Seeing my parents and getting the letters from home had really given me a new wave of optimism that I hadn't realized I needed. Everything just seemed like it was all falling into place, so to speak. Classes certainly weren't a breeze, but it was an enticing challenge in a way school had never been before. My therapy sessions with Olivia certainly never got as deep as they did after Sarah finished her transition, but it was still nice to be able to bounce around any remaining questions I had.

After another week, Jordan's transition had run its course and he was taken in for final surgeries. The time after was visibly tough. For Sarah, the shift in pronouns was unspoken and synonymous with the timing of her name choice. Since Jordan never expressed interest in changing either, we stuck with the way we'd been doing things. He always looked very uncomfortable in his own skin and I didn't blame him. Of our group, he had the largest chest by a bit, and he looked classically beautiful. We all messed with one another, but we did our best to keep teasing Jordan to a minimum.

Lane had finished transitioning two weeks after that. Similar to Jordan, Lane was still holding onto the name, at least for now. The evening Lane got out of surgery we all sat down, and Lane expressed readiness for pronoun changes. Of course, we all teased her, but like Sarah, every time we used the new pronouns we could see her smile ever so slightly. Lane's wardrobe shifted to black leggings and ripped skinny jeans more often than not. She kept all her old shirts and I had to say the baggy shirt/tight pants combo really worked for her, especially when tied the front of the shirt into a tight knot. Lane's look complemented her pixie cut black hair quite nicely. Occasionally I caught myself checking her out. Honestly, everyone was checking everyone else out as far as I could tell. Something about shoving a bunch of hormone-filled teens into a confined space meant that either to judge our transitions against each other or for regular more sensual reasons we were eyeing each other like eagles.

Anyways, Jordan mostly stuck to sweat pants and hoodies. Mostly androgynous clothes that dwarfed and hid his figure.

Of course, the pinnacle of all this was my very own transition. Over the last three weeks, I had really started to lean in towards the feminine side, but as seemed to be the case, I was still a bit behind everyone else. My transition was more like Lane's than Sarah or Jordan’s. I could tell my hips were widening out, and my waist was receding, but I had very little development in my chest or face. I decided to start wearing a sports bra, but mostly just to fit in rather than due to any actual need. Since fall was starting to really hit in full force, I tended towards jeans and hoodies more than anything else. Sarah kept threatening me with a skirt but seeing as she had only gotten Lane to wear it once she gave up any real hope of making me. My hair was growing out though. I'd always known that I had curly hair, but since I'd never let it grow to any length, I'd never known just how curly it would get. Some days it was more frizz than anything else, but most of the time I had tight ringlets that came almost to my shoulders. I figured most people would now peg me as a girl, but every once in a while I could see my more masculine features show through.

Naturally, the more apparent physical changes were accompanied by more minute and nuanced mental ones. The thought of picking a name or changing pronouns left my stomach in knots. I wanted to be a guy, and hold onto what I'd been my entire life, but it was slowly getting harder. I had begun to avoid looking at my own reflection as much as possible. I'm not sure if it was fear of seeing a face that didn't belong to me, or fear that I might see one that did. There was a day where I considered trying out some gender-neutral pronouns, but that just felt like more work than it was worth. I felt lost and confused about what to pick, and guilty that I was somehow "giving in".

If they discovered a cure that day, I would no doubt have taken them up on it, but I could see it no longer being the case in few months... and that terrified me.

As Monday came and went we were slowly realizing that our time together was going to start coming to an end. Sarah had been post-op for one month come the end of the week, at which point she would head home. Two or three weeks after that, Lane and Jordan would be heading back as well. We all got together on Tuesday evening during dinner and decided we'd throw our own little going away party Friday night. Even Jordan was looking forward to it.

Classes that had seemed to go by so quickly now felt as though they took days to get through. By the time of my Wednesday therapy session, I was beyond ready for Friday.

Olivia greeted me as she always did, and I sat down. I don't remember at what point I changed seats, but I realized that I sat in the adjacent chair to her, instead of the one at the opposite end of the room.

"So, Isaac. I take it you're getting close to finishing your transition?"

"I guess so," I replied.

"Well as it draws nearer, I'm required to go over a couple of bits of information with you."

I figured as much. The gang hadn't really spoken too much to me about the specifics of what they went through, but I got the feeling I was missing some prime info.

"I know that I'm going to need... some surgeries." No matter how you slice it, this was an awkward topic.

Olivia nodded, "By the time you leave, you'll be almost indistinguishable from any cis-female. You won't be able to have children just yet, but medical science is only a few years away from figuring it out. I assume by the time you come to a decision on that part of your life, all options will be open to you."

Even after all that I and everyone else had been going through, the thought of having children myself hadn't crossed my mind.

"I take it that means I won't have a... menstrual cycle then?" I ask bluntly.

"Correct, but again things are constantly changing."

Most of me was relieved, but part of me was a little bit saddened. It’s not that I wanted monthly periods, but it was a bit of a letdown to think that after all I'd go through I still wouldn't be at 100%. It was like I couldn't catch a break.

"Anything else I need to know?"

"That's pretty much it. The surgery itself takes a few hours and you'll be out of commission for a few days, but nothing your friends haven't gone through."

Everything seemed to make sense so we finished up and I went straight to dinner. We were all buzzing about what the plans were for Friday. The consensus was one giant game night, winner takes all. Without much to do, all four of us had become experts at most games we could get our hands-on. Even Jordan could hold his own.

We finished up dinner and headed up for bed. I woke up several times throughout the night due to the amount of pain I was experiencing. Once morning finally came, I took a moment to really check myself out in the mirror. Just about every part of me was different now. Last night had pushed me over the edge. When I looked in the mirror, I saw a 17-year-old girl starring back at me. I got dressed and the sensation only heightened. Sarah and I headed down to breakfast. After nearly two months of me getting to make jokes about the other three, all the floodgates were being let loose.

"So I always knew I had been a loud sleeper those first weeks, but damn there's no way I was that loud," Sarah said, "Good thing you have the goods to show for it." She motioned to my chest and I suddenly felt very self-conscious. If I had to guess I was somewhere around a 34C, and since I wasn't used to them just yet, it was obvious the one sports bra wasn't cutting it. I could feel my face getting redder than usual.

Lane chimed in, “It sucks doesn't it? It’s like I traded in one shitty way of hiding my emotions for another. And not even in the face,” she said motioning to the most forward area of her breasts.

That one had me laughing pretty good. Bodies are weird.

As breakfast continued, so did the remarks and jokes, and even Jordan got a couple in. After so long of watching everything happen to others, it was nice to finally be included myself. I could see why Sarah had been so animated those first few days.

As breakfast finished up, one of the attendants walked over and pulled me aside. She said that my surgery was scheduled for around noon that day.

As I sat back down the three began smiling profusely. Finally, Lane broke the tension, "So when's the big moment?"

"Noon," I replied.

"Wow, you ready?" Sarah asked.

I took a moment to really take stock of myself before answering, "Yeah."

Everyone had real proud looks on their faces. I took it all in, before comically leaning, "So what's it like?" That whispering, laughing, and some lovingly rude gestures.

Sarah took point, "It's over so fast for you, that you don't even realize what’s happened. It'll be a few days of discomfort, but it healed up pretty quick for me."

Then a sad thought struck me, "I hope I'm out by Friday night."

"Don't worry," Sarah said, "They're not taking me before all four of us get our party on."

Breakfast wound down and all three of them headed off to their classes. I went back to my room and got a couple of things ready. Most importantly I took my final photo for the project. I still had time to kill so I spread them all out to form a time-line. It was crazy how much had happened over just the last month and a half. I looked at the first picture I took for the project. I knew it was me, but it was weird identifying with it. Even since my time looking in the mirror this morning, I'd already flipped. It was like a reverse. That the male version of me was exactly that. A version of me, but not me.

There was a knock on my door and I realized I'd killed a lot of time. I tidied up the photos and stepped out the door.

The attendant walked me over to the medical wing and gave me a hospital gown to change into. I quickly changed over and handed her my clothes. The gown didn't protect me much from the temperature and I could feel my body reacting to the cold of the medical wing.

I walked over and followed the attendant to the surgery room. Then I laid down on what looked like a cross between an operating table and a dentist's chair. This was it, I'd go to sleep and wake up having completed my transition. They gave me some sedatives and anesthesia and within a few minutes, I was out cold.