“Do you know how much I hate you?” I asked, gritting my teeth in frustration.

“Aww, and I assumed we hit it off greatly.” She claimed. We definitely did not. The last time I saw her I threatened to murder what she considered as hers. And honestly, it did seem to work, at least for a little while.

“You nearly ruined everything. Did you know Aska tortured me because you gave me your protection? Goddess of life my ass.” I shouted furiously. It was her. Everything was her goddamn fault.

“Outch, don’t be like this. You are in my church after all.” She said and pointed towards one of the statues. As I followed her gaze, I noticed how this particular statue was bleeding out of its eyes, which was generally a bad sign, especially for me right now.

“Sofie is so dead.” I said drily. And I meant it. I wouldn’t let any god except Aska have any sway over me.

“Sofie? Oh well, you can try, but you won’t succeed. She isn´t on this planet anymore.” The goddess said as if it was completely natural.

“You killed her?” I exclaimed, honestly surprised by the revelation, even though I could see Irminsul do exactly that. All gods hat the potential to kill, even the goddess of life.

“Oh no! Let´s say, I made it as if she never existed in the first place. How does that sound?” She said, quite infuriated by the accusation.

“Why?” I asked. I thought she wanted to bring Sofie out of my reach, but the reason was completely different.

“Hmm … admittedly, I made a slight mistake in reincarnating her too early. The other gods noticed though and reminded me of the time she was supposed to appear.” Completely nonsensical. She wouldn’t make such a dumb mistake. No god would.

“And when is that?” I asked, full of hostility. I honestly had enough of that crap.

“Next season.” She said, throwing me off guard completely. I expected some kind of mystical answer like ‘in  two hundred years, honey’ or similar, but not this.

“Winter? Fine, I´ll find her then and kill her.” I said, this time completely devoid of any emotions.

“Eh? Oh, not this kind of season, my darling.” I had to admit her answer was indeed mystical and I couldn´t really make much sense out of it.

“Whenever she reappears on this planet, her life will be over the moment I meet her.” I concluded and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“I highly doubt that. Let´s not talk about this right now …” She said, finally realizing I wouldn’t change my position.

“Where is Aska? He will not like what you are doing right now.” I said, hoping she would revert everything she did until know in the face of him.

“Askatesh is on holiday on earth. I belief he is sipping on a tequila sunrise right now.” My jaw dropped quite literally. I had never heard such a … banal answer so far. He and a holiday? But for once, I didn´t doubt her.

“Holiday …” I was so close to exploding. He didn´t answer all my calls because he was … on holiday. Yeah, I could honestly see him doing that, even though it made me incredibly furious.

“That´s what I just said. Let´s change topics to something better, shall we?” Something better? Could there even be anything like this.

“There is nothing we need to talk about?” I concluded.

“So mean … why don’t we talk about this … about all of this. How much did you figure out already?” She questioned, which made me quite furious as she was questioning my intelligence quite brazenly. Well, I had to admit I didn´t see it from the very beginning, which made me gnash my teeth in frustration.

“Where should I start? How my ‘father’ came up with the idea of selling us out? You probably had you fingers in there as well, didn´t you? Or how the king gave me time to prove my origin? That was laughable. Everyone else would have executed me on the spot. You probably contracted Mary as soon as she started reaching out to different churches as well to invite her here. But no, you probably started even further than that. Sofie. That wasn’t a mistake, it was on purpose. I don’t know what game you are playing, but I refuse to take part in it.” I said and noticed how more and more statues started to bleed with blood, and yet nobody seemed to realize. I was trapped in an illusion, just like all the others were as well.

“I knew I could rely on you! Great job in figuring everything out! Even though you were a little late … but let me tell you this: You can still turn everything around.”

“I refuse. I´d rather stick to my shitty plan of murdering as many as I can.” I said and balled my hands into fists. I didn´t want to follow the path this goddess laid out for me by all means.

“You can do that and I couldn’t do anything to stop you, but she …”, the goddess pointed towards Mary who was apparently near the end of her speech. “she won´t leave this place alive. Imagine all the possibilities if you do a small favour for me.” I grabbed the edge of the bench tightly and dug my nails into the wood.

“The goddess of life is threatening a normal human? I don’t believe it. I refuse. I´d rather stick to Aska.” I said, as if I had any hope in him in the first place. He would probably love to see Mary die.

“Ahh, I advise you against that. He tends to ruin his family.” Mary stopped speaking and loud applause filled the room. “I want you to keep Sofie safe, no matter what it takes. You don’t have to decide right now either … just praise me during your speech and we have a deal. If you go back on your word though …” She stood up and waited for Mary to come closer, until they stood side by side. Mary still couldn’t see her, which apparently didn´t stop the goddess from running her index finger across her throat. For the goddess of life, she was certainly a bit too murderous.

“Mary, where is Sofie?” I asked while standing up slowly.

“Sofie? Who is that?” She said, underlining the earlier words of the goddess.

Reluctantly, I passed the goddess on my way towards the altar. I was honestly in a pinch. If the goddess could truly kill Mary, I basically had no choice but to agree to her demand. Honestly, I doubted she could to that though. While she managed to manipulate at least three humans, she herself said she couldn’t save anyone in this room from me. Still, her threat was like a Damocles sword, hovering right above Mary. The way the goddess stood beside Mary, so full of confidence, underlined this fact as well.

I gripped the altar tightly and faced the large crowd. I could only see my targets, was already imagining all the paths I could take to spread as much chaos as possible.

“My dear guests, my fellow citizens, my friends. I am incredibly thankful you all gathered here to support this just cause. This cause goes beyond nobility, beyond wealth and beyond age. I know these invitations were rather … surprising. I mean, who could have guessed the king would chose my mother and me to host this event. After all, I am only ten. But the king, like always, had a reason to do so. He saw something in me. Something I have yet to understand, because I was hopelessly overburdened all of a sudden.” I looked downwards humbly, then towards the king and grabbed the altar even tighter. Wooden splinters dug into my flesh, but the blood refused to flow. I was angry. Furious. I wanted a bloodbath, everything in me itched me to fight till death. To wipe this stupid smile from the goddess face. But looking at her, I also saw Mary.

I breathed in sharply and continued my speech.

“But I worked till I could no more, and even beyond that. Just because I know how it is. I know how it is to sleep on the ground, to work hard on the fields because you may not survive the winter otherwise. And I also knew when our neighbours need help, for example as their roof collapsed due to heavy snow. And our eastern neighbours not only lost their roof, but their everything. They live in the tents we provided hastily, but they will not survive the winter like this. And thus, I, an ten year old girl who knows nothing about this world beg you all for help. I beg you to show everyone the brightest sides of nobility, how much we actually do for everyone else, and I beg you to follow your heart.”

I looked over to Mary one last time and noticed how she was tearing up involuntarily, even though she knew I meant nothing of what I just said. The goddess on the other hand looked onto her wrist and then shook her head swiftly. She was weird, but she still pulled all the strings at the moment.

“… I truly believe humanities greatest strength is cooperation. Together, we can achieve everything. We can build the ideal society, but for that, we need to pull on one rope. Together, be it kings, dukes, princes, marquess, earls, viscounts, barons, knights, lords, normal citizens, and naturally their female counterparts … I think everything that had to be said was said.” I looked over to the goddess who raised an eyebrow. I hated her. I hated her so much … but I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk Mary´s life just because of my own feelings. I couldn’t. The goddess won.

“So I can only wish for the gods to grant us their mercy in our venture. From the mighty god of creation to the humorous goddess of life, I pray for their support.”

Silence. Not the silence where everyone was in awe, but rather the silence where everyone needed to think. And in this silence permeating through this colossal structure, I could hear a tongue clicking.

“Is everything a joke for you?” Was she angry about my praise? I thought humorous was a great way to describe her, a big cosmical joke. Happily, I nodded, unseen by everyone except the goddess and let go of the altar. The goddess snipped once and vanished from my sight. The blood on the statues vanished alongside with her and bright light flooded the cathedral through the rose window on the opposite site as if the sun suddenly rose again. It didn´t blind me though. It was just like the light souls gave off, just yellow instead of blue.

It wasn’t the only thing that glowed though. The shadow of the altar was behaving quite weirdly as it was nearly hidden from me underneath the wood, meaning something over me shone as well. I could already imagine what it was though and thus didn´t dare to look up as I couldn’t risk ruining this moment. And thus, I closed my eyes, thinking about all the faces that looked at me in awe and reverence all of a sudden.

How much I hated that day.