Warmth isn’t the only thing waiting for me - I’m met by a very unwelcome sight: my big brother.

Lee’s waiting for me in the entry of my flat, sitting on the cold stone steps, wrapped up in his usual hoody and tracksuit bottoms tucked into thick socks. The dim light of the close only accentuates his scar, the slice that ran from his right ear to the side of his lips. His jade eyes, tired and puffy, peer at me from underneath his dirty blonde hair, bleached tips almost white under the tungsten light.

The very sight of him fills me with that familiar dread I’d felt in the lead up to the indy referendum last year.

You see, Lee and I had been as close as we could possibly be until he’d announced his decision to vote no. Don’t misunderstand me here - it wasn’t his decision that had changed our relationship. I’m man enough to accept that no matter how close we are, how similar we are, we aren’t always gonna agree on things and something as tremendous as the future of an entire country is no joking matter. I won’t lie though - I thought his reasoning was fucking stupid. I still do.

Lee would talk of glory days and of being a soldier and fighting for queen and country, but the reality is that Lee only did four months of training to join the Royal Artillery and had given up. Of course, when that was brought up in our heated exchanges, it only made his rage more intense.

See, it’d been his conduct in the lead up to the historic vote. Every single friendly debate had turned into a vicious argument and to be fair, we’d both said things that were out of line but…well, while Lee had always had a temper, all of a sudden I infuriated him at every turn. Funny thing was, in the aftermath of the vote when he’d won, he’d never seemed happy about it - not even a smile. I think he knew it was a bitter victory - sure, he’d won but bonds had been broken. I haven’t seem him much since I’d had enough of his bullshit and shocked our parents by announcing I’d just accepted the keys of a flat. I’d kept my housing application secret. I knew it’d only make matters worse between the family. I’d waited until they couldn’t stop me and left.

And yet, here he is.

He greets me with a nod and a strained smile spread across his marked face. We don’t even exchange proper salutations as he gets to his feet, his knees cracking loudly and echoing through the building.

“Mum’s…” he shakes his head for a moment, “Mum and I aren’t getting along. I was hoping I could ask you to…let me crash for a day or two until she cools down.”

My eye twitches as I stare up at him. Seriously? Lee’s a strong guy, a gym fiend, and here, far from the guarding eyes of our parents, I’m not prepared to deny him, even if I want to slap some sense into him. What a cheek. Even in my own fucking home I can’t escape him… Then again, at the end of the day, he’s still my brother.

With a sigh, I sling my backpack down off my shoulder and unzip it, rummaging for my keys. When I find them, I catch Lee’s jade gaze, shrug in response and walk past him, unlocking the flat door. He doesn’t turn with me.

“So you’re just gonna completely blank me then, aye?”

“Lee, get in,” I growl.

“Wait, what?” His rough voice quietens for a moment as he realises I’m not denying him shelter. “Thanks…” The gratitude is strained, stifled but at least it’s there.

“I’m not gonna see you out on the street if the argument is that serious.” I explain, ushering him into the dark hallway. With a click, light floods in, revealing the laminate flooring and the magnolia walls. Lee gazes around himself, taking in his new surroundings. It’s the first time he’s actually set foot inside my new home. Not that I’ve never invited him - he’s just never wanted to enter.

We’re greeted by the trotting of tiny paws as Indy comes to say hello to us (no, he wasn’t named after the referendum - his first collar was indigo so he became Indy). The young ginger cat stops as he sees Lee but then his friendly and curious nature gets the better of him and he comes scampering up to rub himself on my brother’s legs. Lee bends down to stroke him and then stands back up, scanning his surroundings again. He becomes fixated on my best photographs, framed and hanging proudly on the wall.

“Nice.” He unzips his hoody and hangs it on the coat rack. He stretches for a moment then runs his hands over his red t-shirt to try to get rid of some of the creases on it.

“There’s some duvets in the boiler cupboard,” I tell him, pointing him to the door on his left. “I don’t have any spare pillows though.” As I take off my backpack and hang it beside his hoody, I realise I technically do have spare ones. “Actually, I can give you the other pillow from my bed.”

“Still nae woman yet?” he asks me, pulling out my spare winter duvet from the cupboard. I shake my head.

“No time.”

And that’s where the conversation stops for the time being - my ambitions and over-achievement are a tender wound for Lee who’d struggled at school. Poor guy has always lived in his little brother’s shadow. Lee has his own merits - he excels at sports and biology but he’s always been jealous of my creativity. I guess the referendum had just opened the floodgates for his other issues with me to come spewing forth. Still, blood is blood and no matter how fucked up our relationship becomes, we’re still family, and I’ll never see my brother without a bed for the night.

“You mind me asking what happened with mum?” I call through as he disappears into the living room to set up his makeshift bed on my couch. Silence for a few moments.

“I’m going to college.” His words catch me off guard. Lee has never been interested in college despite his envy of my achievements. He’s finally doing it?

“Good on you, mate.”

“Bah. Mum’s going fucking mental over it.”

“Why?”

“Says I’m twenty six now - I should already have a career.”

“Oh,” I fall quiet as I wander into my bedroom, casting a glance at the wall clock. It’s 7pm. Had Ryan and I really spent that much time wandering around talking pish? As for Lee, well…why does it matter if he’s got it all figured out or not? His army dreams hadn’t panned out but that could just as easily have been me with my photography dreams. Why does mum always feel the need to be a complete cow to him?

I don’t comment. I know that if either of us say the wrong thing or something innocent that can be taken the wrong way, he’ll blow up again, especially if he’s already feeling pretty rough. I let it go.

The night is quiet, calm and awkward. Lee lies in the living room watching videos on his phone and I snuggle up on my bed with my laptop researching astrophotography. Indy leaps up on the bed from out of nowhere, announcing his arrival with a curious meow. He flops on the bed beside me and erupts into soft purrs as he gazes up at me with that familiar adoration that so often clouded his little maple syrup eyes. I plunge my hand into his furry belly and pet him until he falls asleep.

Ryan adds me on Facebook and we banter idly for an hour or so before he logs off and I go back to my college work.

Lee leaves in the morning - mum phones him to apologise while I’m still asleep but he wakes me up before he leaves. I bid him farewell and as I close the door behind him, I ponder what he’s chosen to do at college. I should have asked him when I had the chance but I’d been too busy walking on eggshells.

For the next two weeks, college life is largely uneventful. Ryan and I continue to hang out as we’d agreed and that astrophotography essay…well I shoulda chosen a better subject. Information isn’t as easy to come by as I’d hoped it would be. I still pass though and that’s when Adriano reveals the college’s project to us.

“This is a live brief,” he explains, pacing the concrete floor in front of the projector, “so you’re actually working for a client this time.” Instantly, my face lights up with interest. “You’ll be working for the council - they want something to help make recycling appealing to young people like yourselves or even maybe younger. Collaboration is encouraged between you all but it’s not necessary. They were very vague about their brief - literally just “make it appeal to young people” so you have full creative freedom with this. Do what you will but have it done by the sixteenth of November. You have five weeks.”

This is my kinda thing!

That lunchtime, I tell Ryan that we’ve finally been told about the sustainability project - my objective is the exact same as his. After some more banter, he suggests that we should collaborate. I knew it was coming. I was hoping it was coming. I’m a little dubious at first, having always done things by myself but I realise that I haven’t actually seen any of Ryan’s work yet and I recall how Adriano had praised him. Maybe it’ll be interesting to try new things? We agree to knock our brains together - Ryan explains he’s going grocery shopping with his brother after college but he’ll be free afterwards. I invite him over, giving him my address.

The rain begins to fall that afternoon and I sit gazing out of the classroom’s giant windows, tapping my pencil off my lip studs as I jot down ideas. What can I do to promote recycling to kids and teens? A phone app pops into my head instantly. It makes perfect sense - everyone has smart phones. Everyone downloads apps. Why not do something - anything - that’ll translate well into an application? Maybe a little game or something? I don’t know how I’ll fit in as a photographer but I’m sure we’ll figure something out