“Here you go. I suppose your friends can take care of you better than I do.” The pope said, stepping onto something and putting me on some kind of bench. Still wrapped in my blanket, I could do nothing but hug myself a little tighter.

“You look like shit.” The whore said the moment the door shut close.

“Wrong timing. Hannah, could you look on the ground for my glasses? These things like to hide in corners.” I stated.

“… sorry.” The whore muttered, strangely empathic all of a sudden while I could hear Hannah kneeling down onto the ground.

“What happened? This was supposed to take four days at most.” I said, even though I wasn’t that interested. The two days I would gain by that wouldn’t be enough for Laura to survive.

“Well, they only allowed me to visit you … as you … ehm … when yo …” She stumbled over her words as she knew I would be uncomfortable with it.

“When I was raped, just say it.” I said plainly and noticed how Hannah was putting the glasses on my face.

“Do you … do you remember anything?” Hannah asked, looking at me with worry.

“No … and I really want it to stay that way.” I answered and smiled for the first time in days, even though it was a rather bitter smile.

“Okay, I won´t tell you anything.” The whore said, which was very considerate of her.

“Lucinda, is there anything we … I can do for you?” Hannah asked, clearly concerned about me, probably even more so as she felt me trembling when she laid her hands on my knees which were still covered by the blanket.

“No … I … give me something to wear.” I said quietly.

“Alright.” She said, stood up and opened the door. It didn´t take long for her to get back with pants and a shirt. I stood up as soon as she closed the door, threw the blanket into the other side of the carriage and immediately wore what Hannah gave me after wiping myself a bit. She even gave me a new pair of contact lenses which I put on my eyes with much struggle. Still shaking, I opened the door once again and hopped out of the carriage.

A camp, full of hundreds and hundreds of knights, paladins and whatever else the group of churches that rescued me could muster laid bare before my eyes. Campfires were erected to stop the cold from seeping into their bones, and yet, I could hear nobody having fun. They won, and yet the atmosphere was solemn, especially after a few of them looked at my face.

I strolled around the camp a bit, not interacting with any of them, but rather searching for a tool. Luckily, I soon found it. I wasn’t really stealing the shovel from the pile of tools somewhere in the camp and those that did see me taking it didn´t mind.

I walked out of the camp without having spoken any words and placed the tip of the shovel into the ground on a nice hill, right beside a large tree.

“This is a nice place.” I said towards Hannah who followed me since the beginning and began digging. Sadly, the sun was still hanging high and I was weak. The ground was frozen, but that didn´t stop me from scraping off a bit more earth over and over again. It was a tedious process but I refused anyone who wanted to shovel for me.

I only let Hannah prepare a campfire nearby, let her boil snow and spill it over the frozen ground to help me. Even then, it was taxing for me, but so must have been Laura´s death. I said nothing as one more accompanied me silently while I fought back the tears time and time again.

Only as my shovel dug up enough earth did I nod towards Pope Dustin who came with two man, carrying Laura´s corpse on a makeshift stretcher. They gently lifted her covered corpse down into the hole I dug out and pulled out the stretcher from underneath her. They bowed towards me and left shortly afterwards in consideration to my state of mind.

“Should I say a few words?” The Pope asked and for a short moment I wanted to agree.

“It isn´t the words that define who we are. It is our actions that do.” And my actions were disgusting me for the first time in my life. Never before was I so done with myself.

“Well spoken.” He said, not understanding at all what was going on within me. Wiping away a few tears, I picked up the shovel once again and gently filled up the hole again. The Pope left soon after I finished, while Hannah and I still stood at her grave.

Exhausted, I sat down, leaning onto the nearby tree and my left hand patting the mound of the earth right next to me. Hannah sat down on the tree as well, even though it must have been incredibly uncomfortable. But she still sat beside me and gave me a supporting shoulder.

“Can I say something?” She asked quietly. Unlike the Pope, she knew Laura as well. We both played with her after all.

“Sure.” I said.

“Some things in life are bad

They can really make you mad.

Other things just make you swear and curse.

When you´re chewing on life´s gristle

Don´t grumble, give a whistle

And this´ll help things turn out for the best

And … always look on the bright side of life.”

What I didn´t expect her to do was to sing. Maybe I shouldn’t have taught her that … or maybe that was exactly what I needed. With tears in my eyes, I whistled loudly, even though I didn´t feel like it.

“Always look on the light side of life…”

Once again, I whistled loudly, even though I didn´t know what this light side of life was even supposed to mean. There was no light in the darkness that enshrouded my heart at that moment. My life was completely in shambles, both due to my emotions and messed up situation I was in.

“If life seems holly rotten

There´s something you´ve forgotten

And that´s to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

When you´re feeling in the dumps

Don´t be silly chumps

Just purse you lips and whistle – that’s the thing.”

I let my head fall into Hannah´s lap and cried loudly, while she was still singing for me. A beautiful song, perfect for burying someone, perfect for saying goodbye one last time. Even as Hannah finished the song, she didn´t move. She let me cry everything out, all the pain and sorrow in my heat.

Everything.

bloodyWriter

Song -> Always look on the bright side of life