember anything… I felt so scared but I knew it was something I would have to face even if I didn’t want to deal with it.

  Remembering was the only way to deal with that scribble figure. If I didn’t remember she would kill me. She had to be from my past and me running away from her isn’t an option...

  I walk over to the desk in my room that was facing the window, ignoring the dull pain the went through my leg every time I put pressure on it.  I notice that it was still dark but I could see that the sun was going to come up soon. I really had no idea how much time went by or how long I was asleep but for now, I didn't care about it.

  I am not fine. I never was fine.  In my last life I couldn't take the pain I was dealing with and left everything behind.  I don't remember much of my past and I am scared to remember it. I don't want to remember all the things I went through but I knew if I wanted to get a deeper understanding of my emotions I had to do it.

  I want to be able to live a life where I am truly happy. Maybe this time I will be able to find happiness... I don't have high hopes about it but... I do want to try... 

  I don't remember my name from my past life. In this life, I was reincarnated as the villainess of a game I loved more than anything. She never had any happy endings in the game. Always being abandoned by her family in the end. Her name, no, my name is Aurelia Giliam. I will try to live a life where I am able to find my own happy ending.

  I sat at my desk as I looked out the window, waiting for the sun to come up. I knew I should go back to my bed but I was too comfortable at my desk. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I slowly watch as the sunlight gradually cover the dark sky. I don't know when but I must have fallen asleep at my desk. 

  I dreamt of... I don't really remember but it was something really great... 

Danshi

Volume one is done~ I feel proud of myself about how far I came with this story and I am happy with the people who enjoyed the story. I do hope you will stick around for Volume two. It won't happen right away but I will have chapters through the eyes of different characters. Three characters specifically. I do hope you will enjoy it. Thank for the support. I love you guys (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡