*Zedd’s Point of View*
It’s past 7pm and she’s already sound asleep. “I should prepare dinner,” I mumbled as I stood up from my messed up bed.
I recalled the time when nanay used to prepare a lugaw for me every time I was sick. She’d say, ‘You wanted to get sick because my specialty’s too delightful.’ Then she’d give me that warm smile, showing her dimples. I had the same, like I was her copy. She’s always been my hero that I came out too reliant on her. I couldn’t seem to find the reason why she’s been murdered by my hare-brained father.
I was called a coward by everyone because I used to be with my mother who was golden-hearted, cheerful, and loving. I wanna be as kind as her yet I turned into something brutal and sordid human-being. I became identical with both my brother and father; became demented like them.
I tried imitating nanay’s specialty once, but dad forbade me from making it. Though now at the bright side, I could do it for a girl whom I knew who loves me. Maybe, she’s really the one who’d embrace me, no matter what circumstances.
The only thing that fills my ears all the time was her voice. For the short time we’ve had, she already mended every single part of me that was torn. She fixed me, that’s why I didn’t want her gone by my side. I’d look after her like what she’s been doing for me all along in her mission.
The room smelled savoury, that it has relaxed my body and soul. It gave me that certain bliss of satisfaction.
I went to her and whispered, “Hey, sunshine. Wake up. You’ve been sleeping there all afternoon.” Her eyes slowly opened - they’re so beautiful. Smiled and giggled, she squinted her eyes. “Where are my glasses? I can’t see your chubby cheeks clearly without it.”
Handed her what she’s asked and wore it in perfection. “You are still my Zedd. My superman with those rosy cheeks that I really envy. And those cute dimples… Man, you really made a heart of stone beat.”
With a serious tone, she asked me, “I need to get up, I can’t barely breathe.”
I held her up, sitting down and leaning against the wall. She grunted with the sting on her wounded part and gasped for air. “It still hurts, I know. Don’t worry, you’ve been taken care of a while ago. My friend who’s a doctor helped me out to clean the stab. And I also asked for an oxygen tank for you while you’re sleeping. You’ll get well soon, love.”
Still, groaning with a little squeak, she murmured, “I n-need my pills… Hand it over.”
“No. You shouldn’t take those. Gia said that those will just kill your nerves in pain. And… they’re expired.” My excuse to calm her down.
Her voice sharpened and grunted in pain, “I NEED IT ZEDD! I NEED MY PILLS!! I WILL GO BE A LUNATIC IF I WON’T TAKE JUST ONE.” She gasped, catching for breath. “It’ll help me go numb, I swear!”
“No, Kirstie. I said no! You shouldn’t take those pills.”
“HAND ME MY PILLS, ZEDD! NOW!!”
“NO! PLEASE, JUST LISTEN.”
She began forcing herself to stand up out of the bed, then I came stopping her.
“DON’T FUCKING TOUCH ME!! I NEED MY PILLS!!!” Her strength then moved me by force but I was able to stop her.
I lost my temper and slapped her unintentionally, “KIRSTIE! SNAP OUT OF IT!” I sighed then continued, “I’m sorry but you shouldn’t take those because we found out something bad about it a while ago.” Then she’s at a standstill, as a tranquil ocean she went.
“Gia shockingly told me that those medications weren’t as what you expected. It turned out to be some kind of a drug that triggers your panic attacks and it actually sinks your body to have delusions. It won’t help you sleep because it will make you stay stirring until the drug dozes off. The same drug that Krypton and I take whenever we need to go through tough operations.”
Then she began holding her head up and sobbed, “Why will Aaliyah do such a thing, Zedd? She… She gave me those fucking pills and told me I’ll be fine when I’ll take those regularly…” She laughed sinisterly. “No wonder why she makes me take those shit because THEY ARE LOCKING ME UP THERE. I am getting wild hallucinations at night and tend to whimper every morning for no reason. The people back there made me isolated not because I need to be protected but because I am a maniac. It’s a fucking logic, Zedd. Manang Mayana isn’t the lunatic, I AM! I AM THE NUTHEAD! AM I RIGHT, ZEDD?”
Nothing good to do at the moment but embrace her tight around my arms. She didn’t deserve these, any of these. “Oh, Kirstie. Everything happens for a reason. Probably, they just tried protecting you from this mess. From me.” My tears rolled down my face.
“I just wanted to help, Zedd. I risk my life everyday back there for nothing, that’s why I’m here…” She looked up with those wet eyes and said, “If I stayed there, I would never meet someone like you. And… And I’ll die there… I’ve seen it in my nightmares, Zedd. Being locked up there will soon be the end of mine. You, with t-them… will burn me alive while I’m asleep. Then before I’d reach the end of my time, I’ll hear evil laughs whose demons telling me that I lost.”
I couldn’t even say a word ‘cause she was right. Probably, I’d kill her without knowing who she really was. I’d rejoice over the burnt houses and not hesitantly bathe the people in blood. Without her doing this, I’d be brutal.
“But now that you are here with me, you know that I won’t do such a thing to you. I love you, Kirstie, and that’s far way important than all of these.” I kissed her forehead while hearing her sob slowly fading away. “We will make it. And after this, I promise to live with you joyfully. I can see it and feel it. This mess will soon end. We can get to be together without pretending. I won’t see nor hear you cry anymore.”
I shushed and calmed her down. “Zedd?” I heard her say. “I can’t find the words to respond to the love you’re giving. I hope actions will speak louder after this.”
Her hands went up slowly until they’d reach my face. She leaned on with a grunt. Right on my lips, she went closer. I felt soft as she kissed me. A kiss that enabled me to feel something. Something that stings, pricks, and tickles my heart. She sipped on longer, she didn’t let go. She tried resisting the sting upon her wounds on her side but didn’t care. And so I followed her rhythm.
Catching her breath, she questioned, “Zedd… Is this really the romance I’ve been searching for?”
I held her face and nodded, “Probably. And it feels good, really good. And I thank heavens I’ve found you.”
. . . . . . . . . .
VOCAB CHECK!!
Lugaw - Congee, Rice Porridge
