P r o l o g u e

When I was young I was always the second best never the champion.

That's why I always do my best in everything and anything but still I would always lose to her smile...

Just her smile makes them fall in complete submission just like how leaves fall she's like the gravity never to lose it's force.

How I wish I was as silly and gullible as her making everyone adore and love her...

How I wish to be dumb and jolly like her letting people fell in love without doing anything...

Its funny that a person like me who excel in many things dreamed to become a person who lacks wittiness, ability and skills.

Maybe its just how nature balance everything like the saying goes "you can't have everything..." it must be it.

Life is so unfair never flows the way you wish it to be, never makes as planned you want it to be.

That's why I always calculate things every bit of information of my enemy and beat them through my strategy, of course in a legal methods I never thought of disobeying the laws.

I love rules, discipline and organization.

I've been doing my best in any kind of ways in arts, studies, sports, talents and even martial arts just to win.

Not to win those things but to win my parents heart but still it's useless.

Sometimes I want to give up already, giving up and rest for a little bit just a little time for myself.

As I grow and struggle of all odds in life I finally meet someone I could love and maybe could love me back.

The only person that completes me the man who understand and tells me my worth and staying by my side.

The one that will finally release me from pain and this endless loneliness in this cruel forsaken world...

After many years, here I am in an occasion full of white gowns with bells as it chimes wonderfully.

People laughing creating a harmonious lullaby and flowers scent everywhere.

Silk so white like clouds and ceiling so high and holly with golden touch to all sides of the rose windows creating a land of heaven.

There at the aisle the priest in white that smiled with wrinkles at the side of his eyes, it tell a story of his long journey in life.

There he is my beloved in white tuxedo grinning from ear to ear with eyes full of love.

His dark eyes resembled the night sky and his smile like that of a sun it brightens the room.

A soft music echoing the room and then the double door of the church suddenly opens as the light comes in with the bride holding a flower as red as a blood with golden and silver ribbons around it.

The bride walks gracefully, and as I always pray I was her just like the old times when I wish to be her even just for a day.

My sister wearing a vail her white gown dances left and right as she walks slowly waiting to be in the arms of the man I deeply loved.

It hurts...

The pain kills me...

I just couldn't hold my tears to flow on my cheeks as I walk away from everything as I walk away from them, him and her, my parents and everyone.

I just want to feel and be at peace to be away and never turns back again.

We were born on the same year on the same date on the same womb and family.

However the love we gets are different, she got so much while I gain so less.

I tried my best to be number one in everything, while she was worst in many things.

I achieved higher degree and a successful business, and then I became a dragon in my field even though I came from a middle class family I soar high to become one of the richest and powerful women in the world, but yet she never even finished her degree.

I even sponsored their wedding...

I drove faster as I drive my car so fast as if lighting, laughing like a villain.

Maybe this is my story a story of a villain that will never gain love from the others.

I will walk my path alone with my empty heart and broken soul.

I drive as I drive and blindly go on further with my eyes glitters with tears...

Suddenly my phone rings and I pick it up not slowing down and carelessly not looking at the road.

Luckily the highways are isolated because the church we choose the wedding to be held is somewhere far from the city with trees everywhere.

"hello?"

"Chairman, the people from Idleson's Corporation is here they demand for the late shipment of the supplies."

"Let Mr.Miller handle them."

"But they want you..."

"I'm in a very important meeting today tell Mr.Idleson that I apologize and will compensate them with the delay." she said with low voice and hang up immediately.

She then again looked at the road however all she saw was the sky and the beautiful sunset.

The orange sky and deep blue ocean and the fluffy clouds floating with the wind.

"beautiful..." she silently said as she recalled how she wasted her time to pleasure others not letting herself enjoy and do what she wants.

I don't understand why.

I don't know what happened.

I only felt like falling, am I falling in a cliff? And then a splash of water I hit my head then my head starts to hurt so bad.

My body feels so numb.

Water slowly starts entering my tightly closed car.

With this pain and dizzy mind I know I'm already dying, maybe this is my fateful death full of sorrow and regrets.

As I feel my soul fades and memories flash backs again and again there are things I want to imprint in my heart...

The reason why I'm full of regret is that I never felt love even for myself...

I swore that if I was given a chance to live...

I will love myself...

Live for myself...

And be happy without regrets...

As the air grow less
and my breathing stops,
I'm finally kissed by death...