I awoke with a start, attempted to sit up and smashed my head against something hard. It took me a moment to regain my senses, and realize I was back in the projection chair. When I applied a firm, steady pressure the canopy slowly clam shelled open allowing me to escape.

 

“You okay there boss?” Bandit asked as I stumbled out. I didn’t feel weak after the experience, just a little disoriented, which wasn’t exactly surprising considering I’d just gone from the middle of a life and death fight to sitting in a fucking lounge chair, with little time for my brain to process.

 

“I think so… how’s everyone else?” I muttered, glancing around the room.

 

“Absolutely fine. The system apparently was designed to dim pain signals, and cut out before the contestants experience extreme trauma. Which would make sense, you wouldn’t want all the participants to be traumatized every time they went into the simulation,” Bandit explained, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. “They’re waiting in the front room.”

 

“Then let’s not leave them all waiting,” I grumbled, stumbling towards the front.

 

The others were standing awkwardly around the main room, looking despondent.

 

“What’s the matter with you lot?” I grumbled.

 

“We failed you! We couldn’t complete the entire dungeon!” Bob wailed. “Now we’ll never get home!”

 

“Why would you say that?” I asked. “My deal with Lanivia was that we had to compete in the dungeon, not that we had to complete it.”

Everyone turned and looked at me, surprised.

 

“Then why were you so intent on winning?” Deadbeat asked.

 

“We had to put on a decent show for the people,” I snapped. “Plus, I don’t like to lose, you know that!”

 

“So, what do we do now?” Spooky asked.

 

“That… I don’t know,” I admitted. “When I talked to Lanivia we didn’t discuss specifics.”

“Of course you didn’t,” the grey bear scoffed. “You know, you really should worry about the details more often. You can’t just fly by the seat of your pants all the time.”

“It’s worked so far!” I exclaimed.

 

I could tell that my second in command was about to go off, and lecture me about the importance of strategic planning and logistics, but before he could there was a knock at the door. I, or course, took full advantage of the distraction.

 

When I pulled open the door I was surprised to find a pair of girls about my age.

 

“Hi! I’m Chelsea, and this is Bea,” the redhead with the wild unkempt hair chirped. I didn’t recognize her, but her companion was familiar to me. It was the wasp girl from the Greenhouse.

 

“Your name is Bea? Really?” I scoffed.

 

Deadbeat ran over and pushed me out of the doorway. “Sorry about the boss, she’s just a little testy after the run. How can we help you today?”

 

“I’m not testy, you're testy,” I grumbled, attracting a quick glance and giggle from the girls.

 

“Lanivia asked us to stop by,” Chelsea explained. “She needs a little time to prepare some sort of ritual before she can help you, and suggested that we invite you all to the post match feast.”

 

“Do you always have a post match feast?” I asked suspiciously.

 

“Not always, but sometimes!” Chelsea exclaimed. “We like to celebrate after a big match!”

 

“I am a little peckish,” I muttered, drawing a small glance from Deadbeat.

 

“We would be honored to attend,” she told the girls, in a much more diplomatic way.

 

“Great! This way,” Chelsea replied, stepping out of the doorway and gesturing for us to follow.

 

Slipping out of the door, I fell into step with the two girls as they made their way through the maze of corridors within the Mansion.

 

“So… what do you do here Chelsea?” I asked the red head, trying to make idle conversation.

 

“Oh, nothing much. I’m just a floor boss,” she replied non-chalantly, before shooting me a shit eating grin.

 

I stared at her for several long seconds.

 

“You’re shitting me,” I finally said.

 

“You know, you’re really foul mouthed,” Bea exclaimed, scowling at me. Chelsea just laughed.

 

“I’m not! You probably don’t recognize me because I’m slightly less bestial right now, and I only have one head.”

I stared at her again, eyes wide.

 

“Wait. You’re the creature that was at the end of the greenhouse? I remember you being much…” I trailed off, trying to come up with the right word.

 

“Larger? More intimidating? Feral?” Chelsea asked.

 

“All of the above,” I admitted.

 

Chelsea laughed. “A lot of the stronger magical species have the innate ability to polymorph. Chimera, like myself, are no exception. My mother and I both like to fight in our native forms, but prefer a more humanoid appearance when interacting with our coworkers.”

“Makes sense… I can’t imagine this place was originally built with larger creatures in mind,” I said.

 

“You’d be surprised,” Bea said. “Chelsea and Charlotte aren’t the only oversized members of staff. Voss, the ent you met back in the gardens, and Gun’thur, the boss of the conservatory, both dwarf most humanoids. All the corridors, and staff facilities, are constructed to accommodate staff members of all sizes.”

“I noticed!” Bob declared from behind. “I don’t hit my head on every doorframe, like I do back home.”

“Even if the Manor hadn’t been constructed with these people in mind, it wouldn’t be hard for Lanivia to restructure the place with magic,” Chelsea explained.

 

The pair led us back down to the central rotunda, which was now filled with people. Most of them had participated in our run just a few minutes earlier, now they were chatting and laughing like nothing had happened. Which… I guess it didn’t, considering everything we experienced was nothing more than a simulation.

 

We crossed the rotunda and entered a small set of double doors which sat directly opposite of Lanivia’s area. As soon as I stepped inside I had to pause, and look around. I was a little surprised, after all the fantastical things I’d seen since arriving in this world this area was surprisingly normal.

 

To my right were a handful of lounges, with several comfortable couches and lounge chairs clustered around some of those crystal televisions. Just a little further down the hallway I could see an open dorm room, along with signs for a library, and even a games room.

 

On my left was a large, well appointed cafeteria. Several tables had been pushed together in the middle of it, and they were surrounded by people.

 

While I’d been looking around Chelsea and Bea had headed into the room, so I rushed to catch up.

 

“I see you two found our guests of honor,” Sullivan declared as I walked in. The big man was still cradling his head in one arm. “Welcome to the post match festivities!”

 

“Thanks?” I replied awkwardly, glancing around the table. I recognized everyone at the table from our adventure through the dungeon. “I didn’t expect to receive such a warm welcome, especially after having such a brutal scrap with all of you.”

 

“Water under the bridge!” the serpentine woman declared. She looked quite jovial for someone I’d just disemboweled several minutes earlier. “Do you think we’d do this job if we didn’t enjoy it?”

“I have no idea…” I admitted. “I kind of got forcibly recruited to my job.”

 

“Sounds tough! Why don’t you sit down and tell us about it. I’m Kassandra by the way, and this…” she said gesturing to a familiar looking, flustered arachnid woman next to her, “is Talia.”

I smiled at the pair, “Nice to meet you, I’m Evelyn, but you can call me Teddy. Everyone does.”