Chapter 32: ‘Don’t worry’ is not an option for someone with you in their life
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Cally's two captors said nothing to her during the carriage ride to Arctan-knew-where, and she was content to play the role of the frightened girl (no great stretch - she truly was terrified, and felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed in her skimpy disguise).

They weren't making any effort to keep her from knowing where they were headed, but in any case Cally did not know Vyrinios very well - she had visited before, but couldn't recall any details of the city's layout. Each street they clattered along looked much the same as the last.

Eventually, though, the carriage came to a halt down an unassuming road that appeared to be the rear access for a number of large buildings. Some construction work had been taking place, it seemed - a pile of masonry had been pushed to the side of the road. The door was opened by a brutish-looking individual in the leather armour of a merchant guard or mercenary for hire.

"'Allo. What've we got 'ere then darlin'?" He whistled as he saw her.

One of the assassins leaned forward. Although he was smaller and apparently less-well-armed than the guard, the armoured man still shrank back.

"Sorry guv," he said, and just held the door.

The assassins took Cally inside, through a rear door guarded by another man, this time in chain mail. Inside was a large area used for storage of barrels and bottles, probably alcohol. In one corner, a man was being repeatedly struck with a short length of rope by two other men.

"You owe Iyanus," they told him. "Are you gonna pay?" They then paused to watch her walk past.

"Pity," one said.

"Yeah," the other agreed, before they returned to tormenting the putative debtor.

Cally was led past this scene and up some stairs. They went up two flights, and then down a corridor and knocked on a large door, which was guarded by a pair of figures in black - assassins, Cally decided, like her captors. They nodded to each other. A moment later the door was opened by a frightened looking man clutching a handful of scrolls.

"Ah, you've got the girl. Do come in," the man said, with an apologetic look at Cally.

Cally was roughly pushed forward into the room. It was large, and appeared to be a bedroom for someone who required a very large bed. There was a sizeable hole in the wall on the far side of the room, which had been sealed up with a shield spell - the shield was red, and lent the early evening light a bizarre, pinkish tone.

The owner of the bed was presumably the large, male troll stood in front of the de-facto window. Based on size, the black-clad golem could be another candidate, but he wouldn't require sleep. Cally could only suppose that Leni, who was stood in the corner of the room looking unhappy, was also acquainted with the bed. Something about her demeanour and the way she was angled away from the male, though, hinted that any arrangement along those lines had broken down.

This was as far as Cally had expected the deception to go.

Cally looked at Leni.

Leni looked at Cally, and she didn't say a thing. She was, in fact, incredibly still and quiet. A declaration of surprise, shock or even a simple explanation to the other troll that Cally was not who she appeared to be was unforthcoming.

Interesting, Cally thought. Leni was choosing not to give away her identity. What did that mean? Had she given her away already - they could have seen her getting out of the carriage at street level, from that massive hole. Or, possibly more useful, was Leni holding back that information for other reasons?

"You know who I am?" The male troll asked Cally.

"Iyanus," Cally guessed, turning to face him.

"Well done. Now you, my dear, are in serious fucking trouble. I won't beat about the bush, you're probably fucked, but if you want to hang onto a slim chance of getting back to your life of fucking rich strangers for money, then you'll do exactly what I say, answer all my questions, and don't fucking lie to me. If you're about to say anything about an Arrangement your boss has with these gentlemen, then don't: it's suspended, for you. You're on your own. Understand?" Iyanus asked her.

"Yes sir," Cally nodded, playing her part despite Leni's presence.

"Good. Where's your boyfriend?" Iyanus asked.

"I don't have a boyfriend," Cally replied.

"I said to not fucking lie. Do it again and you'll be hurt. Where's your boyfriend?" Iyanus pressed her.

"Sir, I don't know who you mean," Cally replied.

"I mean the assassin with a conscience who decided to take on a massive bloody snake single-handed rather than let any harm come to you, girl. Don't try and tell me that didn't happen for a reason," Iyanus said.

"I don't know why he did what he did, sir, I-" Cally began to extemporise.

"I can hazard a fucking guess," Iyanus interrupted. "I'm a troll, girl, as you may've noticed. I divide the likes of you up into two categories - useful or tasty, beyond that you all look the same, to be brutally honest. I'm reliably informed that other useful and/or tasty things would put you into the category of 'highly fuckable', though. This tells me that our scrupulous assassin friend is likely to be sweet on you, and it oughta tell you that you need to be very co-operative if you don't want me to file you under 'tasty' rather than 'useful'," Iyanus threatened.

Cally didn't need to feign the hesitancy in her voice as she replied. "I, I really don't know why he did what he did - and I don't know where he is now. He came back to the Unsheathed Dagger, it's true, but he left again."

Iyanus glared at her for several moments.

"Fine - even if you don't know anything, if lover boy comes back then he'll be a bit more tractable with a knife to that lovely throat of yours," Iyanus said.

"Do you actually expect him to hesitate in order to save the life of a girl he's barely met?" Cally asked him. "I don't know what you know about him, sir, but he's as ruthless as they come."

Iyanus sniffed, then licked his lips.

"Fine - I believe you," Iyanus said. "It's just about dinnertime anyway."

He took a step forward. Cally readied a shield.

"Wait!" It was Leni, rather than Cally, that interjected.

Iyanus glared at the other troll. "If you think you're getting her, you've got another thing coming. You're out of my fucking good books, you are."

Leni ignored that. "Despite what this little tidbit is saying, I know McKenzie. He might be able to shrug off the death of a few innocent bystanders, but he won't be able to ignore the screams of a helpless female - especially a pretty one that's calling him by name. She's useful as a hostage."

Iyanus grunted, but stopped. "Take her to a cell," he ordered, then turned back to Cally. "Don't get too comfy - I'm liable to change my priorities once I start to get hungry."

Cally shook her head, not knowing what response to make. The assassin-guards took her by each arm, and led her from the room.

- o O o -

Onza recovered her usual demeanour quite quickly, and took him through more hallways (Jenata's lair was big on hallways) into a disappointingly normal-looking office - the only thing to give away the fact that this was where a vampire did business rather than a merchant or a factor was the ornate coffin in the corner, up on trestles. Even then it could've been an undertaker's reception room.

It otherwise contained the things you'd expect - desk, chairs and Jenata. There was also an ordinary-looking sort of bloke dressed in workaday brown clothing.

"Hello again, Lord McKenzie - do sit down. Thank you, Onza dear. Did you enjoy the hunt?" Jenata asked as they entered.

"Yes, thank you Lady Jenata," Onza replied with a bob of her head.

"No - some inconsiderate git has leaked something's blood in under my door," McKenzie replied, without a nod.

"Oh dear. I'm sure they'll clean it up when they've finished, though - we have a rota, otherwise, well, you can imagine the smell after a few days," Jenata explained.

"Will that be all?" Onza asked.

"No - please stay. I may have need of a were on this mission, and you've shown quick thinking and initiative - you were instrumental in bringing about this arrangement with Lord McKenzie. It's time for you to get involved with the business side of things, Onza - if you want to, of course," Jenata said.

Onza hesitated for a moment, then said "Yes, Lady Jenata. Thank you," and sat down.

"Lord McKenzie, this is Cemas." Jenata indicated the unassuming man.

"Alright mate?" McKenzie nodded at the man as he dropped into a chair. Cemas made no response.

"He's a quiet sort," Lady Jenata said. "Cemas will be taking care of the evidence after you've completed your covert intervention."

"You actually suggested that?" McKenzie asked Onza.

"I actually did," Onza replied.

"A most useful term," Jenata said.

"Well, I do like to bring added value to my dark pacts formed in secret with mysterious and dangerous forces," McKenzie said. "So, who's for the chop?"

"The first target will be a drang house," Jenata said.

"You lost me," McKenzie said.

"Pardon?" Jenata looked puzzled.

"Right, for the sake of simplicity, let's assume that I'm, I dunno, from another world completely, say, and don't know the first bloody thing about this one. What's drang when it's at home?" McKenzie asked.

"Drang - also known as scarch, hatang, katavassarra and a host of other words. It is a drug, a very powerful intoxicant. Those who smoke it crave more and more. The law of the empire forbids it's use, so naturally there is a thriving black market for it," Jenata explained, with a tone of distaste. "Locations where the substance is prepared, stored or sold are colloquially referred to a drang houses."

"Okay gotcha." McKenzie nodded. That was a familiar enough story. McKenzie wondered if Jenata operated her own drang houses, despite her apparent disdain. Probably, he decided, but he wasn't here to right wrongs, just secure her co-operation.

"This particular drang house belongs to the organisation of a man known as The Azani - no-one knows his name, only his ethnicity."

"Which is?"

"Azani."

"Oh right. Where's that then?"

"South," Jenata said curtly. "Shall I fetch a map?"

"No. Sorry. Go on," McKenzie said.

"It is located here, in the area formerly given over to the potters." Jenata indicated a location on a map, which was spread out on the desk. "Expect it to be heavily guarded by The Azani's most loyal enforcers - it is the source of much of his wealth. Steal any money you find, take one prisoner, reasonably whole, if you can manage it, but it's not necessary that he be conscious. Burn everything else. Cemas will come in after you, plant evidence as appropriate, and take the prisoner from your custody."

"I thought this was a take-no-prisoners sort of deal. Dead men tell no tales, right?" McKenzie said.

"On the contrary, I am happy for tales to be told - as long as they are of a human, in daylight, with normal weapons. The prisoner will be required for the next target - leave all that to Cemas," Jenata told him.

"Fairy snuff," McKenzie shrugged. "Tell me about the next target."

"The next target will be the main residence of another kingpin - the self-styled "Lord" Kambar - he dwells in a large house here, on Reglan's Square. You need not worry about him being out when you call - he is a repulsive fat man who dedicates himself to the worst excesses of debauchery - as a result he never leaves his chambers. He is a powerful mage, but you, of course, need fear no magic he can command. He has a harem of slave girls: it is his pleasure to keep them chained to his dais. This cruel habit of his will provide a convenient pool of witnesses who will hear you declare you are sent from The Azani to kill him. Then do so, free the slaves if you wish - they will spread the tale all the wider, if so - and your tasks are complete," Jenata instructed.

"Sounds like he'll be sadly missed," McKenzie commented. "Tomorrow morning, then? I like an early start for my violence."

"Very well. In both cases, be as chaotic as you please. These people are not famed for their mercy - any of yours is wasted on them."

"Neutralise the targets with extreme prejudice," McKenzie said. "There's another one for your phrasebook."

"Like it," Onza commented.

"Good. Transport?" McKenzie asked.

"A carriage will be waiting outside for you in the morning. Onza will take you there just after sunrise at seven bells. It will drop you near by each target, then, after you have dealt with any resistance, approach closer to allow Cemas to do his work," Jenata said.

"And then back here?"

"Indeed – you'll want to collect your possessions, no doubt."

"And Danandra."

"Indeed so."

"And then you'll give me this gadget of yours to get me into the guild hall?"

"As agreed," Jenata confirmed.

"Sorted." McKenzie nodded. "Any chance I could borrow the carriage tonight?"

"I beg your pardon?" Jenata asked, taken aback.

"Are you dead set - sorry, bad choice of words, do you need me to be here all night? I've got a message to deliver - unrelated business, need to let someone at the Melindronian embassy know an unexpected guest is on the way. It's kinda urgent," McKenzie asked.

"Regrettably, your staying here until morning is a condition of our deal, Lord McKenzie. I do not want to jeopardise the mission. If you are seen leaving these halls, you may be linked to us. Secrecy is paramount," Jenata said.

"I don't remember that being mentioned at the time," McKenzie countered.

"Let us say I took it as understood," Jenata replied. "Feel free to try and leave on your own - I don't doubt that you could manage it eventually, but certainly it would provide you with several hours of amusement beforehand. One has to be shown in and out of my house, Lord McKenzie - I do so like to keep up the old forms."

"Fine," McKenzie said. "Can I borrow a messenger, then?"

"Of course – as long as I am permitted to read the message beforehand," Jenata said.

"Okay, no problem. It's quite simple: extremely urgent for the attention of the Archmage Xixaxa, you-know-who is on his way here, from McKenzie," McKenzie said. It was more important, he reckoned, to let Xixaxa know Lemuel was coming than to keep it from Jenata.

"That is all?" Jenata asked.

"That's all," McKenzie confirmed.

"I'll despatch someone personally, as soon as we're finished here. Will there be a response?" She asked.

"Maybe. Probably. Yeah, actually, can you ask for one? It'll be incomprehensible, probably, there's this whole cypher thing that I can't be arsed remembering," McKenzie said.

"I will so instruct the messenger," Jenata said. "My word on it."

"Great. Thanks," McKenzie said, then sighed.

"Is there a problem, Lord McKenzie?" Jenata asked.

"Yeah – now I gotta tell Danandra what I just told you, and ten'll get you fifty she finds a way to think of it as my fault," McKenzie said.

- o O o -

"This is your fault, I hope you know that!" Danandra snapped at him, a few minutes later after Onza had taken him back to their adjacent rooms, and Danandra had once again cast her privacy spell.

"How?" McKenzie snapped back. "C'mon, I'm interested to hear what chain of Danandra anger-logic you've pieced together in the eight seconds since I told you Lemuel is coming here that's made you arrive at that conclusion."

"You take every opportunity to annoy him, that's how! You're on that device from your world all the time, not to further your desire to get home so you can bed Anaharra, which I might understand, but solely to cause him inconvenience! It's no wonder he's realised what's happening, he must be paying constant attention to us to see what mischief you've got up to!" Danandra raged back. "You're a selfish, spiteful, arrogant...bastard!"

McKenzie almost literally gasped at her words, then just stared at her for a good few moments.

"You can be a real fucking bitch sometimes, Danandra," he said, finally.

Uncharacteristically, Danandra did not respond to this. "Sorry," she said. "That was uncalled for."

McKenzie almost gasped at that, too – then he narrowed his eyes. "Talius just told you to apologise, didn't he?"

"No," Danandra said. "Maybe. A bit. Shush, I'm dealing with this. No. Oh for the god's sakes! Yes, Talius told me to apologise. I was being a bitch. I apologise. Happy now?"

"Every time I think that my life here can't possibly get any weirder, some little bit of it sprouts a new shoot of weirdness. In this case, it's an invisible boyfriend," McKenzie said, then added: "An invisible boyfriend with a big old set of bollocks on him, too, to tell you when to rein it in."

Danandra blushed, then glared. "Do all your expressions have to be so crude?"

"Yes. Anyway, apology accepted. You're not a bitch, sorry. For the record, constantly winding Le-, him up can't have helped, I don't know what did happen to bring him here – oh." McKenzie stopped, as he realised that he did, in fact, have an idea what might have brought Lemuel here.

"'Oh' what?" Danandra asked suspiciously.

"Um, nothing. Forgot something. Not important now anyway. I think what we should take away from this is that we need to not worry about how he found out but think about what we're going to-"

"Out with it," Danandra interrupted him.

McKenzie grimaced. "I might have said his name a tiny little bit where nobody had done a shieldy thing like this, and then, um, said the curse was broken. Might. A little bit," he admitted. "Sorry about that."

"YOU IDIOT!" Danandra shrieked. "You utter, utter idiot!"

"How the fuck am I supposed to remember all these stupid fucking magical rules and facts and bullshit anyway!" McKenzie snapped back defensively. "I'm from a proper planet where all this fucked-up magical curse crap is just in films and comics and what have you. We don't even know that Leni hadn't used his name already!"

"We know that you definitely did!" Danandra countered.

"He was gonna find out sooner or later!" McKenzie said.

"Yes, and because of you it's sooner, you, you...gah!" Danandra practically hissed, then started pacing around the room. "We need to inform the Archmage. Will Lady Jenata allow you to leave?"

"No, but I've got her to take a message to the embassy saying what's happening. And to ask for a response so we know she's definitely sent it." McKenzie replied.

"I'm amazed you can remember the cypher," Danandra said scathingly.

McKenzie bit his bottom lip. "Yeah, about that..."

Danandra sighed. "You wrote it down unencrypted, didn't you?"

"No!" McKenzie responded. Danandra looked surprised until he went on: "I just told her what to put in the message. I kept it vague, don't worry."

"'Don't worry' is not an option for someone with you in their life, McKenzie," Danandra replied acidly. "Still, it hardly matters if Jenata knows he is returning or not. What could she do? What can any of us do?"

"Shoot the fucker when he turns up," McKenzie suggested.

"There does not exist the weapon which can harm him," Danandra said.

"I just need to get close. Weak shield or strong shield, the only difference to me is how much they tickle when I bring them down. Then: blam. Problem solved," McKenzie told her.

"I don't think you quite realise what he is, McKenzie. He is not just a powerful mage among many - he is not even merely the most powerful mage, he is more than that. He's a god," Danandra said.

"He's a twat," McKenzie said. "If Xixaxa really has dealt with the curse, a bullet'll sort that fucker out."

"Why do you persist in your refusal to see the facts of-" Danandra said, then was quiet for a moment. "This isn't getting us anywhere," she said instead.

"Thanks, Talius," McKenzie replied. Danandra shot him a dirty look.

"For the record, Talius thinks you're an idiot too. Do you think Lady Jenata will adhere to the agreement?" Danandra asked.

"She said she'll release you when I get back, late morning probably I expect, and give me whatever it is I need to rescue Jadhara and kidnap Bladehand. She better mean it," McKenzie said.

"If she does not, then I will be free to take steps to see to my own freedom," Danandra said.

"Well, gimme until midday at least," McKenzie said.

"Agreed."

"On a possibly related subject..." McKenzie said. He was carrying his bag, which he now unslung. "Can you keep an eye on my excess weaponry? Remember how I told you how to use the submachineguns, in case you need to?"

Danandra nodded.

"Might be handy if this goes south. Whatever happens, keep them with you. Oh, and you better have these, too, in case you need to punch a vamp or a were-something." McKenzie dug out his silver-plated knuckledusters.

Danandra tried to slide them onto her delicate elven hand. They were almost comically large.

"These will not, I think, be a lot of use. Much like their owner, they are crude, clumsy, and only useful for hitting things," she told him flatly.

McKenzie glowered, but stepped on his temper. He had fucked up pretty badly, after all. "Well, maybe they'll fit Talius if he de-jewels," he said.

"Doubtful," Danandra said.

McKenzie decided he'd best fuck off before she exploded again. "Well, I dunno 'bout you, but I'm knackered, and I've got to be up early to uphold the terms of my pact with evil forces. Sleep well, Danandra."

"Sleep?" Danandra snorted. "No, I imagine I'll be laying awake worrying about what other monumentally stupid things you'll do between now and midday tomorrow."

McKenzie decided to just leave the room.

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