54: Potential
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The view of the mountains was beautiful enough to make me forget about the poison and Mother’s revelation for a moment. It had taken some more time until we could leave, and I didn’t know how long I’d waited in that room before that, but at some point dawn had come. Now, the sun was just leaving the horizon behind, sending its rays out over the Central Mountains.

I stood on a hilly outcropping a little further down from the real peaks, but with a great view over a valley in the mountains. A few clouds decorated the horizon, adding to the scenic beauty. The morning wind pulled at my clothes, a simple but durable set of robes. The fresh air made me feel a little better.

But I shook my head and turned away from contemplating the scenery, instead focusing on my immediate surroundings. A small group of us had traveled here by airship. Mostly guards, who surrounded us in a wide perimeter now, all of them probably Mother’s personal guard. Then there were Mother herself, Kariva and Alaster. I’d thought about calling Tenira to accompany me, but something made me hesitate.

Maybe I didn’t want to burden her with it, but it might just be that I didn’t want her to see me like this.

“So, what are we doing here?” I asked, pushing useless thoughts aside.

“This part of the mountains is home to many spirits,” Mother answered. “Especially the area further up here. It’s where their influence is felt strongly. There’s a sort of … special place up ahead. A particular phenomenon of qi. You should be able to enter it and, hopefully, awaken a connection to the Moon.”

I frowned at that. “Why go here, and not, say, to a shrine of the Moon?”

She shrugged. “It’s where I went to do that bargain. Yeah, I could have gone to the shrine, but this is, well, more suitable. More private. Come on, I’ll take you there.” She glanced at the others. “The rest of you, stay here.”

Al rushed me again for another hug. I returned it and ruffled his hair. “Hey, it’s okay, I’ve got this. I’ll come back healthy soon, okay?”

“You’d better, Nari.”

I nodded at Kariva, then turned to follow Mother, who had already started walking.

After a minute of walking up a hilly slope leading to a rocky area, I decided I might as well pry a little. Walking was taking a toll on me, more than it should, but Mother kept the pace slow enough that I didn’t have trouble talking. “So, how did this bargain work? What’d you give him?”

“The heart of a sea dragon,” Mother answered matter-of-factly. “A powerful object containing a lot of qi, out of the Imperial treasury. It could have been used to craft a powerful artifact, but overall that’s not such a big deal.” She frowned a little. “Although it probably wasn’t much more than a snack for him. We should assume he had his own reasons to agree to it.”

“And how did it work? Did he take on a human form, like an avatar, or just some magic stuff?”

Mother cleared her throat, not looking at me. “Well, you want me to get into the specifics?”

“On second thought,” I said. “I don’t think I want to hear any details.” Those might be gross, I could live with being curious.

The next few minutes, we walked in silence. We’d started to get into more mountainous terrain, with rocky walls rising around us. It was also getting darker as we entered a bank of fog. Despite the poison, I could still sense the qi in it. The whole area was odd, with the qi having a different feeling than I was used to. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but the sensation increased as we went further.

Finally, we came out of a small valley into an open area nestled between rock walls and cliffs. Mother stopped. “It’s probably best if you go on alone from here.”

I glanced down, but couldn’t see the others. Mother remained standing here, and I could see the tension in her posture.

“You still haven’t told me why you went to the Moon,” I said quietly.

Mother chuckled a little. “That part’s the hardest to tell, to be honest. And I’m not quite sure how to put it.”

I frowned. I could see she was clearly bothered by all of this. “Was it about Carston?”

“No, not really.” Mother shook her head, looking down at the valley. “There was always a lot of pressure to produce an heir. I could have ignored it, but I felt like I needed to do it. For the sake of stability. And I did want children. But it was a big risk, in a way.” She glanced at me. “You probably understand that. My child would most likely inherit the throne. While I was confident in my own judgment, that I was doing good things with introducing civil rights and such, could I say the same about any prospective heir? Or ensure that my child would be strong enough to prevail?”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything. I could relate, but didn’t like the implications.

“Well, here’s the answer,” Mother said, not looking at me. “The best one I found, at least. I bargained with the Moon so the child would not only be strong enough to claim the throne. I bargained for an heir. For someone who could be the best ruler the Empire might have.”

I swallowed. That’s a hell of a thing to say. I took a step forward, shaking my head. “How could you be sure of that? Personality isn’t determined exclusively by someone’s genes.”

“Well, of course I can’t be sure.” Mother laughed curtly. “Of course a lot of things could happen, and I had no guarantee you would survive. I only ensured you had the potential for it.”

I took another few steps forward, getting a bit of distance, and looked out over the valley. “I guess I get it. Looking at it objectively, I’m impressed. Their heir is one of the most important factors for how much good or bad a ruler does, long-term. Actually using magic to help with that, going to spirits like that? Admirable, in a way.” But that doesn’t mean I like it.

I still didn’t look at her. I heard how she took a step, though. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“It’s still a shitty thing to do on a personal level.”

She stayed still and didn’t say anything to that.

“Well,” I took a deep breath. “See you on the other side.”

Not looking back, I walked forward, into the mist. It didn’t take long for it to swallow any sense of Acura’s presence. The place I went to didn’t have any clear boundaries, but I gradually entered something that clearly felt different. Or maybe just a different way of perceiving things?

I was still reeling from the revelation she’d just shared. But I tried not to think about it, to push those considerations and emotions aside. I was here to awaken my bloodline, my connection to the Moon, however that might work. That was all.

I could feel my surroundings slowly changing around me. It wasn’t like stepping into another dimension, more like the place warped around me. I still had trouble perceiving qi, but my senses actually seemed to sharpen. At least in a way. They also shrunk, making it hard to perceive my surroundings more than a few meters around me, even though I could feel the qi around me in a way I’d never encountered before. The whole thing reminded me a lot of the spirits I’d encountered. The sensation of the qi, its smell or taste, if it had one, seemed familiar and yet much more potent.

The ground around me flattened out until I stood on a plain, not the rocky terrain I’d been walking on before. It stretched away from me, smooth as glass. The air was still, not a hint of a gust, yet it didn’t smell stale.

Slowly, I became aware that I was not alone. I couldn’t tell whether it was because I saw them or sensed them with my qi senses, but I noticed that other figures existed in this strange place. They were spirits, of course. Their forms indistinct, sometimes changing, the feel of their qi unmistakable. Some of them seemed like animals, some had humanoid shapes. I could sense different levels of strength among them, although no one beyond the spirit I’d encountered in that forest. As I continued walking, I noticed more of them showed up, coming closer towards me.

At some point, I stopped. “Greetings. I have come here in search of my connection to one of the Greater Spirits.”

My words were swallowed by the mist of qi in the air, sounding small and weak in this place. Although a few of the spirits showed activity in response to them, moving around and acting curious, without coming any closer.

After a minute of waiting, I noticed movement in one direction. They seemed to be retreating? No, giving way to someone else. Another spirit advanced towards me, this one noticeably stronger than the rest. They had a humanoid form, even showing details like long hair blowing in the nonexistent wind, although their body shape was androgynous and their face blurry. They felt familiar, as if I might have met them or a related spirit before.

‘There you are, hidden light.’ The spirit cocked its head. ‘I do not think you will find what you really wish for here.’

It waved an arm, and the lesser spirits scattered, vanishing into the depths of this place quickly.

‘Who ever gets what they really wish for?’ I asked, crossing my arms. ‘In any case, I find myself curious about this place, and your folk. Will you tell me more?’

They turned away without answering and started walking. I hesitated for a moment, surprised, then hurried to join them. My body protested the movement, weakness dogging my limbs, but I didn’t care. I needed to follow this spirit, if they were the only one inclined to talk. They must have come to me for a reason, after all.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, the spirit let out a whistling sigh. ‘My time is not unlimited, Little Light. And neither is yours.’

I tried to suppress my annoyance. ‘Will you tell me about this place and what I’m supposed to do, then?’

‘This place is of no consequence. Simply a gathering spot away from humans. You could find the same in many places. As to what you’re supposed to do, you should know that.’

I sighed. ‘Yes, I’m supposed to awaken my bloodline from the Greater Spirit of the Moon.’

‘For your sake, I certainly hope you can do better at it than you are now.’

I huffed. ‘I’m sure I can do whatever is necessary, if only I had some guidance.’

The spirit turned their head to look at me and raised a suddenly more defined eyebrow. ‘And yet, you have not once so much as used his name.’

That shut me up for a moment.

‘I was under the impression humans were supposed to care about family connections,’ the spirit said, its tone now clearly prodding. ‘Are you not moved by the prospect of meeting your real father? Perhaps you are feeling hurt.’

I huffed again, something about their words and tone of voice rubbing me the wrong way. ‘I have a real father, my dad. And he must be grieving my death right now.’

The spirit chuckled, a rumbling sound like that didn’t quite fit its ethereal appearance. It reminded me where I may have met them before, when a spirit came to warn me against going south to the war.

‘What’s the point of this conversation, anyway?’ I asked, annoyed.

‘Perhaps there is none. You cannot hope to connect to your dormant potential if you do not accept yourself.’

I stopped walking, which caused the spirit to stop as well. ‘You don’t know me. How would you know if I accept myself? Because that sounds more like fortune cookie advice than anything helpful.’

The spirit cocked their head again. `You cannot even bear to ponder the basis of your creation. If the prospect of being made for ruling is so terrifying, how would you ever awaken your bloodline?’

I ground my teeth and glared at them, wondering how they knew about that. Maybe they’d listened to our conversation outside. I wanted to refute it and rant at them, but I stopped myself, took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. I needed to be in control of myself and able to face some personal enlightening, from the sounds of this.

‘It is time to give you something more challenging, and let you test yourself with more than words.’

The spirit smiled and waved at me. Before I could answer, the qi around us started rippling, coming from their hand. It distorted around us, bringing back the nausea I’d forgotten about since coming here.

When the wave passed, the spirit was gone and I stood alone. My surroundings had changed as well. Rather than the formless mist of qi, they now consisted of colors and forms.

I sighed, straightened my shoulders, and focused. If they wanted to give me a test of character, I’d play along.

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