CHAPTER 41: LOVE POISON

SERENA MAIZONO

2 YEARS AGO

I tried to stop Z from doing her evil plans. Believe me, I tried. But Z insisted on doing it anyway. She planned to have her dragon knight Alphonse drink the love potion/perfume I had by mixing droplets of it on her home-baked cheesecakes. When it was already lunchtime, Z went to the dragon knight training camp to give his knight his meal.

Now they are having a small private picnic in the park near the training camp. Z and Sir Alphonse are sitting side by side on the bench, making them look like a lovey-dovey couple. Since day one, I knew Z have that kind of level of admiration for Alphonse. I shouldn’t be surprised that Z made a love potion since my gut feeling about her using it to her knight would happen anyway regardless if we should test the potion or not.

I’m watching them at a distance to see if the bottle really contains the love potion.

Since Alphonse is really hungry and exhausted, he immediately ate the first cheesecake without a thought. But when he started to chew it slowly, his face became a little bit blue. Not enduring the lavender flavor mixed in the cheesecake, Alphonse spit it outrightly towards the trash can which can be found at the back of their bench.

“Pweh! The hell is this mushy texture!” Alphonse cried. “This cheesecake tastes like baby crap! I used to have diapers with better flavor!”

“Master, please ignore the flavor.” Z curled her ash-gray hair in an adorable manner as she winked to her knight. “Soooo, what do you think about me right now?” 

“You’re a shit cook,” Alphonse said coldly. “This is why I never let you go all on your way to the kitchen. It’s all fucking better if I do all the fucking cooking, you dimwit.”

“What!?” Z exclaimed not in despair, but in disappointment. “H-Hey, don’t you feel like you’re in love with me right now!?”

“Of course not. Actually, get out of here!” Alphonse indiscriminately fired a kick towards Z’s butt that made her fall to the ground. “A garbage bin can do a lot better than you.”

Suddenly, Alphonse grabbed the garbage bin beside the bench, put it to sit on Z’s supposed seat, and he hugged it like a koala. With such a turn of events, Z could only hang her jaw in surprise and sadness.

“Oh, garbage can! You really fucking turn me on! Tell me, why wouldn’t we have a bed moment right now? I’ll reserve a private tent just for you.” Alphonse rubbed his cheeks on the black bin that is full of trash. Then, he kissed it, leaving his saliva on the mouth of the said trash can.

“Wha… Wha… Why is it working on the trash can and not on me!?” Z cried out loud. 

Seeing that this is a state of emergency, I approached Z and helped her stand up. I even made the effort to wipe the dust away from Z’s skirt as if she’s my own child.

“Uhm, Z?” I worriedly asked. “Sir Alphonse saw the trash can first the moment he spit out the food. He should have fallen in love with the first thing he sees after ingesting the poison... I mean potion.”

“I have no idea that it can work on non-living things!” Z bowed in despair and scratched her head vigorously. Then, he looked at the real love potion that was on my hand the whole time. 

“Yeah, and it didn’t even work on Senpai.” I tiredly made a smile. “Maybe this love potion is really not effective.”

“Are you blind!?” Z cried like mad. “You can see that it’s very well effective! Now my dragon knight is being lovey-dovey with a freaking trash can! I think we should dispose of this thing early!” 

Suddenly, Z grabbed the bottle from my hands and smashed it to the ground, shattering it to hundreds of glass dust and spilling the lavender-scented potion. Not being contented, Z stomped on the criminal liquid several times.

“Haaaah! Haaaah! Take that!” Z roared as she continued to trample on the broken bottle.

“Noooo! My only ticket for Senpai to notice me!” I cried in the background.

This is no time for crying for a spilled love potion. Because the calamity is about to get worse.

“Oui, what do we have here?” Danielle made her appearance. The chocolate-skinned voluptuous beauty approached Alphonse who is busily cuddling with the trash can. She gazed on the bench and saw the last two slices of cheesecake just beside Alphonse. “Tres Bien! I’m starving, Alphonse. Can I get a slice of your cheesecake?”

“Do whatever the fuck you want.” Alphonse stood up with the trash can on his arms and went to hide in a nearby bush. Nobody knows what is he planning to do with the trash can. I don’t even want to know about it.

“Merci, Sir Alphonse~” With the confirmation, Danielle grabbed one of the cheesecakes and immediately put it in her mouth. “Bon appetit!”

“Lady Danielle, wait!” I tried to reach out, but of course, I was too late. Now we’re going to screw everything more.

“Mmmmm~ Lavender flavor~” Danielle held her blushing cheeks as she chews down the food slowly. Actually, I find it troubling that she find lavender perfumes delicious. When she opened her eyes, she fixed gaze on Z. “Did you make this fabulous cheesecake, mademoiselle Z?”

“Yes!” Z stood up proudly with her hands on her hips. “I’m really grateful that you find it delicious, Lady Danielle!”

“Ohoho!” Danielle laughed like an aristocratic baroque. “Oui, your lavender cheesecake is delicious. But I know something more delicious than this.”

“What is it?” Z stood stiff, completely unaware of what might happen.

Suddenly, Danielle pushed her face closer to Z’s left ear and made an erotic whisper. “Y.O.U~”

Shivers went down to Z’s spine the moment she heard those words. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. She wanted to scream. But it’s now too late for Danielle already have Z on her grasps. Danielle is holding Z’s wrists together, preventing her to escape. The other hand of Danielle proceeded to slide down on Z’s stomach, tickling her non-stop. Then, Danielle kissed Z’s neck.

“Eeeeeek! Nooooo!” Z cried in agony. “Serena! Please help!”

I’m surprised that the love potion has affected Lady Danielle in a weird manner. I’ve known her as a straight woman, and she’s all ladylike in all aspects. Maybe that love potion is so potent that it can trigger lesbianism to the one ingesting it. That also somehow explains why Sir Alphonse is now in love with a trash can.

Anyway, that’s not the main issue right now! We have to stop the effect of the love potion on Alphonse and Danielle, or else we’re going to be convicted of drugging dragon knights! If somebody else knows about this, we’ll surely get executed!

“H-How can we stop the effects!?” I asked Z.

“Y-Y-You need to get an antidote! A-Ah! Not there!” Z explained as she cried in agony and pleasure. Right now, Danielle is grabbing some weird places on her body. “T-T-The antidote- ouch! Don’t be rough, please! A-Anyway, the antidote is a liquified oxidized gold!”

“That’s a poison! And that’s expensive!” I cried.

“The only way to counter a poison is a poison!” Z said. “A little amount will do! You can use Forge magic, right? Now create it with your spell before I wet myself!” 

“Uh, well…” I scratched my head as I made a sorry smile. “I don’t have my forging gloves with me. You see, I accidentally sneezed on it so I still have to wash it Considering the cloudy weather, it would take two days for it to dry up.” I made a dumb laugh.

“I won’t be able to resist this for two days!” Z cried. “Call Xenon and let him forge it!”

Z is right, but I can’t just outrightly call Senpai for this. Senpai is at a meeting right now at the castle. Even if he came here, we would expose our secret of giving love potion to two dragon knights. I don’t think Senpai will prosecute or tell anybody about this incident, but if he knows the truth, especially the fact that I fed him the very same love potion this morning, it would certainly affect our relationship. Maybe Senpai will hate me for it.

“You guys calling me?” A familiar voice gave chills to my spine. Speak of the devil. It’s Xenon Wingate, my precious senpai.

“Eeeeek! Se-Se-Senpai!?” I fall down on my knees with my jaws hung. I’m certainly dead. Why is he here?

“S-Sir Xenon!” Z cried out loud. “Please forge a liquified oxidized gold! We need it to counter the love potion my Master and Lady Danielle accidentally ingested!”

“Oh, that explains why I saw Alphonse is cuddling a trash can in the bush earlier,” Senpai said with a hint of a smirk on his face. “Fine then. Forge.”

Two small glasses of liquified gold materialized from Senpai’s hands. He forcefully put it on Danielle’s mouth, which made her convulse like an epileptic and fall unconscious on the floor. Then, Senpai searched for the bush where Alphonse hid with the trash can. It didn’t take very long to find him because there are trails of garbage waist where he hid. We found the potty-mouthed blonde knight on his boxers. Senpai relentlessly shoved the glass of gold towards his fellow dragon knight, which made Alphonse pass out.

“Don’t worry, convulsion is just a side effect of the love potion dissolving on the oxidized gold. They will wake up eventually, with no memories of what happened.” Z said with a proud smile. I know we have been resting assured from this trouble, but she is the one to blame on this whole incident. I’m fifty percent to blame too, but she shouldn't act as nothing happened.

“Oh, that’s good,” Senpai said in a calm manner, not caring about the crime we have just committed. “Man, I’m starving. My meeting with the emperor got canceled, and they didn’t even have food in the castle.” 

Suddenly, Senpai fixed gaze on the last piece of cheesecake on the bench. Without any hesitation, he grabbed the cheesecake lying on the bench and gobbled it in one go.

“S-Senpai, that’s-!” I tried to stop him, but I failed again. 

“What is it?” Senpai asked naively, with his first glance at me. Then, he coughed weakly as if he’s going to catch a cold. “Damn, are my taste buds broken? Why do everything I eat taste funny? And I always smell lavender!”

I’m pretty sure I’m the one Senpai first saw when he ingested that poisoned cheesecake. But like what happened this morning, it didn’t take effect. Senpai continued to act normally as he always does. He carried the sleeping Alphonse and Danielle and laid both on the bench. Then he checked their conditions such as their pulses and vitals.

“I knew it. That love potion won’t work on him.” I muttered.

“Maybe he’s immune to it.” Z said with a smirk on her face. “I’m pretty sure the love potion I made is the most potent thing in the world. So there’s no other explanation than he’s completely immune to it.”

“Immune? Is he really immune to the love poison? I find it hard to believe because he’s easy to get drunk.” I said.

“Yeah, you’re completely right.” Z said with a mischievous smile at me. “But there is one flaw on the love potion. Just like any other toxic substance, a magical poison cannot defeat a true natural poison. The same goes for love.”

I’m completely flabbergasted.

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