With no lesson that afternoon until fifth, Lloyd and Simon found themselves sitting peacefully in a mostly empty common room. It was nice, considering how busy it had been that morning, and with a gentle sigh Lloyd reached over and switched on the radio. Simon pulled a heap of revision books out of his bag and Lloyd was about to do the same, but found his thoughts wandering back to the conversation he'd had with Claudia at lunch time, to how she'd talked about crushes and dating. He'd seen her upset before but this was the first time she'd ever seemed so downright sad, talking about herself like she was made wrong: he didn't quite understand what she meant, but it hurt to see her down.
Unzipping his bag he tried to push his focus onto his English Literature revision, even managing to reach inside and grab his file and books, but his hands came back out empty and went for his phone in his pocket instead. Even then he just stared at the screen for a moment, debating whether he should send a message or not: she'd seemed fine at the end of lunch, but it was obvious the subject was still bothering her.
No, she was in a lesson, he shouldn't risk getting her in trouble. She always forgot to turn her phone on silent, even during school time. He put his phone down and reached into his bag again with determination, and stared at the front cover of his tattered old novel for a good minute in silence before Simon got his attention. "You doing any work or you just fidgeting for the next hour?" he asked, tapping his pen to the edge of his notepad as he watched Lloyd. Having been away for the past two weeks with the passing of his grandmother he'd come back to a whole heft of work, and despite being given a grace period by their English teacher he seemed determined to work through it all now, meaning his mood wasn't exactly the best.
With a small sigh Lloyd picked up his phone again and gave the screen a wistful glance, before resting his folded arms against his knees and staring at the table in front of them. The stains from years of hot drinks on its surface were a sight to behold. "You're pretty smart, right?"
"Uh...?" came Simon's confused reply, but he didn't get much of a chance to say anything more as Lloyd continued.
"Like, you get how people get together. Why people go out and shit."
Still very confused Simon gave his temple a thoughtful itch with his pen, revision work now forgotten. "What, relationships? You're asking me if I know why people get into relationships?"
"I know you know; I'm just making sure you understand what I mean."
"I get what you mean, I just don't know why," he replied, before huffing softly and putting his books and pen down on the table. "What are you trying to ask? What's going on?"
Lloyd cast a wary glance around the room, worried that someone might be listening in on their not so private conversation, before sighing again and running his hands through his hair. "Getting physical and stuff is fun, right? Like, making out and shit. That's a big part of a relationship."
"I mean I guess, yeah. Why?"
Holding his head in his hands Lloyd's expression was stern as he tried to think. "What if someone doesn't like it? Can someone be in a relationship if they don't like that kind of stuff?"
"Wait, what...?" Pinching the bridge of his nose Simon shook his head, more lost than he was before. "Start from the beginning: are you talking about someone specifically, or is this just like a general knowledge thing?"
"Can people be together and not get into physical stuff? That's all I'm asking," Lloyd eventually grumbled, a little embarrassed that he was asking such a question, and that he was asking Simon of all people.
Pausing for a moment to think Simon did eventually manage a shrug, but nodded all the same. "I don't see why not, but I guess it depends? Relationships are more than just physical stuff, but I don't know if it's a proper relationship if there's nothing at all," he explained slowly, and after another short silence he dared to ask "Is this... about Claudia?"
Running a hand through his hair again Lloyd couldn't help but nod bashfully, but the feeling didn't last as he let out another soft sigh. "She was telling me today how she doesn't get it. She doesn't get why people do stuff like that."
"'Stuff like that'?" Simon repeated, a little dumbfounded and especially so when Lloyd nodded. "I know she doesn't like to be touched, but she doesn't like anything like that?" he asked incredulously.
Lloyd nodded forlornly, resting against his knees again with a frown. "She was really down about it. Said she'd noticed she felt stuff differently to other people, or more how she didn't feel stuff. Made her feel like there's something wrong with her."
"She probably just hasn't met the right person--" Simon started, only for Lloyd to cut him off with a shake of the head.
"I don't think that's it. She made it sound like she'd never felt anything like that even when she's kissed other people," he explained, before fixing Simon with a curious look. "You've made out with someone just for fun before, right?"
"Well, sort of..."
"But you know what I mean: just doing it because you want to, not to get together with someone or anything." He checked his phone screen again-- he didn't know why he was checking it so often, he wasn't expecting anything to be different with it. "She said she doesn't even like doing that. Can that even happen? Why would you not like kissing?"
"I don't know. I've never heard of anything like that. It's not exactly normal," Simon replied, before tapping a thoughtful finger to his chin. "Then again, it depends on what normal is. Frank doesn't like girls: he's gay, but it doesn't make him wrong or not normal. It's how he is."
"But not feeling anything?" Lloyd mumbled helplessly.
"Everyone is different. It makes sense that everyone feels stuff differently, too," Simon tried to explain. "You can't control what your favourite colour is, or your favourite food: no two people experience emotions the same either, so I guess it makes sense that it's the same for romantic stuff."
Lloyd sat for a little in thoughtful silence, running Simon's words through his head a few times. He'd never thought about it that way, and the more he did the more he could make headway with it. "Why don't you talk to her about this?" Simon eventually asked, and Lloyd shrugged.
"I don't want to make her uncomfortable," he mumbled, before chuckling softly. "She's so awkward talking about shit like this. She didn't even realise that slide in the wooden park is a hook up spot."
A knowing smile graced Simon's features, and he reached out to pick up his notepad again to get back to revision. "So what are you going to do? I'm guessing you really like her if you're this worried about her lack of sex life."
"It's not like that...!" Lloyd quickly defended, pulling his sleeves down over his hands and fiddling with the loose threads. "Like... I like her. I really do. But this whole topic made her so sad; she's not comfortable with stuff like this, and I don't want to make it worse."
"What if she likes you too, though? I mean she still talked to you about it, even if she doesn't like to. That means something, right?"
Lloyd frowned, folding his arms again as he recalled Claudia's own concerns. "Or it'll be awkward," he mumbled. "What if she doesn't want anything like that at all? She's my friend; I don't want to ruin that."
"If that's all it takes to ruin it, maybe it's not a good friendship," Simon pointed out, and quickly held his hands up in defence when Lloyd shot him a stern look. "I don't mean it like that! What I meant was that if you're good friends she'll hear you out, and however she responds you'll listen too. Good friends respect each other, and the fact you don't want to hurt her feelings already shows that you do."
"Oh, right," Lloyd was quick to backpedal, uttering a soft apology. "I didn't think of it that way... Do you think it'll be ok?"
"Well you seem pretty close, and Claudia's too nice for her own good. Just don't make her do anything she doesn't want to do, and I'm sure you'll be fine," replied Simon, already looking back at his books again.
