The road - such as it was - had descended from the high altitudes previously controlled by Mahrak to pass through a forested valley. At the end of the valley, they passed a statue of a man wearing a crown and holding a sword above his head. McKenzie had decided not to think too deeply about why he could apparently read the local alphabet and converse with people here, because a) there didn't seem much point and b) he didn't want to break it by prodding it to see how it worked. At any rate, the inscription on the statue read:

"You look now upon the glories of the Vyrinian Empire. Enter in peace - or find death," he read.

There was a chicken coop built up against the statue - it's inhabitants used the plinth as a combined perch/toilet, which didn't add to it's prestige. Behind it was a scattering of huts. A tired-looking man in rusty chainmail leaned on a wooden pole, which swung upwards with a creak. A scrawny dog came out of a hut and barked at them until it noticed that Leni - who was getting hungry - was eyeing it thoughtfully: it disappeared back inside with its tail between its legs. Thus were they admitted to the Greater Eastern Vyrinian Empire.

"The border seems kinda sketchily policed," McKenzie commented.

Danandra snorted. "The Empire is falling apart - has been for decades. There used to be only one Vyrinian Empire, until the last remaining royal pulled a disappearing act - or was simply killed, no-one knows which. Now it's in several different pieces, one or more of which are at war with one or more of the others at any given time. Don't hold your breath waiting to behold any imperial glories."

"I won't. S'getting near to dark - we planning on stopping in this, um, shithole?"

Danandra and Cally looked at Leni, whose pace had noticeably slowed as she saw a young woman doing her laundry by the town's stream/sewer/water supply.

"No, " they both said at once.

"Let's carry on for a couple of miles and camp by the roadside," Cally suggested.

"Good idea," Danandra agreed.

"Fine by me," McKenzie said. "I wouldn't crimp off a length in this place, let alone eat and sleep 'ere."

"You really do have a singularly unpleasant turn of phrase sometimes, do you know that?" Danandra said waspishly, her mood not having been improved by the day's journey. It was also not made any better by the thought that with a hungry troll for a camping companion, either Cally or herself - or both - stood a fairly good chance of going to sleep by the fire but waking up in Leni. Somehow she doubted that Leni would try it on with McKenzie, even in the midst of hunger-driven desperation.

In the end, it turned out to not be a problem. They dismounted near a small stream, and led their horses off the road as it started to get dark. Leni gathered a double armful of wood, which Danandra ignited with a pointed finger and a muttered word of magic. Leni stared moodily into the fire.

McKenzie tried to follow the others' example and tend to his pony - a task he recalled he'd never liked - but by the time he'd managed to get the saddle off it, he'd earned five bitten fingers and two kicks to add to the sore arse it had gifted him with from a day of riding.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," Leni complained.

McKenzie snorted and rubbed his bitten fingers. "Hah - you're welcome to this one if you want it."

Danandra and Cally had barely opened their mouths to shout 'no!' before Leni was on her feet with a wide grin. "Really? Thanks!" She beamed - and then ate the horse.

McKenzie wouldn't forget it in a hurry, even though it happened very quickly. One second the pony was standing there, staring balefully at him. The next, Leni strode over, there was a terrified whinny and then...no more pony.

McKenzie sat down hard, his own mouth agape almost as much as hers had been.

"Holy fuckin' shit!" McKenzie exclaimed in shock. "You just et a fuckin' horse!"

"Yeah. Wasn't bad, for a horse. Thanks again," Leni smiled, then belched. The sound was overlaid with what sounded unsettlingly like whinnying.

"What the fuck! It's a fuckin' expression. A turn of phrase. You don't eat the actual horse," McKenzie said, then looked to Cally and Danandra. "You coulda fucking mentioned!"

"Ah, um-" Cally started.

"Well, he didn't throw up," Danandra commented. "Most people throw up first time."

"She eat people too?" McKenzie demanded.

"Well I'm hardly going to live on livestock all the time!" Leni protested. "What kind of an existence is that?"

"That'd be a yes, then," McKenzie said, aghast.

"She can't hurt you," Cally hurried to interject. "Remember Lord Lemuel's curse that-"

"The word, Cally, is won't," McKenzie said, getting purposefully to his feet. "As in won't get the chance, Leni. You find yourself gettin' hungry round me, you remember what happened to Mahrak."

Leni grinned. "Seriously, McKenzie, I wouldn't-"

"She might," Danandra said quietly, although everyone heard.

"The thing with the curse," Leni said, "is that it applies to all of us. I can't hurt you, you can't hurt me, so why don't we all-"

"You wanna lay some odds on whether the curse covers this?" McKenzie asked, and sparks started flashing between his fingers. He held his arms away from his body - electricity arced between his chest and arms. "I can't control it. Could this poxy little curse? I'm told it's dangerous."

"It is dangerous!" Cally said, raising an arm in a calming gesture. "McKenzie, please, I'm sorry we didn't tell you but-"

Leni was backing away. Danandra, on the other hand, looked fascinated.

"The fabled quintessence! Unleash it!" She said softly, walking towards him slowly: and with a pronounced sway to her hips that was not usually there. "Power is there to be used - used hard, and...enjoyed."

She ran a finger down his arm - sparks jumped from him to her. Danandra gasped and gave vent to a quiet, low sound of delight.

McKenzie shut off the flow of power. Danandra jerked her hand back and blushed bright red.

"Erm, excuse me," she said, backing away.

"What the fuck is it with you three?" McKenzie asked, and then addressed Danandra. "What the hell was that about?"

"Nothing," Danandra said.

Leni snorted in laughter. Cally opened her mouth to say something, but then didn't.

"Nothin'?" McKenzie prompted.

Danandra frowned, set her lips in a firm line, and then exhaled hard in irritation. "Look, it's not my fault. I find-, I mean, - look, I get, erm, romantically encouraged by magic, okay?"

"Bullshit," McKenzie said. "Also that's a really pretentious way of saying 'turned on'."

Danandra scowled.

"It's true," Leni laughed. "All it takes is the slightest whiff of magic and our girl here starts shedding clothes and inhibitions in equal measure."

"It takes a bit more than a whiff!" Danandra snapped, eyes flashing. "It only happens in the presence of very strong magical fields. It's a very rare affliction."

"Affliction!" Leni laughed. "I think you'll find the term is fetish, Danandra."

"Oh-kay," McKenzie said. "Given your feti-, particular lifestyle conditions, was it maybe such a good idea to do it as a job?"

"It doesn't apply to my own magic. That would just be weird," Danandra stated haughtily.

"Oh well that's just fine then," McKenzie sighed. "Whatever. Can everyone just knock it the fuck off with being strange for an hour. Just one fuckin' hour. That's all I ask. One hour. I'm goin' for a slash. Everyone better've stopped bein' odd by the time I get back."

He walked off, and found that he was able to disappear off into the encroaching dark without any curse-based interference. Come to think of it, it hadn't really kicked in last night, either. Evidently it didn't apply if you were planning on coming back again. He watered the plants by the side of the road, zipped up, washed his hands in the stream and wandered back. Danandra and Cally were tending to their horses. Leni had set up a tripod and a cookpot over the fire.

"I'm doing stew," she said. "Want some?"

McKenzie narrowed his eyes. "What's in it?" He asked.

"Rabbit. Vegetables. Water," Leni replied. "It's for you three, not me."

"In that case, yes," McKenzie said.

The rest of the evening passed without incident, and especially it went by without anyone being eaten. Danandra and Leni agreed not to volunteer information about the quintessence, although Danandra would not be drawn into a conversation about it - she just echoed Cally's advice to not use it. Hardly surprising, from her.

The night wasn't especially cold, now that they had shed some altitude, so they slept in blankets on the ground. McKenzie looked up at the stars - there were no familiar constellations to be seen - and it hit him. He really had been teleported across the galaxy. He really had been condemned to the company of two extremely odd women and a monster. His only way out really was Lemuel.

"Fuck," he muttered, before going to sleep.

- o O o -

McKenzie - who had never been a reliable waker-upper - was nudged out of sleep by Danandra's booted foot.

"Rise and shine," she said.

McKenzie didn't say 'Fuck off and die', but only with an effort. There was porridge. McKenzie had never been a fan, but ate some anyway.

The three women had a military-like efficiency in striking camp, McKenzie had to admit. They were all packed up and ready to go in just a few minutes. He rubbed his chin, which was becoming a bit stubbly, and bemoaned the lack of a razor. There was toothpaste, which was a relief - it came in the form of a nondescript grey powder that left you feeling as if you'd just been punched in the mouth by a minty gorilla. "This might seem odd to you, but we use this to stop our teeth from going bad", Cally had explained, as if to a slow child.

"I suppose you had better ride behind me," Danandra said in a martyred tone. "I'm the lightest."

"Nuh-huh," McKenzie said. "I am so done with riding."

"How are you planning on keeping up, then?" Danandra asked.

"You'll see," McKenzie said, just to be infuriating.

Danandra shot him a glare, but said nothing. They mounted up and got moving a few moments later, Leni jogging after.

McKenzie watched them go, slung his bag over his back and tightened the strap firmly, then started running.

It was a useful side benefit of having - well, no point in mixing words - super strength. McKenzie weighed no more than the average bloke, but he was one hell of a lot stronger. This wasn't just good for kicking arse and robbing banks - it also meant you could run very quickly and jump very high. Unfortunately, McKenzie had never really got the hang of doing this at high speed - if he tried it in a city he usually spent so much time bouncing off buildings and buses that he might aswell have just taken a cab.

It was, however, dead handy on roads which were at least generally long, flat and straight. McKenzie shot past the three women with a few long, fast bounding strides that carried him ten or twenty metres at a time, and before long was a small figure in the distance.

"You know, I think our newest recruit might have just a slight proclivity towards showing off," Cally remarked.

"You don't say," Danandra replied.

"Useful sort of bloke, though," Leni commented. "I wonder how he knows the boss man. He tell you, Cal?"

Cally shook her head. "No. They've obviously known each other for a long time, though: you don't build up that much hate overnight."

"I don't know," Danandra said. "I only met him two years back and I already despise him as much as McKenzie does."

"You start despising people the minute you meet 'em, though - you give people a head start that way, really," Leni commented.

Danandra shrugged. "People are generally pretty despicable. Our glorious leader has managed to make me despise him even more than you have, which is saying something."

Leni just laughed. Cally said nothing. It seemed pretty pointless to say something like 'it's for our own good' or 'it's not such a bad curse'. The other two felt the restrictions much more keenly than she did: she was almost glad of the curse, for her own reasons.

Danandra's next comment came as if she'd been reading her mind: "Can we expect a changeover any time soon, Cally?"

Cally nodded. "Probably tomorrow. Maybe tonight. I'm weak."

"Oh, cool!" Leni said. "Shar's always good for a giggle."

Cally shot Leni a weary look. Leni had the grace to look ashamed. "Sorry. I know you, um, don't get on."

"We should tell McKenzie what to expect," Danandra said. "I don't think he's really in the mood for any further surprises."

"He'll live," Leni shrugged.

"I'm not sure he will, if he gets angry and lashes out again," Danandra said. "Quintessence is wild, unstructured, magical energy. I have no idea, absolutely no idea, what might happen if he unleashes all of that raw, rushing, burning-" Danandra's cheeks grew red and she bit her lip. "Damn it!"

"Go on, say 'throbbing'. You were totally going to," Leni laughed.

"I was not!" Danandra told her. "You have no idea how embarrassing this is for me. The point is that we don't know what might happen."

"I can take a pretty good guess at one thing that'd definitely happen," Leni said in a snide murmur, which, since she was a troll, was clearly audible for several metres.

"Enough!" Danandra snapped.

"Danandra's right - I'll tell him when we catch up," Cally said.

It took a good long while to catch up, though - the sun had reached it's peak and had begun its downwards progress towards the horizon before they found McKenzie in a village that had accreted around a crossroads. He had purchased wine and was lounging in the yard of a reasonably clean-looking inn - a further three goblets were placed on his table in readiness.

"Afternoon girls," he greeted them. "Would you care for some trulyfuckingawful wine? I took the liberty of ordering in advance - not difficult, since the only thing on the menu here is hopefully-chicken with rice. I don't think they do live horses or cows, Leni, sorry," McKenzie said as he poured.

"I won't need to eat again for a few days," Leni said, lifting her goblet between thumb and forefinger.

"I'm sure the local farming community will be thrilled to hear it," McKenzie said.

"How long have you been here, then?" Danandra asked. The women sat down on the benches by the table - Leni used the neigbouring table as a seat, which creaked alarmingly.

"'Bout an hour by my watch, which is utterly meaningless as I don't know if you guys even do hours or, if you do, if they're even remotely the same length. Didn't want to go too fast because, well, frankly because if I do it's hard to stop without hitting summat - also, I got no idea where we're goin'," McKenzie said.

"Trerasa," Cally supplied.

"Yeah, the name of the place I can remember. Doesn't help me know where the hell it's at. I'm assuming downhill, but then again pretty much everywhere is downhill from where we've been," McKenzie said.

"Why would you assume that?" Danandra asked.

"Because it's a port," McKenzie answered. "Needs water, which you tend to find at the bottom of terrain rather than on the top, or at least not for very long."

"Oh, I suppose, yes." Danandra said, somewhat more non-committally than you would ordinarily expect someone to agree that a port needed to be near some water.

The food was brought out by a teenaged serving girl and set down on the table.

"Hmm," Leni remarked, completely not about the wooden plates of what was hopefully chicken and rice, with chunky, crudely carved wooden knives and forks. "That looks tasty."

The girl shot her a wide-eyed look of fear and disappeared back inside.

"Thought you said you weren't hungry," McKenzie said darkly.

"I said I didn't need to eat for a while," Leni corrected him. "You only eat when you're hungry? No - you see somethin' you wanna eat, you eat it. Same for me."

"Chowing down on the help is not exactly the same thing as deciding to have a cup of tea and a biscuit for elevenses," McKenzie said. "Know what? New deal. You don't talk like that when I'm around, and I won't hit you with a fucking tree trunk. Do we have an understanding?"

Cally and Danandra looked between Leni, whose expression had become flat and frozen, and McKenzie's, which was expectant, polite and really quite chilling.

"The curse won't-" Leni began.

"Fuck the curse," McKenzie said. "I'm willing to bet that a tree between the eyes is still gonna hurt like a motherfucker even if it doesn't do any damage. Do we have an understanding?"

"Nobody talks to me like that and-" Leni started again.

"Do we have a fuckin' understanding, Leni? I can go get a tree right now. Do you get what I'm sayin' to you here?" McKenzie said.

"Leni, McKenzie!" Cally interceded. "Both of you! In the interests of this group not being a travelling argument but four people who may actually manage to get along reasonably well under difficult circumstances, will you both agree not to hit each other with trees or act threateningly, and yes, Leni, it is threatening to talk that way. We're supposed to be the good guys. Will both of you at least try to act the part?"

"Fine," McKenzie said.

"Fine," Leni said.

There was a moment's silence.

"More wine?" McKenzie lifted the bottle and held it over Leni's goblet.

"Thank you," she said, and that was that for the time being. They started to eat their lunch - it wasn't bad, and probably was chicken. Leni picked up the wooden plate of food in one hand, examined it, sniffed it, and then put the entire thing in her mouth. She chewed for a moment, crunching up the plate and cutlery, then swallowed.

"Meh," she commented.

"Trerasa," McKenzie hinted, to move the conversation past the ensuing silence.

"Oh, yes. It has a river, yes, but its main importance is as a port. It handles most of the merchant traffic in this section of the empire. Lemuel has despatched a ship there to take us to the capital of what used to be the southern empire, Melindron," Cally said.

"Along the river to the sea, presumably. I get it. Which road?" McKenzie asked. Cally pointed. He nodded.

"I take it you're planning on going on ahead again?" Cally asked.

"Yep. Might even press on all the way to this tray-arser place, sleep in a proper bed tonight, have a lie in tomorrow," McKenzie said.

Cally drew in a breath and swallowed. "In that case, I may not see you again for a while," she said.

"Oh," McKenzie said. "Are you off somewhere?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Cally said. "My sister will be here in my place. She is also under the curse, of course. However, I'll be gone for a while, and my sister will be here. It's...necessary."

McKenzie looked at her blankly, then turned to Danandra.

"Right, this is going to be another weird thing. That's understood. I've noted that you tend to speak directly - please explain in a few pointed words what the hell she's on about. Be as patronising as you want, by the way, I couldn't care less."

"Cally has a sister called Sharinta. One sister - Cally - became a cleric of light. The other sister became a dark one. Well, sort of dark. Grey. Anyway, they argued, fought, a big magical battle ensues. There was a big bang and a flash, now they share the same physical space. If Cally gets too weak, Sharinta takes over. If Sharinta gets too weak, Cally comes back. It's not complicated," Danandra shrugged.

"That's your definition of not complicated? Fine. Whatever. I'll deal. Thanks for not springing that one on me. There any other surprises around the corner? You gonna start breathing fire?" McKenzie addressed Leni.

"Not anytime soon," Leni replied. "Are you?"

"So how's it work?" McKenzie said, ignoring that. "Hey, hang on, that was Sharinta I heard swearing yesterday when you went all vague, wasn't it?"

"Swearing certainly sounds like her," Danandra said.

"It was," Cally confirmed. "The battle with Mahrak has left me gravely drained. Today or tomorrow, she'll be here."

"I should expect what, another big flash and a bang?" McKenzie asked.

"No." Cally shook her head. "Usually you'll hear her crowing in triumph, you'll look up, I'll be gone and she'll be there."

"So this is like a multiple personalities deal with occult extras?"

"No, it's a matter of multiple bodies. The change isn't just mental, it's-" Cally stopped. "You'll see soon enough. There's no danger - for you."

"Yeah, and Shar's fun!" Leni interjected brightly. "Oh - sorry again, Cally. Not that you're not, but-"

"Leave it, Leni," Danandra advised softly. Leni listened, and, for once, did.

"Okay, well then. I'll travel along with you three," McKenzie said. "I'll jog."

- o O o -

Jog he did. At a moderate pace which he could maintain for a week, if necessary, McKenzie was able to keep up with the horses and Leni's easy, loping pace.

They stopped for the night in a small town. Leni received a number of hostile stares at the inn they chose, which was hardly surprising, but was not chased out of town by a torch-bearing mob, which was.

"Well, it does happen," Leni said. "Not as much as you'd think though, as long as you, y'know, behave. At least where people can see."

McKenzie could guess what she meant.

Cally had been looking increasingly haunted all day, and had sat her horse listlessly. She dismounted only with help, and could barely stand. McKenzie picked her up and carried her inside - she weighed almost nothing, it seemed, and he was convinced that he could see the bones in her arms through skin gone nearly translucent.

Danandra took care of the negotiations with the innkeeper, who sensed they were in a hurry and bargained meanly for the rooms. They then had to wait for the chambermaid to show them where they were.

"You alright?" McKenzie asked Cally.

"Not especially," she replied in a whisper.

"Fair enough answer," McKenzie told her. She might have smiled. "Is she, um, on her way?"

"Yes," Cally replied.

"When they get like this, it could happen at any time. Could be before I finish this sentence, could be some hours yet," Danandra said.

"Hold on. We'll get you to a bed an' you can rest," McKenzie said.

"It won't help. She's coming. Nothing can stop that now," Cally said.

Damn fuckin' straight, sis. McKenzie almost - almost - heard. My turn for a while.

"How long will, um, how long will she be here and you won't be?" McKenzie asked.

"I don't know. Sometimes days, sometimes weeks, sometimes months," she replied, eyes closed.

"Where will you go?" McKenzie asked.

"Nowhere, everywhere - I do not remember from one time to the next."

"Cally, try not to talk," Danandra said, shooting a quelling glare at McKenzie.

The chambermaid finally arrived, and, at a snail's pace, led McKenzie upstairs to a small room.

"She sick?" The chambermaid asked, before opening the door to the room.

"No," McKenzie replied flatly.

"She looks sick. We don't want no sickness here," the maid said.

"Thank you ever so much for that fascinating observation, and also for providing some valuable insight into your establishment's policy vis-a-vis the health of your guests. Now open the fucking door then piss off," McKenzie told her flatly. The chambermaid shot him a startled look, unlocked the door, and fled. Danandra gave vent to a small sound of amused approval.

"We'll, er, be around," Leni said. "See you, y'know, later Cally."

"I'll be back in a few moments," Danandra said. "I must see to the horses."

McKenzie nodded. He shoved the door open with a knee and pushed it shut behind him, and started to lay Cally down on the bed.

"Here. You can rest, get some peace and qui-" he started to say.

"No," Cally replied. "Please. Don't put me down. Don't leave me alone. Could you just hold me? Just for a minute?"

She sounded so weak and lost that McKenzie couldn't find it in himself to refuse, so he stood there, wondering what the fuck to do or say. 'I'll see you when you get back' didn't seem to cover it.

"Um, well, thank you for, er, not being quite as hostile or scary as everyone else I've met since I arrived," McKenzie said. "I know it's only been two days but if you hadn't been around they'd've probably been even more fucked up than they already have been."

"You're welcome," Cally whispered.

"Does it hurt?" McKenzie asked.

Cally shook her head fractionally. "No. I'm just so tired."

"Does it make any difference if you're awake or asleep?"

Cally shook her head again.

"Get some rest then," McKenzie advised.

"Please stay."

"I won't leave you alone," McKenzie reassured her.

"Thank you," Cally said, then yawned, and looked him in the eyes: "I wish I'd had longer to-"

She didn't get to complete the sentence. She stopped speaking, inhaled sharply, closed her eyes, and then - right there in his arms - changed into a completely different woman.

There was no attendant sound, no flash, not even a gentle magical glow. McKenzie felt her weight increase suddenly, and her form move and expand. He saw her hair turn black and wavy, and her colouration changed from Cally's pale, drained translucence to a dark and even tan. Her clothing changed from Cally's white silken robes to soft black leather, and then she let out the breath that Cally had drawn.

Sharinta opened her eyes - they were very dark green.

"Well hello handsome," she said, and her lips (full, where Cally's had been thin and drawn) broke into a mischievous smile as she took in her position. "The bad news is that the woman you were presumably about to throw down onto this bed and ravish isn't coming back anytime soon. The good news is that I'm much dirtier than her and totally up for it. Let's go."

McKenzie would be lying to himself if he said he didn't give that a moment's consideration. Sharinta, it turned out, was insanely hot - but it was just a passing thought.

"You'd be Sharinta then," McKenzie said, setting her down on her feet. She was shorter than her sister, by a good three inches or so. "And it wasn't like that."

"Yes, once again, thank fuck, I am Sharinta," Sharinta said. "And you are..?"

"McKenzie," McKenzie said.

Sharinta's gleeful expression slipped for a moment. "How was she?" She asked.

McKenzie didn't need to ask who. "Alright, I think. Tired," he said.

"She won't be now," Sharinta said. "Anyway, is there an elfmaid - shorter than me, pretty, red hair, usually dresses in black - or a, well, troll, basically, around? I need to talk to them."

"Danandra's on her way back up - she's sorting the horses out. Leni's buggered off somewhere," McKenzie said.

"Oh, so you're with us? I sort of thought you might be when you didn't freak the fuck out when we switched places - which was nice, by the way, you have no idea how off-putting it is to turn up in the middle of a group of people shrieking in terrified surprise. Cursed?" Sharinta asked.

"Yep," McKenzie replied.

"Oh, bad luck. Deeply fucking tiresome, but you get used to it. Might I ask where the fuck we are?"

Sharinta's accent was that of a finishing school graduate who'd been taking extra elocution lessons from Samuel L Jackson, all delivered in a low, feline purr. She had charisma and charm, and lots of it - McKenzie had only exchanged a few words with her and he was already starting to wistfully regret not finding out if she was serious about the whole ravishing thing. Ah well, such was life.

"Some fucking town on the way to Tree-rarser, someplace like that," McKenzie answered. "On our way back from, dunno, never did find out the name of the place. Just killed some bloke called Mahrak."

"Holy fuck!" Sharinta exclaimed. "We killed Mahrak the Undying?"

"We would be stretching it a bit. More me, really," McKenzie told her.

Sharinta ignored the distinction. "Go us! Is everyone all right?"

"Yeah, no-one got their souls sucked out their eyeballs or turned into an occasional table." McKenzie shrugged. "Um, you want a drink, or something to eat, or anything? I've never actually been a split personality, so I dunno if it's like waking up after a really long sleep or coming to after an anaesthetic or what."

"I'm so hungry I could eat a fucking horse," Sharinta said.

"Don't," McKenzie winced.

"Leni ate one, I take it?" Sharinta asked.

"Yeah," McKenzie said.

"You actually get used to it after the first few times," Sharinta said.

"I'll take your word for it," McKenzie said.

There was a knock on the door. "McKenzie? Cally?"

"You're halfway right," Sharinta said.

"Shar!" Danandra said, flinging the door wide. "You're back!"

"Hey Danna!"

The two women embraced. "So, how the fuck are you?"

"Fine. We managed to kill Mahrak."

"Oh, we did, did we?" McKenzie muttered, but was ignored.

"I heard! Good for you. Ugly fucker had it coming. Where's Leni?"

"Downstairs, ordering food. People tend to serve her quickly in case she eats them instead in the meantime."

"Fantastic - let's go eat, get drunk, then start a fight. I've been so fucking bored."

- o O o -

Three things about Sharinta.

She swore. A lot. More even than McKenzie, who'd been known to be a bit intemperate in his language from time to time.

She drank. A lot. McKenzie wasn't famed for his sobriety, either, but she was knocking back significantly more than he was. This led to increased swearing and seemed to cut down the delay and/or filtering that happened between her brain and her mouth. Again, McKenzie had a reputation for bluntness in certain quarters, but Sharinta beat him hands down on this, too.

Finally, she drew the eye. Sharinta stood out, and not just because she was stunning to look at and oozed sensuality like a leaking, slightly drunk nuclear reactor. Everyone noticed Sharinta. She seemed slightly more in focus than the rest of the room.

Despite this, step 3 of Sharinta's plan for the evening did not materialise - probably due to Leni's hulking presence.

"So what are you in for?" Sharinta asked McKenzie.

"Come again?" McKenzie asked.

"Why did our mutual lord and fucking master curse you?" Sharinta reiterated.

"He hasn't said," Danandra answered for him. "He had such an interesting conversation with him though, you should have heard. He hates him and it sounds like he knows him."

"We all know him, Danna," Sharinta said - McKenzie noted that she alone used a familiar version of Danandra's name. "Let our man here answer," she looked back to McKenzie.

"We go back a long ways. Used to work for him. Decided I didn't want to any more, cut loose, long story short, whoosh, wound up here." McKenzie shrugged.

"That's not much of a fucking answer," Sharinta pointed out.

"About the same as I've had from anyone here," McKenzie said.

"Fair enough - I'll go first," Sharinta said. "I'm a cleric of the dark, well, sort of dark. Grey. I used my not inconsiderably awesome powers to steal, cause chaos and generally have, y'know, fun. Sister dearest, who's a cleric of the light, well, sort of light, she's kinda-"

"Light grey? Beige? Magnolia?" McKenzie supplied.

"Don't interrupt. Fucking cheek. Anyway, my sister, who, like you say you used to, worked for the big boss at the time, decides I should be back on the straight and narrow. Long story short - good fucking turn of phase, that, by the way - she just won't fucking leave it alone, we have this huge catfight in some fucking ravine somewhere, we're both of us cutting loose with enough thaumatoclerical bitchery to give Danna here ten top-drawer orgasms in a row-"

"Shar!" Danandra protested. Leni laughed.

"Sorry, Danna. So, big fight, unexpected magical fuck-up zaps us both into the same body. Turns out it's my turn first - I just think I've killed my sister so I went right off the fucking wagon track for a good few weeks, suddenly I've lost five months and I wake up one morning with these two peering down at me all like 'oh, so you're Sharinta'. Our boss has put Cally an' me under his wussy-arse curse for her own safety. Right - your turn - go." Sharinta slammed back the glass of spirits she was drinking and looked at him expectantly.

"Alright - but bear in mind I'm not from the same fucking planet as you, even, so no fucking interruptions to say 'what's electricity?' or some other lame question," McKenzie said, ratcheting up the f-words so as not to feel outdone.

"Fine," Sharinta said.

"Few years ago, back on Earth, I start to get the idea that I'm not like other people. This-" McKenzie snapped his fingers, causing a few sparks to flash into being and Danandra to gasp softly then blush, "-is new, but it dawns on me one day that I'm like sixty or summat an' I'm not gettin' any older, plus it's a lot easier for me to, y'know, lift stuff or whatever than it was for other guys. Didn't really know what the hell I should do about it, plus at the time the world was a bit more religious than it is now so I'm all 'why God why' and how the hell do I explain it to the wife?"

"You're married?" Danandra asked. "So that's who this 'Christine' is."

"Wrong. I was married. Been married several times, as it happens, just not right now, and never any kids, which is why I said to you, well, not you you, your sister you, anyway: irrelevant. So society at the time was-"

"Wait, how often is several times?" Sharinta asked.

"I forget. A few. I'm getting on a bit."

"A few, he says. You dog!" Sharinta grinned. "What was your wife's name? The one in the story right now who you're about to fucking leave," she asked.

"Why the hell is that relevant, and how the hell would you know what I'm about to say next?" McKenzie retorted.

"Call it woman's intuition," Sharinta shrugged.

"She was called Nell," McKenzie growled, because Sharinta was right. "I left to keep her safe."

"Fucking knew it," Sharinta said.

"Whatever. As I was about to go on and say, where and when I lived it seemed likely that if my difference came to light, then we'd probably both end up being burnt at the stake."

"I've had that before, it's very tiresome," Danandra commented.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't the kind of time and place where they assign you a social worker to help you work out your superpower issues. Nell was a bit younger than me - young enough to remarry and have kids, which she never stopped going on about. The innkeeper was unmarried, closer to her age, nice bloke, by the standards of the time, always looking at her - seemed obvious what was to happen if I was to up and fuck off. Then civil war breaks out. Perfect excuse. I take him aside and ask him to look after Nell if I should get killed, give her a speech about how the king must be stopped, parliament needs soldiers, blah de fucking blah, innkeeper will look out for you. I volunteered, got shot, hurt like hell but didn't do a damn thing, which was news to me and a big relief at the time, I can tell you. We won, whoop-de-fucking-do, and I arrange to have a letter sent back home to the innkeeper - who could read a bit - saying I'd been killed." McKenzie paused to drink.

"Well?" Sharinta and Danandra asked at the same time.

"Well what?"

"Did Nell marry the innkeeper? Were they happy? Did they start a family?" Danandra asked.

McKenzie shrugged. "No idea. I assume so - never went back."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sharinta sighed.

"You wanted my background with Lemuel, not an interesting romantic sub-plot," McKenzie said. "So for a few years I'm basically bumming around under a bunch of different names, having fun, going interesting places, doing stuff-"

"And getting married multiple times," Danandra commented.

"Well, yeah." McKenzie shrugged. "It just seemed to happen at the time. After a while, though, I start to get a bit fucked off with the whole thing. I got obsessed with the idea that there had to be a fuckin' reason why I was the way I was - pathetically naive, with hindsight, but anyway. Enter Lemuel, who's spent like forever looking for me and is convinced that I'm important in some fucking way to the Lemuel Master Plan for Everything Everywhere Ever. You're not the only one out there who can do odd things, he says. Turns out he's right - there's others. I gave it a few years, decided around the mid-90s that being a good guy was kinda pointless but stuck it out for another decade or so, then this girl joins the team," McKenzie explained.

"So obviously you got married," Danandra said.

"What is your issue with that? No, we didn't get married - this is only a few years ago now - social conventions were different. So Christine joins the team - she can move things with her mind, by the way, which is a big deal where I'm from - and after a bit of faffing about we end up going out. That lasts for a little while but not very long, 'cos frankly we're very different people, I'm a bit older, and, y'know, you can tell when it's not gonna work out long term."

"Or the man gets bored and decides to leave," Danandra pointed out coldly.

"Fuck's sake, take my side why don't'cha?" McKenzie commented. "If you must know, it actually ended ended when she nipped off with a bartender at a new year's party, so ner ner ne fucking ner to you, Miss Confrontational." He paused. "I don't seem to have much luck with women when bar workers get involved. Anyways, that nailed that shut pretty effectively, which was the last reason I was still hanging around with Lemuel's team, so I split. Went freelance - did something monumentally stupid - " McKenzie winced, "and then put my talents to better use by, well, going on the rob, really, and doing some things for a lot of money that only I could do. I was right on the cusp of having a break and going on a nice long holiday when all this happened. I was doing a bank job, Christine turns up in the middle of it, we have a fight - not a proper fight or a relationship fight, even, just she wanted me to keep still and I wasn't going to. No actual harm done either side, before Danandra accuses me of being an abusive ex. She zaps me with some gadget that fucking Lemuel's given her, whoosh, flash, hello Mahrak. That's me," McKenzie finished.

"I hardly understood a fucking word of that," Sharinta said.

"I missed the bit where that was my problem," McKenzie retorted. "You wanted backstory, you got it. Figure out the long words on your own time."

"Ooh, who put a bitchy-bitch spell on you?" Sharinta came back, and then laughed. "Thank you, anyway."

"Danandra - care to reciprocate?" McKenzie said.

Danandra shrugged. "Wanted to take over the world. Didn't work. Unleashed a demon by mistake. Lemuel put it back but cursed me."

"That's it?" McKenzie said. "Seems kinda sparse on detail."

"I missed the bit where that was my problem," Danandra shot his own words back at him..

"Whatevs," McKenzie replied. "Leni?"

Leni drained a tankard of ale, which looked like a shot glass in her hand, and belched out a complicated smell of semi-digested horse and beer. Everyone winced. "'Scuse me. I ate the Queen of Mirchania, on the instructions of her daughter the Princess who wanted to inherit early. Then I ate the Princess when she wouldn't pay. They were both nasty pieces of work, but bad girls always taste the best. The kingdom, well, republic, by this point, of Mirchania was going to have me executed, but instead Lemuel appears and here I am. You asked, before you start going gettin' all defensive and tree-clubby."

"Yeah, well, I wish I hadn't," McKenzie said. "If we're all done bonding, I'm off to bed. I'll be fucking furious if I get woken up before morning, by the way, so if you start your fight, you're on your own. Night."

With that, he left the table.

- o O o -

The fight did not materialise in the night and McKenzie was awoken by the innkeeper pounding on his door because he wanted to clean the room. After shouting at him to fuck off, he availed himself of some hot water and soap, and then took up station in the common room. He had to wait a full hour for a satisfied looking Sharinta to make her appearance. She descended the rough wooden steps as if they were a grand staircase, crossed the dirty, sawdust-covered floor as if it was a catwalk, and came to a graceful stop, one hand on her hip, in front of McKenzie's table. She had produced, from somewhere, a long black coat, trimmed with fur from a number of unfortunate small animals with a hat to match. Naturally, she looked stunning.

"Morning handsome," she said, eyes twinkling.

"Morning. You look like the cat that got the cream," McKenzie remarked.

"More like the woman that got the cute young stablehand," Sharinta replied. "And his girlfriend."

"Surprised people hereabouts are so open-minded," McKenzie said, cognizant of the attempt to shock him. Behind Sharinta, a very hungover-looking Leni and Danandra were coming down the stairs.

"You'd be amazed what goes on in small towns that most people never know shit about. Our mutual lord and master - meaning it as an insult - told me that I'm a magnet for deviant sexual behaviour. I took it as a compliment once he explained what a fucking magnet was," she smiled. "Well, I gave in to my baser instincts last night, Leni: do we need to do any teleporting this fine morning?"

Leni shook her head. "Not unless you can teleport out the bit of my brain that hurts so bad."

"Come here girls," Sharinta said, and briefly touched a hand to Leni and Danandra's foreheads. McKenzie felt a faint shimmer of magic. Both women blinked and thanked her.

"Neat trick," McKenzie raised an eyebrow.

"A dark - well, mostly dark - cleric is still a cleric," Sharinta explained, then grinned. "All sorts of things respond to my touch."

"Very amusing," McKenzie said. "So anyshit, I've been up for an hour. You lot want to get a move on maybe? We've got a boat to catch, innit. Any chance that the stablehand is in any condition to sort the horses out?" He asked.

Sharinta smiled wickedly and shook her head in a negative.

"Figures," he said. "Well, since I'm such a nice person, I'll go do that myself then."

- o O o -

McKenzie was in no way, shape or form prepared for the sight of Trerasa.

It wasn't the city itself, although in and of itself it wasn't like any other city McKenzie had ever seen, or at least not in recent times. It existed on two sides of a wide river in the middle of a shallow valley, but wasn't huge or sprawling, although Sharinta assured him that by local standards this was a large city. The buildings were wood and brick on the outskirts and stone in the middle, and a tall wooden tower dominated the cityscape, as if someone had used it to pin the city to the map. A great number of the local buildings were anomalously taller than those around them, and such examples of the local architecture were always surrounded by buffer zones of shorter buildings so that they stood alone, as if proud and disdainful of their neighbours. This, however, was not the thing that stood out about Trerasa.

No - that would be the ships hovering effortlessly in midair.

"There's ships floating in the fuckin' air," McKenzie said, as soon as this phenomenon became clear to him.

"Yes. Trerasa is a busy port," Danandra said.

"Yeah, but in mid-air," McKenzie clarified. "To be honest, I was kinda expecting them to be floating in the river, not above it."

"Ships don't fly where you're from?" Sharinta asked.

"No. They're not known for it. Aeroplanes fly. Helicopters hover, and airships-"

"Airships - exactly. See, you do have them," Sharinta interrupted.

"Not exactly the same thing. They're not ships ships, they're big bags of gas and frankly unsafe as fuck. Not that standing on a floating man'o'war strikes me as a particularly sane thing to do," McKenzie said.

"Can't make out any warships," Sharinta said.

"There's what looks like a customs frigate tied up," Danandra, who had keener eyesight, corrected her.

"Man of war, frigate, sloop, brig, what the fuck ever," McKenzie said. "Ships don't fly!"

Danandra looked at him with some amusement. "Well, they do here."

- o O o -

Ships did, indeed, fly here. As they drew closer to Trerasa, McKenzie could make out more of their design and construction.

His initial impression that they were wooden sailing vessels - which he'd once been quite familiar with - turned out to be mistaken. These ships, though far from uniform in appearance or size, more resembled two sailing ships, placed one atop the other, deck to deck. Their 'sails' were actually stabilisers or control surfaces - a large fin to the rear, above and below, and 'wings' to each side, which gave them the appearance of wooden zeppelins. There was a lot of rope rigging and masts holding these fins in place. Not all were made of sailcloth.

The fins of the Sky Reaper, for example, were wooden - much scarred and, in places, charred. She was moored on the outskirts of town, taking on a cargo of spices through a large hatch in her underside. She was a mid-sized example of her kind, sleek in appearance, but her much-patched hull and the aforementioned scruffy fins gave her an air of disreputability.

Given the appearance of the ship, McKenzie was expecting her captain to be a one-legged, bearded, colourfully dressed rogue with a parrot on his shoulder. He was somewhat surprised that her master turned out to be a neat, soberly dressed guy in his forties, and not a parrot in sight.

"Lady Sharinta - this is an unexpected pleasure. Lady Danandra. Lady Violentia," he greeted the women, Leni markedly less cordially and with a wary look.

"I'll behave this time, Captain," Leni said.

"Please do - it will make the voyage go all the eaiser," the man said, then turned to McKenzie. "Sir, I do not believe I have had the honour."

"Well, since we're all being so polite and since it is you, Captain Barden, this is McKenzie. McKenzie, may I present Captain Barden, master of the Sky Reaper." Now she'd been corporeal for twenty four hours, Sharinta had apparently made up some quota of swearing, because she was cutting back on it a little.

Captain Barden inclined his head. "Lord McKenzie, a privilege to meet you."

The presence of so much wood and canvas, the background noise of sailors cursing as they went about their work, and the creak of timber and rope combined with the captain's polished manners and appearance managed to knock McKenzie back to a previous time that he had thought long since faded from memory. It was all he could do to refrain from doffing a hat that was no longer there, but refrain he did.

"Just McKenzie, Captain," he said. "Nice ship."

"Thank you. Come, let us aboard," Captain Barden said. "Loading is almost complete and I anticipate an early departure. I trust that you will all join me for dinner tonight? Lady Violentia, I have purchased a small bullock."

"Oh, thanks," Leni replied.

They would not be bringing their horses - Barden despatched a crewman to fetch his local cargo-agent, whom he said would pay a fair price for them. Another pair of crewmen divested the horses of Danandra and Sharinta's possessions, and attached them to a rope, which was hauled aboard.

"Mr. Makarya, the platform, if you would!" Barden called up to a figure looking out of a porthole far above their heads. A few moments later a wooden platform descended to the ground from a large hatch in the ship's underside, depending from four stout ropes. It was apparently quite a strong bit of kit, as it took everyone's weight, although the faces of the crewmen operating the winch seemed a little strained due to Leni's weight.

Once aboard, they were shown to cabins - Leni had been assigned a section of the hold, since she could barely navigate the passageways of the ship, let alone sleep in one of the tiny cabins with any semblence of comfort.

Barden excused himself as soon as he decently could, to see to the million and one things that needed doing before the Sky Reaper could - what? Weigh anchor? Take off? Whatever the term was, McKenzie was left alone in his compact cabin. He unpacked by the simple expedient of chucking his bag onto the cot, and then had a look out of the window at Trerasa.

- o O o -

Getting underway wasn't as convoluted a process as McKenzie remembered from his days in the navy of old. The Sky Reaper erected a flagpole and ran some signals up it, the control tower by the riverside responded in kind, and something started thrumming somewhere inside the wooden vessel's innards. A sense of powerful magic, which McKenzie had only been subliminally aware of until now, built, peaked, and then Makarya gave the order to cast off. Ponderously, the Sky Reaper rose into the evening air - it felt very similar to being on an airship, even down to that background hum, as if of motors.

"That is the Core," Barden explained later, as night fell and they were invited to dinner. "The magical machinery that generates the unreality field which holds us aloft and gives us our impetus. My apologies if you find the noise disturbing."

"Not at all," McKenzie replied. "Decidedly comforting, in fact, to know it's working."

Barden gave them all a tour of the vessel after dinner (with the exception of Leni, who didn't really fit most places). The Core was situated in the very heart of the airship, and was a disappointingly quotidian piece of kit: three large wooden cylinders, bolted together in a metal frame, with a plethora of arcane infrastructure which, McKenzie could only assume, would send them hurtling toward the ground if it failed.

Despite this, he slept well that night, surrounded by the creaking of wood and the blowing of wind.