Chapter 43
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The carriage drove along a bumpy road, right in the middle of five hundred armed men with closed curtains. Well, around five hundred as we apparently lost three men right in the very beginning. Nobody knew where they went, or where their corpses were if they got attacked. As such, we could only march on, with 497 men.

The vehicle probably seemed a lot more peaceful from the outside than the inside though. Sparks flew between Markus and me as we argued if the spear was a viable weapon. I obviously had the opinion that this weapon was useless as spearmen usually died first in a battle. He on the other side, claimed that it was necessary to keep horsemen at bay who I could easily behead with any other weapon.

“Only a blind oracle will predict that spearmen will save the world! The heroes always use the sword while the evil side uses weird weapons. It is always like this you filthy maggot!” I was enraged but held back from punching him right then as I wanted to ride this carriage a little longer.

“You old hag probably learned this knowledge from thousands of years ago!”

“Old hag? Hey, that’s mean! I´m still in my teens!” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and blew my nose out of protest. He was a meanie to judge my age like this …

“Don’t make me laugh. Everyone knows that loli vampires are at least a thousand years old.” I gritted my teeth full of frustration as I also read a few similar books. But the comment about my age wasn’t what made me furious.

“What did the flea infected ape in front of me just say?” I pressed out between my teeth.

“I said that the dwarf in front of me isn’t just small, but also freakishly old.” Now it was his time to cross his arms in front of him and look away from me.

“Take that back!”

“What? That you are damn small or that you are older than all of my grandparents combined?”

He realized that he went too far as I pushed myself forward and grabbed him by his collar. I didn’t throw him out of the carriage though, but rather grabbed into his luggage and rummaged through it while he tried to flee from my grasp. As I found what I was searching for, I pulled it out swiftly and bit into the cork that closed the lid of the wine bottle. With satisfaction, I emptied the whole bottle above his head and threw the glass on the ground. Sadly, it was a bit too durable and didn’t burst into thousand pieces right away. Only then did I let go of him, but kept his luggage close to me.

“I´m sorry! It is just …”

“just what?” I was already incredibly furious, so any further bullying from him would be quite bad.

“Lying is prohibited under military law.”

“AGHH!” I threw it out. I grabbed the whole bag he packed and threw everything out of the moving carriage. The guards looked like goats and burst out into laughter as the luggage nearly hit one of them at the head. Markus on the other hand looked like he just died, but he seemed strangely happy as well as he finally found a way to anger me.

“Please don’t fight me!”

“Why shouldn’t I?”

“You have a dishonourable advantage because of your height in this cramped space.” I threw him out. I couldn’t hurt him for real, but I didn’t need to. As soon as I pointed to the door and got dangerously silent, he saluted, opened the door and jumped out of the moving carriage. I deeply wished that he sprained his ankle, but I rather closed my eyes again instead of agitating myself even further because of how short I was.

It is a short chapter, so I kindof have to add a few words until I reach at least a thousand. So here we go, the whole chapter again:

1010100 1101000 1100101 100000 1100011 1100001 1110010 1110010 1101001 1100001 1100111 1100101 100000 1100100 1110010 1101111 1110110 1100101 100000 1100001 1101100 1101111 1101110 1100111 100000 1100001 100000 1100010 1110101 1101101 1110000 1111001 100000 1110010 1101111 1100001 1100100 101100 100000 1110010 1101001 1100111 1101000 1110100 100000 1101001 1101110 100000 1110100 1101000 1100101 100000 1101101 1101001 1100100 1100100 1101100 1100101 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1100110 1101001 1110110 1100101 100000 1101000 1110101 1101110 1100100 1110010 1100101 1100100 100000 1100001 1110010 1101101 1100101 1100100 100000 1101101 1100101 1101110 100000 1110111 1101001 1110100 1101000 100000 1100011 1101100 1101111 1110011 1100101 1100100 100000 1100011 1110101 1110010 1110100 1100001 1101001 1101110 1110011 101110 100000 1010111 1100101 1101100 1101100 101100 100000 1100001 1110010 1101111 1110101 1101110 1100100 100000 1100110 1101001 1110110 1100101 100000 1101000 1110101 1101110 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10011101 1101 1010 11100010 10000000 10011100 1010111 1101000 1100001 1110100 111111 100000 1010100 1101000 1100001 1110100 100000 1111001 1101111 1110101 100000 1100001 1110010 1100101 100000 1100100 1100001 1101101 1101110 100000 1110011 1101101 1100001 1101100 1101100 100000 1101111 1110010 100000 1110100 1101000 1100001 1110100 100000 1111001 1101111 1110101 100000 1100001 1110010 1100101 100000 1101111 1101100 1100100 1100101 1110010 100000 1110100 1101000 1100001 1101110 100000 1100001 1101100 1101100 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1101101 1111001 100000 1100111 1110010 1100001 1101110 1100100 1110000 1100001 1110010 1100101 1101110 1110100 1110011 100000 1100011 1101111 1101101 1100010 1101001 1101110 1100101 1100100 111111 11100010 10000000 10011101 100000 1101 1010 1001000 1100101 100000 1110010 1100101 1100001 1101100 1101001 1111010 1100101 1100100 100000 1110100 1101000 1100001 1110100 100000 1101000 1100101 100000 1110111 1100101 1101110 1110100 100000 1110100 1101111 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1111001 100000 1110011 1101000 1101111 1110101 1101100 1100100 1101110 11100010 10000000 10011001 1110100 100000 1001001 111111 11100010 10000000 10011101 1101 1010 11100010 10000000 10011100 1011001 1101111 1110101 100000 1101000 1100001 1110110 1100101 100000 1100001 100000 1100100 1101001 1110011 1101000 1101111 1101110 1101111 1110101 1110010 1100001 1100010 1101100 1100101 100000 1100001 1100100 1110110 1100001 1101110 1110100 1100001 1100111 1100101 100000 1100010 1100101 1100011 1100001 1110101 1110011 1100101 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1111001 1101111 1110101 1110010 100000 1101000 1100101 1101001 1100111 1101000 1110100 100000 1101001 1101110 100000 1110100 1101000 1101001 1110011 100000 1100011 1110010 1100001 1101101 1110000 1100101 1100100 100000 1110011 1110000 1100001 1100011 1100101 101110 11100010 10000000 10011101 100000 1001001 100000 1110100 1101000 1110010 1100101 1110111 100000 1101000 1101001 1101101 100000 1101111 1110101 1110100 101110 100000 1001001 100000 1100011 1101111 1110101 1101100 1100100 1101110 11100010 10000000 10011001 1110100 100000 1101000 1110101 1110010 1110100 100000 1101000 1101001 1101101 100000 1100110 1101111 1110010 100000 1110010 1100101 1100001 1101100 101100 100000 1100010 1110101 1110100 100000 1001001 100000 1100100 1101001 1100100 1101110 11100010 10000000 10011001 1110100 100000 1101110 1100101 1100101 1100100 100000 1110100 1101111 101110 100000 1000001 1110011 100000 1110011 1101111 1101111 1101110 100000 1100001 1110011 100000 1001001 100000 1110000 1101111 1101001 1101110 1110100 1100101 1100100 100000 1110100 1101111 100000 1110100 1101000 1100101 100000 1100100 1101111 1101111 1110010 100000 1100001 1101110 1100100 100000 1100111 1101111 1110100 100000 1100100 1100001 1101110 1100111 1100101 1110010 1101111 1110101 1110011 1101100 1111001 100000 1110011 1101001 1101100 1100101 1101110 1110100 101100 100000 1101000 1100101 100000 1110011 1100001 1101100 1110101 1110100 1100101 1100100 101100 100000 1101111 1110000 1100101 1101110 1100101 1100100 100000 1110100 1101000 1100101 100000 1100100 1101111 1101111 1110010 100000 1100001 1101110 1100100 100000 1101010 1110101 1101101 1110000 1100101 1100100 100000 1101111 1110101 1110100 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1110100 1101000 1100101 100000 1101101 1101111 1110110 1101001 1101110 1100111 100000 1100011 1100001 1110010 1110010 1101001 1100001 1100111 1100101 101110 100000 1001001 100000 1100100 1100101 1100101 1110000 1101100 1111001 100000 1110111 1101001 1110011 1101000 1100101 1100100 100000 1110100 1101000 1100001 1110100 100000 1101000 1100101 100000 1110011 1110000 1110010 1100001 1101001 1101110 1100101 1100100 100000 1101000 1101001 1110011 100000 1100001 1101110 1101011 1101100 1100101 101100 100000 1100010 1110101 1110100 100000 1001001 100000 1110010 1100001 1110100 1101000 1100101 1110010 100000 1100011 1101100 1101111 1110011 1100101 1100100 100000 1101101 1111001 100000 1100101 1111001 1100101 1110011 100000 1100001 1100111 1100001 1101001 1101110 100000 1101001 1101110 1110011 1110100 1100101 1100001 1100100 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1100001 1100111 1101001 1110100 1100001 1110100 1101001 1101110 1100111 100000 1101101 1111001 1110011 1100101 1101100 1100110 100000 1100101 1110110 1100101 1101110 100000 1100110 1110101 1110010 1110100 1101000 1100101 1110010 100000 1100010 1100101 1100011 1100001 1110101 1110011 1100101 100000 1101111 1100110 100000 1101000 1101111 1110111 100000 1110011 1101000 1101111 1110010 1110100 100000 1001001 100000 1110111 1100001 1110011 101110 1101 1010 1101 1010

4207 words. Easy.

What sounds scarier?
  • The peepeepoopoo man Votes: 25 59.5%
  • The poopoopeepee man Votes: 17 40.5%
Total voters: 42
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