I gritted my teeth, it was just over two hours after lunch. I wasn’t able to get any info by wading through the conversation awkwardly with Era and Blake. Apparently, uttering rhetorical questions and what if situations can end up getting ignored if you’ve repeated, what seemed to be a similar idea, in different forms for over 3 times. I felt an aneurism coming along just recalling what happened:

Attempt #1: “What if one of us dies… and suddenly ends up here?”

Their response: Mixed facial expressions, and attempts to let me clarify myself.

Attempt #2: “What if I’m not... real? I’m just… a miracle.”

Their response: Try again, but try harder.

Attempt #3: “Do you know if… the supreme being is somewhere here hiding? I mean, it’s okay now. We can stop all the charades. I was joking when I said I wanted to play games in heaven.”

Their response: Stares. Just blank, meaningless, worried stares.

Attempt #4: “What if…”

Their response: Why don’t we just get your backpack, Quinn?

I seriously don’t know where I went wrong. I don’t know what went right either. Now, I’m sitting in class as if the world is fine and I never died. I’m sitting here not even knowing why Era’s a main quest.

I opened my holoscreen, expecting the next quest to appear. There was nothing.

Frustration stayed in me like a timebomb waiting to happen.

Sighing heavily, I tapped my finger lightly on the table observing my blockmates as they focused on the discussion. Only the sounds of light murmurs, clacking of keyboards, and the professor lecturing filled the room. It felt… normal, yet to me, it was unsettling.

I closed my eyes for a while deliberating on what I should do next. It felt like being confined in an empty room, there wasn’t anything I could do. Era had an <assassin> class but there wasn’t much information to deal with. Was she also part of this game? No. Impossible. I was unsure whether to be more fearful with the possibility of Era not being part of this in-game reality.

“That could be worse,” I thought to myself, pained by the idea.

At the same time, I’m awfully sure Blake and Era didn’t notice anything out of sorts. Their responses were typical...

“It’s probably just me.” My eyes opened, taking in the sight of the classroom.

There were no answers, there was nothing I could do. I wanted to raise a white flag and just tell my mind to shut up.

The questions keep coming on a loop.

Shut up.

The pain of having to experience being shot burned in my body.

Shut--

Now, I’ve calmed down. My mind, blank. Frustration felt like a distant memory, all that’s left is objectivity and confusion. Honestly, I’m not so sure whether to be thankful or displeased.

Small holoscreen messages appeared one after the other, in a column showing the progression of the skill. I stared at it nonplussed. I definitely was not impressed. What a helpfully unhelpful skill. This wasn’t giving me much success in figuring out my situation, but it kept me level-headed. How convenient.

I fished my phone from my pocket, and sent a quick text to Era. I needed answers.

Quinn: Meet me after school?

A reply quickly came without a moment’s thought. My mind drifted off wondering what class was Era in as I typed in a response.

Era: Pizza?

Quinn: Sure.

Blake, who was silently staring at me, patted my back lightly. He looked me in the eye and whispered, “Good luck.”

I stared at him questioningly. “You don’t want to come?”

He knitted his brows and grinned at me as if he knew the infallible truth behind the secrets of the world but refused to share it to me out of pure spite and mockery. He dropped his hand off my back and returned to taking down notes.

His silence had always scared me. “What?” I hissed.

He raised a knowing brow and eyed the phone. Era’s response present for everyone to see:

Era: See you :*

I flushed. No. I looked at him. “No, no,” I whispered, “Not like that. Seriously. You can come.”

Blake made a nonchalant sound and ignored me for the rest of the class. He focused on scribbling down his notes on a prehistoric notebook instead of making the transcript on a laptop.

I made a face at him and turned to my laptop. My sight flickered for a moment. A glitched holoscreen appeared for a few seconds and disappeared. I blinked a few times, “Weird.” I waited for the screen to start up again.

It didn’t.

“Open...” I struggled for the word. I was imagining the typical game-like pause, complete with the options and inbox. Considering this reality, surely this isn’t far-fetched?

“Open menu.” I commanded.

The holoscreen appeared in a menu-like format.

“Odd,” I wondered, both the [Save], [Load], and [Exit] choices were highlighted out. Just like my class. I tried choosing either of the three, yet none were responsive.

“Is it because of my low skill level?” I reasoned to myself. Without much of a choice, I went to [Options].

I read it multiple times. My eyes went over the choices before I choked out, “What?”

Again, one of the troubles of having a holoscreen is that you are visible to the world, and the holoscreen is not. Coupled with the multitude of questions of my poor existence (or death), I get weird looks and an unimpressed professor. Definitely be sure that I’ll most likely be called, I lowered the holoscreen. I grinned guiltily.

The professor, contrary to my assumption, continued on with the lecture.

But the problem was, I swear I could hear Blake roll his eyes.

I glared at him.

He just shrugged back and gestured towards my empty laptop screen, save for a few phrases:

  for repetition and

  slow onset

  circular breathing patter

I tapped on the letter “n” to end the word ‘pattern’. He sighed and continued on with his notes. I was definitely unimpressed with him too, why does he just take it all in stride.

“Thanks, pal.” I thought mockingly.

Refocusing on my holoscreen, I chose [Voice Language].

The corners of my mouth lifted, “It couldn’t be, right…?”

At that moment, I swear. My life as a gamer was officially finalized, there was not a single doubt in my mind anymore. I was in a game. Definitely. A hundred percent sure of it. I didn’t know how, or why. But that was it, seeing my professor speak in fluent Japanese was the moment I was undoubtedly sure.

I chose [Subtitles] to satiate my curiosity.

I gritted my teeth and thinned my lips. I coughed lightly, and did everything in my entire being to prevent laughter from escaping me. Definitely a difficult feat. A laugh threatened to escape my lips seeing words appear as my professor spoke, and boy did he talk a lot.

The laughter was gone. I glared at the holoscreen, how dare it take away my happiness. Returning the settings back to default. I pondered for a moment, I opened my skill list.

“Idiot’s Mind…” I bitterly thought.

I recalled what [Idiot’s Mind] meant. It’s the idea that nothing would faze me, so it’s probable that extreme emotions are gone to me. The higher this levels up, the more... ‘objective’ I would be.

“What an unpleasant skill.” I tried to deactivate the skill, but it seems like it was a built-in character skill. It was permanently equipped. The idea of me needing it made me quietly anxious.

I decided that it was enough realizations. My mind was in turmoil. I closed the holoscreen.

Era: What flavor should we get?

My hands didn’t have the heart of replying. I faced forward and allowed the lecture to drown me in the false sense of normalcy.

“I’ll have to go ahead,” Blake said monotonously, his face plastered into a smirk, “I haven’t finished the module for Anatomy.” He gave me a pat on the back, similar to what he did earlier this afternoon. The idea definitely went through. Unwanted, but it went through.

Era grinned, “See you tomorrow.”

Blake nodded back, “See ya’.”

He smiled at me, and walked away. I suddenly had this daunting feeling that I lost. I glared at him.

“So, where’ll we go?” Era said as she bit the inside of her cheek. A bad habit.

“Stop biting,” I reminded instinctively. It struck me as nostalgic, realizing that she did stop when we were in fourth year.

She stopped unoffended, “So, where?”

“Domino’s?” I suggested, on instinct again. I winced at the idea of normalcy. Nothing was, after all.

She nodded approvingly, “Yes, yes. That’s good.” She walked alongside me, “Domino’s is nice. I’d also like chicken. Maybe calzone, also.” She rumbled on as she walked.

I smiled. “Make sure you finish everything.”

“Is that a threat?” She not-so-lightly backhanded my stomach. “I got this as backup. I’m invincible.”

I snorted, “How nice.”

“It is,” she insisted. “Imagine having a backup stomach that can fit 2 boxes of pizzas. It’s a miracle.” She did jazz hands to highlight her idea of a ‘miracle’.

Laughing, the holoscreen decided that it was the best time to make itself known. The message window popped up with a quest.

 

 

 

My eyes widened. The countdown began. I closed the holoscreen before giving it much thought, in fear of accidentally slipping everything to Era.

“You alright?” Era asked, standing right in front of me. Her auburn eyes questioning and concerned. I stared at the words above her head. She broke me out of my thoughts, and reminded me of my goal.

“Yeah.” I nodded, more to myself than to her. “I’m good.”

She gave me a strange look. “You’re not much like yourself today.” She noted, “I mean, you’re generally you, just that you seem to always be staring into space.”

I remained quiet, unsure of what to say. The silence of the timer resounding loudly.

Being the sanguine that she was, she lightened up the mood by demonstrating my ‘staring-into-space’. “Look,” she said, calling for my attention. She then walked then suddenly stopped. Her eyes widened exaggeratedly right after. “Exactly like that. As if you hit a mime wall or something.” She laughed at her own idea.

In turn, I was surprised to find myself laughing as well. “Something like a mime wall.” I agreed, miming a wall in front of me. I stepped aside as if to avoid the wall. “That’s better.” I patted myself triumphantly.

She forced a straight face, but burst out laughing. “That’s nice,” she agreed, and the topic was dropped. “Glad to have you back, Quinn.” She pushed me forwards. “Now, let’s eat. Let’s eat.”

We began walking towards Domino’s red and blue glare making itself known.

“Do you feel like talking about it?” she prompted again after a moment of silence.

“Say, Era,” I started, not really knowing where I should lead on. “Have you…"

“Have I?” She repeated curiously, coming to a stop.

I inhale slowly, “Have you…”

She leaned close to me. “Yes?”

Her closeness snapped me back to some form of reality, all the moments I spent with her and Blake. That didn’t change, right? None of it changed. The thought of dancing with her on baccalaureat night right before our graduation. All the simple times of having her there, with me. Living. That was her, right?

Was this game-like reality worth all those?

My throat went dry. The <assassin> forgotten and unimportant.

“Nothing.” I said with a soft smile. “It’s nothing.”

She seemed very unimpressed. “You can ask me anything you know.”

“Is there anything you want to tell me?” I prompted instead, hoping she would get the idea. She looked genuinely shocked at that.

“Wow, Quinn,” She displeased. “Nope. I’m not falling for that.”

“What?” I asked, confused. “I mean, are you sure you don’t want to tell me anything?” I gestured towards her head and mine.

She takes a step back with a huff, displeased and annoyed. “I’m not telling you anything.” She announced as she walked away from me, defiantly striding towards Domino’s.

I sighed heavily and followed her in. “Try again.” I commanded myself determinedly.

She mumbled angrily at herself as she stood in line. I nudged at her shoulder lightly. “What pizza do you want to get?”

She looked up at me, full-on puppy eyes. “Pepperoni.”

I nodded. “Save us a seat.” I gestured towards the empty chairs outside. “I got this.”

She gave me a wary look. “I don’t like hawaiian.”

“Pepperoni, I swear.” I raised my hand. “Now shoo-shoo. I don’t want to eat standing up.”

As soon as she left, I closed my eyes.

 

 

Ordering with a holoscreen was uncomfortable. It kept popping up at unexpected times. It did help me keep track of the available orders without squinting at the screen, but it was quite difficult to manage considering that I had to talk to the cashier.

I paid with actual money, contrary to my hopes of using in-game money, which automatically triggered the [Yes] option.

The holoscreen prompted as I picked it up. I sighed and made my way out, this is going to take a long while to get used to. I spotted Era fiddling with her phone. She looked up and spotted me carrying the boxed pizza. I could definitely note the moment she saw the pizza in the way her face lit up.

It was a short second, a realization of what I have greeted me.

I walked my way towards her, my heart at it's lightest. The lightest I have felt today..

I know things people don’t. I see things people don’t. I’ve been given a chance that people don’t.

I placed the pizza on the table, opening it with wide arms. “Order’s up,” I said with a grin. “Your dearly beloved Pepperoni.”

“Food after my own heart,” she declared, reaching in for a slice.

“I’ve been craving pizza since lunch,” I muttered, taking a seat and lowering my bag on the ground.

“There’s a lot to take in today,” I thought to myself. “I died, but here I am now.”

Whether this was a made up reality or a false one, I got this chance at life, a second chance to live. What should I do?

I felt the heat from the greasy fingers against my cheek. Era was poking me, while looking at me worriedly. “You okay?” she mumbled, her mouth full.

“You keep asking me that,” I winced, wiping off the grease with the hilt of my palm. “Is it good?”

“It’s great,” she admitted like a childish secret as she slouched on her seat taking another bite. “Pizza is great. The best.” She made a hand-sign for ‘okay’. “I love pizza.”

I reached in, “So,” I started, “Nothing you want to tell me?”

She closed her eyes, as if to think deeply. “Nothing out of the ordinary…”

“What about your day?” I insisted, not sure whether I was

“We might have to stay a while,” she mocked. Considering her very busy schedule and her way with words, ‘a while’ sounded like a joke.

I smiled. “I’ve got time.”

“Maybe.”