Wednesday came and Sarah went off for her final surgeries. They had explained to us that even after we had completed our physical transitions, they liked to keep us around another month or so. I had the room to myself for the rest of the week. As the end of the third week drew to a close, I took the opportunity to really study my body. I was nearly at the androgynous phase. I could notice many small changes about myself that told me things were happening, but it really just looked like I lost a bit of weight. Since the changes didn't feel too different, I was still able to tuck it all away and ignore what was happening to me. The other guys were progressing faster than I was. Jordan was fully androgynous just like Sarah at the end of her first week. Lane was closer in timing to me, but he was still further along. Of all the guys in the facility, there was only a small portion that were as slow as I was.

Jordan had grown progressively quieter and quieter. If Sarah was on one end of the acceptance spectrum, Jordan seemed to be on the other. He never seemed comfortable anymore, and pulled away from most conversations Lane and I would have. While it gave Lane and me some great extra time to bond and pal around, it was starting to get a bit lonely. By the time the weekend hit, Sarah was released from recovery and moved back in with me. The last couple days of change really hammered home her new look. Her chest had really filled out and I guessed that she was definitely on the larger side. I had kinda tuned out for some of the anatomy lessons that covered it, but supposedly our genes already carried the code for our post-transition selves. So we looked more or less how we would have looked if we had been born cis females. Overall there was nothing masculine about her, but she still very much resembled her male self in certain ways.

We had all been notified that there was a bus going into the mall nearby for anyone who wanted to go. I hadn't really felt any need, but Sarah was ecstatic. I understood her point of view. While her shirts fit her more or less alright, the only pants that still fit her were sweatpants, and she had to be getting sick of just sports bras. After lots of pleading, I agreed to go on the condition that Lane come too. He didn't seem any more excited than I was, but he didn't reject the offer. I ran the idea by Jordan who meekly said he'd rather stay behind. I could tell that the transition was getting to be hard for him.

Saturday morning the four of us ate breakfast and the remaining three of us hopped on the bus. There weren't too many people going since only 10% of us were actually through with our changes and almost none were as gung-ho as Sarah. In fact, she spent the ride speculating about what she needed and what she might force us to get. Lane and I both groaned whenever she mentioned forcing us into things, but I could see Lane give a sly smirk each time Sarah looked away.

We arrived and each of the teens coming off the bus were given a chaperon. They were serious about keeping tabs on us while we were in the mall. Since the three of us were a clearly defined group, we only needed two.

Sarah seemed to be in some kind of heaven. It was euphoric. We bounced from store to store as she held things up and tried on a variety of clothing. Within a matter of minutes, she was throwing things at Lane and me as well. Since I was still very early into my changes I used it as an excuse. I claimed that things I bought now might not fit down the road. Lane gave me the stink-eye since he couldn't quite claim the same. Sarah threw shirts, pants, and even some dresses in his direction. Lane threw out most of the garments, although for posterity's sake he knew he had to hold on to a few. Sarah and Lane both went into the changing rooms, (fortunately they were unisex).

Sarah exited first in some tight shorts and loose crop top. I had never seen her happier. Her legs looked absolutely stunning in the shorts and the top did a good job of showing off her now ample upper body.

“This is just so strange,” she said as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. “I would never have expected to be so happy with… all this. It’s like, my eyes were opened to something I didn’t know I could be. And it's fun. Like there’s no more rules anymore. I never wanted to before, but I just like exploring all that I can do and have and be.”

Lane and I were speechless. She was really… enjoying it? For a moment it felt almost brainwashy, but I could tell there was a genuineness to her tone. Would… I get to feel that way? It would do a great deal to ease my anxiety if I truly knew that in my head everything would be alright.

Sarah turned around to see her two still male compatriots staring uncomfortably at the ground and began to ease into a wry smile. “Alright. In you go. I’ve hogged the spotlight enough.” Lane rolled his eyes as Sarah scooped all the clothing she’d picked out for him and dropped it in his arms before pushing him towards the dressing room.

A minute or two went by and we had to force Lane out of the room so that we could see what he'd tried on.

"Promise you won't laugh, alright!" Lane said sternly.

"We promise," Sarah and I said in unison.

Finally, Lane rounded the corner and we could see the outfit. He was wearing some jeans covered in fringy holes and a loose-fitting black t-shirt. He blushed harder than I thought possible. Sarah and I looked at each other before bursting out laughing. Lane complained but knew it was all in good fun. And in all honesty, he really did look good.

"I like those pants," Sarah said, "They really show off your hips."

Lane's eyes went wide with embarrassment. It was true though, the pants did a good job of highlighting his noticeably more feminine lower half.

"You give off e-girl vibes and honestly… you make it work," I said.

Lane was done, he gave us smirk and walked back into the dressing room. I could tell that even with all the teasing, he was ever so subtly enjoying himself.

Lane figured one runway show was enough and exited the room in what he'd worn, to begin with. Sarah indicated that she had a few more things to show us. We sighed and waited for her final exit. When she walked out Lane and I were stunned. She was wearing a blue paisley sundress that ended just above the knee. The dress did a fantastic job of showing off her toned legs, and (while I tried to not make a point of looking) showed just a hair of cleavage. In the back of my head, I had registered her as good looking, but at that moment she was gorgeous. Now it was her turn to blush.

"What do you think?" she asked.

I was at a loss for words so Lane chimed it, "You look fantastic."

Sarah smiled, "Really?" This time she made eye contact with me.

I nodded my head, "Definitely." She ran over to the two of us and hugged us tightly. After a moment she let go and went back into the dressing room.

We finished up and headed towards checkout. Sarah was getting an armful of items including activewear, makeup, casual clothes, you name it. She had also convinced the other two of us to both get at least something. Lane pretended to be reluctant about getting the jeans he'd tried on, but I could tell he was happy we'd forced him. He of course made it conditional on me getting something, so a nabbed some looser fit track pants that could work well before and after the transition. We finished up and headed back to the bus.

When we got back, we filled Jordan in on our misadventures. He laughed along with our stories, but I could tell he was happy he'd stayed behind. We spent the rest of the day playing ultimate with some of the other guys. "I'll be damned," I thought. Sarah might look different, but her ultimate game was still on point, not to mention her undeniable competitive streak.

Sunday flew by and before I knew it, so did Monday. It was time for therapy, so I sat down in my usual spot.

"I heard you went shopping this weekend. Find anything good?" Olivia asked knowingly.

"Nothing drastic, just some track pants," I responded, "Nothing compared to Lane and Sarah."

"How are they doing?"

"Sarah's like... she's not a whole new person, but she's definitely different than before." Olivia nodded her head to let me know she was listening. "And Lane's handling things better than he lets on, I think."

"And how about you?" she asked. I realized that this was what she'd been angling towards all along.

"Well, I still don't seem to be going through any changes… like nearly everyone else," I said.

Olivia agreed, "You do seem to be on the slower side, but still well within the range of normal."

"It’s just odd," I said, "It’s nice that things are gradual but..." I realized that I'd said way more than I was comfortable saying. I'd hoped Olivia would let things rest like she usually did, but she pressed on.

"But what?"

"Well," I took a moment before replying but she kept firm eye contact and I had nowhere to go but further down the rabbit hole, "It’s nice to see Sarah and even Lane settling into who they’re going to be or are or whatever. Since I'm not there yet, I'm still confused and anxious about who I'm… going to be." I let it hang in the air for a bit, hoping I'd given her enough, but Olivia wasn't backing down.

"Do you think you're... jealous?"

We'd both been thinking it, and she knew there was no way I was going to say it on my own. I avoided eye contact for as long as I could, but she met my gaze and I knew I had to respond.

I took a deep breath, "Maybe a little..." It was odd to say and it stung a little. I knew I couldn't take it back, but I also knew I was telling the truth. The way that Sarah saw herself and Lane too, they were both so comfortable and happy. Some part of me wanted that.

"I'm glad you had the courage to admit it," she said after a pause, "It isn't all that uncommon for those who go through the change slowly to feel some sort of longing like you do."

I guessed that helped soften the blow a little, but it still felt so odd, almost like I was traitor of sorts.

"Just know that if you have anything you need to say, you can," Olivia reassured me. I nodded. Then I did finally think of a question that had been on my mind since I saw Sarah in that dress.

"What’s the normal protocol on... attraction?" I asked.

This must have been a common question, because Olivia jumped right on it, "It's a mixed bag. Many tend to find that after they get adjusted, they're primarily attracted to boys, but that’s not to say there aren't plenty of people that either continues to or are newly attracted to girls. Occasionally they end up being attracted to everyone."

"How soon does it kick in... if I switch over I mean?" I asked nervously.

Another easy one for her, "Most of the time it's reported that you'll begin to experience shifts a few days or so after you've completed your transition, but as with the transition itself, that window could get bigger or smaller from person to person."

That had me a bit reassured. I wouldn't need to take things more than one step at a time. It also meant that I really could be attracted to Sarah, in some way. Her transition seemed to go really fast, I wondered if her orientation changed just as equally.

Olivia seemed to read my mind and chimed in, "Do you have your eye on someone?"

I could feel my face go red as I insisted that I didn't and I was just wondering in hypotheticals. She finally decided to let things rest and seemed to drop it.

We spent the rest of the session going over how classes were and some next steps on college applications. It was getting really close to needing to have submitted for early action. We ended after another few minutes and I headed back to my room.

I couldn't stop thinking about the session I'd just had. "Was I attracted to Sarah? Was it wrong to be? Why would it be wrong, she's a girl? Was I being unfaithful to Lily if I was? Did that even matter if I wouldn’t be attracted to her in the near future?" Questions rattled around until I got back to my room. I opened the door and saw that Sarah was already back from her day. I watched her work for a short while before she turned around and asked me how the day had been. I took a moment of awkward silence, but the truth was slowly dawning on me. She was like an older sister to me and honestly, I probably was a little jealous. Knowing that I had figured something like that out felt good. I sat down and vented about whatever lesson had been especially boring that day. We both chatted until it was time for dinner.