What does love even mean? Was it the heat at my belly, stemming from Jacob as his arm was around my waist? Or was it just hormones? Was I indefinitely loving Aska because I was drowned with hormones if I only thought about him? I pushed myself even closer to Jacob who was laying behind me on his side, just like I was. His heat radiated through my clothing, stronger than I ever felt it before.

It all didn´t matter. Mary mattered way more than anything else. I would do everything to keep her out of harm’s way, that’s what I swore to myself. She was the only normal one who loved me despite knowing what I was. She didn´t love a character of me I designed to be loved by her, she loved me. And she was the only human ever capable of doing so.

“I´m so sorry.” I whispered as I snuck out of his embrace. I would try to keep him alive, maybe because of a hint of pity, or maybe because I couldn’t bear seeing him die with love in his eyes. It reminded me time and time again of the only possible way I could die: In front of Aska, with love in my eyes.

Slowly, I sneaked out of the room and closed the door behind me quietly. Carefully not to make any noise, I walked away from it and turned towards the stairwell. It led me to the highest floor, full of dusty books and most importantly, windows. I swiftly opened one of them and climbed onto the roof like an ape. The wind blew into my face as I sat down on the sloped roof tiles. I looked at the starry night sky for quite some time, hugging my own knees closely.

“Life isn´t fair.” I jerked up as Mary suddenly knelt behind me, hugging me from behind. My eyes darted around, searching for anyone except her in the surroundings. I found nobody, but that didn´t mean I was alone.

“You are an illusion.” I claimed and tried to grab her arms, only to see my fingers passing through her.

“Illusion? I am from here.” She pointed towards my very dead heart as if it was completely natural. Either I was going completely crazy, or I was really in some sort of illusion.

“There is nothing there. Only the bottomless abyss.” I claimed while grinning haughtily.

“If you say so…” Mary, or whatever this thing was, sat down right next to me and hugged her knees just like I did. “You need to murder him.”

“What?” I asked, completely flabbergasted.

“He is a demon. A human corrupted to their core.” He explained, which didn´t make much sense in my opinion. Wasn’t he a werewolf?

“And I am not?” I was corrupted as well, even more so than anyone on this planet.

“Your soul isn´t human. You are something else entirely.” I rolled my eyes at something I already knew. Well, he probably wouldn’t answer me and as I was more than likely dealing with the crazy professor, but I really wanted to get the information I needed.

“And why should I kill him? He is my only hope of getting out of this unscathed.” I said swiftly.

“Because he is a demon. And when the saint ascends, they will get even more powerful.” I blinked a few times, slowly working through what he said.

“What did you say?” I asked shortly afterwards.

“Because he is a demon.” Yeah, I understood that.

“After that.” I said.

“They will get more powerful.” Mary said, slowly standing up.

“...” For fucks sake.

“You will ascend to become something more.”

“Tell me.” I wanted to know more. I wanted to know everything.

“I don’t know any more.” She claimed, and I was sort of believing her.

“Who are you?” I asked with a hint of hostility in my voice.

“A humble messenger of the gods who wants you to break out of your shell. Go as far as you must with the boy and even beyond that. And then kill him.” Mary claimed and bowed slightly.

“You are indeed crazy …” I said, and watched in amazement how Mary vanished slowly, her atoms slowly chiselled away by the wind. And then, everything ended. The wind stopped blowing, the stars went out one by one, and all the light vanished. The only thing I could still feel were the roof tiles under me until even they vanished.