I fired my bow, pulling back and releasing it in one smooth motion. It rang true, unnervingly so, and pierced the deer straight through both of its eyes, dropping it instantly. Another successful hunt. I hefted it over my shoulder and began the trudge back to my camp.

It's been a week since I awoke in the cave. I've come to terms with my new reality. I may be alive again, but this wasn't earth. That's fine, but I wish I knew why I had a strange voice talking in my head, and a jumble of meaningless numbers appearing in my face every time I think about it.

It's like a muscle I didn't know I had. If I flex it, the numbers will just float in mid-air. It seems to be a wanted poster since I certainly know how to read that part, but the rest is more or less beyond me. I only caught outlaw, body, and chips.

I also recognized the number 0. I'm pretty damn sure my bounty was far higher, so this ain't my old poster. It was very confusing, but I was good at rolling with the punches, as it were.

I suspect it has something to do with why I feel so much...more than I used to. I've been a shell of a man for 15 years, but ever since I saw the forest... well, I felt alive again. More than just being alone in nature, though that's surely part of it.

It's something beyond my understanding. I feel stronger, faster. I can think clearer, see further, sense more than before. My wound is healing at a prestigious rate and somehow didn't get infected despite the pure filth coating my arm till I finally reached a river to clean it.

More importantly, I can draw and shoot even better than before. That shot through the deer was astounding, and I'm not exactly a master archer. That moment before the shot that I've always felt lasted forever seems to literally last longer now.

I'm a whole new man.

I reached my camp, still full of energy despite walking a mile or two through the uneven ground, carrying a full-sized deer. It was a temporary thing, a different one every night. A campfire, a skinning rack, and a bedroll. Just enough for one man.

I haven't met a soul. Unless I count animals as having souls, which I don't, as I'm no injun.

Said animals were mostly the same as I was used to. Deers and wolves and whatnot, it's just that some of them had extra or missing parts, and insect-like bits like the creatures I gunned down in the cave. Another reminder that I was no longer on the planet Earth.

Nonetheless, the land had plenty to give, and I was happy to take. I was wearing an outfit of furs now, deer pelt around the shoulders, extra leather straps, a skunk hat, the whole nine yards. It was pretty cold in the mountains, so I needed to dress the part.

I'd made a bow, obviously, and was doing quite well for myself. In fact, I would be happy to live like this for the rest of my days. I could ask for nothing more.

-Three Weeks remaining till the first Wave-

I was pretty damn sure the voice in my head was listening to my thoughts, for the timing of that reminder was painful. Yeah, I was on the clock, and I didn't know what it was counting down too. So I had no choice but to keep moving.

The sun was beginning to set, as anybody worth his salt would secure his food before it got too dark to hunt. I hung the deer upside-down on the rack, and slit its throat, letting the blood drain before it went bad and spoiled the meat.

I sat down on my bed of furs. I kept quite the travel pack on me now, forged entirely from nature. I wished I had a horse though I couldn't complain all that much. I checked my guns as I do every day. All three were fully loaded, clean, and oiled. I had four more shells, 15 more round balls in my pouch, and 33 more shots for my Peacemaker. I hope I didn't need them, as I had no idea how to make ammunition.

I probably would.

I skinned the deer, kept the pelt, cooked and ate some of the meat, smoked some more, and left the rest on the carcass. I tossed the corpse some ways away from the camp, so the scavengers would focus on that scent instead of mine, and the predators would focus on the scavenger's scent.

This was nice. But I wasn't so foolish as to take it for granted. When you have something nice, something will try to take it from you. Be it greedy bastards or mysterious voices, it will come. It's a man's job to be ready to keep it.

It was two days later that I crossed the treeline and broke into a plain. It was gorgeous, it truly was. The grass wasn't all that tall, but that was probably for the best. I could see vibrant waves of green for miles, waving hypnotically in the gentle wind. The skies were clear and crystal blue. The wind carried the scent of grass, as well as pieces of it, following the drafts in the air, carefree.

There was a river, the same one I saw from my vantage point in the cave. I knew that following a river was my best chance of finding civilization, as well as providing food. Assuming the fish here didn't bite back.

It was by the river that I met my new horse. Now, I say that knowing full well that most wild horses don't make the best companions, even if you do manage to 'tame' them, but I knew this was the one.

I suppose it was love at first sight.

It was large, big as a shire, with jet black hair. It had a white mane as well as feathering, surprisingly clean-looking for a wild horse. On its face was an equally snow-white pattern, accentuating its eyes and snout. Its beauty was ethereal and dignified. Too bad the snout was marred, sealed shut by all-too-familiar mandibles.

It was trying to drink from the river and failing. It couldn't open its mouth. Air bubbles rose to the surface from where it stuck it's face into the water as if trying to inhale water instead. Maybe it was hoping the water would loosen up the barbs. It wasn't working.

We made eye contact.

"Easy, girl," I said calmly, raising my hands in the universal symbol of peace. I wasn't sure if it was a girl or not, but I figured it wouldn't mind the distinction.

It stood sharply to its feet. It didn't run, though. It just stared me down, facing me.

"I only want to help," I said, as I took a step closer.

It whinnied quietly, as best as it could without opening its mouth. It continued to stare me down.

I began to sweat. It was a bit too on guard for my liking, but I also didn't like my chances of finding another horse like this one. I kept going, whispering sweet nothings the whole way.

I found myself next to it. It loomed over me, eyes downwards, meeting my own. It was even more beautiful up close, its hair glistening in the light.

"I can help you...can you trust me?"

It continued to stare. I was debating how to reach the mandibles when the horse lowered its head of its own accord, continuing to stare me down. It whinnied affirmatively. As affirmative as a whinny could sound at least.

Frankly, this was an unbelievably bad idea. There was little chance a wild horse would take the pain I'm about to give it very well, and no chance it would understand that I am doing it for its own good. If I piss it off, I could get hooves to the head, or even worse, I would be forced to shoot such a beautiful horse.

It closed its eyes, and I went for it.

I did it the same way I removed mine, I ripped it out in one smooth motion. It took chunks of flesh with it, as well as a lot of blood. I braced myself for the bite or kick.

It never came. The damn horse didn't even flinch.

Gotta admit, I noticed the lines along its snout but assumed it was some kind of local breed marking.

Didn't expect its mouth to open in four sections.

It maintained eye contact as it seemingly stretched its sore...jaw, the sections waving around almost independently of each other. It was lined with teeth, and I could still see the gore in them, pieces of red flesh and green blood.

I didn't even react. I was shaken to the bones. I honestly felt pretty betrayed, like meeting the perfect girl who didn't mention they had a penis until it was too late.

Instead of biting my head off, which it literally could have, it turned around and stuck its head back into the water. I could see bits of flesh and blood wash away with the stream, as it thirstily lapped up water with its elongated tongue.

Okay, you know what? Maybe he was a good little horsey, and the local horseys happened to be carnivorous. That's fine, I can work with that.

I reached into my satchel and retrieved some smoked meat I was saving for later. "Want some, girl?"

Apparently it did, as it quickly turned around, and took it. How, might you ask? By using its tongue like a damn lasso from several feet away.

Wow.

It whinnied happily, as the large chunk of meat simply disappeared into its maw. The noise it made will probably haunt me. This thing was pretty clearly not a horse. I'm starting to think it might just be too dangerous to even attempt to ride. I reckon I should calmly walk away.

It finished eating. "I'm not a girl," it said.

"What."

"I said, I'm not a girl. I'm a guy. Do you not see my humongous, horsy dick?"

"What."

"Oh. An expression of surprise. Guess you're new around these parts, huh?"

I feel like my previous analogy involving trannies was even funnier in hindsight.

"Yup."

"Do you only speak in monosyllables? Are you dumb? Did you get kicked in the head by a horse almost as majestic as I am?"

His voice reminded me of an annoying Londoner I met once, who fancied himself 'upper-class' and whom I shot in the face.

"I'm just uh...thinking."

His head got lower. I could see the mocking in his eyes. Its mandibles vibrated with every word, but it didn't open them, playing the part of a beautiful horse. "About what?"

"You called yourself a horse, but you clearly aren't one."

It looked angry. Poor choice of words? How was I even picking up on a monsters' facial expressions?

"You dare? You insult me by denying me my species?!" it roared, voice becoming tinny as its mouth opened to its full length.

I wasn't feeling it. I guess I just couldn't take him very seriously. Think I was still in shock, actually.

"No, no...I've just never seen a horse quite like you, and I've seen a lot of horses."

"Quite like me!? Do you mean my beauty and strength? My glamorous hair? My perfectly groomed feathers? My massive horsy-"

"I was referring to the talking and the gaping maw. Most horses I've seen don't possess either trait, though I will admit, you are easily the most beautiful horse-like creature I've ever seen."

I thought for a moment. "Even counting the maw."

The mouth closed almost immediately, and it danced around happily. "Aww, you really think so? I know you think so because I always know when somebody tries to lie about my beauty. You have an eye for aesthetics, good sir!"

It stopped dancing and assumed a serious air. "I assume you aren't from this planet, correct?"

Planet. That was the word for earth...no, that was the word for the thing that earth is, and there are more of them, like Jupiter, mercury, and...uh...

"Naw. Ever hear of Earth?"

"No. Haven't heard of any, actually."

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause' I'm a horse."

Ah. Okay, I think I'm going to take a time-out from thinking too hard. I prefer problems that I could shoot or drink until I forget about it.

"Know where the nearest town is?"

"Also no."

"Okay. We should follow the river, then. Think we need to find some people if we want to survive whatever the 'wave' is."

The horse actually nodded. Jesus Christ. "I agree, I was doing the same before I got accosted by those wretched fucking insectoid cunts." he said, with all the vigor of someone talking about stubbing their toe. Maybe he wasn't in all that much danger, or maybe he was playing it cool.

I nodded back. "Great. Can I ride you?"

The horse jumped backward in surprise. And I meant that literally, he got a good two feet from a stationary position, which was extremely impressive. "How scandalous! You have some guts coming on to me, sir! I'll have you know that I'm only interested in mares, as they all lust for my GARGATUAM-"

"-Horsy dick?" I finished for him.

He stopped talking and stared at me again.

I stared back.

He continued to stare.

I continued to stare back.

He eventually relented and nodded. "As long as you know how."

I sighed with relief. I did, in fact, know how to ride a horse. I was quite good at it, so I didn't need a reign or saddle.

Look at that, I got myself a trusty steed already. I'm sure this would be completely unproblematic.

I almost forgot to ask. "What's your name?"

The horse looked up, almost thoughtfully, as if trying to recall knowledge long lost.

"It's Jeff," said Jeff.

I don't know why, but that really pissed me off.