And that was how the good atmosphere within the café was ruined. Feng Qi’s question put Jun Yang under the spotlight and it made him feel uncomfortable.

“Stop joking…” Jun Yang wiggled in his seat as he adjusted his posture. He tried to move his eyes away but he noticed Feng Qi had been holding his gaze. It would be rude to turn away but if he continued staring at the young man, he might not be able to stop his face from turning beet red.

As a departure from his usual self who would have laughed or smirked at Jun Yang’s discomfort, Feng Qi continued to look into Jun Yang’s eyes and he said in a sincere tone, “But I’m being serious. You have not once said yes to my proposal before.”

Feng Qi was right. He had many times referred to Jun Yang as his boyfriend or asked him to be his boyfriend masked in a joking manner but never once did Jun Yang give him a direct confirmation that he had accepted the proposal. Every time Jun Yang would brush him off with humour or pretend to not have heard him. Thus far, Feng Qi had been unable to seek validation for their relationship.

This placed Jun Yang in a conundrum. While he could admit that he enjoyed spending time with Feng Qi and had even gotten used to his teasing words, on top of that, the birthday surprise that Feng Qi had prepared for him that day really touched Jun Yang, but to have him take that last step, it was still quite hard for the young man to accomplish.

He fidgeted uneasily. Feng Qi had been nothing but nice to him and honestly, Jun Yang could say he enjoy Feng Qi’s company but to acknowledge it, to admit it and to voice it were completely different things.

To put it simply, Jun Yang had not reached the stage to make the open confession that Feng Qi wanted from him. This was due to fear and limitation sourced from the society, Jun Yang’s family and himself.

Once again, Jun Yang relied on old tricks and turned away to feed himself the cake. After he swallowed, he very naturally changed the subject to something else, “The cake is very nice. Do you mind sharing with me the recipe so I can show it to my family cook?”

Feng Qi could see the unease that his question caused Jun Yang and he was familiar with Jun Yang’s tactic when he wanted to avoid awkward situation, so he did not push further. He played along with Jun Yang and let him be. While Feng Qi was slightly disappointed, it did not make his lose hope, if anything, it only made him want to work harder to one day win the heart of the person he loves.

…

They were halfway through the cake when Jun Yang suddenly leaned back in his seat and looked at Feng Qi silently. The surprise from the cake had winded down and the problem that was boggling his mind earlier started to return. The family issue and the forced engagement to Pei Ling resurfaced in Jun Yang’s mind.

Probably due to the closeness that he sensed with Feng Qi at that moment, Jun Yang decided to go back on a decision that he had made earlier. Suddenly, he wanted to hear Feng Qi’s input on his situation. He valued his opinion.

However, Jun Yang did not plan to reveal everything to Feng Qi. For some reason, there was a voice inside his head that told not to do that, and thus Jun Yang hid the entire truth like a shameful secret and he only asked Feng Qi this short question, “Feng Qi, what is your plan for the future?”

Feng Qi answered without missing a beat, “To be with you, of course.”

The answer was sweet but it was not the type of answer Jun Yang was looking for. “No, I’m being serious here. Stop kidding. What do you plan to do for yourself in the future? Or what do you see yourself doing in another 5 years, 10 years or even 20 years’ time?”

Hearing the severity in Jun Yang’s voice, Feng Qi focused on contemplating the question. The frown between his eyebrows creased and relaxed following the train of his thought. For some reason, Jun Yang found himself anticipating Feng Qi’s answer. He did not realize he value Feng Qi’s opinion that much.

After a few minutes, Feng Qi finally got the answer. “Actually, I really do not envision so far into the future. There is no planning per se, whatever will be will be, que sera sera.”

This answer was so against everything Jun Yang was taught since he was young that he needed some time to process it. Since he was young, he was instilled the importance to have a clear direction and goal in life and his every action should be a concerted effort to move towards that goal.

The fact that his parents already had his whole life planned out for him aside, the key point still stood, it was crucial to have a precise and concise life planning.

Therefore, when Jun Yang heard Feng Qi champion a lifestyle that was not only different from the one he believed but one that was completely opposite, he could not help but question, “But how can you have no planning at all for your future, your life? Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.”

When the question left his lips, Jun Yang had a momentary lapse that it felt like it was his parents who were asking him that very question.

Feng Qi looked at Jun Yang like he had lost his mind or something. Then Feng Qi provided a statement that Jun Yang had no counter to, “Because, Jun Yang, life is something that cannot be planned.”

That was like an adage that was pulled from your quintessential book with inspirational quotes but Jun Yang could find no retort to it.