It was sunset, and the sun casted a long shadow over the ‘Pure Moon Pavilion’ atop the ‘Pure Moon Peak’ at the entrance of the ‘Radiant Sea Institute’.
The ‘Pure Moon Pavilion’ in question was a hexagonal pavilion, had a diameter of about twenty zhang, stood over ten zhang tall, and sat behind the ‘Radiant Sea Gates’, above the 'Heaven Ascending Steps'.
At the center of the pavilion was a carved wooden table and two elderly men.
Sat on one of the chairs was a bubbling whale of a man, wider than he was tall, his facial features mushed in so badly by the flesh on his cheeks that his eyes were completely indistinguishable from the folds of fat on his face. The fatty looked so heavy, that it was somewhat of a miracle he was still sat upright and the wooden chair beneath him had yet to collapse, or perhaps the chair had already shattered to pieces? It was impossible to tell, the chair itself was nowhere to be found, as it was lost beneath the many folds of the fatty's meaty arse…
Sat next to the land whale, with both eyes closed, seemingly in peaceful slumber, was his polar opposite, a meatless tree branch, with skin so deathly pale, the dozens of veins pulsing beneath them could be easily seen and counted. The man’s flesh barely clung onto his skeleton, and all sorts of bones one would not expect to be on, nor would like to know was on a human body could be seen sticking against it.
In short, this duo had the appearance of a pair of polar opposite ghoul-friends that made a living out of scaring the excrements out of people’s bowels…
“Old bones, it’s almost time, why don’t we go ring the bell and call it a day?” The fatty suddenly spoke up, his cheeks jiggling, as he turned to face the skeletal old man.
“Stupid fatty, there’s still a quarter shi left, besides the ‘Red Lotus Lodge’ won’t open its doors for another shi, what’s the rush?” the skeletal old man replied, rejecting the proposal.
“Eh…but it’s not like anyone will make it up here in the next quarter shi, right? I don’t sense anyone on the ‘Heaven Ascending Steps’ at the moment, and there is simply no way that ‘Qi Immersion’ junior could possibly scale the entire 9,999 steps in a quarter shi, right? So, it makes no difference if we end this round a bit early, eh?” The fatty argued, his gaze fixed upon the ‘Heaven Ascending Steps’, a series of steps leading up to the ‘Radiant Sea Gates’.
“Regardless, we owe that lass this much at least…” The skeletal old man continued to refuse adamantly.
“Argh, you’re such a stuck up!” The fatty moaned in exasperation, giving up on convincing his partner, he turned away, before withdrawing a brilliant red pearl, the size of an adult’s fist, from within the folds of his belly. “Hehe…with this ‘Royal Beast Inner Core’, I’ll definitely be able to get the ‘Lodge Mistress’ to accompany me tonight!”
“What?! How did you get your hands on that thing?!” At the mention of ‘Royal Beast Inner Core’, the skeletal old man’s eyes snapped open in shock.
“Hehe, you remember when we were meant to go grab the rewards for this round’s tests, from inside the third vault? I may have sneaked off for a bit to get my hands on this precious baby…” The fatty explained, his eyes glued on the beast core as he caressed it gently.
“Damned fatty! Do you know the punishment for stealing from the institute?! You had best hand the beast core over, so I can return it before anyone notices!” The skeletal old man demanded, his hand reaching towards the beast core in the fatty’s hand.
“Ptooey, scram off to the side, old bones!” The fatty spat angrily, swatting away the skeletal old man’s hand as his figure disappeared, before reappearing a dozen zhang outside of the pavilion in the next instant, the beast core still nestled in his arms. “You just want to get your slimy old hands on this baby! Hehe, but don’t fret too much old pal, when I bed the ‘Lodge Mistress’ tonight, I’ll let listen in on the sounds of the bed creaking!”
“Shameless fatty! The bed would break the moment you put your fat buttocks on it!” The skeletal old man swore.
Reaching out with his bony hands, an illusory image in the shape of a skeletal finger, glinting with malevolent light and suffused in a purple glow, appeared above him. The eerie strength it radiated causing the roof of the ‘Pure Moon Pavilion’ to shake violently, and the pillars that supported it to rattle fiercely, teetering on the edge of collapse.
“Hand it over! ‘Praise be the Accursed Ones’! ‘Ravenous Specter Finger’!” The skeletal old man chanted, and the skeletal finger above him hurtled, at an astonishing speed, towards the fatty.
“Thick-faced old codger! You’re actually attacking me?! ‘Insurmountable Stances of the Indomitable Lord’, ‘Ape King’s Bellow’!” The fatty screamed as he struck out with his fist, and the phantom of a tyrannical ape, wreathed in a golden halo, roared into existence, beating its chest as it charged at the skeletal hand.
The skeletal finger and the tyrannical ape collided right outside the ‘Pure Moon Pavilion’, crushing the three pillars closest to them into powder, and sent the skeletal old man flying at the pillar behind him. Meanwhile, the fatty was sent flying towards the ‘Radiant Sea Gates’, and rolled to a halt next to the last steps leading up to it. The fatty's arms hung limply by the side, and the ‘Royal Beast Inner Core’ that was nestled in them earlier was nowhere to be found…
“Argh…” Moaning in pain as he collected himself off the ground, the fatty turned towards the skeletal old man who was struggling to stand up as well. Glaring at the skeletal old man furiously, the fatty began to cuss angrily, “screw you, damned old bones! I don’t care what that hag surnamed Shangguan has to say anymore! I’ll fight you to death today!
“Hmph! Do you think you of all people could kill me?! Come at me you fat fuck!” The skeletal old man barked back fiercely, giving tit for tat, as deep purple mist flowed out of his seven orifices.
“Heigu Xuanzong you bag of filthy fossils! I’ll definitely fucking kill you today, or my name isn’t Jun Zhenmin!” The fatty, Jun Zhenmin, vowed, as golden light suffused out of the folds within his fat, cloaking him in resplendent royal robes.
“Shameless pig, all that food and wine must be clogging your brain, do you even have any pride left? You fucking said the same thing yesterday!” The skeletal old man, Heigu Xuanzong, rebuked, the purple mist around him coalescing into dozens of chilling violet skulls that floated eerily above him.
“Ah! Screw off! ‘Mammoth King’s Rampage’!” Jun Zhenmin yelled as his colossal figure blurred forward, the phantom of a charging mammoth following behind him closely, its trunk lashing wildly, crushing everything in his path.
“Eat shit! ‘Plagued Souls!” Heigu Xuanzong cursed as he attacked as well, the violet skulls above him descended, and began to revolve around him, as he hurtled towards the charging fatty.
The fatty’s ‘Mammoth King’ and the skeletal old man’s ‘Plagued Souls’ collided in the middle of the ‘Pure Moon Pavilion’, grounding the remaining pillars that supported the pavilion into dust, and blasting the pavilion roof hundreds of zhang into the air.
The golden aura exuded by Jun Zhenmin's ‘Mammoth King’ and the purple smoke from Heigu Xuanzong's ‘Plagued Souls’ clashed like hot oil and cold water, burning the air surrounding them, evaporating anything that came remotely close to their battlefield!
The whole ‘Pure Moon Peak’ shook violently as the ‘Mammoth King’ struck out with its tusks, smashing the dozens of ‘Plagued Souls’ surrounding Heigu Xuanzong, blasting it, and him, tens of li away. The powerful blow completely dispersed the ‘Plagued Souls’ around Heigu Xuanzong and sent him careening into half a dozen buildings, before he finally managed to get back on his feet, more than sixty li away.
“Ha! You’re dead!” Jun Zhenmin declared, but in the next instant, he fell to his knees, coughing out a mouthful of blood as the image of the ‘Mammoth King’ behind him shattered to pieces. “Fuck! ‘Myriad Plague Poison’! How ruthless!”
“Ha! I’ll bury your fat ass here on this ‘Pure Moon Peak’!” Heigu Xuanzong swore, “It’s time to end this! ‘Pernicious Spirit Swarm’!”
A blood-red aura surged out from Heigu Xuanzong, giving birth to clouds of innumerable hellish aphids.
“Ptooey, you think this little bit of poison can stop me?! ‘Wolf King’s Howl’!” Jun Zhenmin bellowed, as he shakingly stood up, and the illusory figure of a savage wolf king, howling at the moon, emerged behind him.
The buildings within a twenty li radius of the battle instantly imploded, grounded to ashes by the turbulent qi exuded by the two. Even the very clouds above the ‘Pure Moon Peak’ split in half, revealing an ash grey firmament, frozen in fear of the clashing titans below.
Wordlessly, the two struck, and the ‘Wolf King’ behind Jun Zhenmin pounced forward with a ferocious snarl, while the ‘Pernicious Swarm’ behind Heigu Xuanzong swelled forward like an endless tidal wave. Tremendous Qi blasted out from the center of the impact, shattering the ‘Pure Moon Peak’, toppling the ‘Radiant Sea Gates’, and collapsing the ‘Heaven Ascending Steps’…
Pavilion - https://lovepik.com/image-401149050/hexagonal-pavilion-antique-wind-hexagonal-pavilion.html
Hag surnamed Shangguan - You’ll be seeing this expression a lot ‘the (curse words/name calling) surnamed (their surname)’, it comes from the Chinese saying ‘姓(their surname)的(curse word/name calling)’ (姓(Xìng) - surname, 的(De) - the)
Heigu Xuanzong (黑(Hēi) - black, 骨(Gǔ) - bone, 玄(Xuán) - dark/mysterious, 棕(Zōng) - palm) -https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=zh-CN&tl=en&text=%E9%BB%91%E9%AA%A8%E7%8E%84%E6%A3%95
Or my name isn’t - This is an expression that’s going to be used a lot as well, Chinese people thake their names pretty seriously, since it’s given by their parents or some learned person in their community, and it has a unique (kind of) meaning. Well, just you know, keep in mind that it’s a pretty big deal (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)?…
Jun Zhenmin (君(Jūn) - Monarch/ruler, 镇(Zhèn) - protect, 民(Mín) - people/citizen) - https://translate.google.com/#view=home&op=translate&sl=zh-CN&tl=en&text=%E5%90%9B%E9%95%87%E6%B0%91
