Only with the freedom and courage to laugh at the heavens, will you stand a chance to break through their chains that bind you.

It was a beautiful summer afternoon on the Brighton Beach boardwalk in Brooklyn, NY.

'This damn sun...'

Alex was taking Barney, his bull terrier dog, for his daily walk. He played PUBG and enjoyed the fresh sea air, while Barney waved his head sniffing every which way, the sun gleaming off his pearly white coat.

Suddenly, Alex felt a tug on the leash. He looked over and saw Barney sprinting in his direction, with a fresh hotdog captured between his teeth and a shifty look in his eyes, especially the right eye with that black patch.

Alex knew that look. His eyes traced towards the scene of the crime. A huge thickboi was gaining momentum, warming up the rockets to blast off in Alex's direction.

This was a classic textbook case of it's time to get the hell out of here. Alex and Barney took off racing.

...

Having outrun the meat rocket, Alex had now resumed his brisk walk, leaving the boardwalk to go back to his apartment. He looked over at Barney who seemed to be saying, 'It's not my fault, both guy and hotdog had it coming.'

Alex thought about it and agreed. A hotdog unprotected is a wild hotdog.

*Urrggh*

A groan abruptly came from the side. Alex glanced over and discovered a middle-aged man in extremely rough shape, bleeding badly underneath the boardwalk. Alex's face grew solemn. 'A murder? ...If I go over, will I become a suspect?'

He gazed down to see if Barney had any brilliant ideas.

...Nope, just the usual blank stare. He shook his head. 'Let's take a look first.'

He quickly walked over. "Sir, are you injured? Do you need an ambulance?"

The man lifted his head in an attempt to gaze at Alex. Two things immediately caught Alex's attention: the man's infinitely deep black eyes and the terrible condition he was in.

Laying on the sand, his short black hair and beard were almost burgundy from the blood. His skin had become ghastly pale. His clothes...now torn up red rags. He seemed like he had been hit by a truck.

The man wiped blood from his eyes to get a good look at Alex. Then suddenly, like someone who had found the last straw to grasp on to, he jumped up to his feet. In complete disregard of his injuries, he grabbed Alex by his t-shirt collar with both hands. His eyes became wet with a mixture of blood and tears as he screamed, "Please! You must become God!"

Alex's face was in utter horror. 'Oh my god, no good deed goes unpunished. This bastard must be tripping on acid...'

"Crazy drunk beggar, let go of me!" Alex shouted, struggling to be released. However, after a minute of useless resistance, he gave up. The man's grip was as firm as a vice! Alex couldn't budge the man's finger even a centimeter. He felt like a baby wrestling an adult. 'I need to start going to the gym. This is embarrassing.'

He heard a sound and looked back to see Barney hiding behind him, whimpering. '...What am I paying your dog food salary for if you don't even protect your boss?!?'

"Please, you don't understand. You must save this world!" The man's tears flowed down his filthy cheeks.

'...Jeez, I know this guy is tripping balls right now, but he looks really sad. I feel kind of bad, but I'll feel even worse if I don't get back home soon to finish Tiger King...' Alex thought. "Um, sorry, but I'm kind of busyyy this week so...saving the world, it's just not going to fit into my sched." He shook his head, trying to look remorseful.

The man heaved in large breaths. "Then...then let me be your servant!"

'...Servant? This dude is NOT interview ready.' Alex carefully considered his words. "I'm going to have to gratefully reject on account of you being overqualified."

The man's eyes flashed. It appeared this hobo wasn't taking no for an answer. "I'll be your minion! I'll do your laundry, grocery shopping, your cleaning, dog walking, whatever you want! Free every day!"

Alex' face instantly turned deadly serious. 'Wise elders might tell me not to let a strange, homeless, dying man into my apartment. To them I would say...do you know how long it takes to level up in Warframe? This gentleman has just been hired as a full-time grinder.'

"You've got a deal. It's a good deed to help those in need." Alex's mind was already envisioning filled up XP bars...more skill points than he knew what to do with...stacks and stacks of loot piling up inventory space...'I should hurry up and sign a contract before his drugs wear off.'

The man's face finally looked relieved. As Alex was preparing a motivational speech, out of nowhere, the man morphed into a small globe of light and shot into Alex's eyebrows.

Before Alex could figure out what happened, a voice resonated inside his head. 'First General acquired, Sir. Your access to God's inner world is unlocked.'  Alex immediately blacked out.

Author's Note:

Barney: https://bit.ly/32VLQbu

The setting is 2020, without Covid.