Hong Sheng was staring at the windows.

Every now and then, like an agitated cat, he got into these moods where he stared, anxious and fretting, at the things that unsettled him: the large french windows, the open lawn of the villa’s outdoors. Lu Hao knew he felt unguarded. If zombies came, they could break into the villa in seconds.

Since Hong Sheng couldn’t relax like this, Lu Hao took it upon himself to gently probe, “Do you want to redecorate the villa?”

Hearing this, Hong Sheng looked at him with a bit of helplessness and tried to refuse, as if he wasn’t scratching out of his skin from the anxiety of being in such a large, open, unguarded space.

So Lu Hao had to insist. He brought Hong Sheng around the villa, asking Hong Sheng to detail what modifications he’d make, what sort of redecorating he’d prefer. And after enough probing, Hong Sheng finally started to mutter out all the changes Lu Hao had already been planning to make to the villa: adding shutters to the windows, including barricades, blocking off exits and entryways… Things that would return the villa to how it had been nearly a decade later.

Hong Sheng’s keen memory of each of the villa’s changes fascinated Lu Hao. It was like he’d saved a blueprint of the villa into his brain and could point out exactly how to modify it according to the plan. Just how smart was he to remember all this?

He even suggested some improvements to increase the base’s security even more. Not wanting to waste any time, Lu Hao promised, “Alright, we’ll get this done,” and set out to hire a construction crew to reshape the villa to their needs.

They wouldn’t be able to live in the villa while construction went on. Lu Hao looked up places he could rent for a few months, and even vacation areas; it would be nice to head out and enjoy the world with Hong Sheng while they still could. In the end, he narrowed down three places for them to stay temporarily, and took Hong Sheng to go check them out.

Each of the rentals were well-maintained, secure, and located in quieter neighborhoods. Although Hong Sheng stood behind Lu Hao as they visited each one, Hong Sheng didn’t seem to have much of a preference. He stayed expressionless throughout the realtors’ showcases, not reacting a bit even as one realtor demonstrated the water jets in the suite’s hot tub.

In the end, Lu Hao decided a simpler, cozier place would be better. With all of their real estate visits finished, Lu Hao brought Hong Sheng to a restaurant so they could eat and discuss which of the places they should take.

The hotpot restaurant they went to had separate rooms for each party of guests, letting people eat and talk with their friends without having to worry about the noise. In their case, the extra privacy and isolation doubled as a way to keep them from feeling exposed. The restaurant had an older look to it, with dark wood furnishings and aged decorations, but the food and flavors were among the best in the city.

The bubbling split hot pot had a vibrant red, chilli pepper-filled soup on one side and a creamy white bone broth on the other. Succulent shrimp, marbled slices of thin beef, juicy ground fish and beef balls, and bouncy fried tofu all boiled in the pot, fished out when steaming hot and ready to eat.

The two of them tacitly kept the hot pot stocked, giving each other their favorites when the food was cooked. It was a comfortable, intimate meal. As they shared their food, it reminded Lu Hao of when they were kids. Hong Sheng had never eaten hot pot before, and when Lu Hao had taken him to a restaurant with his other friends, Hong Sheng had been so paralyzed with nervousness that he hadn’t made a single move to take any food for himself.

Lu Hao had ended up sending the cooked food to Hong Sheng’s bowl, making sure he had plenty to eat. After that, Lu Hao and Hong Sheng had gone to hotpot just by themselves so that Lu Hao could show Hong Sheng how the hotpot worked, what he could order, and how long it took for some things to cook. Once Hong Sheng got the hang of it, he would stare in deep concentration at the pot, seeming to keep track of how long each item had been cooking so that he could scoop it out as soon as it was done and give it to Lu Hao.

Thinking of this now made Lu Hao chuckle, especially as Hong Sheng put another cooked shrimp into Lu Hao’s bowl.

“So you’re liking the one with the garden? I liked it too. I can sign the contract, and we can move there next week. The estimate the construction company gave me was that everything’d be finished before June.”

Hong Sheng nodded in agreement, making Lu Hao smile.

“I’m also thinking of doing some traveling around the country. Seeing the sights, tasting some regional dishes. Would you come with me?”

At this, Hong Sheng hesitated, before slowly nodding his head. Lu Hao doubted Hong Sheng had actually ever gone traveling or been on vacation before, which, considering they were going to be thirty in a few years, was somewhat tragic.

“Alright. Let’s talk about where to go later. Come on, eat some more.”

With their stomachs full to burst, Lu Hao and Hong Sheng walked out the restaurant. As they did, a laughing group of teens passed them, only for one of the boys to glance over and stop.

“Lu Hao?”

Did they know each other? Lu Hao took a look at the group of teenage boys, slightly confused, only to realize that they did seem a little familiar. If he wasn’t wrong, these were… childhood friends and classmates he’d hung out with back in school.

Meeting people from the past was awkward. It highlighted how much you’d changed from the last time you met. Not showing a trace of what he really felt inside, Lu Hao gave a calm smile and nodded to them. He’d intended to just bring Hong Sheng away, but the boys blocked their path. “Hey, man, we haven’t seen you in forever. What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing much. I’ve just been busy,” Lu Hao said. “We shouldn’t get in the way here. Let’s talk outside.” He motioned his head to indicate they should step out, and on instinct, the boys followed his orders. The group stood at the side of the restaurant entrance, which was thankfully set a bit away from the bustling street so they weren’t getting jostled by the people passing by.

Hong Sheng was silent behind him. Lu Hao glanced back to check and saw that Hong Sheng seemed unfazed. He didn’t react at all to these former acquaintances, as if they were complete strangers. He wondered briefly if Hong Sheng had actually forgotten them, or if they were just so unimportant to him despite their shared childhood that he treated them like rocks on the side of the road.

Either way, since Hong Sheng wasn’t uncomfortable, Lu Hao humored them with his time. “Been a while. Xie, bro, is your grandfather doing better?” Dim memories of the past slid into place, and Lu Hao carried them through some small talk. He and the group chatted, a bit of catch-up, a bit of joking around.

It made Lu Hao feel old. He couldn’t relate to these guys at all anymore. Maybe they caught on to that, as a few of them quieted down. There was one guy, in the back, that hadn’t joined the conversation; he’d spent most of the time mumbling when addressed, and glaring at Lu Hao. If Lu Hao remembered right, this guy’d had a crush on Xia Weiwei, Lu Hao’s ex-girlfriend. Teen romance drama. He didn’t want any part of that, so he just smiled and turned away, ignoring him.

But once the conversation died down, slightly awkward as the boys realized something was off with Lu Hao, that guy found his chance. Lu Hao had just started to make his excuses to get away, when the guy snidely cut in, “Oh, so you don’t wanna hang out with us anymore, huh? Just five minutes, and you’re ready to leave?” The other guys turned, one of them trying to stop him but he kept going and spat, “Lu Hao, when’d you start being such a stick in the mud? It’s like you don’t know how to have a good chat anymore. What, you spending too much time with that mute over there? Did you forget how to be normal after hanging out with him too long?”

Silence.

Lu Hao kept a smile on his face. His eyes were locked on the guy who spoke. When the others looked at Lu Hao, they found that there was something strange to him. The curve of his lips, the way he stood, made him seem just as casual and friendly as he had been just before. But it was his eyes—there was nothing behind them, just a chilling emptiness. It made his entire demeanor ring false, some instinct telling people to run.

Lu Hao laughed, softly, with those cold, humorless eyes of his. “What are you even saying? Weird as fuck.” He then turned those eyes on the others. “Did you guys get what he’s trying to say?”

A chill ran down their spines. “N—no,” someone stuttered. The teens shook their heads, cowed by the uneasiness and the sense of pressure.

“I-I mean, if you’re busy, sometimes you just gotta head out early sometimes. It’s not, like, a big deal,” a guy added.

“Yeah, and, uh, Hong Sheng, right? Hey, man, it’s been a while. You seem like you’re doing good? Right?”

With his name mentioned, Hong Sheng glanced over. He still seemed like this entire thing had nothing to do with him. No one expected him to acknowledge what was going on—they’d all grown up with Lu Hao and Hong Sheng, knowing that the creepy kid from the neighborhood never spoke and only ever listened to Lu Hao.

But then Hong Sheng seemed to think something. He was standing behind Lu Hao, so he couldn’t see Lu Hao’s face. But he looked down at Lu Hao’s hand. That hand seemed to be casually hanging by his side, yet on closer examination, it hid a trace of tension, the fingers just so slightly curled like they could form a fist at any moment.

To everyone’s surprise, Hong Sheng spoke. “I’m fine,” he said, voice low, and slightly raspy. “The tables are filling up. In the restaurant.”

This statement broke the tension in the air. Half the teenage boys turned to the restaurant and saw that several groups of people were lining up at the entrance. “Oh, shit!” They moved quickly, trying to get in line before it was too late. “Hey—it was good seeing you guys! Let’s catch up later!”

“Yeah, let’s play a game sometime!”

The boys bustled over, and even the jealous guy with the wretched expression, who’d been shamed into silence, had been dragged over before he could get in another word.

“Let’s go,” Lu Hao said. He and Hong Sheng left. When they arrived at Lu Hao’s car, Lu Hao unlocked the doors and told Hong Sheng, “That guy was an idiot. Don’t believe anything he said. I want you to know, I don’t—“

Hong Sheng had started to get into the car, and when Lu Hao started speaking, he paused, only to continue to sit down. He looked up at Lu Hao, slight confusion creasing his brows, and clipped on his seatbelt. “Lu Hao, I… wasn’t listening.”

“Then that’s for the best.” Lu Hao’s mouth quirked, a bit of calm returning to him. He sat in the driver’s seat. His muscle memory kicked in, letting him start the car and drive off while his thoughts were still back on that last encounter.

Had his friends always been such assholes? Lu Hao wondered. No wonder Hong Sheng had never gotten along with them. He remembered disgruntled glances and snide remarks. A thousand little rejections telling Hong Sheng he wasn’t welcome. Why hadn’t he realized how even around Lu Hao’s friends, Hong Sheng was used to being stepped on and insulted?

It didn’t make any sense to him why people disliked Hong Sheng so much at first sight. Lu Hao thought about it as he drove, the landscape outside turning from city buildings to open roads.

Most people were mirrors. When meeting someone for the first time, if someone was friendly and seemed to like you, you would usually have a good impression of them and express friendliness in return. But Hong Sheng was always sullen, and self-contained—it was easy for people to think he disliked them, even hated them. After all, he likely wouldn’t acknowledge you, might not even look at you, even if you were the nicest person in the world.

It took persistent efforts to breach Hong Sheng’s shell. Most people would never reach this point. Hong Sheng rejected them first; why should they keep trying?

Meeting someone for the first time and putting yourself out there was scary. When Hong Sheng didn’t reciprocate their efforts, some people felt better better about themselves by insulting him. He’s a freak, he’s creepy, he doesn’t know how to be normal. I didn’t want to get to know him anyway…

It was an unhealthy feedback loop. Hong Sheng guarded himself out of habit, used to being treated horribly; and people treated Hong Sheng horribly because he wouldn’t acknowledge them. Things couldn’t go on like this. Hong Sheng deserved to have friends and people who thought the world of him; he deserved to look at another person and see the potential good in them, rather than just the harm they might bring.

This had to be fixed. From now on, Lu Hao had to encourage Hong Sheng to make connections. Things wouldn’t be like how they were in the past. Back then, Lu Hao should have tried harder to bring Hong Sheng together with his other friends. He had to let Hong Sheng show his good sides, let people see the beauty within him.

Hong Sheng wouldn’t do it himself. After all, Lu Hao was Hong Sheng’s only friend; he was the only one who knew Hong Sheng this well, knew how amazing he was, how…

And at this train of thought, Lu Hao screeched to a halt.

The car’s sudden brake made both of them lurch forward in their seats. The seatbelt tightened against Lu Hao’s chest with a tug. Beside him, Hong Sheng blinked at the empty road ahead, but didn’t question Lu Hao’s sudden appalling driving.

“Sorry,” Lu Hao said, catching himself. When he realized where they were—in the middle of the road—he pressed on the accelerator again. Behind them came the irate blare of a car horn. Someone overtook him from behind, the other car sliding ahead.

Resuming his steady driving, Lu Hao made sure to keep his expression calm, even pleasant, as the tumultuous emotions he felt inside ate away at him. The guilt, the unease, that had accompanied him since Hong Sheng’s death, swirled in his mind.

In his thinking just now, he’d gotten something wrong.

Part of Hong Sheng’s problems had been the horrible first impressions he’d left people, sure. But another part of the reason why he’d always been alone, had been Lu Hao himself.

He didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want to think of it. Part of him still felt that what he’d been doing was just right, that it was the best course of action, and that he should just keep doing it.

But he had to face the truth.

This was what Hong Sheng deserved, and if he wanted to make things better, Lu Hao had to own up to his own subconscious actions. He had to change his thinking and his behavior. Otherwise, history would repeat, leaving Hong Sheng just as isolated as before.