I never knew buying a few clothes would be this difficult. I naturally knew the citizens were interested in me, but not to this degree. We had to take the carriage from one shop to another if we didn’t want to be stuck in the streets. Our guards did their best to hold them off, but walking was still out of question.

That wasn’t even the worst part though. I seriously didn’t know if I bought clothes for me, or if Mary brought my clothes for her own enjoyment. She forced me to wear frilly pink dresses, plain white ones that accentuated my innocence rather well, or whatever else caught her attention. Even as I made a fuss about it, the tailors were always on her side as she was the one paying in the end and I was only nine in their eyes.

Mary wasn’t entirely inconsiderate though. After a while of quarrelling in front of a tailor, I managed to convince her to buy me a completely white airy dress with a small black frilly stripe at the bottom. And then I gave up struggling for anything that I liked. My dream of a black and red dress was thoroughly crushed by a growing pile of white or light pink clothing.

“Mum … I can´t …” I said, feeling strangely exhausted as she handed me the hundredth dress she wanted me to wear.

“Honey, just this one.” She said for the quadrillionth time.

“That’s what you told me an hour ago …” I lamented.

“Hey, I always let you fool around as much as you want, but now it´s my time to have some fun.” She whispered into my ear and I let my shoulders fall down in defeat.

“Muuuu …” I groaned but didn’t resist her attempt to pull my dress upwards and dress me in a new one.

“Oh, my, you look beautiful in this one. What do you think Mrs. Schneider?” She said and turned towards the tailor right next to her.

“I think it fits the young miss perfectly.” Why are you asking her, Mary? I groaned once more, knowing full well that the shopkeeper would tell Mary whatever she wished to hear.

After hours and hours of this torture, I was finally freed of it as we sat at a restaurant and I simply let my head fall down onto the table. I never knew I could be this exhausted. It wasn’t physical exhaustion. I could still move around perfectly fine with my pitiful strength the sun couldn’t rob me. It was just incredibly mentally draining to wear all these frilly, childish clothes because Mary decided to. At least I could order whatever I wanted to eat, but in the meantime, I had to live with her nagging so that I eventually sat down properly as a noble lady should.

“Lucy, there are even more shops in the capital city.” I opened my eyes wide, not that she could see this behind my dark sunglasses.

“Oh no...” I would die if she would pull me through these shops there. If not, I would need to rest for a year to regain my sanity.

“I´m sure we will have fun there.” She said with a huge grin on her face.

“Oh … no.” I repeated, a lot more dispirited than earlier.

“Oh. Yes.” We ended our little conversation as the waiter arrived with our two meals. Mary preferred something light and ordered a salad while I ordered a rather simple meal. A few fried potatoes, a bit of salad and some meat. It should be fairly easy to cook this, but after the first bite I already had to force myself to eat. Mary didn’t seem to have any problems with the food at all, but I … I hated it. The potatoes weren’t done well, the salad needed a bit less sauce and my meat was probably tortured in the pan instead of cooked properly … not that I had anything against torture.

After the debacle at the restaurant, we simply went back. I originally wanted to visit the library … but it turned out there was none. The literacy rate was rather low in the first place and those who could read were either wealthy enough to buy a few books, or simply didn’t have the time to read. Mary tried to comfort me by saying there was a library in the capital, but I still pouted all the way back. At least she didn´t force me to visit more shops after all.

I terrorized her during the night as revenge and reluctantly, she allowed me to leave the mansion the next day without her supervision. They were still two guards who also guided me around, following me in normal clothing, but otherwise, I felt like a normal kid. I wore a large straw hat, blocking off most curious gazes and a pink, airy dress. Few connected me to the White´s family, but those who concluded I was Lucy White because of my sunglasses had the decency to leave me alone in my undercover mission.

My first stop was at a flower shop I saw the day before. I swiftly picked out a bunch of lilies and paid without wasting any further time in the shop. As I went outside again with a sad expression on my face, I walked towards one of the guards.

“I heard there was a horrible tragedy in an orphanage … can you guide me there?” First of all, I really didn’t know how to get there. Going to the flower shop was easy, it was down the main road, but the orphanage? Not a chance. The guard was visibly surprised by my request but nonetheless nodded after a second or so. Without further ado, he led me into a district of this city that was way less colourful or bustling with humans than the main street. The houses looked more and more worn out and so did the humans living there. The sanitary conditions were … horrible. Most citizens simply discarded their … waste into a gutter embedded into the street and even with my dull senses, it smelled disgusting. These gutters were cleaned regularly, but they still smelled bad. Well, it was still better than in other cities where they simply discarded their waste out of the window.

A few minutes later, we already stood in front of the orphanage. It was largely left to its own demise now that it was uninhabited. Well, there were certainly a few thugs and beggars who used this house from time to time and the glass windows were already neatly stolen, but otherwise, it looked completely the same. Even the sign still hung there.

I didn’t complain about the different usage of this house now, but what really made me angry was the disregard for the kids. There was a simple wooden cross in front of the house, laying on the floor and already slightly damaged. Furious, I squatted down in front of it and placed it upright again. I tried to push it into the earth, but I simply didn’t have the strength to do so. Helpless, I turned around and looked at my two guards who directly understood what to do. Together, we dug a hole with our hands and pushed the cross deeply into the ground. With their weight, they solidified the earth around it again. A bit less dispirited, I laid the lilies in front of the cross.

“From the bottom of my heart, I wish you a simple voyage and for you to find happiness in the afterlife.” I stood in front of the orphanage for a few seconds until I turned around and made my way through the small crowd of onlookers. It was apparently a bit uncommon for a young noble to mourn for a few orphans and their caretaker. Most simply didn’t know what to make out of it.

I originally planned to buy a few unsuspicious clothings I wanted like the white dress with the black frills at the bottom, but I just wasn’t in the mood for that. My heart was aching again and no matter what I tried, it kept hurting. I knew it would go away after some time, but the sadness that came back from visiting this place would remain for a bit longer.

And so, we went back to the burnt mansion where I swiftly entered Mary´s study. She was signing a few documents, barely looking up as I leaned onto the desk.

“I need money.” I declared.

“Oh, there is a long row of supplicants who want money. What do you need it for?” She said, already reading the next document.

“How many orphanages are there in Eastminster?” I asked swiftly.

“Well …” She looked out of the open door towards her guards. “since the last one got destroyed … but I cannot give you money for that.”

“Why?” I asked, already quite desperate.

“Okay, it´s either developing the lands out of the city so that a few families don’t have to starve, or running an orphanage. And currently, we need to feed all the families who lost their farmers, workers, whatever they worked as, in the war. Even though we don’t need to field an army just now … I´m basically bankrupt. We can only finance rebuilding the mansion because I sold most of the other stuff we had flying around and I need to invite the other nobles someday.”

“Is there really no way?” I said and let my shoulders fall down.

“I don’t see how.” Angry and depressed at the same time, I left her study once more. This was my chance of trying to make up for what I did. I could easily tell Aska that it was because I acted as Mary´s friendly, compassionate daughter and not because I felt bad for them. Well, he would certainly doubt it, but he couldn’t prove it.

And so, I went back to where I had all my books, fished out an economics book and started working on my money laundering scheme.