Walking towards the testing machine, Suzuki took a deep breath, remembering the score that Shousuke had just gotten, having taken the test right before her.
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Shousuke had walked up to the machine with a calm atmosphere and went through the test as if it was nothing special.
It was special.
He had gotten the best score so far! Walking back from the testing area to the line, he had faced away from the rest of the viewers and smirked at everyone else in the line.
Standing back in line, Shousuke had a nonchalant expression, basking in the raucous applause while the machine reported his scores.
{Overall scores of the subject are:
Magic Power: S- Ranked
Magic Type: 57% Release type 43% Enchantment type
Magic Affinities: Fire S rank, Earth B- rank, Water C rank, Air C- rank
Complex Magic Affinities: Lava 2nd level
Specialization: Rifle}
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Taking a few deep breaths, Suzuki stepped up to the first machine and tried to conceal her shaking hand as much as possible while putting onto the testing area. Feeling surprised at the feeling of something being sucked out through her hand, Suzuki stiffened for a second before relaxing again. Holding her hand on the area, Suzuki spent some time looking at the blue lines running up the machine while waiting for the results. Looking at the intricacies of the machine, Suzuki held immense respect for whoever built these machines.
Ignoring what the mechanical voice reported, Suzuki walked to the next machine, ready to take the next test, again, distracting herself by looking at the machine while waiting for her results to come in.
Finishing her tests one after another, Suzuki returned to her spot in line ready to hear the results she had ignored.
Having ignored whatever the mechanical voice was reporting, Suzuki held her breath while waiting for the machine to report her scores. Waiting for just a few seconds, the machine reported,
{Overall scores of the subject are:
Magic Power: S Ranked
Magic Type: 33% Release type 67% Enchantment type
Magic Affinities: Earth S rank, Water C rank, Fire C- rank, Air D+ rank
Complex Magic Affinities: Metal 3rd level
Specialization: Scythe}
Letting out a large sigh of relief, Suzuki bloomed into a wide smile in the face of the overwhelming applause that was happening.
Dazzling the audience with her smile, Suzuki's smile lessened a bit when hearing the whispers of several of the nearby parliament members, "Amazing, but really... it should be expected considering she is the child of the Piercing Whirlwind and Backline Annihilator..."
Hearing this Suzuki was mystified, she knew that her parents had gotten nicknames from when they were in the military, but she didn't know that they were so... aggressive? Resolving to ask and tease, mostly tease, her parents about them later, Suzuki waited for the rest of the tests to finish.
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(A while later)
Seeing Suzuki return to the table, Erina jumped towards Suzuki yelling, "You're amazing! You got one of the best test results! I knew that you were the best Suzuki!"
Catching the silver bullet in her arms, Suzuki replied with a wide smile while poking Erina on the nose, "Of course I am, I'm your sister! You shouldn't doubt me!"
Sitting back down at the table with Erina on her lap, Suzuki turned to her parents and began her questioning, "So Mama and Papa have been in the military right?"
Nodding like a bobblehead, Garret replied with a proud expression, "Yup! In fact, your mother and I met in the military!"
Interjecting, Miyuki added, "If you have any questions, you should ask! Papa and I would be really happy to answer!"
Smirking, Suzuki asked, "Okay, so what are the stories behind 'The Piercing Whirlwind' and 'The Backline Annihilator'?"
Hearing the question, both Garret and Miyuki stiffened, and Miyuki asked with a slight quiver in her voice, "Where did you hear about that!?"
Her smirk widening, Suzuki answered, "Oh I dunno... I just overheard some of the parliament members mentioning them when I got my results announced..."
Hearing Suzuki's answer, Garret sighed in resignation while Miyuki blushed in shame, leaning over to take Erina from Suzuki's arms.
Taking Erina from Suzuki's arms, Miyuki answered while avoiding eye contact, "Well... When Papa and I were in the military, we may have gone a bit overboard several times. Earning our nicknames... it was when we were young!"
Squeezing Erina like a plushie, Miyuki continued, "I may have gone and annihilated the entire backline of the opposing team several times during sparring matches... and Garret may have just created a whirlwind around him with lightning magic while just slashing wildly on the frontlines of those sparring matches..."
Struggling to breathe because of Miyuki's squeezing, Erina began tapping harder and harder to try and get air again. Struggling to breathe after having survived the greatest ordeal of the century, Erina decided to migrate back to Suzuki's lap where it was safer, where there weren't giant mounds to suffocate her.
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Stepping up to the podium, the King addressed all those present, "Hello, I would like to thank each and every one of you for coming today. I hope that everyone had a nice time, and wish you a happy rest of your day!"
With this signal, each of the families began standing up to leave.
Meeting up with the Mitsuyas, Erina and Yuiko walked ahead, trading their opinions on how the magic test went.
"It was amazing!" Erina started, holding her hand out to Yuiko, "The food, the drinks, the castle, and the test itself! Everything was so cool!"
Grabbing Erina's hand and pulling her ahead, Yuiko added, "It never ceases to amaze me! I feel like the Royal family makes it better every single time!"
Having arrived back at the parking area, Yuiko and Erina hugged before bidding each other goodbye.
"Bye-bye Yuiko, see you soon!" Erina called out to Yuiko's retreating figure.
"Goodbye Erina!" Yuiko replied, waving before getting onto her car.
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Having waved goodbye to Yuiko, Erina climbed into her seat in the car.
Buckling in his seatbelt, Garret asked, "Everyone in their seats? Everyone ready to go?"
Hearing various voices of affirmation, Garret drove into the crowded streets of Novosburg, back towards home.
the books decent so far, the premise is good, the characters have been well introduced. The world building has been eh pretty good(over explaining certain things), but the author notes in the middle of the chapter kind of get rid of the immersion. I understand that you are trying to clarify something, but there are ways around that for example: have the curious 7 year old with her first time attendance not understand something and ask(like what you had been doing 2 chapters ago) or you can quite simply not say anything and explain it later if necessary .In this chapter I thought it would be quite obvious even without the note, because this is a "talent" test it would stand to reason that this is measuring their talent for the major branches of magic and that magic wouldn't be just divided by type, emitted or otherwise, unless specified as part of the power system. one thing most new authors do is explain things that don't need explaining, most of the time readers can put 2 and 2 together and get 4, but if you do need too, or at least feel you need to, go ahead, you will get used to what you have to say with time. In my opinion all you need is some time and practice writing, you have a great foundation writing you just need to work out the kinks
TL:DR book good, with time to grow, better.
Thank you very much~! That's some good feedback!
Hmm I kinda like the little comments here and there, sort of reminds me that someone is taking their time to write it, among other reasons.
But yes, it does shake you out of the Immersion.
@Daybrownies I'm getting some conflicting messages... but thanks for the feedback!
@Esyix like i was trying to say(some times i come across as being sassy when i don't mean to so my point kind of gets misinterpreted) but don't force yourself to change your writing style, its good as is and will only get better as you find your own style of writing and just get used to writing a story in general as you go. I was only saying my own 2 cents, take it but don't feel you have to spend it (or so my dad likes to say).