I was standing in front of a huge door, it was towering over me. The door looked ominous in front of me. I didn’t feel safe as I stood in front of this door. I just knew there was something behind this door that I didn’t want to see…

  I could feel my body move as I went to open up the door. Even though the door was so huge I managed to grab hold of the doorknob. The doorknob felt cold against my hot and sweaty palm. I was hoping that the door was locked but my heart sank when it opened without any problem.

  I push the door and it slowly opens up. I didn’t move as the door continued to open up. I was frozen in that spot as I looked straight ahead. I didn’t want to move forward but I wasn’t in control of my body. 

  I walked into the darkroom and kept walking until I saw a light. When I reached the light source I felt my heartbeat increase in speed. I saw a knocked-over chair and a… body that was swinging above the ground.

  It was a woman's body that was wearing a wedding dress… Her head was hanging awkwardly due to the noose that was around her neck. I couldn’t see her face as it was covered by her long hair. For some reason I started to cry as I looked up at this woman, I could feel my mouth open as I let out a sound but I couldn’t hear what I was saying.

  Then the woman who was swinging on the noose stopped moving back and forth then her head straightened. She grabbed at the noose that was holding her up and untied herself from it. She gently got to the ground but still had the noose hanging from her neck. Her head kept awkwardly falling off to the side as she stood in front of me.

 I was frozen in fear as she started to walk toward me… When she finally got in front of me, I was grabbed by both of my shoulders and I couldn’t get out of her grip no matter how much I moved.

  Then the hair that was in front of her face slowly moved out of the way and I saw?

  “Aurelia, are you still with me?” I was snapped out of my thoughts by a man's voice. I blinked my eyes in confusion and looked at who called me. I didn’t understand where I was for a second but remember as soon as I looked at the man who called me.

  I was currently at my mandated therapy appointment. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts again… This kept happening for the past two years after my magic freak out. Dreams of my past kept showing up at night and even when I was awake I couldn’t escape them. I felt like I really wasn’t in my body anymore and my mind wasn’t even a safe place for me.

  “Are you having trouble processing your emotions right now?” The man was speaking to me in a gentle voice but it didn’t do anything for me. He is just pretending to be gentle towards me… I know he just wants me to trust him so he could figure out a way to prevent me from having another magical freakout.

  I knew how everyone else saw me, the girl whose magic is dangerous to everyone else if her emotions grow crazy. I was feared and hated… I doubt they would care about my magical freak out if they were able to control it for their uses.

 “...I know that you don’t trust me even after seeing each other for two years but I honestly do want to help you. I can’t help you if you don’t speak to me.” The man looked a bit tired as he told me this. I didn’t care if I was causing him stress, I just wanted him to give up and stop pretending he cared about me.

    The room I was in was silent as I looked at the clock that was about to reach the end of my appointment. I looked back at the upset man who was sitting in his big chair. He had placed his notepad on the table and I saw that he had nothing written down. I thought he would at least write something about my behavior but I guess it would be boring to write about me not saying anything to him. I looked back at the clock and realized in just a few seconds my appointment would come to an end.

  “...I have been having bad dreams for the past two years after my magical freakout,” I said only that, and before he could even say anything to me a ringing echo throughout the room I was in. I got up from my seat and didn’t look at him as I exited the room.

  I closed the door softly behind me and headed for the outside. As I was exiting the building I saw Erik and he saw me. It was just a few seconds of quietly looking at each other before I looked away from him… His eyes still looked very much scared as he looked at me.

  When I was out of the building I saw my car was already there waiting for me. I picked up my pace as I headed to the car. When I got into it I saw my usual driver who smiled at me as soon as I got in. I could smell his cigarette in the car but it didn’t bother me, it was actually comforting in some way.

  “There you are, little miss! How was the appointment today?” He asked me the usual question whenever I finished my appointment. 

  “It was fine.” And I gave him the same answer, as always.

  He looked like he wanted to say more but only smiled at me. I looked out the window as he started the car up again and started to drive me home. He didn’t say anything during the ride, only turned on the car radio but made sure not to make it too loud. 

  As he did that I started to disappear into my head again. It is a habit that started up and I can’t make it stop. It felt like the moment I realized I locked away the memories of my past life they have slowly been making their way back through my dreams and my thoughts. I know I have to remember them but at the same time, it scares me very much…

  What will happen the moment I remember the reason why I killed myself? Will it drive me to kill myself once more and hope that this time I won’t be brought back? These thoughts often appear in my head and they are scary thoughts…

  I was brought out my thoughts once more as my door opened up and a hand was being held in front of me. I grab the hand gently and step out of the car. When I focused in front of me I saw the door to my house was open and Mae was standing right there. I felt a burst of happiness appear in my heart and I tried not to make it show on my face.

  I made my way toward Mae in a way that didn’t seem like it was hurrying but still was moving fast. When I got in front of Mae, she hugged me close to her tightly before giving me space. During the two years, Mae had decided to cut her hair so that it was closer to her neck. She also started to wear glasses since her eyesight started to get a bit worse. But she is still very much warm as always.

  “Aurelia, how was the appointment today?” Mae had one of her hands on my cheek as she looked me directly in the eyes. I didn’t see any type of fear or nervousness in her eyes and that just made my heart get warm. She really is the same…

  “It was fine.” Yet I still told her the same lie that I always tell her. I am still scared to let her in fully. What if she sees something she doesn't like and slowly leaves my side? I don’t want her to disappear from me…

  “I see… Well, dinner is currently being made so how about you go to your room? There is a letter to you about a party.” After kissing my forehead slowly, Mae turned herself as she headed off to the kitchen. I looked at her for a second longer before heading to my room.

  As I was walking to my room I could hear the voices of my servant calling out to me in happy voices. I greeted them back as I passed by them. They still treated me the same as always. It made my heart get a warm feeling as well but I didn’t think too much about it.

  When I reached my room I noticed that my door was open a bit. I already knew the reason why and let out a sigh as I entered my room. I saw right away that Sybil was laying on my bed as he read a book. I could tell he was about to pass out as he struggled to read the book.

  “Don’t read any of my books if it bores you this much.” I grab the book out of his hands and walk over to my desk to place it back to the place it was originally located. I noticed that there was a letter on my desk which probably meant it was the party invitation Mae mentioned to me.

  “I wouldn’t be so bored if the book you read wasn’t so dull. Why do you have so many learning books? Get some actually fun books. It feels like you are more of a fifty years old than a thirteen-year-old with how much you enjoy reading boring books.” I felt Sybil put his arm around my shoulder as his face got close to mine. I wasn’t bothered by this as I went to open up the letter.

 I quickly looked through the letter and got a quick understanding of what this party was about. This family probably wanted to get a close relationship with me so they don’t have to worry about getting on my bad side if I ever have another magical freakout. They aren’t the first family to do this.

  I was going to go like I always did with parties like this. It worked both ways after all. They would get a “relationship” with me and I would get more people to work with me. It was nice especially if the family that invited me to the parties had children around my age. I needed a group of followers like the original Aurelia after all.

  “Oh, another group of kiss asses wants to become your ‘friend’. I don’t see why you even bother with people like them. You know they just want to use you.” I could feel Sybil's tail moving behind him in an irritated manner. I knew he didn’t like when people wanted to use me for their own goals. He felt like a dog protecting his master when he got like this.

  “It works both ways. They get to think they are using me and before they know what is happening, they will realize that I am the one using them. Does that make me a kiss ass as well?” I turned around to look at Sybil and we were so close that our noses were touching. Sybil's ears twitch a bit before putting more distance between us with a light blush on his face. I didn’t see why that was embarrassing, we were basically siblings in each other's eyes.

  “W-Well if you are the one doing it then I am okay with it.” I only nodded at what he said before heading over to my closet to figure out what I should wear for this party. I had to look my best when meeting with new business partners. 

 I spent my time in my room picking out my outfit with Sybil helping out. Well, helping out as best as he could. His sense of fashion really doesn't match mine so he was more in the background. After I finally decided what I should wear for the party it was time for dinner and I headed out of my room.

  For some reason, as I thought about the party I kept getting a weird feeling. I felt really cautious about going, worried that something may happen to me during the party. But I decided to push it to the back of my mind until it was the party.

  During the few weeks before the party I was thinking about the weird feeling, just focus on doing my usual schedule. Go to my therapy sessions, study by myself for a while, probably get visited by Eli, ignore letters from annoying people, and sneak off to my mom's hidden room.

  I would still get dreams during this time, always the same door, the same woman, never seeing her face… I wanted to see her face so badly but at the same time, I felt afraid. I knew this woman and she knew me. My heart hurts whenever I see her and I really want to hug her tightly to me… I don’t want her to leave my side…

  When the day of the party arrived I was getting my hair done by Mae. My hair had increased during the years and I was deciding whether or not I should cut it like Mae. When I mentioned that to her it was a negative response from her. Since she like my hair so much I decided to keep it long just for her.

  “I am sorry that Sybil won’t be able to join you this time. His father wanted to take him somewhere and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He even tied him up and took Sybil to the place.” Mae let out a sigh as she shook her head at her husband's actions. I never actually met her husband but he often gave me weird gifts from his trips.

  “It's fine, the party would be rather boring so it would be better if he doesn’t come with me.” I didn’t let it bother me, it would be like any party I would go to and it would end the same. Yet the feeling from before came back once more and it was stronger than before. I tried to calm myself by touching the magic stone around my neck. It grew warm at my touch and I felt better, for now.

  Mae finally finishes with my hair and finishes it off by putting a daisy hair clip in my hair. She braided my hair and put it into a bun. I always enjoy the different ways she would do my hair for me. I felt reluctant to learn how to style my hair myself if it means that she would never do my hair again.

  “Okay, I am done. You always look so beautiful Aurelia. I just want to keep you here so that no nasty boy will steal you away.” Mae frowned as she thought about something that I doubt will happen to me. She always worries I would fall for a no good boy but I haven’t really felt that for anyone. Love is too troublesome for me. 

  “That won’t happen anytime soon, Mae.” I got up from the seat I was sitting on and fixed my dress. I had a medium-length black poofy skirt with an empire waist and bell-shaped sleeves. I was wearing low-heeled lace-up black shoes. I put on a light sweater just in case it is a little windy.

  “I am going to head out. It probably will just be for around two hours so don’t start dinner until it is close to the time I am returning.” I started to head outside with Mae following behind me. My servants all gave me a quick bow as they watched me leave. Before I took a step outside I felt like I had to say something else to Mae before I leave.

  “I love you, Mae. Make sure to take care of yourself and the house while I am away.” Giving her a quick small smile I turn and step out of the house. I was moving a bit quickly so I couldn’t hear Mae say something. I still felt embarrassed when I told her stuff like that. 

  When I got into my car it still smelled like the usual cigarette and I could only shake my head at my driver. He is old and he should be more careful with his health. I could see my driver awkwardly rub behind his neck at my disapproving stare. I was fine with him smoking once in a while but I rather it not be nonstop smoking.

  “You look stunnin’ little miss! I bet all the other gals at the party will be jealous of you. You better be sure to keep those boys at a distance! They will be droolin’ after you at this party.” I really couldn’t understand why my driver also thought that about me. I am the same as always, doubt that it will cause any change in how boys see me. I still have the same thoughts about them.

  “I can keep them away just by staring at them so I am not worried at all.” I wasn’t joking about that at all. Whenever I look anyone directly in the eyes they usually grow quiet and tend to wander off so I can no longer look at them. 

  “What a nice skill to have. I remember doing that when I was a young man, pretty sure I made someone piss their pants once. It was funny as hell!” I listened to my driver talk about different stories from his past as he drove me to the party. I enjoy learning more things about my driver but it kind of weird that I never learn his name. It would be too embarrassing to ask him now…

After an hour of driving, I finally arrived at the place where the party was happening. The car slowly came to a stop and I spotted many other cars waiting outside the house as well. I took off my seatbelt and made sure my dress was still neat.

  “You can come back in two hours so no need to stay here bored.” I gave my driver the okay to leave while I headed into the party. I have gotten used to staying all the way through a party now, even if I find it simply awful.

  I got a nod from my driver before I fully exited the car. I closed the door gently behind me and headed in. My driver didn’t leave right away and only left when he saw me reach the entrance of the building. I stood outside the door a second and then head in with a completely blank expression on my face.

  When I reached the area where the party was happening all the party guests looked at me. I didn’t pay them any mind as I headed toward the host of the party. I was met halfway by a woman with a polite smile on her face. I didn’t bother to smile at her but instead gave a polite nod.

  “Aurelia, it is so nice you made it here! My daughters are so excited to chat with you.” The woman then motioned to three girls behind her that were looking at me with nervous looks. I knew they were scared of me but I couldn’t have a group of followers just following me out of fear. One day they would stop being afraid and turn on me.

  I walked up to them and I could see them get even closer to each other. When I was a good distance from them I smiled at them. I have been practicing my party smile during my spare time and I have gotten pretty good at it. The girls looked shocked at the smile but they didn’t look that nervous anymore.

  The girls eventually stopped being cautious with me after a few minutes of just speaking together. They let down their guard and talked about random girls' things that I didn’t get. I felt pleased that I managed to get another group of girls to join my followers but I had to be careful not to scare them away.

  After half an hour into the party, I grew slightly irritated with being near this many people so I excuse myself and headed off to the bathroom. As I was walking to the bathroom I noticed there was a second pair of footsteps following me. It didn’t help that they stopped whenever I stopped walking. Not wanting to deal with this anymore I turned around to look at the person who was following me.  To my surprise it was just a servant, they looked nervous as they got closer to me and handed me a letter. After the letter was in my hand they quickly left.

  I looked at the letter that was in my hand and looked to see what was written on it. I felt my interest grow quickly when it mentioned my mom. It was someone who knew my mom well and where she came from. They wanted to meet with me but I had to trust them even if the situation got weird. I couldn’t understand what they meant by weird but I really did want to know more about Aurelia's mom.

  So I changed my destination from the bathroom to the room mentioned in the letter. It took me a while to find it but when I got there I noticed that the door was slightly open already. I didn’t trust that so I headed into the room cautiously. What I saw in the room surprised me, what was all the love interest doing in the same room together.

  “Aurelia! I didn’t know you were at this party as well!” Eli quickly ran up to me, holding up the front of the red dress he was in. It had a layered skirt with a corset about the waist and strap sleeves. It had a big bow behind him. His hair was in a high ponytail which just made him appear even cuter. 

  “I am surprised to learn that you are here also…” I didn’t even notice that he was at the party with me as well. I didn’t even know that any of the love interests were here. But I guess it makes sense seeing as they are princes. 

  I looked at all the other love interests. There were different expressions on their faces as they looked at me. Colton was glaring at me like always, Merrill was looking at me with an excited look (which may or may not have sent a shiver up my back), and  Isaias still had that fake smile on his face but his eyes were not able to hide a sharp look in them. I really was not happy about being in a room with all of them at once.

  “Did you get a letter as well?” Eli tilted his head towards me as he held up a letter to me. It wasn’t like the letter I had but it was telling him to come to this room and talk with someone whose support would be helpful to his kingdom. I looked over to the other guys in the room and saw that they also had a letter in their hand.

  The feeling I had before came back and it was stronger now. Alarms were going off in my head and when I heard the door to the room opening I quickly went on my guard and didn’t relax until I saw who it was. When I saw it was Erik I felt confused, I didn’t even know he was here as well. I saw that he had a letter in his hand as well and the alarms went off once more.

  “Why does everyone in this room have a letter telling them to come here…? This doesn’t seem right at all.” I didn’t like this at all and quickly went to the door that Erik closed when he came into the room. When I grabbed at the doorknob it wouldn’t turn, it was locked.

  “Why aren’t you opening the door, dumbass?” Colton sounded annoyed when he came up behind me and moved me out of the way. He tried to open the door as well and got annoyed when it wouldn’t open for him either.

  I was going to say something else but froze when I saw smoke coming from beneath the door. I quickly got away from the door and covered my mouth. I saw that everyone else copied me when I did that. The air was tense as the room was filled up with smoke and no one tried to move. Eli got really close to me as he shook with his hand covering his mouth.

  The first to pass out was Colton then he was followed by Merrill. I went over to them to make sure they were dead and found out they were only knocked out. The next person to pass out was Eli, who fell against me. I held him with the hand that wasn’t covering my mouth and looked at the other two who were still awake.

  I could feel my vision getting hazy but I forced myself not to pass out. Isaias ended up passing out as well and it was just me with Erik. My vision was getting darker and it was harder to keep my eyes open. I could hear a thump and I realized that Erik passed out. I followed after him and fell to the ground, my hand still resting on Eli. 

  I could hear the door to the room open and footsteps coming in but what happened next is something I don’t know. I really should have trusted the bad feeling… 

  ‘Oh no… Mae won’t be able to give me dinner after all. I’m sorry Mae…’ That was the last thought I had before going into a deep sleep.

Danshi

Volume two start~ Well I am back with writing through Aurelia's eyes and it nice. This volume will be different but I won't say why. Just know that it will be interesting. Aurelia is going to grow as a character but it will be a rather depressing and painful process. Is someone going to die? Is she going to get hurt? I have no idea yet but I do hope you will stick around. Also, just a random question that popped in my head, what do you think Aurelia's greatest fear is? I have been thinking about that for a while and I am stuck. I know many things scare her but don't know if she has a greatest fear. I would like to hear your thoughts.

P.S. I watched When Marnie Was There and the ending song was too right in the feels. Totally check out the song "Fine on the outside"

。o○★ヾ(´ﾟ∀ﾟ`*)Ｍｅｒｒｙ☆ Ｘｍａｓ(*´ﾟ∀ﾟ`)★。o○