82 — All of a Kind

Flo rushed to me, embracing me with a desperate warmth. I winced from the pain, but returned her affection in spite of it. I needed it as much as she seemed to. 

She buried her face against my neck as she spoke. “This time I was here. I was here for you,” she said, before peppering my skin and lips with kisses.

“You were,” I whispered with pained effort. “You were here. Thank you, my love. Thank you. Also — Obs helped too.”

“Oh shit! Fuck yeah, I love Obs!” she cried out, joyfully.

“I do too, baby. I really do.”

“Tell her I miss her just a tiny bit, but not too much, because I see a lot of her in you all the time. Oh! Heck — Sheam, I just realized something. Hang on, let me try—”

I blinked at the sudden sensation of a thread snapping between us.

Flo clearly caught the alarm on my face. “Hang on, hang on!” she said quickly. “Now, this.”

I felt jolted by a second sensation, the same one I felt as the key returned to my neck — the warmth, an empty space being refilled. “What did you…” I stammered, stunned.

“Sheam! Did you feel all that! It wasn’t like I had thought at all! It’s not one way or the other! I can leave your mind and return to it whenever I want!”

I felt myself flooded with a sense of joy and relief. “That means…”

“I can self-project but I can also still be in your head. We don’t have to choose! It’s not a step we take that changes things forever!”

“Well,” I said, laughing, but wincing from the pain as I did. “It will change some things — fuck… ouch. Sorry, this all really hurts.”

“Shit, oh wow, sweetling — you need a doctor.” 

We were certainly a sight; I, covered in blood from my own wounds, and her, splashed red from Delphiné.

I nodded. “Yeah, soon, we need to find Kaite and the oth—”

As if on cue, Kaite burst in. She did a double take, looking between us and the body of Delphiné in shock. “You have got to be fucking kidding—”

Flo immediately ran to her, and threw her arms around her neck. “Kaite, holy fuck! The Giant! First it was bbrrawweeeiii! And then it was fwoooosh! All that light all over me! And—”

Kaite pulled away and looked at Flo with shock and horror. “Flo!” Kaite shouted. “What the fuck? We thought you were gone! Oh, and Sheam fucking lied about it!” With the way she glared at me I expected her to rain daggers in my direction. I was surprised she wasn’t already surrounded by a storm of sharp metal.

Flo bounced. “No! I'm good! I'm really good! It was beautiful!” She insisted. “The light, the colors. The way I felt myself becoming just like… I don't know how to explain. Pure thought? But I didn't stop being me and now I'm here. And Jaegré—”

The name said aloud made Kaite fold, burying her face against Flo’s chest, teeth bared. Flo squeezed her. “You're not ok.” she said indelicately, but with tremendous care in her voice.

“Jaegré,” I said softly after a moment of silence from Kaite. Kaite cut me off. “He’s dead. He’s fucking dead and I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it.”

“Oh…” she said, and seemed to vanish into her own thoughts. “But—” 

“Stop!” Kaite said aggressively. “I don’t want to hear about maybe he jumped off in time. The control, whatever, he couldn’t take his… He was sure he was going to die. He was talking like this was the last time he'd ever speak to—”

“Maybe he just felt like he had everyone's attention and wanted to say some stu—”

“Flo,” Kaite cut her off. “You’re sweet, but, please, right now, don’t—”

“No, no, Kate, Sheam, you don’t understand. He was there with me in the Giant. He should be—”

“How the fuck are you still standing, asshole,” Kaite hissed to me as she got down on her knees, inspecting the wounds. “Is all of this blood yours? Fucking… at least these are holding, but this is— fucking hell.”

“No, some is Delphiné’s!” Flo said cheerfully as she wiped some of the blood from her cheek. “Oh shit, Kaite! I killed Delphiné! I used the key! At first I wasn’t sure what to do — I wanted to rush in and like, attack! But a voice in Sheam’s head was telling me no, wait — oh shit, that was Obs! So instead I tried to give her some of my strength, and she stood up, and wow, she looked so— wow. Kaite, I wish you had seen it! She held our key up and then I knew exactly what I wanted to do! Whoosh! Bleh! Dead.”

Kaite lowered her head, and her body shook. She covered her mouth with her hand. Her body shook again. She looked like she was crying, but when she finally lifted up, I could see the wild smile on her face. She was suppressing laughter. She pulled away from me and rushed to Flo. 

“Fucking murder girlfriend over here,” Kaite said, kissing Flo soundly. The grin on Kaite’s face was now so big it looked like her head was about to run out of space. “About damned time. Welcome to the club, princess.”

Just then, another figure burst into the room; Greg. They were panting, hands on their knees, and shirt drenched with sweat. “Oh, thank hea– sweet mother of eternity! Is that Delphiné?”

I nodded. “Dead and gone.”

“Damn, surprised you kept up even that well,” Kaite said in a bored tone.

Greg crouched down beside the slain women, hands anxiously pulling off his glasses, looking at the body. “She didn’t reduce to the necrotic concentrate — how? What did you do to her? An immortal lays dead before us!”

“I think I just wore her down. Too many pokers in the fire for too long — kept her at one-hundred percent for an hour or so. I was past my limit too, so it makes sense. But, Greg, if you’re here — Emmett? Tony? Nate?” I asked urgently, my eyes darting between Kaite and Greg.

“All safe,” Kaite said with a hint of pride in her eyes.

Greg collapsed onto the floor, opposite Delphiné. She was clearly his chief concern. He was still processing. “So many centuries of lived experience, so much knowledge — so much of our history — all gone, just like that,” he said in a haunted tone. He tried to put his glasses back on, but was failing.

“It’s a pity she had made it all so worthless,” I said.

“It's funny honestly,” Flo said thoughtfully. “She stood there and just had no idea, no idea, that we were about to just… kill her. It just didn't occur to her that it was something we could do to her — and then we did it. Jossimer was the same way. He—”

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on that,” Greg said quickly, slowly recovering from his initial shock.

“Yeah, Delphiné was also skeptical.” I added. “Now that I think about it, all of his entourage are younger copies of himself. He’s got droves of backup bodies manifested at all times.”

“Fuck,” Flo said, looking suddenly sullen. “Yeah, there was an officer at the camp — oh no.”

“It’s okay, babe,” Kaite said, kissing Flo’s head. “We’ll just keep coming for him. He can’t remanifest forever. Speaking of which — Sheam, why the fuck are you still in that fucked up body?” Kaite’s eyes flashed with anger, but I felt like she wasn’t angry with me.

“I…” I hesitated. I knew why, but I wasn’t ready to say it.

“Flo, back into her head. Come on, Sheam. Don’t fucking make me spend another second fearing for your life.” Kaite suddenly looked entirely disarmed. She looked helpless. She was begging.

“Oh, I don’t need to be in her head,” Flo began. “Oh, shit, Kaite, this is so cool! I can—”

The morning sun that was filling the room was suddenly blotted out.

We all stopped, cold.

The windows rattled.

I could feel the vibration in the stone beneath me and the desk I was leaning against.

The shadow passed, just as quickly as it had appeared.

“What the fuck was—” Kaite began.

“It’s the Giant,” I said, my blood running like ice.

Kaite had run to the window, looking out, searching. “Fucking— Jaegré died for nothing? This can’t be real — where the fuck is—”

“It’s here,” I said, my eyes wide with fear. I lifted my hand and pointed directly up. “It’s right above us.”

“Why are we just standing here?” Greg shouted, stumbling, dropping his glasses, then doubling over to retrieve them. They were now drenched with blood.

“Wait, everyone, it’s okay!” Flo suddenly shouted, standing to block the doorway, both hands outstretched.

“Flo what do you—” Kaite quickly said, running to her.

“It’s okay! I know it is! Come with me! To the courtyard! Everyone, come! It’s okay! Don’t be afraid!”

I couldn’t believe my ears. I grunted with pain as I tried to get up. To my surprise, Kaite took me, and swung me into her arms, cradling my body to her chest, carrying me.

My breath was taken away.

I nearly burst into tears.

Kaite kept pace with Flo, carrying me to the courtyard. We could immediately see upon opening the door that no light was entering the space. It was like twilight beyond.

The Giant’s gaping maw filled the sky. It was lower to the ground than I had ever seen one of the machines operate.

It was also just hanging there. There was no glow within its abyssal interior. There was no—

“The control platform is gone,” I quickly said, craning my neck from where I was cradled against Kaite. “How is it here? What is it doing? Who is—”

“It’s alive,” Flo said matter-of-factly.

She was standing in the center of the courtyard, eyes cast upwards. Short hair appeared on her scalp. Her earrings were once again hoops. Her entire appearance grew soft.

“Of all the unfathomable—” Greg was cowering in the doorway, insistent on staying with us, but refusing to exit. I considered telling him that no quantity of stonework overheard would protect him if the Giant decided it wanted us.

Kaite also stood, transfixed. I could feel her gently tug me more tightly to herself. I could tell that she was afraid, but standing her ground.

Then, something happened.

With no buildup at all, a narrow beam of white light shot down from the Giant’s vast opening into the center of the courtyard, mere meters from where Flo stood.

It came with a sound like a massive single drum-beat, which echoed and reverberated over and over. I could feel the air stir from the slight temperature change, but there was otherwise no shockwave or heat.

Greg recoiled, hiding his face.

Kaite took a step back, and braced herself.

Flo was still, like a statue.

I blinked, then my eyes went wide. I knew that light. I knew that sound.

It had made something.

“Wait— Jaegré?” Kaite breathed.

She ran over, and set me down as gently as she could while still roughly stumbling forward to see what her eyes couldn’t believe she was seeing.

“It’s—” Flo began.

“Not him,” Kaite answered.

“Isn’t it?” I asked, peering close.

There was a man on the ground where the beam had hit. He was curled in a fetal position, naked, with steam rising from his skin. The body did resemble Jaegré, but he was small — still large by human standards, but a far cry from the expected stature. His proportions were almost average.

“It is him,” Flo insisted, turning the body so we could see the face. “Jaegré, it is you!” she cried out.

It was true, the face did resemble Jaegré, but at the same time, it didn’t. It was too imperfect. It was a natural face. The kind of face someone who was born and grew into might have, not the face of someone imagined into being.

The kind of face I had after I had leapt into my true body.

I smiled, and felt my tears start to well. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Why isn’t he moving? What’s wrong with his eyes?” Kaite pleaded, confused, panicking.

I began to reason out loud. “I think—”

The universe abruptly tapped on the inside of Sheam's brain. By now it acted like an old friend, politely checking in. 

It said, hey, sorry about this, but, you may want to brace yoursel—

The three of us were violently pushed away from Jaegré’s body as a shockwave — the exact same kind of interruption in reality itself that I had produced three times in the past — spanned the entire courtyard. The generator crashed into stonework. Small trees and shrubs were nearly torn from the soil.

I manifested hands at everyone’s backs and heads to protect us from landing too hard as we each found ourselves at the courtyard’s perimeter.

Then, it was over.

I cried and coughed from the pain, while fighting to come to my senses. When I was able to focus my eyes, I saw the figure at the center of it all had risen to his feet. The movements were different — the proportions necessitated it — but the expression on his face was unmistakable.

It was him. He was back — and he was flesh and blood.

Flo was the first to run to him. “Oh shit, Jaegré! Gosh, you’re small now! Holy shit, the Giant! It was amazing right?”

“Hey, uh, Flo,” He said, in a voice that was at a much higher pitch than we were all used to. “Yeah, I, okay, give me a second.”

He was blinking, disoriented. I knew exactly how he felt.

Then he saw me. The eyes removed all doubt if any had remained — steady, calm. They were his, and his alone.

I slowly tried to right myself, but found that the bleeding had resumed. I shook, but wouldn’t let the pain stop me. “Gave us a scare, big guy,” I said gently.

“Guess I'm a sheam now,” he said to me, and then looked over to Flo, who seemed to be trying to squeeze the air out of his lungs.

“Oh, do not — don’t you dare start that—” I began.

But then, I smelled entourage. I jerked my head to the side, looking for the source, but then said simply, “Oh,” when I saw.

“Absolute piece of fuck,” Kaite’s voice sounded like the crack of a whip. Knives were vibrating in the air all around her.

“Oh, uh,” Jaegré began. “Sorry to scare—”

“Don't you ever fucking—”

Flo glared at her. “Can we skip the part where you act all mad and just hug him already?” She asserted impatiently.

“She's got a point,” Jaegré said with a lopsided grin.

Kaite growled fearsomely and gave in, knives clattering to the floor before vanishing. “Of all the stupid—”

“Nice to see you too,” he said dryly. 

She rushed to the two of them, and squeezed with the same desperate abandon as Flo. 

“I fucking want to kiss you,” Kaite hissed through her teeth.

“I still don't really like kisses,” Jaegré reminded.

“I know. That's why I'm saying it, and not doing it — idiot.”

“You can kiss me!” Flo said with a smile so big you could hear it. Kaite gave a half-laugh, and quickly pecked Flo’s lips.

“Jaegré — damn it,” Kaite began, her voice cracking. She then laughed, and seemed to switch gears. “So, Rémi Meribor?”

“Oh, uh, you’ve met, I guess,” Jaegré said cautiously.

“Oh, gosh!” Flo began, eyes wide. “Oh gosh, I really want to know who that is.”

“Hey uh, Sheam, you okay there?” Jaegré was the first to notice that I still hadn't managed to get to my feet, or maybe he just wanted to distract from the topic. I was almost disappointed. 

Kaite pushed herself away from the other two and unceremoniously scooped me up, bringing me to them. “She insists on staying on the verge of death because she likes it when I carry her. Don’t lie, babe. I can feel your heart racing when I do this.” She pecked my forehead, and then deposited me in the middle of the tangle of arms that all tried to be the ones to hug the tightest.

We were all back together, the four of us. I was laughing. I was crying. My head was spinning. I couldn't even process. This was real? 

Greg seemed to finally find the courage to return to the courtyard. He had a pistol raised, gripped between two palms, trembling.

“Really?” Kaite scoffed. “Now you draw that? Gonna shoot the Giant down with it?” 

Greg blinked sheepishly, and put the gun away. But then his eyes refocused. “Wait, Jaegré?” he shouted.

“Long story,” Jaegré replied, and then ruffled Flo's unusually fluffy hair. The way they looked at each other seemed to confirm that it was their story.

I looked up. The Giant was still there. “What is it doing now?” I asked, almost to myself.

“Whatever it wants, I guess,” Jaegré answered, joining me in looking upwards.

“Flo, you said it’s alive?” I asked, astonished.

She nodded emphatically.

Jaegré tried to answer. “It's kind of like… a wild animal? It's got a mind. It's sentient. But it's not like us. It doesn't think like we do, but it has an inner life. It feels.”

I felt my entire perception of something I thought I had been an expert on shifting. “That… wow. And it helped you? To come back to us? To make a new body?”

“It didn’t so much help as — how to explain. It is hard to make sense of it now that I am out. It was kind of a collaborative moment? Like, it had a sense of what I needed, and — yeah, maybe help is the right word, but it’s hard to put into words.”

“It’s okay,” I said gently. “It’s just… it’s amazing.”

Jaegré went on. “It knows what it's doing. It knows what it's been made to do. It's old. It's very very old and feels its age. But now, it's free?”

“Free?” Greg asked, astonished. He now dared to approach us, looking up at the dark shape that was hanging perfectly still in the air.

“Yeah. The platform was like its leash. I broke it. And now it's free. It won't respond to the controls here either anymo—”

As if it had been listening, the Giant suddenly rotated, almost faster than the eye could follow. The movement of the huge blunt shape kicked up a wind that nearly flattened us to the ground. Just as abruptly, it rushed off, possibly even faster, creating another rush of wind that nearly picked us all up into the air. An instant later there was a tremendous boom, and then, silence.

“It’s, uh,” Jaegré continued after a few seconds of stunned silence. “It’s going wherever it wants now, I guess.”

“Wait, it’s—?” Greg  said with alarm. “It’s just… going to wander around and—” 

“Yup!” confirmed Flo. “It doesn't like what it was being made to do, though. It felt… full. Not in the sense that Sheam said, but like, fed up? So I don't think it's going to make any more gaps?”

“You don't think?” Greg  shouted with alarm. “That thing is dangerous! Can you imagine the risk? To just let it run free?”

“I'm dangerous.” Kaite said. “Gonna put me on a leash too? Don't get ideas, Flo. It’s just rhetorical. Stop looking at me like that, Flo, baby, let's talk about this later,” she laughed, her mood clearly improved.

Greg had gone white. Clearly he had an inkling of how dangerous Kaite could be.

“Listen,” Jaegré said to him. “We’re all of a kind, right? You, a Benefactor — Flo, an entourage, and the rest of us all something else in between. The Giant's just another thing like we all are. We don’t understand it, but I don’t understand Kaite. I sure as fuck don’t understand you, Greg.”

“We… all deserve to be free,” I struggled to say to Greg. “I think… we can… at least treat it… the way we… want… to be.”

My body finally gave in. Everything was going dark. But this time, the hands that caught me belonged to people who loved me.

“Shit,” I heard Kaite said. “Flo can you — fuck, no, none of us have been to Emmett’s nurse’s lab before. Greg, I am giving you exactly one last chance to be useful. Please tell me you’ve brought a fucking com’ask.”

I drifted off as I heard her take charge.

A smile came over me as I faded into the gentle darkness.

I knew I was in good hands.