Orders racked up both online and from the constant stream of customers walking in the door. Dani struggled to keep which drink needed which milk, or flavoring, or whether to be shaken or not, straight in her head.

She was trying to remember which cup was supposed to have oat milk when she heard the bell ring by the door and another two college students walked in.

God, can everyone just relax?! I know Andrew warned me that winter could get hectic, but I didn’t know it was this bad.

Chris was manning the register, juggling between yelling out orders and helping with the drinks himself. Each new order, Dani could feel his patience waning. His voice got louder and more stern. His forced smiles to customers were replaced with quick grins and then scowls the minute they turned away.

Dani didn’t blame him. She might have felt the same way if she had to face uncaring customers on such a busy day. Thankfully her break was approaching, and Andrew had just arrived and was removing his coat, blurting out a slurry of thanks and apologies while he prepared to help out.

“I’ll be ready in a minute!” Her manager yelled from the back.

At the promise of relief, Dani was met with a new burst of energy to finish up the two drinks she was making. The distracting chatter became easy to ignore. The lights that were amplifying her headache moments ago suddenly became bearable. A few more minutes and she was free… for fifteen minutes.

She was pressing a flimsy lid down onto a cup when Andrew walked into her field of view, straightening his apron.

“Alright, Dani. Go sit down for a bit.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder to the break room behind him. “But not too long! Chris needs his break soon too.”

Dani nodded and set the cup on the counter. “Perfect timing, thanks!”

Chris hadn’t looked over at all, still engrossed in his own tasks.

Well it was a pleasure working with you… I guess.

Her initial worries of having to work alongside Chris were quickly doused, and it was the first time since she came out that he didn’t shoot any weird looks at her. He still didn’t look happy to be there, but that was normal for him.

Maybe the novelty wore off? Could be the first time he’d ever met a trans person. Heck, I’m the first time I’d ever met a trans person.

Dani made her way out of the chaos and into the small but cozy break area. She could still see half of the main room from the wooden table that resided in the center, but at least a lot of the noise was muffled by the portion of wall between her and the general public.

For the first few minutes of her break, she sat on a stray chair and rested her head on her arms, which she crookedly folded on top of the table. Worries of her apartment, of Ryan pulling away, of her and Simon’s friendship changing into something new, maybe worse, prodded at the edge of her thoughts. But at the center of it all, she was just happy to have a moment to relax away from customers, coworkers, and even roommates.

Even if I’m happier being out, life hasn’t gotten a whole lot easier. But, it’s better than going through all of this while hating myself.

She pulled out her phone, her bad habits deciding that the best way to spend her break was watching a mix of videos about new makeup styles and old video games. One day she hoped to be brave enough to wear more than a simple, natural look, but until then she vowed to live vicariously through artists on the internet. Her current style proved to work how she wanted, with strangers gendering her as a woman. Even her coworkers seemed to adjust quickly, with only one pronoun screw up during a meeting, and that was the same day she had come out.

As each video played, time slipped away faster and faster. Dani went from learning a new combo to beat Ryan next time they played video games, to studying a technique for winged eyeliner, all the way to a true crime video about a horrific serial killer who was never caught, until she noticed that her break had only one minute left.

Seriously, already? I just sat down! She went to put her phone into sleep mode so she could stand up and stretch before another couple hours of work, when she bumped the top of her screen and dragged down her notifications. Sitting there, ignored for the whole day, was her reminder to take her pills. Oh God, I was supposed to take them in the car before I started working! It’s been a while, should I not bother? But I missed a dose yesterday too… I really should just pop them before I go back out there.

She got up and scurried to the coat hangers, grabbing her water bottle off of the shelf on the way. Her new jacket was big, puffy, and made it much easier to hide her two small pill bottles with minimal discomfort. Normally she wouldn’t leave them in her pockets all day, but her intended plan to leave them in her glove compartment failed when she forgot about them entirely.

With a quick unzip, she pulled out the first bottle. That was her blocker. Its job was to stop her body from developing any further in the “male” direction, while her other hormones did their thing. It was small and easy to gulp down with a swig of water.

The next one was the real star of the show: estradiol. It was her replacement hormone, and the one responsible for all of her changes over the past year. She tossed it in her mouth and filled the rest with water, ready to swallow when she heard a voice.

“Are you taking pills?” Chris said.

Dani nearly choked, having to cover her mouth with her hand to stop more than a couple drips from leaking out until she could regain her composure and get the small blue tablet down.

When she turned, Chris was standing on the other side of the tiny break room, a look of concern and distrust on his face.

“Yes, but– Like, it’s medicine.” Dani stammered out an answer to hopefully convince him that she wasn’t getting high on the job. “It’s hormones. Trans stuff. I swear, it’s nothing illegal, you can check the bottles if you want.”

She wondered if it was even okay for him to ask her what pills she was taking, though she then remembered he didn’t ask for specifics, and she offered them on her own accord.

He didn’t look satisfied. “Right. So Andrew knows about it?”

“No, why would he have to?” She tucked the pill bottle back into her coat pocket and zipped it up tight, her eyes never turning away from Chris. “If I had allergy medication, would I have to tell him that? I’m sure he wouldn’t care, anyway.”

Chris pursed his lips. “So what, you got that from a legit doctor?”

“I did…” Dani started to grow concerned. She thought a day working with him would have made things mellow out, but all of his strange glances and borderline leering was fresh in her mind. “I’m serious, it’s nothing bad. It’s your turn for a break, right? Is that why you came back here?”

He nodded slowly, now staring at the floor.

Dani crept around the table, still nervous at his strange behavior. “Then I’ll get back to helping–”

“Wait.” Chris sidestepped in front of Dani, to which she held up her arms and leapt back with a small yelp.

“Hey, man, we can ask him if you think I’m breaking any rules or whatever!” She didn’t like it, but noticed her trained voice slipping into a lower range as fear built up.

“Sorry, no, I didn’t mean to freak you out.” He held up open palms as a gesture of peace and began to look up off the floor, barely meeting Dani’s eyes. “I just wanted to ask some more questions really quick, if that’s alright.”

Woah, what? His whole vibe is completely different. He looks more scared than I did a second ago.

“Um, what kind of questions?” Dani asked, still preparing herself for the worst.

Chris sighed. “Just, how did you know that you were trans?”

Oh, Dani thought, realization still dawning on her. Is that why he’s been acting strange since I came out? Because he… Because… Oh!