CHAPTER 33: SOCIAL DRINKING

ALPHONSE FARADEISS

2 ½ YEARS AGO

“Fuck!” 

That’s what I cried when the case of beer I’m carrying fell out to the sandy ground. I’m currently in charge of transferring the food, drinks, and the grill for our barbecue and alcohol party that is about to happen later tonight, and it just so happens that I’m carrying the case of liquors on top of the box of charcoals. My hand is full so the case became unbalanced. Luckily, due to the fine sand, none of the beer bottles broke. So I pick it all up, assembled it to the case, and put it on top of the box of charcoals, ready for transfer again.

“Master, maybe you should have left that case back in the van and carry those things one at a time.” Z said in a concerned tone. Right now, her arms are carrying a box of condiments for our barbecue.

“It’s either I fail, or I’ll die trying!” I cried out loud as I try to balance the case while I walk.

“Hey, Master. Look at that.” Suddenly, Z elbowed my stomach. It’s a little gentle, but it made me a little ticklish, so I dropped the case of beer back in the sandy ground again. I was about to utter a bad word until I saw what Z is trying to say.

At the edge of the shore are two persons, a man and a woman standing in front of each other, with the orange sun setting on the horizon at the background. The man and woman are both blushing, and they seemed to have been interrupted. They are just standing still, not making any movement. It’s Xenon and Serena.

“Hey, fucktard! A little help please?” I called out my fellow dragon knight as I pick up the fallen beer on the sand.

“...Oh, okay.” Xenon obediently replied as he went to me and helped me pick up the bottles. “Damn, don’t just drop these precious things on the ground!” He scolded.

Meanwhile, Serena is still there, left standing at the edge of the sandy ground. After three seconds, she slapped both of her blushing cheeks and joined us out.

I think I just interrupted their private moment with my potty mouth, making them fall into an awkward situation. Well, it doesn’t matter. I know those two lovebirds will get their chances once the social drinking party starts.

When the night came, all of us knights and dragonoids worked hard to set up. Xenon is in charge of setting up the grill, Serena is in charge with cooking, I’m in charge of readying the beers and cocktails, while Z had the hardest job of all; to light a bonfire. 

When Danielle and her dragonoid Nathaniel finally came back to the beach camp, we were almost finished setting up. Those two came from the police station and learned that the dragonoid assailant earlier was a remnant of Arcadia, and it seems that he’s just angry at Serena.

Putting those trivial things aside, we should not let that incident ruin our vacation. Now that the food, drinks, and bonfire has been set, it’s time for this barbecue party!

“For the dragon knights!” I raised my beer.

“For the dragon knights!” Everyone cheered as they mimicked my actions. Then, everybody started to chomp down their food and gulp their liquors.

“Hey, Xenon-bitch.” I grabbed the attention of my rival. “Let’s have a drinking contest. The first moron who gets tipsy loses!”

“I’ll never lose to you, dipshit.” Xenon accepted my toast. The colliding of our beer bottles is like a bell to a boxing ring for a challenge.

“At the count of three!” I readied my bottle as we count together with my opponent. “One, two, three!”

Together, we gulped the beer in one go. It took us three seconds until we both finished the bitter poison that ran through our esophagus. We also lifted the empty bottles away from our mouths at the very same time.

“You call this a fucking beer?” I ranted as I look at the information on the bottle. “Seven percent alcohol, and ninety-three percent bullshit! Squeeze malted barley for fuck’s sake!”

“Okay, I lose. I’m drunk. Hic!” Xenon burped out loud. His white face became so red that he looked like he just got a lot of slapping from volleyball players.

“Wha...what!?” I was dumbstruck. “I thought you’re a drunkard, but all it fucking took you to get tipsy is one bottle!”

“U-Um, Sir Faradeiss…” Serena raised her hand, fully embarrassed by her master. “Senpai is extremely weak to alcohol. He often acts tough but he knows his own limits.”

As Serena spoke, Xenon can be seen freefalling towards the sand, ready to sleep. He was utterly knocked out.

“Well, that’s anti-climactic.” I tossed the empty bottle of beer to the back. Being blue-balled to the challenge, I proceed to grab one barbecue stick and chomped it. Compared to what I have tasted in five-star restaurants and well known fast-food chains, this grilled barbecue is exceptionally delicious. I couldn’t help but chow down until I get my third set of barbecue. Even if the beer tastes like shit, the barbecue makes it all good.

“Tres Bien, Serena~” Danielle gave a sassy pleased compliment as she savors the flavor of the barbecue on her mouth. “You cooked this? I never thought you could cook a barbecue this good!”

“R-Really!?” Serena blushed.

“Danielle’s right,” I said as I finish my fifth set. “You can actually open up a barbecue restaurant with this quality.”

Our dragonoids Z and Nathaniel nodded in agreement with our statement. Of course, nobody would argue that Serena’s cooking is the best there is. Normally, I wouldn’t compliment above-average cooking, but Serena is an exception. Her skills are beyond top-notch excellent.

“Thanks! I’m greatly honored!” Serena smiled with a blush. “I’m glad I was able to put a smile on your faces~”

“Someday, you would make a great housewife!” I smiled. “Right, Xenon?”

Xenon didn’t answer. He just raised his body, revealing his eyes that are a little bit asleep. This guy is certainly drunk, and there’s no joke about it. He’s just mustering all strength left on his body to move. He grabbed one of the barbecue sticks and ate it all, even the stick itself. Then, he burped, and grabbed another beer from the case and drank it in one go.

“Hey, I’m asking you a question.” I groaned. “Moreover, enough drinking already! You’re already sold out!”

“Fuck you, Alphonse!” Xenon cried like a kid as he grabbed another bottle. It seems like I won’t be able to stop this idiot from ruining his mind and body. He’s even talking gibberish as he let out his anger. “Fuck you all! Fuck Arcadia! Fuck Elysia! Fuck Eldritch! Fuck Cheng! Fuck Trystgade!... wait, I’ve already fucked her. But Eldritch fucked her too. Fucking bitch!”

“Maybe you should stop speaking bad words, especially if you’re talking about the empress of the other empire.” I tried to sermon my fellow drunk knight. I know I’m the one to talk, but this is what alcohol does to me. I’ve already drunk seven bottles of beer and three glasses of cocktails after all, but I’m still not that tipsy. In fact, liquor makes me a lot more well-mannered.

“You should treat every woman like a princess,” Nathaniel said as he hiccuped.

“Shut up! As long as she breathes, she’s a thot!” Xenon hollered.

“Senpai, calm down.” Serena tried to negotiate at the idiot drunk man. She grabbed the beer away from her knight’s hand and replaced it with her own soft palm. “We will get your revenge. I promised, remember?”

“R-Right…” Xenon settled down. Then, he grabbed the beer Serena worked hard to get away from him and proposed for a toast. Serena didn’t get it at first, but she accepted Xenon’s toast anyway. As they clinked bottles, Xenon released words of gratitude from his heart. “Thanks for always being there by my side.”

“Y-You’re welcome, Senpai.” Serena blushed. “I told you, I will always be the person you can count on.”

Then, the dragonoid and her knight took a sip of their bottle of beer. It is a magnificent view of an unbreakable bond between the two.

“I have to tell you something…” Xenon muttered, his beer raised up.

“What is it, Senpai?” Serena stood stiff, fully nervous about what she might hear from her knight.

“I love you.”

Everybody was silent. Nobody even moved. No one breathed. Not me, not Z, not Danielle, not Nathaniel. Nobody dared to make a noise, not even cricket or the waves of the ocean a few meters away from us. Nobody could ruin this straight-up proposal of pure love. It’s about that fucking time for them to have an unbreakable romantic bond to one another.

Serena’s face went red, and I’m pretty sure that’s not because of the alcohol. She held her beating chest in overdrive and drowned herself in the pure love from his master. However, she let a single piece of doubt dominate her mind, making her ask a question. 

“Um, Senpai… Is it you, or the beer talking?”

It took a second for Xenon to reply, but for Serena, it was the longest second of her life.

“... I’m talking to the beer!” Xenon answered out loud.

I think this social drinking is not yet the time for them to have a moment of truth.