Aaron lived in the same complex as I did, so hardly a minute passed before I was banging on his —her —their door. I’d ended the call fairly abruptly, but that was because I wanted to see everything with my own eyes.

 

The door opened. A feminine looking person who resembled Aaron and was about my height with wavy mousy brown hair and equally brown eyes stood opposite me.

 

“Hey, Zoe…” The person flashed me a nervous but genuine grin that was a tad lopsided in just the right way. It couldn’t be anyone else.

 

“Aa—Aaron?”

 

“That’s me.” They did the same little jazz hands Aaron would always do. Evidence was piling up. The person I was assuming to be Aaron pulled me inside and moved me over to the couch before giving me a gentle push downward so that I would sit and stare instead of standing and staring.

 

“So…” the person began.

 

“So…” I agreed. Then I blinked a couple times. “Are you…?” I didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

 

“A… girl? I—I think so,” the Aaron person responded.

 

“You’re definitely Aaron.” Both of us nodded in agreement. “You don’t have to be a girl you know. Just because you—” I motioned to Aaron’s body, “doesn’t mean you have to—“ I motioned to my head in general, unable to put the complexities of gender identity into words at that precise moment.

 

Aaron blinked a couple times and then seemed to understand. “I know… but I feel such a strong push that I don’t think I can think of myself as anything other than—” and motioned to her body.

 

“Oh…” I didn’t know what to say. I woke up today ready to bullshit a Spanish quiz and not an hour later was grappling with the fact that my best friend just transitioned in about as much time.

 

“I woke up this way and it all feels so overwhelming that I just can’t seem to see myself as anything other than… a girl.”

 

I just stared at her wide-eyed. It was weird. Not that she was weird, just the situation was a little more unprecedented than I would have been otherwise prepared for.

 

“So like… you want me to use she/her?”

 

Aaron nodded.

 

I took in a deep breath and held it, then audibly expelled it.

 

“Cool,” I said.

 

“Cool,” she replied.

 

“What now?”

 

She shrugged.

 

“I’m supposed to stay put until I can go into the health center for a checkup.”

 

“That sounds boring. And after the boring kinda scary. I mean, you seem so chill about all this.” It wasn’t a question per se, but I expected an answer.

 

“I dunno. Like I said, I’m so overwhelmed with how to feel that dealing with it is the easiest way out.”

 

We both silently nodded.

 

“Wanna play smash?” she asked.

 

“Sure,” I replied.

 

We did. I won.

 

~~~Three weeks later~~~

 

Thursday – 3:12 pm

Abby: made some new friends at the noob group

Zoe: cool

Abby: we’re all gonna go and get some better fitting stuff this weekend if you wanna join

Zoe: that seems like a noob thing, I’m not sure I’d fit in

Abby: the whole point is that none of us fit in. I’m sure some of the other girls would love to have a vet show us the ropes

Zoe: I’m not sure that I’m the best vet for that job

Abby: any vet is a good vet

Zoe: so I’m “any vet” huh?

Abby: not what I meant, you pleb

Zoe: you sure it won’t be weird?

Abby: who cares if it is?

Zoe: me… I thought that was obvious

Abby: come on. They’re all super nice girls. I promise we won’t bite

Zoe: …

Zoe: fine

Abby: sweet!

 

After Abby’s first checkup, she was put in quarantine for a week. Upon release from quarantine, she was determined to be physically fine and mentally also fine. But she and all the other “noobs” were forced to have mandatory group therapy sessions every Thursday. After her first one, she decided to change her name from Aaron to Abby. After this most recent one, she and the other “noobs” decided they wanted a cis girl also known as a “vet” which was short for “veteran” to show them around a clothing store. They didn’t need me. I understood why they needed new clothes, but I severely doubted that I was the one to guide them through this experience. I mean, sure, there were loads of people around campus that were rejecting the noobs, and I was one of the nicer people towards them but… this was a pseudo-worldwide event. 1% of guys ages 14 – 55 and residing in affected countries had physically and it seemed also mentally transitioned upon waking up.

 

Overnight noobs had woken in the United States, India, Canada, Brazil, France, Australia, and Germany. Each country was going about handling noobs differently and with varying degrees of success. Canada, France, and Germany had embraced noobs within an almost shockingly short amount of time… not that that was a bad thing. The rest of the seven countries had middling experiences, and in the US it was largely locality by locality as to how noobs were being accepted and treated. I think it’s probably no big shock which areas were more accepting than others.

 

Being on a large college campus probably helped the noobs that were currently attending. Our university, while not the most progressive, was quite inclusive when it tried. Noobs got all the benefits of University services, so the transition and reintegration into their lives had gone smoothly from what I could tell. If Abby’s experience was indicative of the rest, then the noobs had a pretty easy-going experience all things considered.

 

After Friday classes were over, I pulled up in front of Abby’s and my apartment complex as she and three of her fellow noobs hopped in my car.

 

“Hey, Zoe. You look so good today! Lovin the leather jacket.”

 

“Uh… ya, Jess. Ditto,” I replied.

 

Abby sat in the passenger seat, so I wasn’t totally lonely on the drive to our nearest clothing store, but I was having trouble picking up the conversation. After the week the girls had spent together in quarantine, they had already connected on such a level that it was difficult for an outsider to participate. Or… maybe that’s how I justified keeping quiet.

 

We got to Target, which was first on our list, and the five of us headed in. Our small group consisted of myself, Abby, Jess, Macie, and Olivia. Jess was exceptionally chipper. Like, she exuded so much energy I struggled to keep myself in check because happy high-energy people typically got under my skin. Macie was quieter but would always make sure everyone’s voice around her was being heard. Again, that sounded like a good quality, but as someone who typically liked to blend into the background, it took a bit of a toll to always be so “on” around those two. Finally, Olivia was typically off in her own world. Next to Abby, she was the one I stuck around the most. Every once in a while, she might ask me some sideways out of nowhere question, but I could usually rest assured she’d occupy herself and I could use her presence as an escape from the rest of the group.

 

To reiterate, all of the noobs I’d interacted with were nice but often took a toll on my psyche. I felt a bit guilty about my inability to handle the noobs’ personalities, but what really had me feeling guilty was how jealous I got at times. Not just jealous of their seemingly unbreakable (yet brand new) social bond… but jealous of something I criticized myself for being jealous of: their looks.

 

Every single noob I’d interacted with so far was gorgeous! Take Abby. She’d been completely normal before, but where she’d had a bit of chunk before, now she had perfect curves. She seemed so evenly distributed it was like she’d walked out of a magazine, and the other noobs were no exception. Each was their own special brand of idealized beauty. We didn’t know what had done this to them, but it wasn’t uniform in its physical changes. From what I could tell the girls all strongly resembled their pre-transition selves. It was frustrating to see these perfect girls, with perfect new friends. I hated myself for seeing it that way but failed to see it any other way.

 

“Zoe, come on!” Abby said as she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the clearance aisle of the clothing section.

 

The noobs were immediately holding up items and quizzing each other on what would look best with what. I wandered over towards Olivia who was absent-mindedly sifting through clothes on the rack. I felt guilty for wanting a reprieve already, but this was going to be a long afternoon, so I needed to pace myself.

 

I looked over Olivia’s shoulder for a minute or so, either nodding or shaking my head at items as she held them up to me every time with her cutesy smile that almost felt a bit contagious. Then I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to face a mountain of clothing that was dumped into my arms.

 

“Whaaaats this?” I asked Abby, who had jettisoned the items onto me.

 

“We’re not leaving you out Zoe! We couldn’t just ask you for advice, it’s your reward.”

 

“Oh… you know. Helping is reward enough,” I retorted, trying to get the attention off me before I burst into flames.

 

“Just try them on. I bet you’ll look super cute in at least something.” I felt a sucker punch to the gut in the best way possible.

 

Since she’d returned from quarantine, when Abby wasn’t with noobs, she was hanging out with me. Mostly just us doing the stuff we always did, but just more. Something was noticeably different for me though. Before it had always been the two us versus the world. We’d felt a sort of comradery in that. Lately, we weren’t alone anymore, but that wasn’t what was different. Well, not exactly. Where before we’d been allies, now we were… friends. She’d flash me her slightly lopsided grin and I’d be unable to stop one from appearing on my own face. Abby’d just had that effect on me since her transition.

 

So, when she stood in front of me, said I’d look cute, and flashed me that smile… I couldn’t help but follow her in.