I have to head to school in a few minutes, but getting out of bed was a chore this morning. Hannah was relentless last night. She's taking this whole cheerleader thing seriously and wouldn't let me sleep.

I'm sure it's a formality, and Layla's pompom thing was a joke.

Probably.

While I was asleep, I was added to half a dozen group chats, and a shared calendar was sent to me. Regarding practices and stuff, I'm actually a little anxious about this morning.

How seriously are the cheerleaders taking this? Thankfully, I have an inside source.

"Hannah, what is all this?"

"You're a cheerleader now, duh. Layla made that clear."

"She can't just hand me a stick and declare me a cheerleader. Aren't there tryouts and stuff?"

Things I'm absolutely not qualified for.

She just shrugs, really helpful. "They're a formality; we pick who we want, and you're in now. Cheerleader secret, after all."

I scowl at her. "You did that on purpose!"

"Sure did." And Hannah has the gall to grin at me. "Seriously, Jay. You've been happier these past few days than I've ever seen you. The team will be good for you. You need real friends, not an echo."

"Hannah, you're my best friend; it doesn't matter that you're a little cold." Being dead isn't exactly a problem when I can see and interact with her. "If I make more friends. I'm not going to forget you."

"Promise?" And her voice is surprisingly soft. Hannah is usually really peppy, but has she been worried about me moving past her?

I'm the only person who can see her. How long has Hannah been afraid of being forgotten, of being reduced to drifting unseen, her words unheard?

Hannah died twenty years ago; that's a long time to be alone. To live as a shadow, it's no wonder she latched onto me so strongly.

Despite being alive, I've only been visible for the past few days. I don't think I could go back to the way things were.

"Promise." I smile at her. "Cheerleaders stick together, right?"

"Definitely." Hannah's eyes are a little wet, so I reach out and brush the tears from her eyes. They're as cold as the rest of her, but it's worth it for the smile she gives me.

"If you need tips for dancing, I can help you."

"I'm not going to the dance, but thanks."

I'm shocked when Hannah just doubles over laughing. "You foolish boy, you're going to the dance. Those girls will show up here and physically drag you there. Do you honestly think your mom wouldn't let them?"

Shit, mom's been over the moon that I've been spending time with Payton again. Have a bunch of cheerleaders show up to drag me to a dance? Yeah, I'm screwed.

"I thought you were on my side."

"Oh, I am, but going out with the girls will be good for you. Now, you need to get to school, but watch yourself today." Well, we both do. Hannah sometimes stays at home for a bit before she joins me, but she was up and ready this morning.

I wonder why Hannah said to watch myself, though? She'll tell me eventually.

It isn't a long walk—twenty minutes or so—but I've delayed long enough. Mom's already at work, so I'm shocked when I walk out the front door and see a blue car parked in the driveway.

The front window rolls down, and Kristy pokes her head out. "I'm your ride to school today."

Umm, okay.

"Thanks, Kristy. Sorry, I didn't know. Have you been waiting long?"

"Two minutes; I was about to text you."

This is so weird. In the past two days alone, I've spoken to more people than in the past six months.

"Sorry."

"Just get in the car, John." Yeah, Kristy doesn't seem thrilled to be here.

Okay, then. I open the passenger side and slip in, waiting just long enough for Hannah to join me before I close the door. Yes, she can pass through the door, but it feels rude not to hold it open.

Kristy doesn't say anything else, and I don't want to disturb her, so I sit quietly until we get to school. Thankfully, it's over in minutes. Once she parks, I'm shocked when Kirsty locks the doors.

"I don't know you, John, but Layla vouched for you, but I have a message for you from the rest of the squad. Fuck this up, and we'll bury you, understand?"

"Yes and no, and before you get pissed off. Yes, I understand the stakes, but why are any of you even bothering with me? I'm a loser loner. No one would even take me seriously if I were inclined to blab. Frankly, talking to me is going to attract more attention."

"Payton's been happier this past week than any time since I met her; you both have. She means a lot to Layla, which means you do, too. We don't leave people on the outside."

Yes, they do, and everyone does, but at least I understand a bit now. I'm important to Payton, so I'm acceptable now.

Fine, whatever.

Between Kristy staring at me yesterday and driving me to school today, someone is going to talk, so the real question becomes, "Is there a story for why you drove me to school if anyone asks?"

"You're tutoring me in history."

"Are you having trouble? I can actually tutor you if you need it."

Kristy actually raises her hands up to her forehead and rubs it.  "Seriously? I threatened you two seconds ago, and you just offered to help me. How am I supposed to mean girl you now?"

"Sorry."

Hannah presses her hand against her mouth, shaking with suppressed laughter. My life has been pretty dull, but Hannah has been thriving for the past few days.

The doors unlock, and Kristy makes a shooing motion. "Just go; I need to get my face on."

She's already wearing make-up; it's subtle but sure. I'm not about to argue with Kristy.

Half a dozen eyes lock onto me as I step out of the car, and Hannah starts skipping beside me. "For the record, John, that girl is 100% messaging the rest of the squad that you're adorable."

There are too many eyes on me to risk just talking casually to Hannah, so I pull out my phone.

"What do you mean?"

"The squad elected her to tell you to toe the line or get buried. You disarmed her by being yourself. Kristy, there is telling everyone what just happened. I'll teach you tonight how to dance. You're going to be busy, and I don't want you to embarrass yourself."

"I'm not going to the dance."

"We already had this talk; you were wrong. It really will be easier if you just accept that and move on. Seriously, either I tutor you or Kristy gets to. I promise you, as a former head cheerleader, that Layla is already going through her friends to see who you could date, and it's already going to be Kristy."

That's nonsense, or it should be, but maybe Hannah has a point. As far as I remember, Kristy lives closer to Payton than my house. She came from the opposite direction of school to come and get me.

"We'll talk about it later, Hannah."

 

***

People have been staring at me all day, and it's weird. I'm used to moving through the halls without a fuss, but I feel like the centre of attention, and it's uncomfortable.

It's lunch, and more importantly, it's almost time for art. I'll be able to catch Payton, and maybe she can fill in some of the gaps for me. The past 24 hours have been deeply confusing.

My phone's been blowing up, too, mainly in the cheerleader channel, but there have been a few private texts, all saying hello. I replied, but it's all so weird.

"Six o'clock", Hannah says suddenly, and there's a hand on my shoulder before I can even turn around.

"There you are."

"Hey, Kristy."

"We're supposed to meet everyone out on the quad; let's go."

Did I miss a text, or is this common knowledge that I never paid attention to? It's probably the second one, but who knows?

If I thought people were paying attention to me earlier, it's like a spotlight is on me now. Kristy isn't quite dragging me through the hall, but it's a close thing, and there are a lot of whispers following us.

The same girls from yesterday are all out on the quad, but there is no Payton in sight, and I frown. Of course, she wouldn't be here. That would give everything away, but I barely know anyone here.

"There, Layla. Perfectly intact."

"Kristy, did you drag him here?"

Yes, but I'm not sure I should actually say that.

"No, of course not. Drag would imply I exerted force. He's pretty good at following directions."

"How are you, John?"

"Confused." There's a few giggles. "Why am I here?"

"Tutoring, you need dance lessons, and Kristy already shared that you offered to help her with history. Caroline would like your help, as well."

Caroline isn’t in our shared history class, but that’s fine. "Sure, I can do that. My schedule is pretty open, so whatever works for them."

There's a group eye roll. "You're horrible at negotiating, John."

"Umm, Zoey, right?"

"That's me!"

"So what am I supposed to be negotiating? Layla said that Kristy and Caroline wanted my help, "I have free time." Way too much of it, frankly. "Kristy was nice enough to drive me to school today." Threats notwithstanding. "You all have practice and stuff according to the calendar, so I'm flexible."

"Well, dates for one. Time and place for tutoring, and actual dates."

"That seems coercive."

"Are you the only actually nice guy at this school?"

"He still doesn't understand."

"Not it." Half the girls say all at once.

"John," Layla says with a shake of her head. "Sit, eat your lunch, and we'll go from there, okay?"

"Sure." Thankfully, I grabbed my lunch before Kristy found me; I doubt she would have waited for me to get it. It's nothing fancy, just a garden salad with some chicken.

The girls seem to be eating salads, so I'm in good company. My salad gets an approving nod, and while I don't know why, I'll take it.

"So, long story short. You aren't asking us for dates, you aren't trying to get any of us alone, and you aren't asking for anything. Just offering to help and being thankful. It's weird."

"It shouldn't be."

"You like girls, right?" Zoey says, and I roll my eyes before I can say anything—Kristy chimes in.

"He has a crush on Payton, so yeah."

"Oh, right." And now the stares are back. Wonderful.

"Yes, and I'm not going to say anything to her. Seriously, I just got her back, and I've missed her and telling her would just ruin that. It's stupid." And now my eyes are watering again, great.

I don't suppose Hannah can throw a trash can around or something to distract everyone, and she shrugs at me so I won't get any help from her.

"John?"

"I'm fine, Layla."

"You and Payton have a lot of strong feelings tied up in one another; it's okay to cry, you know."

"Sure, but in front of the prettiest girls at school, while half of it is watching me? No thanks." There's a little bit of preening, but they nod after a minute.

I blink away the tears; it's the best way of dealing with them without attracting attention, or worse, one of the girls decides to help.

"So, tutoring. Caroline, I'm free this afternoon, you?"

"I was going to get my nails done, but I can reschedule."

"John?"

I already said I was free, and I haven't made plans with Payton yet. "That works for me."

"Great, that's settled. So, no more lunches by yourself, John. You're with us daily."

"Sounds nice." And it actually does.

***

I'm not sure what I am to the cheerleaders. I want to say mascot, but they have one of those already. It feels similar, though.

Layla said I was part of the team, but that had to be an expression, not a serious statement. Payton was all smiles during art but didn't invite me over again. I think she already knows about my plans.

Tutoring is new, but I'm sure Kristy and Caroline will be fine; I'm not even sure if they need my help or if they're just trying to get to know me better. It doesn't honestly matter; spending time with more people is worth the time.

"Look out!" Someone shouts, and as I turn, Dennis slams into me, and then I'm tumbling backwards towards the stairs. Hannah's flying towards me, literally, and at first, there's the familiar cold sensation, and then it feels like I'm drowning in it.

Handspring.

A voice whispers, and somehow, I know how to do one, just in time for my hands to smack into the landing instead of breaking my neck. Then I'm airborne again but controlled.

Quarter Turn.

And my body moves of its own accord, reorienting how my body is falling.

Cartwheel.

Just as my hands smack into the floor.

Roll.

I come to a stop, and my backpack crashes to the floor beside me. I'm freezing. Hannah drifts out of my body. I didn't know she could even possess me, but I'm thankful for it. She might have just saved my life.

My heartbeat is thudding in my chest, and I'm shaking.

Someone says. "No wonder the cheerleaders have been looking at him."

I shiver again.

Payton's running down the stairs towards me; I see Layla heading my way from down the hall, and just as they reach me, I collapse. The last thing I'm aware of is my chest itching before blackness takes me.

***

I groan. Hannah's the first thing I see; she's wringing her hands, and she breathes out a sigh of relief as I open my eyes.

"What happened?"

"An adrenaline crash, it caused your body temperature to fall to freezing."

"Nurse Fitzpatrick?" I haven't been to the nurse's office in years, but I know her name.

"That's me, John. How are you feeling?"

There is some minor itching that doesn't seem all that important, but "My hands hurt; otherwise, fine."

"They're going to bruise, and you might have some bruises elsewhere. You didn't hit your head, thankfully. Mr Cruise is in the office."

"Who?"

Hannah's staring into space, and I can see her shaking. She almost lost me, so it's no wonder she's upset. I can't do anything about it while the nurse is here, though.

"Dennis, he shoved you down the stairs. Your mother will be here in a few minutes, and then Principal Clark wants to see you both."

"Can I have a minute alone? I need some space."

"Of course, dear."

Once she leaves, I wrap my arms around Hannah, and she sobs into my arms.

"Thank you."

"You're not mad?"

"Hannah, you saved my life. I didn't know you could do that, but I'm thankful."

We don't have long, but I can rub her back for a few minutes. It's the least I can do.

"I didn't either; I was trying to catch you." What else can Hannah do that we don't know about? Possession clearly, and some kind of transfer of her skills. At least temporarily, we'll have to test out another time if I retain any of it.

The office door slams open, and then Mom throws herself around me. Hannah and I will have to talk later.

"John! You're freezing."

"I'm warming up, it's fine. I'm fine."

Hannah is smiling at me from nearby. Mom's timing isn't great, but Hannah and I can talk tonight. Assuming we can get any time alone, Mom's going to be hovering for the rest of today at minimum.

"We're going to see your Principal, and then we're going home."

***

Okay, Dennis was suspended for a week, and I have some bruises. I'm sore, too. Actually, I'm generally uncomfortable. It's weird, like my skin is too tight.

Mom treated me with kid gloves all night, dotting on me. The attention was nice, but it was also really frustrating. 

It was almost midnight before I got to sleep, and I woke up feeling worse this morning. I had to skip tutoring yesterday, and I feel bad about that, but maybe today if the girls are free.

When I walk out the front door, Kristy's car is parked in our driveway. I'm actually thankful for the ride. Whatever Hannah and I did yesterday has me wrecked. My body isn't used to moving that way, and I'm paying for it today.

It's still better than being dead, though. Hannah stayed in bed this morning. She said she felt tired. I didn't know ghosts could get tired.

Hopefully, it's nothing bad.

"Morning Kristy, sorry about yesterday."

She rolls her eyes at me. "Seriously, you sent like five texts about that, it's fine. We can do it tonight." She frowns at me. "Is your hair longer?"

I twirl my fingers through my hair. "I don't think so?"

"It doesn't matter, how are you?"

"Sore, my hands and wrists ache, but I'm not too bad."

"Proper stretches help with that, but we'll get you there."

Hannah and I did a couple of quick exercises, mainly to keep my muscles from locking up. She suggested a bath, but I just wanted to sleep. I regret not listening to her.

"I'm not a cheerleader."

"John, you were honorary yesterday, and then you pulled off some seriously impressive stuff. If Layla doesn't have a uniform in your locker already, consider yourself lucky."

Shoot.

I thought there were eyes on me yesterday, but that's nothing compared to today. The minute I climb out of Kristy's car, Payton slams into me, and I hug her back.

"You're okay!"

She knew that, but seeing me instead of texting is different. Not that Mom wasn't on the phone with Aunt Pattie for part of the night, either. I think they're up to something.

"Perfectly fine, Payday."

"You two are cute, John; I'll find you at lunch." And then Kristy walks away. The cheerleaders know Payton, but they seem to limit how much they talk to her in public. It makes sense, but it kind of sucks.

"We'll talk later, John. I really am glad you're okay."

There's no uniform in my locker, which is good, but somehow, that makes me even more nervous. I doubt Kristy was teasing me; if Hannah were here, I would just ask her.

It's weird being at school without Hannah; she's been a constant presence for the past year. Having her here today, when people are looking at me and talking about me, would be nice.

Whatever aches I woke up to have mostly faded this morning, but my skin is still feeling tight, and the occasional itching hasn't stopped.

When I get there, the girls are in the quad, looking at their phones, and I get a chill when they all turn and look at me at once.

"You were holding out on us, John," Layla says, tilting her phone so I can see it. Someone recorded my tumble down the stairs, and from the outside, it looked controlled. It was dumb luck that Hannah was with me.

Of course, the team is interested. I look like I've practised a lot.

"It's been years; that was instinct." I've just met these girls, but I already know that excuse isn't going to cut it. "Besides, I don't have the build you'd be looking for."

There are a few nods and then some thoughtful looks.

"I don't know about that, John," Layla says, and I glance away. "You look more toned up close than I thought, and those moves you pulled off were impressive. Rough, but impressive."

I usually cover up, but I didn't wear long sleeves today. My arms do seem a bit more defined than I remember, but I don't tend to look at myself.

"Captain's right, you have the same build - honestly, John, no offence, but I thought you were Layla more than once from behind.  You need a trim, but if we shoved you into one of our uniforms, no one would look twice."

Do we look alike? Layla and me? I'm not sure. She's a little shorter than me, but honestly, the closer I look, the more differences I see.

"That isn't exactly reassuring, Kristy."

"We're not saying you look like a girl, John." There are a few awkward looks that say otherwise, but sure.

"Anyway, tutoring. Where did you two want to review?"

"Your place," Kristy says, and I nod.

"Sure, that works."

"Cool, I'll drive you home after school, and we can study."

***

Hannah finally showed up before art, and I haven't really let go of her hand. Having her in contact with me is helping. Whatever discomfort I'm feeling today, her presence chases it away.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, Jay. Maybe possessing people takes energy or something? I'm pretty new to this stuff."

"Is there anyone you can ask?"

"There's no tech support for ghosts, Jay."

That sucks; there must be more ghosts somewhere that Hannah could talk to, it's morbid, but I'm tempted to suggest either a cemetery or a hospital. If ghosts are anywhere, those two locations make sense.

"Sorry, Hannah."

"You're okay, I'm okay, and that's really what matters."

She's right.

"Hey, do you think Layla and I look alike?"

Hannah just wiggles her hand. "Not really, like you're both white with brown hair and blue eyes. Not twins or anything."

When did Layla and Payton meet, though?

I'm probably overthinking it, and besides, it isn't my business.

"Thanks, Hannah. My head has been spinning. I have Payton back now, and that's incredible, but also people are noticing me now, being friendly, and it's all because of you."

The comforting, cold embrace of Hannah's arms wraps around me, and I smile. "No, that is completely you, Jay. You're just letting yourself be seen now."

Part of me wonders what will happen to her; I'll be going to university soon. Hannah could join me, but I've never really asked her what she wants.

"I'm still glad I found you, Hannah. I know we have the occasional sleepover, but is there anything you need for the house?"

"I wouldn't mind a new comforter. Something pink." Hannah says with a grin.

"Sure, why don't we go to the mall this weekend? We can pick up a few things. Make our room more like home for you."

It's ours, not just mine.

"You're a really good person, Jay."

No, a good person would have made this offer months ago; it only just occurred to me to ask and speaking of things I should have already asked.

"For my art, do you mind if I use you as the main character?"

I'm not surprised when Hannah laughs. "Oh, that is honestly flattering; Deliah isn't quite me, but close enough. That's probably for the best. People still remember me, you know?"

They do, but not as many people as there should be. Hannah's amazing.

"You're unforgettable."

Hannah lights up, smiling so brightly. "You have to get tutoring, but thanks, Jay. I'll catch you at home tonight." And then she wanders off—if I had to guess—to see what Layla is up to.

There might not be a cheerleader practice today, but Hannah is always checking in to keep track of the squad. That's probably how she found out about Payton and Layla.

I don't understand why. If Hannah knew about them, why was she encouraging me to ask Payton out?

That's something for later, maybe this weekend.

Kristy's car is where she parked it this morning, so it's easy to find. She and Caroline are talking and only look up when I get close.

"Last chance to back out, John," Kristy says.

"Please don't, I actually need the help."

"I'm happy to help, honest Caroline. I wouldn't have offered otherwise. The cheerleader thing, though, is that negotiable?"

"Nope." They both say, popping the P.

Shoot.

It was worth a shot.

Mom and Dad are at work for another two hours, and, with any luck, they won't leave early today. That's plenty of time to tutor without being interrupted or, worse, embarrassed.

I love Mom and Dad, but they'll be relentless about me having two cheerleaders over—worse, if either Kristy or Caroline mentions the dance. I'm doomed. I probably am, anyway. It would be easier to give in and let Hannah teach me tonight, but I'm digging my heels in.

The dance seems scary. Just thinking about it has me on edge, but I have to admit that there's something thrilling about it, too, which is all the more reason not to go. Too many things are changing right now, and I need time to catch my breath.

"So, why does Payton call you Jay anyway if your name is John?"

"People used to call us PJ since we were inseparable." I can smile at these memories now; they don't ache quite like they used to. "Especially since I usually called her Pay, so it changed to Pay and Jay after a while."

"Do you have a preference? I've been calling you John." Kristy says, and I smile.

"Not really. Payton was the only one who called me Jay, but I don't mind other people using it." Especially now. "I don't have a lot of friends." Just Hannah, and now my world is expanding. "So you can use either." We're almost to the house, and while I don't think we'll still be tutoring when my parents get home, it's better to be safe than sorry. "Can you park on the left, Kristy? I don't want to be blocking the garage if my parents get back early."

Kristy nods as she pulls into the driveway. "Fair enough, John."

I'm honestly hoping to wrap things up well before the girls can meet my parents, but Mom was still on edge this morning; I wouldn't be totally shocked if she left work early to check on me.

We could use my bedroom for tutoring, but there's no way I'm bringing two virtual strangers up there. It's not dirty, but it isn't exactly tidy, either.

I have most of my sketches and other art supplies in the basement, which isn't a bad choice either. Dad hauled a sofa down there, and it would be cosier.

Maybe I'm just overthinking it. We can use the dining room table. I'm thinking of Kristy and Caroline like I do Hannah and Payton. I shouldn't be so familiar, but that's my framework. I really don't know what else to do.

Hannah isn't here, but I can almost picture what she would say: "Ask them, dummy." And that makes me smile. Hannah always reduces things to their most basic, to the point that I don't think they will work, and they always do.

So, I guess I can do things Hannah's way, especially since she isn't here right now to tease me over it.

"So we can study at the table, or there's a sofa downstairs. Any preference?"

Caroline glances over at the table and says. "Sofa, for sure. My ass is sore enough from yesterday's practice. I don't need to make it worse."

That makes me blink. There wasn't a practice yesterday, that’s why we arranged to tutor then. Kristy catches my eye and shakes her head. Okay, fair enough. She'll either explain later or not at all. It isn't like Caroline's life is my business.

"Yeah, that works. Jay, do you have drinks we could have?"

I mean, there are drinks in the house, but it depends on what Kristy's specifically asking for. "There's fruit juice and diet soda. Otherwise, there's water. Unless you want caffeine, in which case, coffee, tea, or even hot chocolate." Not that the last thing is caffeinated, but it's a warm drink.

"Oooh, hot chocolate honestly sounds great."

"What diet soda?"

"Coke and Sprite. Is whole milk okay, Caroline, or do you want almond milk?"

 "Sprite then."

"Whole's fine today; it's a cheat day."

"Okay, great. Let me get the kettle started, and then we can go downstairs."

Clicking the kettle on only takes a second, and then I'm leading the girls down the stairs. The basement isn't anything special, but now that I'm bringing Caroline and Kristy down here, I'm already picturing some changes.

Maybe some string lights? Brighter colours, too. The walls are basic beige, a soft pink might be really lovely.

"John?" Kristy says suddenly, and I blink.

"Sorry, I was a million miles away. What's up?"

Kristy gestures to a large portrait of Deliah and says. "Did you do that?"

"Ah, yeah. Anything down here is mine."

I've never been so thankful that I wasn't drinking something, as Caroline says. "She looks like Hannah Meadows." I think I would have choked.

"Sorry, who?" I'll make it up to Hannah later.

This portrait is of Deliah, based on Hannah, but thankfully, it is not one of my actual sketches of Hannah.

"She was a cheerleader at our school twenty or so years ago?" Twenty-five, but I manage to bite my tongue. There's no reason for me to know that. "I thought it was her at first. The lettering on her uniform is DH."

DH, for Deep Harbour High.

"Payton and I have lived here all our lives. We knew where we would be going to high school. In this case, it's Dire Ravens - she has an academy that uses the lettering, too. Delta Regulus, I think." It's been a while since we discussed it, and she might have changed it.

"Nah, Lyn, Hannah had different hair and eyes. If this is to perspective." I nod. "Then this character is a few inches taller."

"Let me go get our drinks, and then we can go to study. Feel free to look around." There's nothing incriminating down here, and honestly, I need a minute away.

"Sure, Jay.  Thanks."

I'm halfway up the stairs before I hear pages rustling. I'd consider it nosy if I hadn't just given them permission. It's honestly why I avoided suggesting my bedroom. They've never been here before, so of course, they're curious. We're basically strangers, so I'd rather give them permission than have them look anyway. The kettle's still hot, so that's one less thing to worry about. I reach into the drawer to the left of the stove for a spoon and frown. I must be more tired than I thought. The spoons are by the fridge—they always have been.

Let's see, Sprite for Kristy. I'll grab a glass and a straw, just in case. She might not want to mess up her lipstick. Tiffany always complains about it, that girl. I roll my eyes as I make the hot chocolate.

Hmm. Carolyn didn't mention marshmallows, but it's not hot chocolate without them. I'll just put some in a bowl for her. Worse case, if she doesn't want them, I'll have them as a snack.

We have peppermint somewhere, right?  It only takes a minute to dig through the cupboard and find it. Perfect, just like at McAllister's. There's nothing really good for sore muscles in the fridge; I should have thought about that earlier and picked something up on the way home.

Mum has electrolyte drinks in the fridge; one of those will work until I can buy something else. After I pile everything onto a tray, I head back down the stairs.

As expected, the girls are looking through my art. Good. It's actually nice to share it with someone.

"Sorry that took so long."

Kristy glances at the drinks and then grins wide enough that I step back. "I didn't know you played favourites, John."

"What do you mean?" For some reason, I feel like fleeing back up the stairs. 

"Marshmallows, yay. I didn't want to be a pain, but thanks; I love marshmallows." I'm glad someone's happy.

"I'm teasing, don't worry about it. Thanks for the straw."

"You're welcome. So, studying. We have that midterm coming up, and we have our papers due next week. What exactly do you want help with?"

"Both, actually." Caroline takes a sip of her drink and lights up. "Umm, wow, John. This hot chocolate is great. I usually have to spend like $8 for something like this."

"Let me have a sip." I half expect Caroline to say no, but she passes over her hot chocolate to Kristy without complaint, and she smiles. "I regret my decision; this is actually great."

"I can make you one; the kettle should still be hot."

"No thanks. We need to get studying and not have you play barista. Next time, though? For sure."

That's a good point, we’ll have more sessions. There’s no reason to rush. "What subjects are your papers on?"

***

I managed to get Kristy and Caroline out of the house before Mom and Dad got home and, more importantly, helped with their papers. We'll probably need another two tutoring sessions just to finish their papers. Still, they're both smart and more importantly, they're doing the work themselves.

Part of me expected them to want me to do their work. I'm glad my suspicions were wrong.

Mom insisted on having dinner together tonight. She keeps looking at me a lot, and I'm not entirely sure it's from worry. She seems puzzled, not concerned.

Hannah's not here yet, and it's late. Should I look for her? Yes, Hannah's dead, and she can look after herself, but she's still my friend.

Everyone's in bed, so I can sneak downstairs and out if I need to. I'll give Hannah a bit longer, and if she isn't back, I'll look for her. I know all of her usual haunts.

I'm frowning ten minutes later when there's still no sign of her. Okay, that settles it. I'm going out to find her. Technically, I don't have a curfew, and I don't tend to go out, so Mom and Dad never gave me one.

It doesn't matter. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. I wrote her a note just to be safe; if Hannah comes back, she'll know where I am.

Okay, put shoes on, and out I go.

Being out at night feels weird. It's been ages since I went out of the house this late, which is probably why I'm feeling so on edge.

Hannah isn't at school, or if she is, she isn't on the football field or the stands. I can't go inside. The last thing I need is to get caught breaking into the school.

There's a park on Pinecrest that Hannah used to go to as a kid—the same one I used to go to with Payton. I hope she's there because I really don't want to use the nuclear option by going to her parents' old house.

I don't have any way of explaining why I'm there.

Thankfully, Hannah's sitting on a swing when I get to the park, and she glances up when she hears my footsteps. The park hasn't changed—there are a few swings and a slide—it's nothing fancy, but I was here a lot as a kid, and it was paradise.

"John?"

"Hey, I was worried."

"You shouldn't be out this late."

No, I shouldn't. It's actually cold tonight. I thought this light jacket would be enough, but I'm freezing. I can't see my breath, but it feels like I should be able to,

"I know, but you didn't come home. I went to school, but you weren't there, so here I am."

Hannah's still sitting on the swing, so as I reach her, I start gently pushing her using the chains. It's been years since I did this with Payton, and Hannah's smile reminds me of hers.

We don't need to talk; something is bothering Hannah, but she'll tell me when she's ready. I'm perfectly happy to just enjoy the park with her. I'm getting colder, but at least the physical activity is helping a little.

"Thanks for coming to find me, John. It means a lot."

"Hannah, you're my best friend, I love you. Of course, I came to find you. I was worried about you."

"I love you, too, you dummy." Hannah hops off the swing and looks at me. "John! You're freezing. Seriously, let's get you back to your house."

I'm not that cold, just shivering a little.

"No, let's go to our home. I'm serious, Hannah; this weekend, we're going to the mall, and we're going to make sure our room is decorated for you. I've been selfish, not thinking of it sooner."

I'm ashamed it never occurred to me before this week.

I feel a different chill when Hannah takes my hand and smiles at me. "It isn't selfish of you. You came out in the middle of the night to find me, John." Hannah laughs. “You're special—and not just because you can see me."

It only takes a few minutes to get home from the park, and I take one of my spare blankets, wrap it around Hannah and then fall asleep against her.  After this weekend, it will be her blanket, not a spare. I'll make sure of it.

Assuming I survive the dance. Oh shit! What am I going to wear?