The next few days were such a blur that I have trouble remembering but bits and pieces. My mom and dad did their best to comfort me, and it did help a little. While I had always been very sure of myself, my gender, and my sexuality, I knew that if things had been different, my parents would always have accepted me no problem. For a few days, my parents helped me get used to the bare minimum: that I was going away. My dad said it was like college, but a year early. The thought had me almost laugh before realizing that I would still have to handle college applications during whatever was about to happen.

Around three days after I had originally found out the news, I was on the road to the facility that would supposedly help me adjust, The Northeastern Gender Crisis Clinic, nicknamed The Facility. I just wanted to curl up and let everything else happen around me.

We pulled up, and I was caught off guard. The building looked more like the x-men mansion than the cold metal lab that I had envisioned. Funding for something like this was probably tight, so the building had probably been donated or bought from a foreclosure. It was an old mansion with plenty of stone and brick. As I walked inside I felt the old wooden floors creak just a bit. My mom couldn't get off work, so she had said her goodbyes the day before the drive up. My dad helped me get what things I had brought out of the car. There was an attendant ready at a desk just inside and she led me to my room. I could see that I shared it with someone else who had already moved in. There was an attached bathroom that we shared, which relieved a bit of my nerves. I didn't want to have to use a communal bathroom, even if everyone else here was going through the same things as I was. My dad helped me drop off my suitcases, and we were ushered back down to the front doors to say our goodbyes.

Dad held my shoulders and looked me in the eye, "Isaac, your mother and I love you more than anything in this world. We don't care who you are, just that you're ours." Tears started rolling down my face as the events of the last few days finally started to catch up with me. He hugged me close for what I wanted to be an eternity, and finally let go. He and mom could visit me as much as they wanted, and we had agreed that monthly worked best for my parents' work schedules. Knowing that it would be that long before I saw my dad again was hard, but we said goodbye and he got back into the car. I watched as he drove off the grounds and out of sight. I lingered for a little while after that, kicking around the dirt and gravel.

The attendant I was with said that lunch was starting soon and that I could follow her. I walked behind her until we arrived at a cafeteria. It resembled the Great Hall at Hogwarts from Harry Potter, and I knew that Lily would have been impressed.

The second I thought about her, I knew I had to push it down. I hadn't gotten to say anything to my friends before I left. I was told that they were notified of what was going to happen to me, but that didn't seem to help.

I realized that I should get some food and walked over to the line. At this point, I scanned the other people in the room. Mostly there were other guys that looked my age. There were a couple androgynous-looking teens sitting further away from everyone, but no one that looked distinctly... girlish... from what I could tell.

I centered myself and looked for a place to sit down. I was relieved to see Jordan's face among the crowd and walked over next to him.

"Mind if I sit here?" I asked meekly.

He looked up at me, nodded, and smiled a half-smile. I had heard offhandedly that he had gotten here yesterday, and it looked like he had met two other guys. They looked less apprehensive than Jordan and I, but not by much. The first one to speak introduced himself as Alex. He was about 5' 11" and had a striking head of red hair. He was lean but still muscled. I shook his hand and sat down. The other guy stuck out his hand.

"My name's Lane." He was about my height and had dark black hair and piercing gray eyes. We all sat in silence eating until I decided that saying something dumb would be less painful than the awkward quiet we had been sitting in.

"Do you guys play any sports?"

Lane shook his head, but Alex gave a small smile, nodded, and said, "I dabble with some ultimate Frisbee."

Jordan and I perked up a bit. Our school was one of the best in the country when it came to ultimate, so we had some internalized pride, even though neither of us actually played.

"Very cool," I responded, "What school are from?"

"Somerset. We're okay, nothing like Ravenwood though. You guys have a pretty mean team. Either of you play?"

Jordan and I shook our heads, “Nah. I never was popular enough to play. Or… maybe I was never popular because I didn’t play… Weird that all our popular kids are ultimate frisbee people though.” It felt good to be making jokes again. It took all our minds off why we were here.

The rest of the meal was pretty uneventful. The four of us talked a bit and managed to shake the overwhelming sense of dread long enough that it was noticeable when it came back. It turned out that Alex was my roommate, which was a bit of a relief. As an introvert, meeting two new people was hard enough.

At one point there was a moment of awkward silence that was finally broken by Lane, "So, uh... You guys come here often?"

We all let out some snarky chuckles, attempting to ignore the issue at large.

"In all honesty though," Alex chimed in, "This is... so crazy. I mean I'd sort of heard about stuff like this going on, but I never figured that it'd... that it'd be me."

None of us made any eye contact, but we all nodded in solemn agreement.

"I wonder what we'll look like..." I said.

Lane gave a scared chuckle, "Or act like..."

"Come on, you don't really think that we're going to change that much?" Alex shot back. "Right?"

"Honestly... I have no idea." We all kind of shuffled uncomfortably in our seats.

Jordan finally spoke up, "I mean I've been... a guy. For my entire life. I don't know how to wrap my brain around..." He trailed off into silence.

Alex was yet again the one who broke the silence, "I don't know about you guys, but I feel like it can't be too bad. I mean girls are... girls, and they seem to get along okay. So if guys become girls and then are just girls who are girls, won't those guys who are girls also just be okay too?"

We fell silent for a quick second, before letting out some slight laughter.

"Dude, that made no sense," said Lane.

"I followed you for a second, but then you lost me," Jordan chuckled.

Alex attempted to elaborate, "I just meant that--"

"Nope, it's too late. You had your shot and you blew it..." I said, cutting Alex off.

The laughter died down for a moment until Lane attempted to take a sip of water. He just kept laughing and ended up spitting all the water out of his mouth and nose, which only furthered the now pointless laughter.

Lunch ended and an attendant came over to get me. I waved to the guys and followed her out.

She gave me a rundown of how the facility worked. It was essentially school, with a few extras added on top. We still had math, English, and the like, but we also had mandatory therapy and... an anatomy class. I’d had anatomy before in middle school, but I nevertheless felt squeamish about taking it in this context.

The attendant handed me my schedule and directed me to my first class. It turned out that the first day of school was pretty ubiquitous even at a weird gender change x-men house. The irony of the title “x-men” was not lost on me and I let out a bit of a sadistic chuckle. I spent my first day getting a syllabus from my teachers before starting their regular lectures. It was comforting to feel as though things were progressing normally. Since I had arrived midday, I only had two classes left before my first therapy session. I wasn't looking forward to it.

After my last class, the attendant that I had met showed me up some stairs to a quieter section of the building. She had me wait in a chair until directed to go in. I didn't have to wait long before one of the more androgynous guys walked out and I was told to enter.

I hadn't ever been to a therapy session before, but it was about what I expected. No long sofa for me to lay on and divulge my problems, that was just in movies. For me, therapy was a couple of comfy chairs all facing each other.

A woman in her mid to early twenties was sitting in one chair, so I took the chair furthest from her.

"Isaac Baker, correct?" the woman asked. She wasn't dressed in a suit, but rather a fuzzy sweater and some jeans. Her voice was calming and reminded me a bit of my mom's.

I nodded my head.

"I’m Dr. Olivia Wright; feel free to just call me Olivia. I'm sure you've got a lot of questions, the biggest being what’s going to happen to your body, right?" she said.

I nodded head, but slower this time.

"Well, most teens who come through here tend to experience their first changes within a few days of arrival. For some the changes are done after only two weeks, for others, it could be up to three months. Most students tend to be done with physical changes in around a month and a half and are released after another. For whatever reason, this condition seems to hit you all in waves, so everyone in your group started at around the same time. Does that all make sense?"

I gave her a half-hearted thumbs up.

She smiled, "It’s alright to feel apprehensive. You're here so that the process can occur as easily and comfortably as possible. Do you have any other burning questions?"

I took a moment to think before responding, "Do my grades matter?"

The woman smiled, "Yes, your grades are still as important as they were. We'll do our best to make sure your education is as good or better than what you were used to and we have a full college counseling program to help get you where you'd like to go." She looked down at some paperwork, "You've had your eye on Westchester right?"

I gulped. Lily and I had both had dreams of attending Westchester even before we got together. It felt odd thinking about any kind of future with her.

"It's alright if you haven't made up your mind. It’s a big decision and you've got a lot weighing on you," she said comfortingly, "We'll revisit it later."

There was a moment of since before she chimed in, "Well if you don't have any more questions at the moment, I'll let you out. You know where to find me if you need anything."

She showed me out and I made my way back to my room. Alex wasn't back yet, so I took the time to unpack and decompress. I hadn't brought much simply because I didn't know how much was going to still fit after... It was all t-shirts, a few jackets, jeans, and some sweats. Based on what everyone else had been wearing today I surmised that we were pretty much able to wear whatever we wanted.

I got myself somewhat straightened out and climbed up to my bed. Alex had claimed the bottom bunk, but I wasn't unhappy about it. I would probably have wanted the top anyway. I started thinking about the gang back home. Sadie had always been accepting and I knew she'd be on board for anything. I didn't know quite how Kai would react. We'd been friends for so long, I figured this could put a strain on our relationship. After him… that left Lily. I'd been forcing her out of my thoughts the whole day. Once I fully... transitioned, we would be over. I pushed her out of my mind again and did my best to get some rest before dinner.

blue98

Am I proud of using that x-men pun so well even though I came up with it years ago? Yes. Yes I am. I think I'm hilarious.