Cold water dripped down Shine’s face as he stooped under the short shower head. He was getting tired of these short ass hotel spigots but money had to be made. Steam rose off of him as the sweat and grime from the job they’d just finished slid down his semi-muscular, formerly athletic body. Scintillating shivers ran down his spine, the flowing water helped with calming his beating, thumping heart.

Just like he used to when he was a kid, he opened his mouth and let it fill with water. The way the water leaked out from the corners calmed him as the thunder in his chest slowed.

A glob of water hit the shower floor, splitting and splashing around his feet as he dipped his head under the shower head again, letting it drip down his face. With his eyes closed memories of his younger self bubbled up.

He remembered how much fun he used to have as he showered, lathering up the shampoo and soap and spreading it across his body. The way it slipped and slid made him feel sensual, luxurious, intimate. It still did to this day. He used to tilt his head back and let the water fall through his hair, massaging his scalp as he imagined that it ran through long, straight locks of fine hair. Arching his back let the water roll down between his buttocks as he slowly rubbed them himself, imagining that they didn’t belong to him. Shuddering, he let his hands wander up and down his body as he spread the lather in slow, sensuous swipes.

Shine shook his head as he felt heat gather in his loins. Confused emotions bubbled up again as the old memories resurfaced. A flush of shame and embarrassment caused a momentary increase of the steam in the shower. Looking down, he couldn’t help but feel disgust looking at the appendage he’d loathed for so long. He’d never felt like it belonged to him, like it was something he was never supposed to have.

Anger filled his vision as he punched the tiled wall, cracking one of his knuckles. He grit his teeth as the cold water ran over the numb, split skin. Red mixed into the falling liquid as the open wound leaked. His face twisted into an ugly mask as he began to silently sob, mouth open as his tears and saliva mingled and fell, diluted as they were flushed into the drain.

Behind him, five sets of green tinged eyes, all filled with multiple irises dotting the sclera, watched intensely from a dingy, oddly shadowed corner. Each pair strobed constantly, raking back and forth along the tall man’s naked form.

---

Sitting on his bed, towel draped over his shoulders, Shine scrolled through his phone. Images of men in various poses flew past as he mindlessly swiped. A text message from Nocks popped up.

“Job. Solo.”

Pulling on his usual black jacket, black t-shirt, black jeans, and black chucks, he hustled out of the room.

Pounding, Shine thumped his large fists on the door. Nocks opened it and gruffly handed him a folded paper.

“Quit knocking like you a fuckin’ op cuh.” Without another word the man shut his door, leaving Shine to look over the hastily scribbled note.

“Pay the casino a visit. Collection time. Double.”

As he walked away he tore the paper into bits, pulled his phone out and dialed a number.

“Ei, am comin’ down. Get me a ride.”

Riding the elevator was odd for him. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he felt sets of unseen eyes, watching and waiting. Dread began to fill his chest as his breathing grew shallow, labored. The elevator continued its descent. It began to feel as if it had slowed to a crawl as Shine’s eyes darted back and forth. He resisted the urge to act out, he couldn’t have anyone, not even some low rent security, see him acting weird. The lights on the floor selection panel continued to blink as the elevator sank.

Deep, slow inhales through the nose. Long, slow exhales through the mouth. Over and over. Shine concentrated on his breathing as he fell into a meditative mode, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall. He listened and counted how long he was inhaling and exhaling. 10 seconds, inhale, 7 seconds, exhale. Over and over, he sank into one of his pre-job routines. The panel dinged as he arrived at the lobby. With a swoosh of welcome fresh air, the doors slid open as he stepped out, still concentrating on his breathing exercise.

Stepping out of the air conditioned lobby, Shine was hit by a rush of hot air. A throb began just above his left eyebrow.

A modest, low key car pulled up in front of him as a young man hopped out.

“Here you go big bro!” the young man called as he handed the keys to Shine. “It’s got some slap in it too.”

Shine took the keys and waved the young man off. “Aight, I’ll be back. You make sure they filed it down and everything?”

The young man shook his head vigorously as he answered. “Yeah, I checked myself. It’s clean.”

Plopping down, Shine hooked up his phone and turned up his music as crass, heavy rap flooded out of the car. He nodded and smirked as he threw the young man a thumbs up and a wad of cash.

The music continued to bump, keeping him distracted as he drove. A pair of Glock 19’s lay in the passenger’s seat along with four replacement magazines. His standard load out whenever he went on a solo job. It had been a long time since he’d gotten in a shootout, even longer since he’d come across any problems during a collection job.

“One, Two, Three, Lemme get a G.”

Shine thought about his initiation and how dizzy he’d gotten after. He’d kept a mask of ignorance as he listened to Known’s broken recollection of his dream. He’d shrugged it off and called the young man weird. And the conversation was halted due to Nocks nearly killing all three of them. But the dreams remained. Even to this day he still had those nightmares. All the faces he couldn’t forget rotated and screamed in his face. A black, murky cloud constantly filling his mouth as he tried, but failed, to get free. The kaleidoscope of faces constantly shifting and morphing, screaming and howling. The feeling of something wet and slimy slithering across his skin.

Numerous nights had been lost to those nightmares. And now he couldn’t sleep without smoking a laced blunt and downing some sleeping pills.

“Four, Five, Six, bitches lickin’ dicks.”

The face of his first victim didn’t even belong to that of the young man he’d killed for his initiation. It belonged to someone younger, much younger. A boy he still thought about. The one who’d ignited his rage so many years ago when he was less jaded and so, so stupid. He could still remember that little sissy boy, the way he walked and talked, the way he held his hands so daintily. Shine felt the disgust and fascination rise in his gut as he thought about the long dead young boy who had been the first to question his identity.

“Seven, Eight, Nine, Can’t fuck wit’ Shine!”

The glitzy lights of the casino bathed him in it’s iridescent glow as he pulled up to the valet booth and threw the car into park. As his long leg stretched out of the car he reached behind himself and grabbed his holster and guns. The valet’s eyes lit up as the weapons made their grand appearance.

“Don’t worry lil dude, they know who I am,” his voice took on a soothing quality as he addressed the young valet. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, the large man pulled on the holster and settled both guns into their spots before putting his jacket back on, clipping the extra magazines into specially made pockets.

Straightening his jacket with a flap, he motioned at the car with his chin. “Don’t move it, Ain’t gone be long. If it ain’t here when I get back, it’s gonna be some problems.”

Casino security jumped on their walkies as soon as he walked in, not even trying to hide the fact that they were following the large, tan man. With all the bravado in the world, he marched straight to the tellers booth.

“Ei, tell your boys am wit’ the Kalapu,” he leaned forward as he spoke, trying to make sure his soft voice could be heard over the cacophony of dinging bells and rolling slots.

The teller's face blanched as she quickly hopped on the phone. Shine turned back around and leaned against the extended sill of the booth, pulling out a cigarette. The security lingered nearby, at least five were milling around by empty slot machines trying to act like they weren’t watching him. An ominous smirk crossed his lips as his lighter flared to life.

“Ei!” he barked at one of the security guards. The older gentleman turned to him, trying to act like he hadn’t just looked away. With a quick flutter of his jacket Shine flashed his holstered guns. The older man reached for his gun, followed by the rest of the security in the vicinity as they turned towards him. A large, malicious smile crossed the tall man’s face as he continued to smoke his cigarette, blowing little rings at the men.

“Stand down!” a man in a suit barked as he burst out of a door that had ‘Employees Only’ plastered on it. “Stand! Down!”

Bewildered, the encroaching guards stopped, hands still resting on their guns.

Wringing his hands, the man turned and offered a hand to Shine. “Sorry about that sir. They’re all new.”

Shine nodded, ignoring the offered hand as he walked past the man, pulling the door open. “Come on, I got shit to do.”

Without waiting for the squirrel-y man-suit, he entered and began walking, knowing where he was meant to be. Behind him, the man stammered before rushing through the door.

“Um, Mr?” the question hung in the air as he quickened his pace to catch up with Shine.

“Don’t worry. You won’t be here the next time I visit.”

“Understood. Yes. The Chair is on his way, I’ll ta--”

Shine cut him off with a wave of his hand as he continued to walk, picking up his pace and lengthening his stride. “I know where its at. Keep up.”

They walked in silence as the shorter man struggled to keep up. By the time they reached the hidden, off-camera room buried deep within the recesses of the back hallways, he was wheezing as he hurriedly wiped his face with his sleeve. Shuffling, he stepped forward and entered the code before a mechanical whirring announced the door unlocking. Shine stepped in without looking back at his escort.

“Mr. Shine, it’s good to see you again.” the older gentleman who was waiting in the room stood, looking as if he had just sat down and was a bit peeved to have to stand again.

Shine slapped the old man’s open palm. “Chair. Quick visit today. You got the missive right?”

The old man plopped back into the comfortable, over cushioned seat. He waved his hand and a man clad in an all-black tailored suit emerged from the corner with a large duffel bag, placing it on the table that occupied the middle of the room.

“All there, Mr. Shine,” the old man motioned once more. His man ripped the bag open and began loudly counting out the stacks of cash.

“3.5 sir. All accounted for.” the suited man said, not looking either of the other two occupants in the eyes.

Shine looked at the stack, eyes unreadable, before he drew one of his guns and shot the suited man in the face. Blood, bits of skull, and brain matter decorated the carpet behind the man as he collapsed, bullet embedding itself in the floor with a soft thud.The old man cringed as the shot rang out, covering his ears with shaking hands.

Shine winced and covered his right ears as the ringing set in. The two men waited in silence, neither able to hear a thing for a while. Shine’s ears popped as sound returned, filling the ringing void.

“Next time,” Shine said as he swept the pile of cash into the bag. “Save your folks by not saying my name. Got it old man?”

The old man nodded feebly, misty eyes staring at Shine with his hands still partially covering his ears.

Without a word, Shine turned and exited the room, leaving the quivering man in the dim room.

A shadow followed Shine, hugging the ceiling as a sixth set of green tinged eyes joined the other five, watching the tall man briskly make his way out of the employee hallways.`