I pulled up to the Coffee Grinder and steeled myself for my first day on the job. I knew Debi would be there, so it wouldn't be too horrible, but it was still going to be a pain in my ass since serving coffee was a much ridiculed position in life. I would probably be disgusted with my life by the end of the day.

I used the bike lock Lucas gave me to tie my moped to the bike rack. Not outrageously necessary - anybody stealing a bright pink moped was clearly desperate - but just peace of mind. Sometimes that was all that anybody needed.

I felt really stupid doing what I was about to do, but it wouldn't be the first time I'd done something ridiculous just to prove to Dad that I could carry my weight. Besides, plenty of people out there have dead end jobs, I wasn't the only one. I was the only one who was a Norse God, but still. I could manage this. I knew I could manage this.

“Are you… No, this is a joke, right?” I asked when Debi handed me the uniform.

She shook her head. “Nope. And the mini skirt isn't anywhere near the biggest problem, Princess D-cups.”

I rolled my eyes. The mini skirt was a problem so far as I was concerned. Of course, so was the low cut V-neck top. Pretty much the only thing that wouldn't be showing for any asshole customers to accidentally touch would be my feet. There was also an apron, but it didn't help at all. Overall, I felt like a goddamn doll. Great, this wouldn't be as manageable as I thought.

“Alright, kid,” Arnold said as I adjusted the fanny pack Debi handed me, “I'm gonna give you tables one to five, which are the easiest tables for newbies. Once you're more comfortable, you'll move up to the regulars, which is tables six to twelve.”

I blinked. “We only have twelve tables and more than half of them are regular customers?”

“Yes. Now, follow Debs and get to work.”

I sighed. Princess of Asgard, waitress of coffee shop/restaurant. This was just fan-tucking-fastic. A part of me wondered what would be next and why I'd get myself into it.

Debi ran me through everything, from taking orders, to what I had to say in shorthand to Arnold (who was also the cook), to how faster service means more tips. I couldn't forget to always smile when I took the orders or when I served them, I couldn't spend more than a minute per order unless I was chatting with the customer. Making connections with customers was treated as the second most important facet of the job after getting their orders taken care of.

And thus, I smiled and chatted my way through three hours of out-of-towners leering at me in my light blue mini skirt. I don't think one person talked to my face, except the other women. Okay, even some of the other women were focused on my breasts instead of my face. It was humiliating, to the point that I almost told somebody off, but one glance at Debi told me not to do anything. I made sure to give him a nice little shock when he asked to shake my hand.

At the halfway point in my shift, I wandered into the breakroom and sat down. I needed it, otherwise I might’ve fallen over. I knew it was something I'd get used to eventually, but my first day was almost as bad as my first day as a girl. At least I was getting good tips, and according to Debi, I got to keep the whole thing. A little extra money wasn’t compensation for the embarrassment, but it was at least something. Maybe I'd even be able to save up for something a little less goofy the moped.

“Nora! C'mon, girl, tables are waitin’!” Arnold shouted. Damn, fifteen minutes had damn near flown by. I hadn't even noticed it.

“Sorry!” I called back as I hurriedly put my apron back on. I quickly tied my hair back and vowed to myself to get a haircut somewhere down the line. To think, just last night, I'd enjoyed getting it styled. Well, I could still keep it nice, even if it was shorter. Not like it needed to be boyishly short, or anything.

I rushed back out to see Debi had disappeared and the only people ready to order were a couple at table seven, meaning regulars. I grabbed my notepad and pen and put on my friendliest smile. “Hi, my name is Nora and I'll take your order today!” I said, all bright and bubbly like I’d been doing all day.

The man looked me up and down, pausing ever so briefly at my cleavage (naturally), and asked, “Where's Debi?”

I giggled nervously. “That's a good question. She never said anything about leaving early, but I couldn't find her. Now, if you’ll just give me your order?”

His wife turned her nose up at me. “We come here to talk to that delightful young girl.”

A part of me wanted to angrily shout that I didn’t know where Debi was, but I just kept my smile going. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but if you’d just give me your order, I’ll make sure you get your food.”

The man glared at me like I’d just told him he has an incurable disease. I wondered if Lucas could do that to him, at least for a minute or four. That'd be funny. Shitty, but funny.

“I guess we'll settle for you,” he said, with a growl in his voice. “Two cheeseburgers, hold the cheese and the onions, lettuce only on the one, and no mayo on the other.” And then he decided to helpfully add, “But Debi would know all of that.”

I wanted so very badly to beat this couple to death, never get them their food and smile while I did it. Was this how all the regulars were? Jesus, and I just thought the non-regulars gawking at my boobs was bad enough. How Debi put up with these assholes was beyond me.

I wrote down their order, stuck it to the revolving thing the orders went on, then called it back to Arnold. I swear, I heard him say “Goddamn it” before I walked over to the coffee pots and grabbed the warmest one we had. The old bitch had ordered decaf, and Mr. Fuckface ordered French Roast.

About ten minutes later, Arnold came back with their order and a note on the tray. Sorry, kiddo was what it said, which I assumed was meant for me. I wondered why he was apologizing, unless it was just for how that couple had just been a couple of assfaces. That was probably it, really. I had to thank him for that later.

I carried the tray over, then asked, “Okay, who gets what?”

Mr. Asswipe looked positively disgusted. “I told you that when you took our order. Now, give us the correct food, or go get someone who can actually do your job.”

I was about to say something when Arnold came out from the kitchen and put his hand on my shoulder. “Mr. and Mrs. Halprin, I'd like to let you know that your business is much appreciated here, and it always will be. But, Nora is a model employee, and I'd ask you not to insult her when she's doing her best to do a job she wasn't even supposed to have to do. Debi had to go home sick just shortly after Nora took her break, that's why she's not here.”

That explained it. He could have said that before I came back out here and got humiliated by a pair of old geezers who probably haven't slept in the same bed for twenty years. The irony being I'm technically older than both of them combined, but Norse beings age at a significantly slower pace than those from Earth. Still, I was grateful.

But, the old fucker was persistent. “Look, Arnie, if it's not Debi waiting our table next time, we're just going to take our business elsewhere.” He gestured to me. “This bimbo couldn't figure out our order after I told her what it was.”

His wife chimed in, “And look at how she's dressed. I swear, it's like you let in every little slut you can find.”

“Excuse me?” I said, not even hiding the annoyance in my voice.

Arnold just patted my back in response, then said, “Mrs. Halprin, please. Nora did nothing wrong. All my waitresses are dressed this way, including Debi.”

The bitch made a hmpf sound. “She could cover up better.”

I so very desperately wanted to rip her throat out.

Arnold grabbed the tray of food. “Nora, please throw this out. Mr. and Mrs. Halprin, I'm going to kindly ask you to leave and never come back. Your business isn't worth your self-indulgence.”

The bitch stood up first. “Your food has always been disgusting.”

Then her husband. “Our granddaughter is going to leave you a scathing Yelp review.”

After they left, Arold turned to me and said, “You did good, kid.”

“But, I just cost you a regular.”

Suddenly, Debi's arm was around my waist, “Yeah, but they were assholes.”

I turned to face her. “You're still here?”

She was smiling. “Yup. Sorry to use you like that, but Arnold and I have been trying to get them to stop coming here for a long damn time. They always complain about the food, but like seeing me, for some creepy reason. I think I remind them of their granddaughter, or something.”

Arnold patted me on the shoulder again. “Like I said, ya did good. Now, lunch rush is in twenty minutes, be prepared to be overwhelmed.”

I smirked. “I think I can handle it.”

When Arnold left, Debi gave me a hug and whispered, “You go, girl!” It made me smile wider, for some reason.

* * *

I wiggled and damn near stuffed my way into a pair of tight shorts that almost looked like they were spandex or something like that. Naturally, because they came from Debi, they were bright pink. I guess since it was clearly “my color”, or whatever, it made sense. I didn't really care, I just wanted shorts on. My first day of work, and I'd made $68.32 in tips, had my ass fondled by about six men old enough to be my grandfather and helped get rid of unwanted customers. I felt a need to laze around in shorts and a tee-shirt.

After about twenty minutes of lazing around in my shorts and tee-shirt, the boredom kicked in. I was doing nothing but lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I didn't even know what it was I was staring at on the ceiling, I was just staring at the ceiling. I needed something to do.

I sat up and finally took a good look at my room. Two days here, I'd never really paid any attention to what stuff Aunt Helen had bought me. I had a laptop, a TV, and an Xbox. I wasn't really in the mood for TV or video games (well, I was sorta in the mood for Mortal Kombat 11, but I preferred to play with Lucas; I picked Rayden, he picked Shang Tsung), so I fired up the laptop instead.

After about an hour of YouTube videos, there was a knock on the door. I was sitting on my bed with my laptop on my lap. “Come in,” I said, without getting up.

Lucas walked in, covering his eyes. “Please, tell me you're wearing clothes,” he said, almost on the verge of laughter.

“I'm wearing clothes, dumbass.”

He let his hand drop. “Oh, thank God. So, how was your first day?”

I answered his question with a question, “Have you ever had to count how many times somebody patted your ass?”

“Approximately four hundred seventy-three.”

I was certain my face showed an expression of pure amazement mixed with a hint of worry. “How do you know the exact number?”

His face turned beet red. “Let's just say that my female form is more than a little popular in Philadelphia and leave it at that.” He quickly (and mercifully) changed the subject. “Back to your day.”

“Aside from having my ass grabbed, or trying to tell people to stop looking at my chest when they order, it was actually pretty easy. Went by in a flash, helped Debi and Arnold get rid of a pair of shitty customers, that sort of thing.”

He smirked. “Boring, then?”

I jabbed the air with my finger. “Hey, you try to be a waitress in a skimpy outfit for a day.”

He sat down on my bed beside me and put his hands behind his head. “Maybe next week. Or, no, maybe finals week. I could use a distraction with all those goddamn exams.”

I seriously doubted he'd do it, but I was gonna hold it over him. Debi would probably join in with me, so it would be super funny. Either way, the idea would be hilarious enough.

I closed my laptop and asked, “You and Debi going out tonight?”

He nodded. “Actually, that's why I came in here. See, Debi and I are going onna double date with one of her friends, Evan, and his girlfriend kinda… Well, kinda dumped him last week.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Um… Okay?”

“Look, Evan's a nice guy, he's still down about it and he needs a shoulder for a night, so I told him I'd ask you if you'd be there.”

I blinked. “Are you… Are you trying to hook me up with one of your friends?”

He was suddenly defensive. “I just… Look, here… I'm trying to help him through a rough time. He won't try anything, you'll just be hangin’ out with us. I swear he won't even try to put his arm around you.”

“I don't even know if this stupid change made me attracted to boys. I sure know I hated getting ‘accidentally’ fondled today.”

“And I said he won't touch you anymore than is necessary.”

I scowled at him. “Define necessary.”

“Say if you're about to fall off a bridge.”

“I'm a Norse God.”

“Or if, y'know, there's a puddle.”

“A puddle? Really? You afraid I'm worried about messing up my nail polish?”

“It's a distinct possibility.”

“Lucas!”

“What? You're a girl, girls worry about that sort of thing. I do whenever I'm a girl.”

“Kiss my ass, little brother.”

“I am six days younger than you.”

I sighed. “Look, he touches nothing unless it's an absolute necessity, and if he tries to kiss me at all, I crush his nuts with my hammer.”

He smiled. “See, you're a girl, like I said.”

As he burst from my bed, I grabbed one of my pillows and made an effort to hit him with. Sad to say, it didn't work, but I did get the door just after he closed it.

Great. A date. With a boy. I had exactly zero idea how I'd manage that. Maybe it would be a simple, easy experience. And maybe it would go horribly wrong in an instant. At least I could still fry him with lightning if he tried anything.

Come to think of it, I should have done that to Lucas…

* * *

I looked at my phone for about the fifteenth time as Lucas, Debi and I waited for this Evan guy to show up. He was already twenty minutes late, and Debi had texted him at least a dozen times. I wondered if maybe he made up with his girlfriend, that way I wouldn't need to be here, I could go be a fifth wheel somewhere else. I presumably had no such luck.

I glanced over at the strongly impatient Debi. She and Lucas actually looked like they were on a date, what with Lucas in a bright orange polo shirt and tan cargo shorts and Debi wearing a black babydoll shirt and a white mini skirt. I was the odd one out in gray capris and a tank top. Granted, people wore whatever on a date, and I wasn't here for a boyfriend, just so my brother and best friend weren't the only couple on this double date.

I sighed rather loudly, louder than I'd expected, even. Debi took notice and elbowed me lightly in the ribcage. I could tell she was annoyed. I just silently said sorry and went back to not doing a goddamn thing but sitting on the bench beside them. They looked content, what with Lucas putting his arm around Debi’s waist. Now, if only Evan would get here so I didn't feel like I was disturbing them. Then I wouldn't be the only one sitting in on their date.

I looked down at my phone again. I was tempted to download some mind-numbing match three game from the app store for nothing more than to pass the time, but I decided against it. There was always PUBG Mobile, but I was shit at that game because I had a life outside it. Maybe something a little less intense, like Fortnite...

“Oh, there he is!” Debi exclaimed as she stood up to greet this guy.

Evan wasn't a bad looking guy, in all honesty. I could easily see girls falling for him, with his soft blue eyes and boyish features. He had an air of innocence about him, like he was constantly surrounded by new things. He dressed decently enough, in a plain blact tee-shirt and faded blue jeans. His brown hair was a curly mess and his chin had only a tiny bit of stubble.

But there was something else about him. Something I just couldn't put my finger on. He looked… Not wrong, exactly, but definitely off. Like he alone was aware of everyone and everything. Almost like…

“Sorry I'm late, but my mom had me finishing up some chores.” He looked straight at me. “Hello, princess. Guess you're my ‘date’ for tonight, huh? I promise I won't lay a finger on you.”

He wasn't human.