IMPORTANT REMINDER:

If the whole concept of omegaverse and mpreg are new to you, please don't skip the Introduction.

 

⚠️ TRIGGER / CONTENT WARNING

This story contains explicit sex scenes that may be inappropriate for some readers; dealing with depression, suicidal ideations, and drug/substance abuse.

 

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It's been five weeks since Saliou had last seen Wren. And throughout those weeks, living under one roof with his emotionally estranged brother, was starting to become insufferable. Sooner or later, one of them has to leave.

Saliou figured it was only a matter of time before someone breaks the news to him. After all he is no fool – and so are Wren and Milou.

Omegas are most fertile on their first day of heat. It's a given fact. Recessive Omegas, with their irregular estrus cycles and intrinsic hormonal imbalance, are often unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. But when paired with a dominant Alpha, whose ability to consummate a Catch is close to a hundred percent, the chances of pregnancy dramatically increase.

So, you see, it was only a matter of time, Saliou told himself over and over again.

Milou had locked himself up in the apartment for two weeks now, spending most of his time in his bedroom. Later, Saliou found out he had resigned from his job. While he never bothered to ask Milou about it, he had kept a close eye on him since.

But one day, Saliou came home from work to find Milou gone. He tried calling him several times, only to keep getting his voicemail. At 6 PM and still no sign of his brother, Saliou began to feel anxious and impatient.

He was starting to consider calling Wren but just as the thought registered, he heard a car pull up into the driveway. It was Milou.

Saliou raced to the door and threw it open, ready to give the other a piece of his mind. But he was surprised when Milou stepped out of the passenger side of the car.

Milou glanced up, saw him, and walked towards him with an expression that's somewhere between resigned and apologetic.

The younger twin frowned. "Where have you been? Why weren't you answering my calls and texts?" he inquired angrily.

Milou stuffed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and lowered his head, avoiding the other's piercing gaze. In a voice devoid of emotion, he said simply, "I'm pregnant."

For a moment, the younger twin stared at him without a word. And then, he gave a soft sigh. He was shocked but somehow not surprised.

"Well, it's not like we didn't see it coming," Saliou muttered sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders.

Milou tilted his head to look at the other. "We went to see the elders." Then he paused dramatically before adding, "They want Wren and I to get married."

There's no doubt about it now. Milou enjoys dropping emotional bombshells on his brother. He remained silent for a while, his gaze fixed on Saliou as if waiting for him to break down and cry.

Of course, Saliou was terribly shocked. Not only is his brother pregnant, he's about to take away his greatest love, as well!

But Milou picked the wrong day to rile him up. After all the heartbreak he'd gone through, only a fool would step up to that plate again. He refused to give his brother the upper hand.

"So... am I the last one to find out about this?" Saliou managed a tight-lipped smile.

"Come on. If anything, you were the first to know," Milou replied coolly. He placed a hand on his belly as he walked past Saliou and went into the living room. "After all, weren't you there the day I conceived?"

It took a whole lot of effort for Saliou to look calm as he clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. He didn't want to give himself away, so he tried to rein in his wayward emotions. After all, he is not the kind of person who cries or lashes out in front of others – and certainly not in front of Milou. He's had enough emotional discharge five weeks ago.

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped Saliou from his muddled thoughts. He stood there, by the front door, staring. And then, he felt a sharp pang in his chest.

There, just a few feet away, staring back with his intense blue-gray eyes, was Wren.

He looked like he'd lost weight since the last time Saliou had seen him. His eyes were almost sunken and his cheekbones looked sharper. In Saliou's eyes, he looked like a defeated man.

"Hello, Sal," he said with a weak voice as he slowly approached the other. He wore an expression that was somewhere between sadness and shame.

Saliou crossed his arms over his chest defensively and lowered his head, avoiding the other's eyes. "Do you... want to come in?" He held the door open and moved to the side to let Wren in. "I'll head out so you can have some time alone with Milou –" He froze when Wren wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close in a tight and fierce hug.

"You... You haven't been answering my calls," Wren said with obvious hurt and disappointment in his voice.

That's because I blocked you, Saliou said to himself. He tried to wrench himself away from the other's embrace.

"We need to talk, Sal." Wren rested his head on the other's shoulder, refusing to let go. "You can't keep avoiding me like this..."

Saliou could feel tears stinging at the back of his nose. He pinched his fingers over the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for what he thought was just a few seconds. "Listen, Wren." He opened his eyes and looked at the other, careful to keep his emotions under control. "Let's not complicate our lives any further." He pressed his hands to Wren's chest to pry himself from his embrace. "I think... it would be in our best interest to... just end it here."

"I don't want to," Wren responded immediately, not even blinking.

This stunned Saliou. That was the last thing he expected to hear from the other. His lips curled back with contempt. "I'm not giving you an option here. It's all over. We have to end this. I don't need these complications in my life, Wren. I can't make time for any of this. For you."

Wren's eyes flooded with tears at the keen and bitter heartache. "I didn't mean this to happen..."

"None of us did," retorted Saliou. "But it did happen, and we need to deal with it." He paused as he pressed a hand to his temple. "Honestly, Wren, there's so much I want to do for myself. By myself."

Wren was quiet for a while, sobbing, looking utterly helpless and hopeless.

After what seemed like forever, he finally spoke to fill the silence. "I was against it, Sal. You know you're the only one I want to marry."

Saliou raised a finger. "Give me a moment. I have to go get something of yours."

Before Wren could say anything, Saliou made his way back into the apartment while the other waited at the entryway. A couple of minutes later, he returned with a tiny velvet box in one hand. 

"Here, I believe this is yours," said Saliou as he held out the box to Wren. "I found it under Milou's bed. You must've dropped it the day you..." He let his voice trail off for a moment, then continued, "The last time you came over."

It was the ring box containing the engagement ring. Wren had dropped it in his haste to leave the scene and thought he had lost it for good.

Wren looked at the box in Saliou's hand, a pained expression on his face. Somehow, it found its way to its rightful owner. But now, he wasn't sure if the rightful owner would still be willing to accept it.

"It was meant to be the best day of our lives, Sal," he said regretfully. "We were meant to have a future together..."

Breath backed up in Saliou's lungs as he tried to speak, but no words came out. Everything inside him yearned for this man standing before him. Yet deep sorrow shot through him, knowing the impossibility of their circumstance.

Finding his voice once more, Saliou said, "Things happened, Wren, and there's nothing we can do about it.  We can't change the past... there's no use dwelling on it."

Wren placed his hand on Saliou's, closed his fingers around the box on his palm, and squeezed it tightly.  "Please don't give up on us, Sal..." He begged.  "We can still fix this. I know we can."

His words tugged at Saliou's heart. He dropped his gaze and bit his lip. "Wren... You know it ended the moment you bonded with Milou... And there's just no way for us to get back together now that you're both expecting a child..."

Wren closed his eyes. "How can you throw away our relationship so easily, Sal?" A tear escaped.

Saliou dabbed his own tears as he looked at the other. "Do you seriously think this is easy for me?" His voice choked before he continued, "You... and Milou... don't have the slightest idea what I'm feeling right now. You – You've put me through hell these past few weeks...!" At this point, he was unable to control the sobs that ravaged his body. "It – It hurts so much... It hurts so much I want to tear my heart out...!"

Despair filled Wren. He threw his arms around Saliou's neck as they both cried. "I may have bonded with Milou, but it took all my resolve not to mark him. I still love you, Sal. I always will."

Saliou pushed him away gently. "That's beside the point," he said, sniffling. "It doesn't change anything, Wren. You two are getting married. And you're about to have a child, for god's sake. There's just... no place for me to fit into your life anymore..." Although he could barely see through his tears, he held out Wren's hand and placed the ring box on his palm. "You're giving this to the wrong person. I... no longer see any reason for me to keep this."

Wren clasped Saliou's hand once more, pressing them to his face as if his life depended on it. "I'm not ready to let you go, Sal... This isn't what I wanted. I don't want to let you go...!"

Saliou searched Wren's face as his hand fell on the other's cheek, caressing it lightly. "Please... if not for Milou, do it for the sake of your child..." he sobbed. "This child is a blessing, Wren. They have to grow up in a loving family, with loving parents..." He cupped Wren's cheeks and smiled weakly. "I'm sure you'll be a great father, Wren..." And then he let out a soft chuckle. "I predict the baby's going to be spoiled rotten."

For a moment, they shared a hearty laugh. And then, tears once again built in their eyes.

There was a fleeting moment of silence as they held each other's gaze. Wren searched the other's face, soaking up every detail, seeking a deeper grasp. Yet what he saw was his own pain mirrored in the other's dark brown eyes.

Before he could touch the other, Saliou drew away.

Saliou lowered his head and sighed. "I'll be moving out next week," he announced somberly. They stood just feet apart, arms still extended toward each other, fingers barely touching. "I'm not sure if Milou realized it but, he started nesting about a week ago. Pretty soon he'll want you around more frequently, so... you need to be with him then. I'll just get in your way, so..." His lips quivered, and then he seemed about to cry again, but restrained his tears. Instead he smiled at the other, even when his heart was breaking too much.

"This is the end of the line for us, Wren... Goodbye."

Gulping down a sob to keep his composure, Saliou turned to the door and walked away. Just being close to Wren was tearing at his heart. Any longer and it would shatter his defenses.

I will move on from this, Saliou silently prayed, and I hope he will too.

As for Wren, he knew things were over despite how much he asked for forgiveness. And as he watched Saliou walk away, he felt his own happiness leave with him. His thoughts fell into an endless loop, repeating the same question over and over, "Why did this have to happen to us?"

Saliou was right. It was over for them, and he killed their love...

 

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Milou was nearing his second trimester when he and Wren got married. He was four months pregnant and just barely started to show a little baby bump underneath a perfectly fitted white tuxedo.

Saliou wasn't sure if it's the pregnancy hormones doing their magic, but his brother looked ever so stately, handsome, striking and beautiful, all at once, on his wedding day.

Meanwhile, Wren complemented his groom's outfit with a dark tuxedo that was obviously tailored specifically for him. It fit him like a second skin, and he looked stunning in it. The smile he had on that day was a practiced thing – that much Saliou knew. But it was still charming as hell.

The couple agreed to have a small, private wedding. Nothing too extravagant. They sent out invitations to no more than twenty people. Besides the immediate family, they invited a few other close relatives on both sides.

It was Milou who finalized the venue for the wedding and reception. He decided to have it right at the lake - a scenic spot that was literally right in the Dumont family's backyard.

The weather forecast the day of the wedding was for partly cloudy skies. In other words, perfect for an outdoor wedding.

For the most part, the nuptial went off without a hitch; everyone and everything in the appropriate order. The reception was held on a beautifully decorated deck facing the lake, in all its floral splendor. It was half past 7 in the evening and the ambience was charged with the fragrance of intimacy, guests moving to and fro with a single purpose – to make the day special for the newly married couple.

The evening banquet buzzed with excited chatter. Few minutes later, the grooms entered, and applause spread across the venue. There were scraping of chairs and tables as the guests got up to acknowledge their arrival. Wren and Milou made their way to the centerpiece table, beaming at everyone as they passed.

After the appropriate number of speeches, toasts, glass clinking, and thank-you's, the music commenced, and Wren and Milou went around to mingle with the guests.

But while most of the guests were standing around on the foredeck congratulating the newly wedded couple, Saliou had stayed in the background. He offered polite smiles and handshakes when asked, but for the most part, he stayed as far away from the crowd as possible.

It took a lot of convincing from his parents to show up at the wedding. He didn't want such a special day to get sidetracked by drama, and his presence alone could cause quite a stir. After all, it was no secret that, just a few months ago, he was dating Wren Dumont. Milou's pregnancy wasn't so clandestine, either.

He had originally planned to leave after the nuptial. But he figured that was the coward's way out. Why should he worry about what other people think? It was his own brother's wedding! Besides, things would have seemed more awkward without him.

Or so he thought.

Now, as he leaned up against the bar with a glass of banana daiquiri, he realized it might have been a better idea to have not shown up at all. On top of having to endure the strange glances and curious looks of other guests, he had to go through this endearing sight before him and pretend he wasn't affected.

If this is karma in the works, Saliou had to wonder what grave sin he'd committed in his previous life. He didn't deserve this kind of punishment. Watching his one true love married to someone else – and to his own brother at that – was too much of an emotional abuse.

He could only endure so much heartache.

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Saliou had already changed into a more casual attire and a comfortable pair of boots. He'd had enough of the suit and all the formal photo op, and was glad to finally be able to unwind.

But if he really wanted to let loose, he needed more than just a daiquiri. He needed something much stronger.

Saliou gulped down the cocktail and ordered himself a bottle of whiskey. The bartender poured him out a shot, but Saliou downed it quickly.

"Do you want another drink?" The bartender asked.

Saliou looked up at him. His eyes told the other it wasn't a good idea to give him a difficult time.

The bartender chuckled. "The night's still young."

"And so am I," replied Saliou as he reached across the bar and snatched the nearly full bottle of whiskey out of the bartender's hand.

Saliou was taking straight shots of whiskey without even bothering to sip at it. His emotions were going haywire, an inexplicable sense of misery surging through his veins.

He didn't know how he felt about the whole situation anymore. The past few months, he thought of Wren breaking off the engagement and running away with him instead. But it was nothing more than just a thought now. This wedding had destroyed the last vestige of hope he had left. He could never be with Wren. Not in this lifetime.

He wanted to hurt someone. Someone must pay for his pain.

He turned his eyes back to Milou. He looked like he was in his element, chatting and laughing with others with such charm and ease.

Saliou hated Milou. He hated his own brother. He hated him with such passion. He hated him for what he had done and for what he was doing to him now.

But the thing that made it hurt the worst is that, deep down, Saliou's love for his brother still fought back against that hatred.

He hated his brother because he loved him – would always love him.

Saliou forced his eyes to look away from Milou. He looked at the bottle in his too-tight grip instead. He decided that he had been ignoring the whiskey in his hand long enough. He tipped the bottle back and took two huge gulps. He hoped the whiskey would relieve the pain he felt in his heart. It burned his throat on its way down, but he welcomed the sensation.

He began to feel more relaxed now but hoped he wouldn't feel anything more than this. He didn't want to do anything crazy like go up to the newlywed couple and say something he would deeply regret later on.

As Saliou contemplated on this, he realized his eyes had inadvertently wandered back to the deck, this time staring at Wren. Their eyes met and Saliou froze. It was too late to look away now, so Saliou nodded to the other in greeting and managed a half smile.

Wren's lips barely formed a smile in response. There was a look of concern in his eyes. For a moment, his gaze moved to the whiskey bottle in Saliou's hand, and then back to his face. He shook his head warningly.

Who are you to stop me from doing what I want?

Saliou scoffed as he tore his eyes off Wren, then took another big gulp of the whiskey in deliberate defiance.

The next thing he knew, Wren was coming down from the deck, approaching him slowly, almost warily, probably as self-conscious as he was. Saliou frowned and shook his head, holding up a hand as if to tell the other to keep his distance.

Saliou reached for the empty shot glass but before he could get it, a strong, masculine hand snatched it away. He turned a withering look on the culprit and found himself coming face-to-face with two of his least favorite people in the world.

Mason Dumont poured himself a shot of whiskey and downed the entire glass in one gulp. "Saliou Matisse, I didn't take you for a hard drinker!" He offered the glass back to Saliou, who only glared at him.

Asshole. Saliou set the glass down angrily on the table, then turned his gaze back to Wren who just stood in place, stupidly staring back at him. For what seemed like a very long time, they stood staring at each other, neither knowing what to expect.

But the earnestness in Wren's gaze didn't work on Saliou this time. He was starting to become immune to it. Wren must have sensed that because he was the first to relent. Saliou didn't break their stare, but took a swift little breath as he watched Wren turn around and made his way back to the foredeck.

Saliou shifted his attention back to the elder Dumont brothers, who stood either side of him, facing away from the bar. The look in their eyes and the color of their nose, now red as a beet, suggested that they were already fairly inebriated. Yet they're not the only ones with flushed faces. Saliou himself was already feeling lightheaded and his stomach was burning.

He figured Mason and Noah Dumont would make better companies compared to anyone else in that party. And even if they're the biggest jerks in town, they could help take Saliou's mind off Milou and Wren.

"This might just be the first time we've seen you alone like this," Noah remarked as he reached for the whiskey bottle in Saliou's hand, poured himself a shot, and drank it straight.

Saliou forced a laugh. "Well, you better get used to it now that those two got hitched," he replied as he pointed to Wren and Milou without looking in their direction. He'd drunk a fair amount of liquor now, and the whiskey seemed to make him talkative.

Mason leaned back with his elbows on the bar then looked at Saliou with a puzzled, concerned expression. "Don't be too hard on yourself, Saliou," he said in a low voice. "Noah and I feel just as bad about this. In fact, we were against this."

Saliou's brows furrowed in a scowl. "What do you mean?"

Mason curled his lips and shrugged his shoulders. "You know... this whole idea of a shotgun wedding. I mean, who would've thought, right?"

Taking a deep breath, Saliou tried his best not to curse. Barely a couple minutes in and they're already beginning to get on his nerves.

Noah leaned closer to Saliou, his elbows on the edge of the bar. "That day, when the elders called a meeting to discuss the matter about the pregnancy, those two showed up looking like wet puppies." He grunted through his nose, trying to hold back laughter.

"When the elders decided they had to get married, I was the first to tell them to reconsider," Mason contended. "On top of it being a heat-induced pregnancy, Milou is..." He hesitated a moment, then continued, "Milou's recessive. We know how frail a recessive's body is. And... just look at him now. His health has been very delicate since."

Saliou's fingers curled tight around his glass. He filled himself another shot of the hard liquor and downed it, letting it blaze sharply down his throat. He set the glass down hard and reached for the bottle to refill it.

"Let's face it," Mason added, completely unaware of Saliou's dark and brooding expression, "most recessives suffer a miscarriage. What if, god forbid, that happens to Milou? Then this whole marriage would be pointless."

"We suggested that they should put the wedding on hold at least until Milou enters his final trimester, when there won't be any more serious complications. Or better yet, hold it off until he gives birth," explained Noah.

Saliou propped his elbows on the bar and pressed his fingers against his forehead. He listened wordlessly to the brothers' whole charade, although he was now close to a boiling point.

He flinched when Mason slid closer to him and sympathetically put a hand on his upper arm, gently squeezing it.

"Listen, Saliou, we know Wren still loves you. If not – If not for this pregnancy... I'm sure that would be you standing over there beside Wren, and not your brother."

Saliou gritted his teeth and lowered his head.

Insensitive pricks!

Finally sensing the growing animosity about to be directed at him, Mason backed up and loosened his grip on Saliou's arm. "L-Listen, I didn't mean to sound harsh towards your brother but – " He was abruptly silenced when Saliou downed the whiskey and slammed the glass to the counter.

The whiskey bottle was half empty now. Saliou held it firmly as he poured himself another drink. At this point, he could no longer tell how many shots he's had, but each drink seemed like a better and better idea. It made him a whole lot bolder. Angrier.

Clearly, he's getting past the point of merely tipsy.

"Three things," Saliou said in a slurred voice as he raised three wobbly fingers. "Firstly, Milou is my brother. I know... I know this shit sucks. It sucks big time. But Milou... he's still my brother." He glared at Mason. "You hear me now? So I don't want you badmouthing him right in front of me. Show me some respect, for fuck's sake." He swallowed the whiskey in one gulp, poured another big shot, then raised two fingers. "Secondly, Milou... is your brother-in-law. Whether you like it or not, he's part of your family now. I don't want you treating him like some piece of shit. And... if I hear so much as a slander, I... will fucking scalp you." He struggled to keep his voice on an even pitch. He coughed as he tried to gulp down another shot.

Mason swallowed hard as he watched Saliou pour himself another glass of whiskey, spilling some on the counter in the process. "Sa – Saliou, I think you've had enough for –"

"Thirdly!" Saliou cut him off as he raised three fingers with even less coordination. "I don't... want to have anything to do... with your family. Whatever was... between me and Wren... is all in the past now. The past, you hear me? So stop... stop patronizing me. The last thing – " He paused as he tried to swallow through the choking rings clamping his throat from the inside out. "The last thing I want... from you people... is your pity. Because... fuck your pity." He downed his last shot for the night, finally declaring himself disgustingly drunk and liable to throw up.

As a final gesture, he poured another glass of whiskey and slid it over to Mason. "Cheers to the newlyweds!" he said, words barely understandable and running together. And then, he slowly dragged himself away from the bar, taking the whole bottle of whiskey with him.

Mason and Noah watched in stunned silence as Saliou swayed unsteadily, head lolling from side to side as if the effort to keep himself upright was too much to bear.

That was the first and last time they'd seen Saliou drunk. And in the process, learned what happens if they were to blow his fuse.

Clearly, a drunk and enraged Saliou Matisse is not to be messed with. 

 

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Fifteen minutes later, Saliou found himself in the entryway from the Dumont family's vast garden courtyard, which overlooked the lake. Step by cautious step, he went up the broad marble staircase leading to the main house.

The stairs he usually took two at a time, was now a steep mountain to be taken on all fours. Saliou held on to the railing as tightly as he could, and with each push his legs would wobble like a heavily sedated patient. His stomach began to heave in a sickly way, his head spinning around as if he were riding on a carousel, slow at first and then gaining momentum.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he reached the balcony where he had a perfectly clear view of the lake and the wedding banquet. As soon as he managed to steady himself, a strong gust of wind nearly knocked him back. The Dumont household was high up on a hill, so the wind was stronger and colder. Standing out there, Saliou pulled his jacket closer around him, doing so little to make him feel better.

The view of the party stretching out below put him in a perspective, ironically making him feel a little less lonely. He wanted to get as far away from this place, from these people, as he could.

Yet he couldn't bring himself to just leave without getting to see Wren one last time, talk to him, bid a proper farewell.

It worried him terribly that he was still fixated on Wren. He wondered if he had to go through life reliving this massive disappointment and heartache over and over again. A man who was now out of his reach - his very own brother-in-law.

Saliou let out a sharp laugh as he took a tight grip on the whiskey bottle.

No fucking way. His life wasn't going to be some tragic story of abandonment. Next time, Saliou wouldn't even look at a man unless he's head-over-heels in love with him. And then, he would put up a good fight and never let him go.

Good plan.

But where could Mr. Right be?

Saliou turned when he heard footsteps behind him. To his surprise, he saw Wren slowly climbing up the stairs, looking at him with solemn eyes.

The sense of déjà vu was overwhelming. Here was Saliou seeking some solitude, taking in the calming view and Wren was coming toward him.

It was the same view, but certainly a different circumstance. But there was Wren joining him, coming to stand next to him, just like all those times they marveled at this view before them, planning their own wedding by the lake.

Oh, how the tides have turned...

Saliou stood still and looked straight, acted like Wren wasn't even there.

"What are you doing here all alone, Sal?" Wren asked. His deep, reverberating voice made it hard for Saliou to breathe.

"I... should be the one asking you that," Saliou replied levelly. "W-What is the newly-wed groom doing here all alone... leaving his p-pregnant husband to attend to the guests?"

Saliou raised the bottle of whiskey to his lips, but Wren reached over and snatched the bottle from his hand, spilling some of the liquor on the other's shirt.

Saliou glared at him with heavy, unfocused eyes. "W-What do you think you're doing? Give – Give it back!"

Wren didn't know what to do. He had no experience with drunk people before. And he certainly did not expect someone as calm and composed as Saliou to get himself intoxicated until he could barely stand on his own two feet.

"Why are you here, anyway? W-Why do you care what happens to me? Give... Give that back to me. Give that back to me and leave me alone!" Arms flailing about, Saliou tried to snatch the bottle back from Wren.

It was then when an intense wave of nausea welled up from his gut. He covered his mouth and quickly leaned his head over the edge of the balcony. Then, like a balloon that just got inflated in his stomach, everything he had eaten and drunk for the past couple of hours raced to be expelled.

The physical rejection caught Saliou by surprise that he could hardly breathe and vomit at the same time. He coughed, gagged, and spewed everything into the void.

Between convulsions, Wren could hear him whimpering and cursing under his breath.

"I hate this! I fucking hate this!"

Wren could hear and feel the anguish and despair in the other's voice. He gently massaged Saliou's neck and back, and kept his hair from getting in the messy stream.

Five minutes later, Saliou finished with a deep belch wheezing from his gut. He had vomited everything up until there was nothing left to vomit. He leaned against the railing, wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and let his head sink on his arms.

When Saliou drank alcohol, Wren knew exactly how much he would drink before he would get to that point – that throwing-up point. Saliou knew exactly when to stop and when to control it. Not this time.

"... Feeling better now?" Wren asked, hesitant.

"I hate you...!" Saliou spoke shakily, his voice muffled from his arms. "You... really broke my heart." Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Wren, angry tears brimming his eyes. "You seriously broke my heart, Wren Dumont! I fucking hate you!"

With Saliou's current state, emotions have risen to the surface more easily. It's during these moments when raw emotions and honesty arise, and Wren wasn't quite ready to take it all in. He tried to reach out and touch Saliou lightly, but he recoiled with a cry.

"D-Don't touch me. Don't come near me. P-Please... just go away and leave me alone...!" Saliou demanded.

"How can you expect me to leave you like this?" Wren ignored his pleas and lost himself in the feel of having Saliou in his arms. "I'm sorry, Sal... I'm so sorry... What can I do to get you to forgive me?"

Saliou flailed and struggled to no avail. In the end, he buried his face in Wren's chest and sobbed harder. "What should I do with these feelings, Wren? I don't want them anymore...! They're such... a heavy burden to carry... I'm so tired. Everything just hurts...!"

Saliou's words filled Wren's heart with shame and regret. He squeezed Saliou tightly, softly sobbing against his hair. "Please, let me help you. I still love you, Sal. I still want you..."

His words snapped Saliou back to his senses. Those sweet words that once brought him comfort, now threatened to bring him more pain and misery.

Saliou slowly pulled away from Wren's embrace and wiped away his tears. "That may be true, but... Milou... he's your mate now."

Wren once again tried to reach out to give him the comfort he so obviously needed, but Saliou took a step back, away from him.

"I'm no longer a part of your life now, Wren. I shouldn't be." Saliou choked, trying not to let the emotions gush forth. "And... you might as well not be part of mine, too..."

Wren's heart sank. He bit his lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth.

Saliou slowly turned away from him, hands holding tightly to the railing as he went. "From now on, let's just... make sure not to get in each other's way. It's for the best."

Wren's lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of his mouth. "I still... I need you, Sal..." he began, yet what followed was engulfed in tremors.

Another voice spoke from a dark corner of the balcony. "Wren? Sal?"

They both looked up to see Milou, slowly walking his way toward them, his face painted with panic and concern.

Saliou quickly recomposed himself and took a step toward his brother. Milou came forward and placed his hands on Saliou's upper arms. "Jesus, Sal, you're dead drunk."

Saliou lowered his head and chuckled. "I know... Which is why I need to get going."

"So soon?" Milou glanced at Wren, then back to Saliou. "Uhm, do you want to stay in the house for a bit? You can't go back home like this. Let me go and ask – "

Saliou shook his head as he slowly drew away from his brother. "The celebration will continue without me, anyway. So don't worry too much. If anything, you ought to be resting now." He gently placed a hand on the small swell of Milou's belly. "You've strained yourself too much today." He lifted his head to look at Milou's face, then placed his hand on each side of the other's face. "You look pale. You may be past the morning sickness, but it doesn't mean you're already out of the danger zone." He looked over his shoulder and continued, "Let Wren accompany you to the main house. Get some rest. I'm sure the guests will understand."

Milou pressed his hand to Saliou's. "Will you be okay?"

Saliou was already feeling weak and drowsy, but he managed to nod his head yes. He closed his eyes for a time, then opened them again to look at his brother.

"I'm so happy for you..." The corners of his lips drew up in a faint smile. "A good husband and a baby on the way... Dreams do come true, don't they, Milou?"

Saliou's words sent a cold chill down Milou's spine, as he felt an inexplicable sense of guilt. Before he knew it, his lips were quivering and his eyes were glistening with tears.

Saliou dropped his hands and turned from his brother, walking away before the turmoil in his heart led him to say something that would hurt the other.

For the last time, he glanced over Wren, whose face was still struck with misery. Somehow, it didn't hurt to see him that way. In fact, Saliou liked to see him suffer for what he'd done to him.

Saliou gave himself a second to strengthen his tone of voice. With a self-deprecating smile, he said, "Best wishes to you both." He turned to go.

Wren and Milou, both stifling a sob, silently watched Saliou until he disappeared around the corner of the house.

That fateful day had seen the beginning of a new life and the end of an old flame... 

 

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

 

Milou was six months along when his health had become precarious and trips to the hospital became more and more frequent.

One Sunday night, he was seized by a sharp, fleeting pain in his midsection. By midnight, he had started bleeding. Doctors at the hospital confirmed one of the family's worst fears. Milou was diagnosed with placenta previa, a condition where the placenta had grown across the cervix, causing the bleeding. With recessive Omegas, the bleeding would often be severe – sometimes even fatal for both the baby and the mother.

And so, Milou was confined to the bed for most of his last trimester. But despite compliance and proper medication, he would still experience some light spotting, sometimes accompanied by headaches and dizzy spells.

The obstetrician couldn't quite explain what was going on with Milou's body but after explaining what he'd been going through, the physician said that the symptoms were probably due to stress.

One time, when Milou was accompanied by Saliou to the clinic, he was confronted by his obstetrician.

"Is everything alright at home, Mr. Dumont?" the physician asked.

Milou glanced at Saliou, looking a little embarrassed. He hesitated a moment, fidgeting and biting his lips. "You see, Dr. Kemper..." he said at length, "I think I may just be overthinking things. And lately, I'm feeling a bit more anxious, since I'm nearing my term. But..." His voice trailed off. He let his face and eyes speak for themselves.

Saliou had noticed his brother's agitation since the moment he picked him up from their apartment in Glapshire. Something had happened that morning which made Milou so upset, he had to confide in his brother. 

Things had been better between the siblings, but talking about Wren was almost taboo. Saliou never asked about Wren, and Milou would never talk about him. But that day was different.

"Wren and I had a fight. Again." Milou said morosely and out-of-the-blue. "I thought it would just be one of our usual fights but... he didn't come home last night after that."

"He what?" Saliou pulled the car off the side of the road, applying the brakes to a sudden stop. He turned to Milou with a frown of disapproval. "What kind of irresponsible shit is that?! Why would he leave you home alone, knowing you're in a delicate state right now?!" He whipped out his phone and jabbed the screen.

"Sal, what are you doing?" Milou asked frantically, trying to snatch the phone from his brother.

"I'm calling your goddamned husband and I'm gonna' give him a piece of my mind –"

"Don't!" Milou cried out as he managed to snatch the phone away.

Saliou was surprised and confused when he saw tears in his brother's eyes. "Why are you crying? This is not worth your tears!"

"It – It was my fault, okay?! I – I may have said something horrible to him!" the elder twin retorted as he tossed the phone back to Saliou. "This is a problem between me and Wren, okay? So don't interfere!"

Saliou's lips curled in anger. "Then you shouldn't have told me at all!" he yelled. "How long has this been going on, Milou? Don't even try to lie to me!"

Milou averted his eyes and bit the side of his cheek before responding. "... Since a month ago," he replied, voice barely audible.

Saliou gasped in shock and anger. "And it took you this long to tell me? You can't possibly expect me to just sit back and watch while you're suffering like this!" He watched helplessly as Milou sobbed and sniffled. With a sigh, he said, "Listen. It's not my business to pry into your marital issues – that much I know. But right now, you're carrying a child and you're not exactly in your best health. Can't you see, Milou? All this stress building up in and around you won't make things any better for you and the baby! Don't you understand that?" And then, his eyebrows knitted even more tightly. "Does your goddamned husband even understand that?"

Now, as he sat beside Milou in the cramped-up doctor's clinic, he figured it may have been their marriage that's been putting a strain on his brother all along. Saliou crossed his arms and frowned with displeasure as thoughts of Wren's imprudence occupied his mind. 

Just then – speak of the devil – Wren Dumont entered the clinic looking breathless, frantic, and exhausted.

They all turned to look at him. Saliou in particular, had grown painfully aware of the other's haggard appearance.

The last time he'd seen Wren was three weeks ago, during the baby's gender-reveal party. He was bright and all-smiles then, and his joy practically lit up the room when he found out they were having a baby girl.

But unlike the Wren of that day, the Wren of today looked almost like an entirely different person.

"I'm – I'm sorry," Wren said in a gruff voice. "I forgot today's the scheduled checkup and –" He stopped midsentence when he noticed Saliou sitting next to Milou. "S-Sal, you're here..."

Saliou searched Wren's face. He looked tired – more tired than he had ever seen him. His hair was rumpled, and stubble carpeted his jaw and cheeks. Concern filled him for a moment. "Are you alright?"

Wren sighed then brushed off the question with a wave of his hand. He walked slowly toward Milou, then placed his hands on the other's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I lost track of time. It won't happen again."

Milou looked at Wren with hurt in his eyes, but managed to give him a half smile. "It's okay. You're here now. That's what matters..."

As soon as Wren drew close, Saliou could smell the liquor in his breath. The concern had quickly been replaced by anger and disappointment.

"No, this is not okay," Saliou interjected as he bolted from his seat and went to the door. He glared at Wren and said in a stern voice, "I'd like a word with you." Then he walked out of the clinic.

Milou gave Wren a worried look.

"I won't be long," Wren replied assuringly as he patted Milou on the shoulder before stepping out of the clinic and into the hallway.

 

━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

 

Saliou quickly unleashed his temper the moment he and Wren were out of Milou's earshot.

"Wren Dumont, I've clearly overestimated you. Because I didn't take you for an ignorant, irresponsible fool!" Saliou seethed, jabbing a finger in Wren's chest. "You know this is a very delicate moment for my brother! What if something bad happens and you're not around to help? What then, Wren? A simple apology won't be enough!"

Wren turned his head sideways, trying to avoid the other's unblinking, piercing stare. "I know. It's a mistake on my part, I admit that. But this is the first time it's happened. It's not like I always leave him alone when we fight, okay? I'll... I'll make it up to Milou. I'm here now, aren't I?"

Saliou let out a sharp sigh. "You're here, but you're clearly hung over. My nose may not be as sensitive as anyone else's, but even I can tell you smell like a bar!"

Wren frowned. "But I showed up, didn't I?" he reasoned firmly. "I could've been a no-show."

Saliou's eyes blazed with even more menace, his chin jutted out to register his displeasure. "Are you for real right now?"

Wren scrubbed his hands down his face. "Listen. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I'm screwing this up, I know! I got myself drunk and it's irresponsible of me, but I came here as fast as I could because I wanted to be here for Milou. Can't – Can't you cut me some slack?"

Saliou ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "Wren, come on, you're not a bachelor anymore. You're married and about to have a kid. Don't you think it's time to grow up and be more responsible? You can't just walk away each time you and Milou fight! That's not the way to solve whatever problem you have with him!"

Wren glanced sideways at him, mocking laughter in his eyes. "Obviously, he didn't tell you what it was we'd always argue about."

"Why would it matter? Whatever the issue is between you two, it's never a good idea to –"

"It's you!" Wren cut Saliou off. "It's you, okay?! Even the smallest arguments would turn into big fights because of you!"

Saliou looked dumbfounded and utterly speechless.

Wren's chest heaved up and down as he clenched his fists tightly. "Milou would always start falsely accusing me of cheating on him – with you! Every time I come home late, he'd think I've gone to see you. In fact, he'd think that way every time I'm away from home!" This time, he managed to look at Saliou squarely in the eyes. "I know we'd been through so much together, but the thought of cheating on Milou never crossed my mind!"

Saliou's eyes were wild with newfound hatred. He never expected Milou would think of him that way. Hearing the other side of the story only made him feel worse.

He pressed a hand to his temple, shook his head disdainfully, and scoffed. "That's really fucking rich, coming from Milou." He let out a deep breath to calm himself. And then, he looked up at Wren. "I guess that's how it is when you've forcefully taken something away from someone. You just can't have peace of mind." He steadied himself and turned to walk away. "Seriously, I've had enough of you both."

"Wait," Wren grabbed him by the wrist, "where are you going?"

"I need to get away from all this bullshit. In fact, I never should've come here," replied Saliou as he wrenched his hand away from the other's grasp. "Just tell Milou I left."

There was a flicker of animosity in Saliou, and Wren figured it wasn't wise to ignite it further. In the end, he could only watch silently as Saliou walked away, raking his fingers through his hair in exasperation.

Meanwhile, Saliou desired peace. Peace with himself. Peace from all the troubles of the past. He was sure of getting it and from that day on, he was determined to never again meddle in Wren and Milou's affairs.

 

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

Milou's first bleeding episode was a warning to slow down and free himself from any stressors. His obstetrician told him that, if everything goes well from there, he would be able to give birth without the need for blood transfusion.

But every mother's pregnancy is unique and every case of placenta previa is different. Oftentimes an Omega has a bleeding episode, as Milou did. Weeks went by when he thought the problem was resolved, but then the second bleeding interval occurred.

Milou was 7 months along when it happened, and it was more severe than the first. Once again, he was brought to the hospital for IV infusions and blood transfusion. The obstetrician had kept in close contact with him, even after he was sent home for complete bed rest.

The third bleed followed when Milou neared his term. It was the heaviest and the threat of losing the baby prompted Wren to bring him once again to emergency care.

There were only two weeks left before Milou's due date and the doctor initially suggested he had to deliver immediately by C-section during his bleeding episode. However, five hours later, the bleeding had stopped spontaneously. The doctor wanted Milou to give birth as close as possible to full-term. With the baby showing no signs of distress, they decided to let Milou stay in the hospital for the rest of his term and scheduled the C-section a few days before the due date.

It wasn't until Saliou saw his twin brother in his current weakened state, that he decided to set aside his anger and stay together. Despite the many terrible misunderstandings, despite all the resentment and the heartaches, Saliou chose to stay by Milou's side.

On one occasion, Milou was left alone in the hospital room with Saliou. It was a weekend, and Wren had gone out of town to find a bigger and better place to live in, once the baby is born. Saliou took this as an opportunity to spend some time alone with his brother, and with peace of mind knowing he wouldn't cross paths with Wren. Milou also welcomed this rare moment of silence when they weren't at each other's throats.

Yet somehow, Saliou could sense the presence of something else – something within his brother. 

Milou slowly propped himself up on the pillows so he could sit up, then turned to Saliou who sat in the chair closest to his bed. He gave the other a soul-searching stare, one that was tinged with melancholy Saliou could not quite understand.

Milou rested a hand on his rounded belly. "She's moving a lot today."

"Is she?" Saliou smiled as he moved closer to Milou and leaned his ear to the other's swelling belly.

The second he did, the baby started bouncing around. Saliou gasped in surprise, then chuckled softly. He loved feeling the baby kick and squirm around in Milou's belly. It felt so alien to him, kind of creepy but incredible at the same time.

"You have a name picked out for my niece yet?" Saliou asked, rubbing Milou's belly before straightening up in his seat.

"Well... I want 'Florence', but Wren wants something like 'Dahlia', so I guess it's just 'Baby' for now," Milou replied, then pouted. "I really don't want to name her Dahlia, though."

Saliou rolled his eyes and chortled. "Okay, weirdo. But you guys only have a couple of weeks left to decide. You should at least agree on one thing." He paused a moment, then said, "How about combining both? Florence Dahlia? Dahlia Florence? Both have a nice ring to them, don't they?"

Milou's eyes softened as his lips turned up in a smile. "Hmm... Sounds like a good idea."

Saliou stared at his brother, watching his tired and somewhat glum expression. There were dark circles under those light-brown, doe eyes of his. The freckles he used to count time and time again stood out sharper than they usually did. And if he wasn't mistaken, Milou looked skinnier, as if most of his weight went to his belly. 

He leaned his elbow on the edge of the bed and rested his chin in his hand. "Something's been bothering you. What's wrong?"

Instead of answering, Milou shook his head and averted his gaze, refusing to look at his brother any longer.

Saliou didn't want to see him upset. He drew in a deep, calming breath and placed his hands on top of Milou's, before saying, "You know you can tell me anything and it will always remain between us. I want to know what's upsetting you."

He watched Milou as he drew in his own breath and swallowed deeply. "Everyone... Everyone but you and Wren advised me to have it terminated." He looked down and gently rubbed his belly. "Yet I insisted to keep it despite the risks. But... as expected, my body's not fit to carry a child. I became a burden to everyone..."

Saliou heard the tremor in Milou's voice. There was a world of hurt on the other's face. His chest tightened as he witnessed his brother's frustrations unravel before him.

"What are you talking about? You're perfectly fine now. The baby's fine, too," he remarked softly as he pressed Milou's hand comfortingly. "Just a few more days and you'll finally get to see each other. What's there to worry about?"

"I know, but... I still feel horrible." Milou bit his lips in an effort not to cry. And then, he looked up at Saliou, trying his best to stem the tears that threatened to rise. "I feel horrible because not too long ago, the only reason I chose to keep this baby was because she's my only connection to Wren. And –" His voice choked, struggling to keep himself from crying. "And if I lose her, then Wren... Wren will surely leave me... And I'm scared. I'm so scared..."

Saliou dropped his head, shaking it slightly from side to side. For a moment he didn't know what to say. He'd been so caught up in his own misery, so wrapped up in his own pain, that he blocked Milou out and hadn't allowed himself to understand what the other was going through.

Milou placed a hand on the nape of his neck, finally allowing himself to cry out all the frustrations that had been building up over the past months. "Even until now, Wren refuses to mark me. He hasn't so much as touched me. Don't get me wrong, he's been so kind to me. But..." He broke off with a choking sob. "... I could only hope so much."

For Saliou, it was hard to see a loved one sad and hurt. The pain was far greater than his own.

He tried to console Milou, patting his shoulder. "Hey, don't cry... It's bad for you and the baby..."

Yet Milou was still sobbing until his eyes had gone red. Saliou felt really bad and sorry for him. The situation was weighing on him too much, it's as though he too, was going through the same pain Milou was experiencing.

"I didn't want to be the second best. I wanted to be the only one," Milou said between choking sobs. "But I'm not stupid. I knew from the very beginning. I just refused to see it..." He looked at Saliou, a pained expression in his eyes. "I know Wren loves you. He still does. Always will." The pain in his heart overpowered him, and he dropped his head on his brother's shoulder. "But that's precisely why I hate myself, Sal... I hate myself for taking him away from you. I hate myself for hurting you... Because my jealousy and insecurities got the better of me..." He pulled Saliou into a hug. "And I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry..."

Saliou looked at him with the moisture welling up in his own eyes, too. He hugged his brother back, so tight.

He didn't complain. And Milou cried even more. For all the pain he'd caused. All that he had taken from the other. Realizing the unfairness of it. The guilt. For daring to hope for a happy future with someone he knew would never love him back.

"I know I'm the person you hate the most. I know it's taking all your resolve to come here and take care of me. I took you for granted, Saliou. You spoiled me so much, yet I took you for granted. But without you... I would've been such a huge mess. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me... From now on, I just want to focus on taking care of the baby. And I want to repay you for everything you've done for me."

Saliou didn't move. Didn't speak. He just sat there beside Milou, rubbing his back consolingly. For 30 seconds? 5 minutes? He didn't know.

After a long while, he broke the silence. "You're a big idiot, Mr. Milou Dumont," he said lightheartedly. "No matter what happens, you're going to always be my big brother. Above all else. And I love you regardless of what comes our way."

Finally, when Milou had released months of pent-up tears, he whispered, "Thank you, Sal..."

"I bet you needed that," was all Saliou could say.

He had no idea how much. And now Milou felt so much lighter, more at peace with himself and with his brother.

Saliou reached for a napkin to dry his eyes. "Just make sure to give me the prettiest niece, okay? Otherwise, I won't forgive you," he quipped.

This made Milou laugh, even through the tears. He dabbed at his eyes with a napkin and said, "Just you wait. She'll be so pretty, you'll be the most overprotective uncle to ever walk the earth."

Thus the brothers talked, and wept, and consoled each other by turns, until mutual assurances of everlasting affection remained.

For Milou, although it was hard to move past his mistakes, he learned to own them, kept them as his own, and accepted that Saliou cared for him regardless. Now, he could only hope that by the time he's done, he could feel like he's fully earned the other's forgiveness.

As for Saliou, forgiveness brought him the liberty to heal his heart, mind, and soul. It gave him the chance to begin a new life with only positivity. And while others think that forgiveness is weakness, he thought otherwise.

It takes a big person not to return pain for pain. It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive.

━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

A week before Milou's scheduled birth, Saliou was feeling restless and uneasy, he could barely concentrate at work. He was due on leave for two weeks, and so he busied himself by working extra shifts to make up for what would be a long absence. 

It seemed outrageous how he felt more anxious than anyone else in the family, about his brother's pending childbirth. But as the due date loomed closer, the days and nights felt longer.

Saliou felt more tense and uncomfortable, like something bad could happen at any moment. The thought hovered over him like a dark cloud, and he just couldn't shake it.

As it was, Saliou called and texted Milou throughout the day, feeling relieved when the other would respond to him quickly. Keeping in contact may have helped, but it surely didn't ease his worry.

For the next several days, Saliou fell into a routine at work. Nothing came up that seemed worrisome, so he stayed in the museum spending much of his time doing paperwork.

Two days prior to Milou's scheduled operation, Saliou was sent on an overnight business trip a couple of states away. He spent the hours being nervous while he was away, though he stayed in close contact with his brother, which helped his nerves.

Meanwhile, Wren had already gone on paternity leave, and most of his time were spent staying at the hospital by Milou's side. Ever since their last argument, Saliou was adamant about avoiding Wren. But because of this, he hadn't seen Milou for three days straight, up until his business trip.

It was Saliou's final day at work before his long-awaited vacation. He was so busy that he barely had any time to think about anything outside of work. It wasn't until he was driving back home that he remembered to check for messages or calls he may have missed.

It was already 9 PM then, and all three messages were from Milou, sent to him over two hours ago. Scrolling to his inbox, he opened the latest message:

 

MILOU 18:47 PM

Labor contractions started this afternoon. It hurts like hell. Might be wheeled into OR a day earlier. I'm fine. Kinda nervous but doing OK. See u tomorrow?

 

Saliou could feel his heart pounding in his chest as he read the text. He immediately pulled to the side of the road to give a quick reply.

 

21:16 PM

Sorry for the late response. Got a lil busy at work. How are you now tho??? On my way home from Breemont but I can drop by if you want. Do you need me to bring you something?

 

He waited for Milou's response before driving back along the highway. Three minutes later, his phone pinged.

 

MILOU 21:19 PM

No need to rush. They'll wheel me in by midnight. You must be tired from work so rest up. See u tomorrow. With Baby of course. :-)

Drive safely! 

 

Saliou breathed a sigh of relief as he placed his phone back in his pocket. He smiled at the thought that, in just a matter of hours, the newest member of the family will be born. He was feeling excited, yet anxious and nervous, all at the same time.

He waited a couple of minutes before restarting the car and driving back onto the road.

Milou seems fine. I guess it won't be too bad if I go to bed and get some rest before heading to the hospital. 

He drove for another half hour and arrived home at almost 10 PM. By the time he reached his bedroom, he felt his body ache from the day's work. Feeling totally exhausted, he just wanted to collapse in bed and get some shut-eye. Tomorrow's going to be a busy day after all, and he needed to recharge for the big event.  

He brushed his teeth, set the alarm for 6 AM, and climbed into bed. He checked his phone but quickly set it aside. He thought about sending Milou another text, but figured it may open up a flurry of communication his weary body wasn't ready for. He stuffed his phone under his pillow, clicked off the lamp switch, and fell into a deep sleep almost immediately.

The next morning, Saliou awoke with a start and had this overwhelming sense that something was terribly wrong. He glanced over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was 5:30 AM – his alarm hasn't even gone off. He had no idea why he woke up so abruptly. He couldn't even recall dreaming of anything.

He jumped out of bed and decided to take a shower. As soon as he was done, he reached under his pillow and pulled out his phone.

However, as soon as he opened his phone, he was stunned by what he saw. It was full of missed calls and many unread messages. He skimmed through the first few messages and saw that they were mostly from his mother, while some were from Wren.

Saliou's heart pounded in his throat, behind his ears, not feeling anything else. The sense of dread was overwhelming.

He clicked on his mother's name and was about to hit the Call button, when his phone rang.

Before he could get a word in, his mother started crying frantically on the other end.

"Saliou?" his mother cried out.

Saliou closed his eyes and steeled himself. "Mom. You called. What's up?" His pulse was racing. He tried to sound calm, but he was finding it difficult.

"Sal! Why haven't you been answering our calls? We've... We've been trying to call you for hours!" His mother let out another sob before continuing, "Darling, you need to come down here right now!"

Saliou sat down on the edge of the bed, pressed the phone closer to his ear. "Why? What's wrong?"

This time, his mother let out a hysterical sob. "It's Milou... It's your brother...!"

Saliou's hands began to shake. "What about Milou, Mom? Stop – Stop crying for a second. Take a deep breath. I don't understand what you're saying. Just... tell me what's going on."

"Saliou... Darling... Your brother... he's... he's gone...!"

Gone?

"M-Mom... W-What do you mean? Gone where? To the operating room?"

"He's dead... Darling... Your brother's dead...!"

 

━━━━━━━━┓ ✠ ┏━━━━━━━━

 

For Saliou Matisse, life was one big disaster after another. And by the look of things, it's never going to be right.

Dismayed and distraught, Saliou felt his heart stop beating for what felt like eternity, but was just a second as the shock of the horrifying news registered in his mind. He collapsed to the floor and began crying.

He felt as though his whole world came crashing down on him. His insides became one huge knot. The first thought that came rushing like torrential waves was that Milou had broken his heart once again. In such a small span of time, his twin brother lied and went against his word a second time.

The longest day of his life was today and it's going to become longer every minute.

Saliou's heart was shattering into a million tiny pieces; tears burning his eyes as details of Milou's death was divulged: After delivery and attempted removal of the placenta, Milou began to hemorrhage profusely. But despite attempts to transfuse blood and control the bleeding surgically, his brother continued to hemorrhage, suffered shock and cardiac arrest, and could no longer be resuscitated.

It happened so fast. Milou died in less than 5 minutes after bleeding out.

Saliou got into his car then, and drove on for a couple of miles or more. He was shaking uncontrollably, but he forced himself to drive carefully.

As he drove to the hospital, all the scenes of him and Milou growing up came to him. Every time he looked at himself in the driving mirror, he would see his own brother, and then he would cry again.

He managed to park his car neatly in the hospital court and walk, not run, into the hospital. When he arrived, his eyes were hardly opened from all the crying he had done. But he felt like he was in a daze, as if he were no longer in his own body. There is something unreal about the whole situation, as though he were watching a drama from a front-row seat.

The elevator moved no slower than it should, but in this moment it seemed the frames of time had frozen. Saliou entered Milou's room, a place that was once so full of noise, now eerily quiet. He found an empty bed, and next to it were his parents and Wren's mother. Everyone was weeping.

"Saliou...!" Mrs. Matisse choked on his name and ran to him, crying hysterically.

Saliou rushed over to embrace his grief-stricken, entirely crushed mother. "Mom... Mom..." was all he could utter as he clung to her, buried his face in her shoulder, and whimpered.

Mr. Matisse came over to wrap his arms around Saliou and Mrs. Matisse; tears streaming down his distraught face. Standing there huddled together, they cried and cried, struggling to comfort each other.

"C-Can I see him...?" Saliou managed to ask in his tears.

Mrs. Dumont wiped the tears from her eyes and cleared her throat. "They've - They've already taken his body down to the morgue," she stuttered. "Wren's down there, too. I... I told him to just wait here but, he insisted on staying with... with Milou..."

"I... I didn't get a chance to... talk to Milou," Saliou cried. "I need to tell him I love him... I - I need to go."

 

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The unmistakable sterile smell of the hospital assaulted Saliou's senses. But even that seemed different now. Walking down the long corridor to the morgue, the smell mixed with the overwhelming odor of formaldehyde.

It no longer conjured thoughts of bland hospital food, cleaning products, and rubber gloves. It made Saliou think of death.

He stopped until he reached double swinging doors. Once inside, he spoke with an attendant, who then got up from her desk and took Saliou down another long, dimly lit hallway.

He looked straight ahead. Down at the end of the hall was Wren, sitting on a metal bench closest to a door with a plaque that read the word "MORGUE" in big, black letters.

His head was down, his shoulders hunched, sitting absolutely still like a statue. He looked like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Wren," Saliou called out, now just a few steps away from the other.

Wren jerked his head back, stunned by the sound of Saliou's voice. His eyes were red and puffy. He could see the pain in those eyes, even through the glaze which had thickened more from the last time he'd seen him.

Wren looked so lost, so empty.

"I... I want to see Milou," Saliou said, his voice cracking.

Wren lowered his head slightly, his body heaving slowly with an intake of breath. After a second, he pointed to the door next to him. "The attendant will take you to him."

The walls held the echoes of Wren's voice and Saliou felt his sorrow as if it were his very own. He had the urge to put his arms around the other, but he held himself in check. It was not for him to presume he'd give the other comfort at this tragic moment.

Saliou searched for the right words to console Wren. He hesitated a moment before he went over and placed a hand on the other's shoulder, pressed it lightly. "I'm... so sorry for your loss," he said, not quite sure what else to say.

Wren's sigh of response held a world of sorrow and hurt.

"Wren, I - " Saliou cleared his throat as he was about to speak but again, nothing.

The door to the morgue creaked open, which snapped both Wren and Saliou back to attention. "Only one person at a time," the attendant said, sounding detached.

Saliou felt a shiver go through his body. I'm not ready. Milou, I'm not ready.

He flinched when Wren tapped his hand, urging him to go.

With a faint nod, Saliou followed the attendant and walked into the morgue.

The coldness of the room felt like a sharp icicle penetrating Saliou's heart through and through. Inside the morgue, the sight of stainless steel gurneys and metal tables were unnerving enough, but what caused Saliou, who was already shaken enough, to almost faint were the rows of stainless steel doors lining all four walls of the massive room.

The attendant walked over to one of the metal tables – the only table containing a body, covered with a crisp clean white sheet. As she motioned for Saliou to approach the table, he began to sob again, shaking his head from side to side.

Saliou took a step forward, even though all he wanted to do was to turn around and leave the awful place behind. He was scared as hell, his hands were cold and clammy. But he was determined to carry out the act. He wanted to confirm it once and for all.

Without fanfare nor ceremony, Saliou fearfully pulled back the sheet and gasped instantly, dropped it as he clapped a hand over his mouth to protect his screams from echoing through the enclosed room.

His heart sunk in silent confusion as he once again lifted the sheet on one end, just enough to see the face.

There, Milou lay lifeless on the cold slab of stainless steel, seemingly asleep yet ashy white.

Saliou's resolve was shaken. It took him over a minute to recover from the shock. When he blinked his eyes, a flood of tears started streaming down his face.

Milou's body was still damp from his last bath; droplets of water shining on his forehead. With shaky hands, Saliou took the small white towel from the side of the table and carefully dried his brother's face.

Slightly weak in the knees, he just stared down on his twin brother. He wanted to scream, do something, yet nothing came. He just stared.

Milou's lips were dry and cracked, and had a sickening blue shade to them. His beautiful doe eyes, once so full of life, were closed shut, dark circles underlining both. His hair, always so soft and shiny, now looked stiff and brittle.

Gone was that cheeky smile that illuminated his entire face, the vigor of life that shone brightly in his hazel eyes, and the faint shade of pink that dotted his cheeks whenever he's nervous or excited. Gone was the unbounded energy that poured out of his lean frame, like lava from an erupting volcano, fueled by the joy of life.

Saliou tenderly gathered Milou into his arms. His body was cold. So icy cold. He could feel it right through the sheet that he was wrapped up in. He gave his brother the tightest hug he'd ever given him, rubbed his cheek against his hair, and rocked him as though he were sleeping.

"You said you'll wait for me, Milou... How could you lie to me again?"

Saliou sobbed loudly by then. He told his brother he'd already forgiven him and that there was nothing more to forgive. He told him how much he missed the fun times they had. He told him how very much he loved and cared for him, despite everything that's happened between them.

"You had such a silly laugh, but I loved it most of all," Saliou whimpered, still hugging Milou. "You were so mischievous, so embarrassingly bold, yet you loved having fun." Smoothing the other's hair, Saliou kissed the top of Milou's head, crying softly into his ear. "Why so soon, dear brother? How can I let you go?" He cried uncontrollably now, wracked with the pain of his own misery and grief.

How could life be so cruel and vicious? How could someone so precious be taken away from him? What did Milou ever do to deserve this? It wasn't fair.

"This isn't fair at all...!" Saliou cried aloud and profusely into his brother's stiff and cold shoulder. He held Milou's lifeless body while he cried harder than he'd ever cried in his entire life. He called out his brother's name over and over.

There was nothing he could do. This cold body in his arms had opened a wound in his heart that would never completely heal.

Saliou let out an agonizing scream.

 

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Saliou was holding Milou for what seemed like hours, until there was a soft tapping at the door.

He looked back at Wren watching him, standing in the door, looking forlorn. "Sal... It's time to go."

Saliou gently put Milou back down on the stainless table, then straightened up and turned around to face Wren. He had this look about him that told the other he didn't want to be disturbed.

Wren lowered his head, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "The baby's doing as well as can be expected," he announced. "They're preparing to move her over to the nursery now."

Saliou slowly eased his expression. "C-Can we see her?" he asked gently.

Wren nodded. "Briefly. Later we can have more time with her once all the tests are done."

For a moment, Saliou didn't respond. He turned to look at Milou once more, taking in all the familiar details, committing them to memory.

Slowly he bent his head down, kissed the still, cold body of his twin brother on the forehead. "Rest well, dear brother..." he whispered softly before pulling the white sheet up, covering Milou's pale, white face.

Saliou slowly got up as he placed a hand to his mouth, turning toward the door. Silently he stepped outside the morgue to join Wren.

His heart rumbled as he breathed heavily. He straightened his head, focusing his gaze on Wren's melancholy face. They walked wearily to the exit until they could see the bright light in the lobby.

They were silent throughout their walk, up until they stepped into the elevator then rode up the short distance onto the third floor. Just gazing out through tears. Not seeing. Not hearing. Not speaking. Not daring to feel.

Both Saliou and Wren were numb. Perhaps this was just some horrible nightmare that they'd wake up from any moment now.

When they stepped out of the elevator and reached the hallway leading up to the NICU, Saliou found the courage to break the silence.

"Have you seen your daughter?" he asked Wren.

No words from the other. Wren just shook his head.

"You care for your daughter, don't you, Wren?"

Wren winced at the other's question. "Of course." He finally found his voice. "I love her. I love her with all my heart."

Saliou managed to give him a soft smile, one that brought warmth to his chilled heart.

"What you can do for Milou, right now, is to take good care of your daughter. That's all any mother would want."

Wren listened while Saliou talked to him quietly as they walked toward the NICU – to his daughter.

The doctor in-charge of baby girl Dumont filled them in on her medical status. The baby was a little small, only three pounds two ounces. But other than that, she was, to all appearances, a perfectly healthy full-term baby.

As they listened to the doctor's report, Saliou became aware that they were standing right in front of the nursery window. He turned and began trying to read the tags on the bassinets.

One of the attending nurses happened to pass by and noticed him, then came to the door.

"Sorry, Sir. You can see your baby in a couple hours. Visiting time's between nine and twelve o'clock." The nurse began to lower the Venetian blinds.

Wren stepped in. "Please," he pleaded, "it's my daughter. She was born earlier this morning. Her... Her mother passed away after giving birth, and..."

The look of sorrow on the other's face touched the nurse. "I'm so sorry for your loss," she said contritely. "Well, perhaps just a peek then."

"Thank you," Wren waited expectantly.

"Your name, please, sir?"

"Oh. It's Dumont."

"Dumont," the attending nurse repeated after him. "Give me a minute."

Turning away, the nurse walked back into the nursery and among the rows of pink and blue bassinets. A few moments later, the nurse stepped back out and stood in the doorway, carrying a tiny bundle wrapped in a pastel pink blanket.

"I'll give you a couple of minutes to be with her," said the nurse as she slowly laid the baby in Wren's arms.

Wren just stood there, arms a little shaky, trying to hold the baby as securely as he could. Saliou turned away for a moment, afraid he'd see him accidentally dropping the tiny bundle.

"Uhm, can I hold her?" Saliou finally asked, stretching out his arms, reaching for the baby. "You know, the way you have to hold their head and neck steady when they're so tiny, you just have to be extra-careful."

"S-Sorry," Wren whispered as he carefully handed the baby over to Saliou.

That moment – that precious moment Wren placed the baby in Saliou's arms, he cried.

He cried because she was healthy. He cried because she briefly opened her eyes and looked into his. He cried because he wanted to hold her forever. This precious little one that was safely brought into the world by his beloved brother.

Saliou's lips quivered. "Hello, pretty one," he muttered as he felt hot tears prick his cheeks.

He wanted to see more of her, so he began unwrapping the layers of coverings. She was so tiny and her arms and legs were spindly. Wispy, chestnut hair jutted out of the top of her tiny head, rosy pink cheeks, big eyes like her mother's, and tiny, thin lips like her father's.

"Look at her... She's so perfect. So beautiful..." Saliou sobbed. He held the little girl gently, cradling her, caring for her neck, expecting her to be limp like any newborn baby.

But her fingers slowly curled around Saliou's finger. She held onto him and pushed herself close enough to his chest that he didn't even have to put his hand behind her neck.

She looked at Saliou square in the eyes. Newborn babies' unseeing eyes would usually go wandering in all directions, but this strong little girl stared at Saliou directly, wide-eyed and smiling. It looked like a smile of radiant recognition. It was like she was saying, "I found you!"

Saliou's heart felt full. That very moment, he promised he would take care of her. He would protect her. Love her as if she were his own.

She was named Florence Dahlia and for Saliou and Wren, she is a blessing in full measure.

 

 

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Grief, as Saliou has heard, comes in stages. But that's a lie.

What he felt weren't in stages; they came to him like an enormous wave that rammed into his very soul, out of nowhere. It came to Saliou in the middle of a busy day at work, as he stood in the fruit aisle of a supermarket, as he showered.

He would always wonder how the hell anyone can manage to move on with their life when something so tragic has happened. It's as though something had sucked out everything he has - his heart, his mind, the air he breathes, his entire being.

Milou's death left a gaping hole in Saliou's heart that can never be filled. He reacted to the loss of his twin brother in the same way he had to Wren's subsequent departure from his life. But with Milou's death, the devastation was far more severe. The depression he plunged into after his brother's death lasted for many years.

For a long time he didn't speak to anyone in person nor on the phone, for fear of breaking down. He was willing to communicate only with his parents, sometimes with Wren, and with his niece, whom he personally nicknamed 'Flo'.

Over the years, Saliou would find himself rereading Milou's final text messages to him. And then he'd feel relieved. They were just text messages. Nothing ominous or foreboding about them.

Yet each time he read them, Saliou would be lured back to that fateful day. His heart would ache and then he'd cry. The pain was still fresh, and the memory washed clearly through his mind as if it had happened just yesterday.

Although the circumstances were emotionally difficult for him, nothing in those messages prevented Saliou from regarding them as no more than a final communication to Milou. They were special, simply because they were the last.

Sometimes, however, that sense of relief would be mixed with disappointment.

Was this all? Wasn't there more to my brother's final moments than telling me to drive safely on my way home?

It seemed insufficient. There were no grand last words. There was no final advice. Milou hadn't shown he was going to die, of course, but still...

Thankfully, some days he'd be able to find reprieve from all the heartache. In fact, it's one of the biggest amazement of the human heart. The kindness of it as it allows you a few hours or days where you feel everything is seemingly picture-perfect.

Saliou can manage to smile, to laugh, to prepare himself a meal, to play with Flo. He was allowed to feel fine sometimes, and he thanked his heart for giving him a break from the horrifying reality.

But what haunts him more than anything, is the thought of the fear Milou faced alone during his final moments. His twin brother looked death in the eye so suddenly, and it never let up. It came to him and he dealt with it so defenselessly. He wasn't even given a moment to call out for help. To say goodbye.

It was beyond Saliou. His guilt that his brother, who he was supposed to protect his whole life, would suddenly wake him up at night, in the form of panic attacks.

It destroys him. And whenever he sees his parents sobbing like wounded animals at Milou's grave during their monthly visits, he knows it destroys them, too.

Yet anybody else's pain and grief would never come close to what Saliou felt in all those years. After all, he's the twin brother that survived. 

 

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Perhaps nobody else understood this, but the bond shared by twins can be addictive. Much more powerful than a bond between an Alpha and Omega.

Saliou's relationship with Milou was both competitive and symbiotic - they were each other's best friend and archenemy.

Saliou hadn't realized it until now, but he and Milou have constantly fought to assert a personal ego, while at the same time reinforcing their affection towards one another - two identical halves that made an essential whole. Together they have reinforced their similarities; their loyalty and interdependence.

When one looks in the mirror, they would see each other.

But in losing his twin brother, Saliou had to face the severing of the most powerful bond. All of a sudden he was faced with daunting questions: Who am I without Milou? Will I be able to survive?

Because on the other side of that spectrum of mutual understanding and deep knowing, lies a dark shadow: dependence toward the other and the fear of being perpetually alone. Milou's sudden death certainly plunged Saliou into a deep, dark well of depression and loneliness.

In the second year after Milou's death, Saliou's depression was at its peak. He would look in the mirror and still see his twin. It came to a point where he felt more Milou than himself.

And so, he tried to "starve" Milou away, rid himself of his brother's likeness in an attempt to retrieve himself. On top of shedding several pounds, he had grown out his hair and dyed them a deep shade of brown. Anything, just to make him forget he's ever had a twin.

However, his primal need for his other half and that corrosive guilt for letting Milou slip through his fingers, would always throw him back to punishing himself, to exist as Milou.

It came to a point where he nearly ruined his own life. Drugs for pain turned into dependence and abuse, and suicidal thoughts came close to attempts.

The power of that twin bond equaled survival for Saliou. If his relationship with Milou and his will to live weren't strong enough, it could have meant suicidal death. But despite that gray filter over his world, Saliou chose life. 

 

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Saliou followed the urgings of his parents and initially sought to please Milou by pursuing a career goal he never had passion for. In the end, it only made him feel twisted and unhappy inside. Sticking to it any longer than he already did, could have worsened his depression.

Saliou remembered how happy he was, after previously feeling so detached and out-of-place with his career in accounting, when he finally made the decision to pursue his true longing to be an artist. Clearly, he was born with an artistic soul and his path in life is the pursuit of art. But a true artist can't pursue his art halfheartedly, just as any true lover can't love halfheartedly.

After working for five years as an accountant, Saliou took a huge leap and began working as a curator at the Art Gallery of Glapshire. He tried to rectify the lack of attention Glapshire paid to its local art community. At the same time, this new career gave him the chance to completely reinvent himself.

For thirteen months, Saliou's artistic path was firmly set in the exploration of black - in pastels and charcoals and lithography. Later on, however, he enthusiastically embraced color through gouache painting. It was then when the local art scene began to notice his works and soon enough, Saliou was participating in solo and group exhibits in and out of Glapshire, which had become his second home.

Indeed, Saliou found healing through art. But he realized there's still no separating art from the loss he experienced. Milou's death will forever be engraved in his heart and what he was going through translated into his art. He wasn't afraid to let his feelings show in his creations.

And then there's little Flo.

She'd been the only girl in both the Matisse and Dumont families - the light of everyone's life.

For Wren Dumont, being a single parent and raising a daughter alone had been hard going at first. But with Saliou's help, he was able to navigate through the difficult transition to fatherhood with far less hurdles.

Wren moved himself and Florence into the neighboring state of Idomouth, just half an hour away from Glapshire. Florence grew up quietly with her Dad, and with the guidance of her Uncle Sal.

Saliou, on the other hand, was every bit his brother's keeper. After completing his lease on his old apartment, he moved closer to the school Florence would attend when she reached school age. He brought her up with great care and looked after her the way a loving mother would.

For Saliou, watching Flo grow up changed things for the better. He became her mother figure, though he never once tried to replace Milou. Indeed, he raised the child like she was his own daughter. He knew that's what his brother would've wanted. And in the process, he would constantly remind Flo just how much her mother had loved her.

Days become weeks; weeks become months; months become years.

It's been seven years since Milou passed. But Saliou still misses him, still loves him, still wishing he could get it all back. But the world moved on and other events and changes in his life took precedence over old memories.

Saliou wanted to be selfish, wanted to completely move on and be fully over it by now. But he's not. At least, not absolutely.

But unlike in the past, he no longer reminisced in the course of a normal day like he used to. He may still feel a little disconcerted inside, but now he can manage to smile.

Outwardly, he has moved on. In his heart and soul, he knew something good is bound to come soon just to even out the tragic past. He kept watching, he kept waiting for it.

And then, finally, it came...

 

━━━━━━━━┛ ✠ ┗━━━━━━━━

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 3.