“Hey.”

I looked up to see Nolan sliding into the empty seat beside me. Both Ashley and Cody, sitting opposite me at the table, glanced up from their notes.

“Hey,” I said, beaming up at him. “Thanks for coming.”

Cody nodded at him. “Hey.”

“Hi, Nolan,” Ashley said.

As she caught my eye, she shot me a funny look. I blinked, but she returned her focus to her notebook without another word.

What was that about?

“No problem. I said I would,” Nolan said, unzipping his backpack and rummaging through it. “Sorry I couldn’t join you for lunch earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I know you were tired.”

He returned my smile. “So, what are you having trouble with?”

This morning, he had been so sleepy, he went to the library during lunch period to take a nap instead of coming to the dining hall with me like he usually did.

Truthfully, I was kind of glad he did that.

I wanted Nolan to be comfortable with doing what he needed to do to take care of himself. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to join me for lunch every day, especially since I knew how hard he had to fight off the urge to sleep.

He would always insist that it was what he wanted, but I felt a little bad for being the reason he couldn’t get the rest he needed.

I’d asked him earlier if he could join our after-school studying session, admitting that I could use his help with a topic that I’d been recently struggling with, and he had agreed without hesitation.

I could tell from his half-lidded eyes that he’d probably just woken up from a nap. He’d taken time out of his precious resting time purely to help me out. I still couldn’t believe how sweet he was to me.

He raised his head from his bag, pulling out his stationery.

I started when he squinted at me.

“Yeah?” he asked. “Is there something wrong?”

Immediately, I felt my face grow warm. I hadn’t even realized I’d been staring at him.

“It’s nothing,” I said quickly, sliding my notebook towards him. “Can you help me with this?”

---

“See you guys later,” I said, getting to my feet and picking up my lunch tray.

“Going to the library again?” Derek said, looking up from his plate.

I narrowed my eyes at his raised eyebrows.

“Yes,” I said. “Why?”

Melissa nudged her elbow into his side, and they exchanged glances. Already, I could feel my eyebrows drawing together at their behavior. What was up with them?

Sometime last week, Nolan went straight to the library for a nap during lunch. When I decided I’d go there too after I’d finished my food, my friends had this same weird attitude about it.

They appeared displeased that I wanted to go and basically hinted to me that maybe I shouldn’t. At least they hadn’t outright said it, but I still didn’t get what their problem was.

“What?” I asked. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Melissa eventually answered when Derek remained silent. “We were just wondering.”

“Wondering what?”

At this point, Ashley jumped into the conversation. “Is … everything, you know, going well between you and Nolan?”

I stared hard at all of them. A wave of déjà vu hit me, and abruptly the memory of being grilled at the arcade a couple months ago surfaced in my mind. Dread filled my stomach.

“Yes,” I said. “Everything’s going really well.”

In fact, it’d be going even better if they all stopped acting strange about it.

This time, they all glanced at each other.

“What?” I said, exasperated.

“So … you didn’t quarrel or anything, right?” Ashley asked.

“No!” I gaped at them. “Do we look like we had a fight?”

“I guess not,” she said reluctantly.

“You two just look like an imprinted duckling and its mother, that’s all,” Melissa said, raising her chin when I was unable to keep my scowl at bay. “What? I’m just calling it like I see it. By the way, in case you can’t see it, you’re the duckling.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

“Like, you follow his lead in everything. He kind of has you wrapped around his little finger, doesn’t he—”

“—what she means is that we’re a bit concerned for you,” Ashley interrupted, fixing Melissa with a stern stare. “He doesn’t seem to be spending much time with you, but you accommodate him a lot and work around his schedule. That’s why I was wondering if you guys are okay.”

Great. We were back on this again.

I already had a sinking suspicion that this was what their behavior was about, but I’d been hoping that maybe it was something else.

“We’re totally okay,” I reassured her.

“That’s good.” Her expression remained unchanged.

Obviously, she didn’t believe me.

“He’s not, you know … right?” Ashley said, trailing off as she peered at me.

Their needling was starting to get on my nerves.

“No, I don’t know. Not what?”

“Just to clarify, I’m not trying to assume anything, so don’t take this the wrong way.” She hesitated. “But, I mean, you know, he’s not deliberately avoiding going out with you, is he?”

I stared at her in disbelief. “No, of course not! What are you talking about?”

“That’s not what it looks like,” Melissa said. “You and Nolan are spending even less time together as a couple than you were as friends. That’s like the reverse of what normally happens when you start dating.”

“I-I mean …” I fumbled for a reasonable explanation, but I couldn’t come up with any.

“What is he so busy with on the weekends, anyway?” Derek says.

“Yeah,” Melissa said. “You guys barely meet each other, and he still can’t even be bothered to take you out on a date?”

They didn’t know that we went on forest outings—now that we were officially together, could I call them dates?—every week, so it was true that from their perspective, Nolan and I only met for a couple of hours after dinner in the evenings.

Alright, so it looked like we didn’t meet that often. But still, I didn’t see why it bothered them enough to discuss this with me intervention-style.

“It’s not like that,” I said uncomfortably. “Can you guys just drop it, please?”

“We’re just worried for you,” Ashley said. “He never comes out with us, and by the way, I’m not saying he has to. You’d think he’d at least go out with just you—but he doesn’t. You only spend time with him on his terms.”

“Hey, that’s not true—he came to study with us yesterday because I asked him,” I protested.

Besides, he’d only gone to the library today at my urging.

The constant closing of his eyes during our short conversation after class had ended was a dead giveaway that he was way too tired. I didn’t want him collapsing from exhaustion just because he didn’t get enough rest.

Her mouth fell agape. “Chelsea, it was for like an hour! And I heard you thank him for joining—you were thanking your boyfriend for spending an hour with you when you barely see him as it is, and I doubt that it’s because he’s busy with something so monumentally important he can’t even spare some time for you.”

As she spoke, I could feel my expression gradually turn stony.

I wanted to snap at her that it wasn’t like that, and that Nolan was sacrificing sleep that he needed to keep me company or tutor me in the day.

Taking a deep breath, I looked away from them.

I needed to approach this with a cool mind. I knew that they were just being concerned for me, and that they wouldn’t have said anything if they didn’t care about me. I needed to remember that.

“Guys,” I began, tightening my grip on the tray in my hands, “I really appreciate that you’re looking out for me. There’s nothing to be worried about, though. We’re really happy.”

“Really?” Melissa’s tone was entirely skeptical.

Ashley said, “I just think you don’t have to—”

“Look, I have to go,” I interrupted. “See you later, okay?”

I turned around and left the table, ignoring their protests.

Knowing that they were likely watching me walk away, I forced myself into a brisk stride, although all I wanted to do was to drag my suddenly heavy feet.

---

“What’s on your mind?”

Nolan’s hand landed on my head, startling me.

That familiar warmth rose in my chest again as he lightly ruffled my hair.

“Huh?” I said.

“You look like you’re thinking really hard,” he said.

I forced a smile onto my face. “I sort of am, I guess.”

Ashley and the others had grown increasingly suspicious of Nolan lately, and it was really starting to get to me.

What were supposed to be relaxing weekend afternoons at the mall quickly devolved into what felt like interrogation sessions as they started questioning me about our relationship.

Did Nolan really like me?

Was he really interested in being with me? If so, why did it seem like he never wanted to spend time with me?

The questions were just endless.

They seemed cynical of my vehement answers that yes, Nolan really did like me, and that they were thinking too much. The worst part was that I couldn’t tell them that we actually met up more often than they thought we did.

If these last couple of weeks were any indication of how future weekends at the mall were going to be like, then I didn’t feel like going out anymore. I’d rather stay in my room in peace and quiet than to have to spend another day fending off their constant concerns about the potential red flags in my relationship.

“—okay? Chelsea?”

I jolted backwards as I suddenly realized that Nolan’s face was inches away from mine.

“Chelsea?” he repeated.

“S-sorry,” I said, placing a hand on my chest. “I kind of spaced out a bit.”

“Yeah, I could tell,” he said, a small smile playing on his lips. “What’s got you so distracted?”

“Um,” I said.

I didn’t want to tell him what my friends had been hounding me about for the past couple of weeks. Nolan was observant when he wanted to be—I was sure he could tell that my friends had been acting quite cool towards him lately, but if he noticed, he never mentioned it.

I didn’t know exactly how much he would be affected by my friends’ opinions of him, and because he’d been getting along so well with them up until a few weeks ago, I didn’t want to find out. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel hurt.

Blue, who had been perched on Nolan’s shoulder, flew over in a flutter of wings to mine. In an attempt to distract myself from all the worries crowding my mind, I reached up to pet him.

“Are you okay? You’ve looked pretty tense since we met up,” Nolan said, flicking away a bug that had landed on his knee.

“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

My friends aren’t, though.

“You said you were thinking hard about something, right? Do you want to talk about it?”

I winced inwardly at his persistence.

“It’s alright,” I said. “It’s really nothing. Was just, you know, thinking about things. But thanks, Nolan.”

I bit back a grin at the bewilderment on his face. It was rare for Nolan to become so visibly confused.

I found it kind of cute.

“Well, if you ever need to talk, you know I’m always here,” he said, laying back down on the grass and picking up his binoculars again.

“Yeah, I know.” I flashed him a warm smile. “I really appreciate that.”

I closed my eyes to get a better feel of the night breeze brushing across my face. If only this tranquil moment could last forever.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about some things too,” he said.

Blue hopped down to my forearm.

“Oh?” I said, interested. “You have?”

“Yeah. It’s actually because of you.”

At that, I straightened my back. “Me?”

“After we talked about my father, I realized—I realized that I couldn’t stop thinking about how estranged we are. Growing up, I always just accepted it as a fact of life. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted, it didn’t matter. What I wanted never mattered. Eventually, I reached a stage where I managed to convince myself that I didn’t care.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “You matter.”

Lowering his binoculars to his chest, Nolan smiled at me.

“Before you, I’ve never opened up to anyone like this. I thought it was impossible, because I shut myself into my own little bubble and refused to step out of it. Two years ago, I would never have believed it if someone had told me that I’d be here now, talking to you about all of this. But you showed me it was possible.

“So, I was thinking … if this is possible, it would be nice if it were possible to have a functional relationship with my father. For years I’ve thought it could never happen, so I gave up on that idea a long time ago. But after talking to you that other day, I can’t get it off my mind. I still think it’s impossible, though.”

He reached out for my hand, and I took it. His cool fingers curled around mine reassuringly.

“Maybe it is possible,” I said gently.

I had little knowledge of what it was like to be emotionally distant from my parents. They were always a big source of support and encouragement for me in everything, and I couldn’t imagine not being able to turn to them when I needed help.

But from what I had heard of Nolan’s father, it sounded like he did care for Nolan in his own way, at least to a certain extent.

He laughed. “The way you look at things is so different from the way I look at them. I can’t believe how much you balance me out.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why do I feel like you’re calling me overly optimistic?”

“It’s a good thing.” His grin stayed. “I think I need that in my life.”

“Nice save,” I said dryly. “Anyway, have you thought about talking to him about it?”

“I can’t even imagine broaching the subject. And …” His fingers twitched slightly. “I’m scared.”

I waited for him to elaborate, but he said nothing else.

“Why?” I asked.

It took him a couple of minutes to reply. “What if he doesn’t care?”

“Of course—” I cut off my automatic response, knowing that I couldn’t guarantee if his father cared or not. “I think he does, though. I think it’s worth a try because he cares, even if it’s just a little bit.”

“How do you know that?”

“He hired a therapist to make evening house calls for you. That had to be expensive,” I pointed out. “And he got you that rabbit instead of freaking out massively when he learned about what happened to you. And he still gives you money on your birthday, which shows that he hasn’t entirely forgotten about it, right? I’m sure he cares for you in his own way, even if he’s horrible at showing it.”

Nolan remained silent. He was still looking up at the dark sky, and I couldn’t tell if he was contemplating what I’d just said.

“I’m not saying that all those things prove that he’s a great father, and they definitely don’t cancel out how much he neglected you, but they do show that he cared enough to give you something he thought you needed,” I said. “If you want to, I think it’s worth giving that conversation a go.”

His grasp on my hand tightened.

“Maybe I will,” he said eventually.

Offering him a smile, I said, “At least you’d have tried. You won’t have to wonder about the what-ifs years down the road.”

He paused. “Yeah.”

“No matter the result, know that I’ll be here for you,” I promised. “You’re not alone, okay?”

His gaze shifted to meet my eyes.

“Okay. Thank you.”