Part 3

I kept crying for at least an hour. Every time I tried to get up and get a hold of myself, the tears pushed harder. Thoughts floated through my head. Some were more upbeat: that my parents still loved me. Others less so, like I was undeserving of anything after what I'd done. What I'd done to Lily twice. What I'd done to everyone.

I wanted desperately to just be near someone who wouldn't interrogate me like I knew my parents would. Sarah would have been a good option, but she was miles away and I wasn't in the mood to talk. I thought about Jordan, but they’d more than likely just get overwhelmed.

I kept circling back to one person in particular, but I knew he'd never come. That didn't stop me from sending out one final cry for help.

"Kai. Please... I really need you right now," was all I sent.

I stared at my phone waiting, as my vision was again blurred by tears. I threw my phone up against the wall, knowing that reaching out had been in vain. Another half an hour passed with no noise except for a few muted sounds I let out.

I saw car lights pull into the driveway and groaned. I just didn't have it in me to deal with my parents, but I certainly didn't have the energy to move away from the door. The lights clicked off and I heard every step until I was caught off guard by a knock on the door. Then the door opened, and instead of my mom standing in the door frame, it was Kai.

My eyes stung as even more tears hit. I was swallowed up by guilt that I didn't deserve him now that he was actually here.

Kai stood for another few seconds, slowly closing the door. I knew I looked like an absolute basket case, but he just leaned up against the wall and sat down next to me, without a word.

I pulled my knees to my chest and let loose. It wasn't long before I felt Kai put an arm around me in a brotherly fashion. I leaned into him and continued to bawl. We sat there for another few minutes, without any words. I couldn't vocalize what having him there meant to me, but he seemed to understand. My tears began to dry up and he walked into the kitchen for a few and returned with a mug of tea. He set it down next to me, without forcing me to drink it. I flashed the best smile I could muster, which was probably just less of a frown.

I held the warm mug up to my face and just let the steam waft up to hit my face. Then I took a sip and I felt warmth as it spread through my body. I closed my eyes and leaned up against the wall, finally starting to relax ever so slightly. We both sat as I drank the tea. Once I finished it, he picked it up, walked into the kitchen, and cleaned it.

The tea had given me enough energy to stand up, and I followed him into the kitchen, but he caught me and directed me towards my bedroom. I let out a sigh of reluctant agreement. He walked by my side to make sure I wasn't going to fall, which was unnecessary, but a nice gesture.

I flopped on the bed, and could already feel myself falling asleep. As Kai was headed out of the room I stopped him.

"Kai..." He turned around. "Thanks," I said.

“You got it.” He gave me a faint smile and closed the door. I was out within the minute.

Kai had pulled through. He knew me well enough to know what I needed and what I didn't. I couldn't help but continue to feel guilty, that I'd tossed him aside and he'd come for me, but I was happy to have him.

I stumbled out of bed the next morning and took a forty-minute shower to decompress and make sure I was able to handle the day ahead of me.

I got to school very early and waited for the others to arrive. Sadie came in first. She caught my eye and sat down across the auditorium, but I picked up and moved next to her.

"Sadie," I probed.

"I'm not going to talk to you," she replied curtly and without making eye contact.

"I fucked up. Royally. I couldn't handle it, and I was supposed to be the one making things better. I hurt Lily, and I hurt you... Sadie, I'm sorry."

After I finished my mini-speech I walked back over to where I was sitting before and left her alone. I couldn't help but notice Lily never showed up at the auditorium. I didn't think much of it, assuming she was avoiding me. I went through my day and did my best to focus on school. At lunch, I found Kai and the two of us ate in silence. I looked around and couldn't see Lily anywhere in the cafeteria. That had me worried. I started texting around to a couple of people she was friends with in her classes asking if they'd seen her. The answer was unanimous: she hadn't shown up for class that day.

I relayed the information to Kai.

"Sadie needs to know," he said.

I took a deep breath, "You're right."

I got up and walked over to her, with Kai right behind me. She just looked down at her food and ignored my presence.

"Sadie, no one has seen Lily today. Did she tell you she was staying home?" I asked urgently.

She frowned and looked up at me, concerned. That only scared me more.

"No. She made it clear that she was coming in today," she said.

Alarm bells were going off all over. "Are you sure?"

"Definitely. She said she'd text me if she changed her mind."

"I think we need to tell the office," Kai chimed in grimly.

Sadie and I nodded in agreement. The three of us stood up and speed-walked to the front office.

"We'd like to talk to Vice Principal Williams, please," Sadie requested.

We were directed to sit, and a moment or two later, Ms. Williams walked out.

"What's this about?" she asked.

"Lily Campbell," I responded, "She's not at school today, and we worried that--"

Ms. Williams cut me off, "Her father called her in sick today."

The look of worry spread across all of our faces.

Sadie chimed in, "But she said she'd text me if she wasn't able to come to classes today, and I've had no messages from her since yesterday."

"I'm sure she's been sleeping all day and that's why she hasn't returned your messages. Now if you'll excuse me." Ms. Williams walked back into our office, and the receptionist at the desk told us to go back to lunch. It was clear that none of us were convinced by the "home sick" excuse.

Sadie piped up, "Something's up and I'm worried. Meet me at my car after school. We're gonna head over there and make sure Lily's okay."

"Shouldn't we call the police?" I asked.

"The police will just settle on the same conclusion as Ms. Williams," Kai replied.

I was trying to keep my voice down, but was still quite loud, "Guys, her dad threatened me--"

"Which is exactly why we need to make sure she's okay," Sadie said, cutting me off.

As we got to the cafeteria, the bell rang for us to return to class. It was settled.

We were going to drive to Lily's and make sure she was okay, regardless of the consequences.