The Words I Long to Hear

---

Over time, the Bunny’s realspace body started to regain its former strength and dexterity. Committing to a program of focused physical therapy, the nameless woman slowly reacquired her mobility, though the weakness in her dominant hand and her need for a cane proved stubbornly persistent.

At the very least, her capacity for vocal language had returned to some degree, and she could once again indulge Lacey in the occasional duet. The little cow proved instrumental in her musical recovery, both through her entangled memories and also gentle persistence. Engaging in a delightful rediscovery of her preferences, the petite girl would sit for hours with her taller girlfriend, working through albums of artists that she remembered that her Bunny had enjoyed, or branching out into other stylings.

That groundwork was the foundation of her return to employment at CoverPro, though the company had undergone significant restructuring after the sudden disappearance of two of their headlining stars. With the backing of the powerful World Tree Holdings company, the nameless woman was free to entertain herself with playing at being an idol whenever she wanted, adopting a sort of guerrilla performance schedule. Taking over the little studio in the flat, she recorded new songs whenever they came to her, often featuring Lacey as a special guest vocalist; once her command of Gedbeh and the Velodian language extended beyond simple auto-translation, she delighted in composing “authentic” pieces of music that the Herald of Twilight could bring to foreign states while in attendance at Empress Bloodwolf’s court.

Becoming just as much a cultural pillar of Velody as a spiritual one, the nameless woman occupied herself with the development of space-bunny artistry, dabbling in visual media as she sought to recover all the skills that she had lost. A difficult journey, it nevertheless proved to be a fruitful one; Velody had already begun to be known for its craftworks, but the Herald of Twilight’s investment into printing and painting had caught on in the city, producing a number of talented artists, both NPCs and Velodian players alike.

While her life as the Pandemonium Dragon was defined by control and violence, her existence as one of the little family focused on personal enrichment. The discrepancy was not lost on her, of course, and as more realspace cities began to accept the World Tree Lifestyle AI and the economic system it offered, she expanded the scope of her development to include that world as well. Participating in creative expression was encouraged through daily, repeatable missions, and while they hardly ever produced a notable painter or talented singer, they did have an impact on overall mood outcomes, as evidenced by any of the dozen academic research papers that had started to circulate around the initiative.

Still, while the push to better herself and the world around her was steady, the nameless woman couldn’t change everything entirely overnight ⸻ though she certainly tried. As cases of “Shadow Sickness” began to worsen among the old guard, the corporatocratic system of rule slowly shifted to a strange new form of monarchy; hardly anyone recognized the aftermath of the Pandemonium Dragon’s talons for what it was, but understanding of the lifestyle AI advanced considerably as it spread throughout realspace, assisted by the RealDimension luxury branding.

Eventually, anyone who was anyone sported a gold-plated RealDimension bangle, announcing to the rest of the social elite that they were on the cutting edge of the future. For once, technofetishism had been a boon, allowing for the surprisingly-easy spread of the new status symbol; Herdsplitter had achieved a great deal with her research on “influencers,” which was perhaps the only meaningful way in which Bunny’s erased doubles ever had a positive impact on the world.

Not everyone was completely comfortable with the arrangement, however, and that included the little family. The responsibility of the Pandemonium Dragon was as vast as her reach, but her girlfriends had varying opinions on how that power should be exercised ⸻ and voiced those concerns at the most unexpected times.

 

---

 

Growling viciously through her bite muzzle, Varina bounced the rabbit in her lap, clawing at the bare back of her girlfriend. Straining against the leash that the Bunny gripped tightly in her good hand, the wolf snarled and snapped her teeth, working out her ardor on her lover’s body. Both aroused and frustrated by the degradative play, the wolf whined in irritation whenever the smaller girl forced their frenzied pace back down to a simmer, putting off the powerful woman’s release for as long as she dared.

Of course Varina was strong enough to simply force the issue, but she worried about harming the still-recovering rabbit ⸻ and the Bunny herself exploited that fact in pursuit of loving control.

“Fuck,” the wolf hissed as their fever-pitch pace slowed to a crawl once again, dragging out her erotic suffering.

“Sorry babe,” the platinum-haired woman smiled sweetly, rolling her hips in an agonizingly-slow rhythm. “You know my legs aren’t what they used to be.”

“Oh I’m sure,” she snarled, striking the rabbit’s ass with an irritated slap that drew out a pleasured moan of the same volume. “If anything, they’re thicker than they were.”

Incensed by the rough touch, the smaller girl pulled the leash downwards, encouraging both submission and combative retaliation. Seeking an equal reprisal, she ran her tongue along her teeth, savoring her next words ⸻

⸻ but whatever the Bunny might have said in response was lost in the sudden noise of the other woman’s work phone, exploding with the obnoxious ring of a priority call. For the sake of trying to convince Varina to leave her work at the office, the nameless woman had made a point of preventing the amazon from responding to work calls with her RealDimension gear, which made the little buzzing rectangle both preferable and also vehemently loathed in its function.

Vibrating loudly on the nightstand, the irritating gadget screamed for attention.

“Goddamnit,” Varina swore, trying to reach around her lover to get at the shrieking device. “Let me up sweetheart, it’s probably another emergency.”

“I’m tired of work emergencies,” the Bunny pouted, kissing along the other woman’s neck as she tried to engage her again in salacious play.

“So am I,” the amazon grumbled, “but I have a responsibility to my job.” Patting her ass again, though much softer this time, Varina tried to extricate herself from the rabbit and her leash, repeating her earlier admonition. “I’m serious, kitten. Let me up.”

Angered by the denial of her pleasure, the monster inside her railed against its rude awakening. Reaching out through the fathomless dark, the jaws of the Pandemonium Dragon descended on the annoying phone, silencing it instantly.

“I’m just as serious,” the nameless woman growled, draconic avarice flashing in her ruby-red eyes.

“You can’t keep undermining my position,” Varina complained, holding the smaller girl’s stern gaze with a glare of her own. “That’s my job, alright? It’s what I contribute to this family.”

As the influence of the Pandemonium Dragon slowly grew, the wolfish woman was still in charge of protecting the family and keeping the nascent wyrm hidden. Until the nameless woman had grabbed enough systems and caught the military power of the world in a stranglehold, they were all still vulnerable ⸻ but the entire point of Herdsplitter’s dragon was to liberate Varina from the shackles of her corporate obligation, leaving the amazon free to see to the needs of their favourite concubine. While the Bunny certainly appreciated her girlfriend’s dedication and work ethic, she hated how those virtues had slowly separated Varina from the pack.

As a favor to her polycule, the platinum-haired woman would need to correct that.

“This is what I need you to contribute,” the bunnygirl snapped, lifting her weight up on her knees and dropping it back down into the other woman’s lap. “I can run the rest of the world for you in the meantime.”

“You’re abusing your power,” the wolf accused as the rabbit yanked on her leash, returning the couple to zero-distance intimacy.

“And you’re shirking your responsibilities,” the Bunny jabbed back, unwilling to let the point go. “Is there anything more important than fucking your girlfriend?”

“Maybe whatever was on the other end of that line,” Varina whinged, glaring pointedly at her slightly-smaller domme.

“Wrong,” the nameless woman chided, shaking her head. “The only thing more important than fucking your girlfriend, is fucking your wife. It’s been months, babe ⸻ why the hell are you still here?”

“I ⸻” she started, before the rabbit abruptly cut her off with the sharp pain of a petulant bite.

“When you’re done knotting me,” the Bunny snarled authoritatively, “you’re going to pack a bag, and then you’re going to finally take Lacey on her honeymoon.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Varina snapped back. “I have plans to take a vacation with her, alright? Things are just tense at the office right now.”

Irritated and yet possessed of a deep appreciation for her petite pet, the dragon hardly needed a second thought before her scorching breath metaphorically tore through the World Tree Holdings downtown office, obliterating the CEO’s schedule.

“Not anymore,” the rabbit grinned wickedly. “Listen, just let me play ‘Empress of Realspace’ for two or three weeks, okay? That’s all I’m asking.” Wrapping her arms around the wolf’s shoulders, she pulled her girlfriend into a tight embrace. “I don’t care what you two go do, as long as you stay out of the office ⸻ and I would strongly suggest activities that end with a much-more rounded Lacey.”

“Do I have a choice in this?” the amazon sighed, already defeated; while her protective instinct certainly caused her to become absorbed in the demands of her day job, the reminder of her spouse easily overpowered that mistaken placement of her attention.

“Of course you do,” the bunnygirl purred. “You can pick one of the seven itineraries I’ve just dropped in your inbox.”

Resigning herself to her fate, Varina refused to settle for the rabbit’s meddling without first delivering her punishment. Crushing the smaller girl against her in a tight hug, the amazon altered their position, dropping the Bunny onto her back as she climbed on top of her.

“You’re going to regret pissing me off,” the wolf snarled, no longer willing to indulge her girlfriend in her torturous games.

“God I hope so,” she mewled, clinging to the other woman.

Pounding her frustrations into the smaller girl, Varina enthusiastically committed herself to the Bunny’s chastisement.

 

---

 

While the other Wolfes were off celebrating marital bliss ⸻ both on their vacation in realspace, as well as a parallel outing in UltraCraft ⸻ the task of managing the bunnygirl’s connection to humanity fell to the otherwise-engaged Empress Bloodwolf.

Ordering her aides and vassals that she was not to be disturbed, the overworked Empress had retired to a brief vacation of her own at the Den of Eternal Spring. A lush garden carved into the mountainside behind the Lycian palace, it served as the imperial harem, housing the empress’s concubines and their offspring. Warmed by cleverly-directed natural spring water (which had none of the sulfurous odor of realspace), the den was a vibrant and welcoming place, its dozens of soft arms open to receive the much-adored Empress.

Historically in realspace, harems often served as the innermost layer of government, and while that wasn’t not true in UltraCraft, it was less that political power was concentrated inside the Den of Eternal Spring and more that Herdsplitter took the charge of keeping her concubines content very seriously. Each had their own ideas for how to improve the lives of their respective peoples, and the pack-focused Empress was more than willing to hear them out during pillow-talk.

“So this is like, Lacey’s kingdom,” the nameless woman mused as she strolled through the impressive grounds, leaning on the arm of her lover. “Since she’s your favourite, and all.”

“Our favourite,” the wolf grinned, reminding the bunnygirl of how wonderfully-aligned their tastes were, both before and after their mirroring. “But yes, it wouldn’t be incorrect to describe it as such. My mate is rather skilled at its direction, though lately I’ve been wondering if I shouldn’t provide her with an administrative assistant.”

“So she can spend more time smashing?” the rabbit giggled, raising an eyebrow.

“Something like that,” Herdsplitter nodded, returning her impish smile. “Her particular … talents are valuable to more than just myself, after all.”

“I guess that’s one way of keeping everyone happy while you’re away,” the bunnygirl mused, understanding more or less how truly free-for-all the little cow was.

While the concubines and their little ones were pleased to see the returned Empress, they kept a respectful distance from the meandering couple. The rabbit found the deference to be rather strange until she looked at herself from a more objective perspective; it was unlikely that Empress Medeina would allow a guest into such a secluded and precious place unless they were incredibly important, and the Herald herself was embodied divinity ⸻ even if she felt that was more a quirk of her title than anything else. Naturally, the special treatment flattered her sensibilities, though she did her best not to let it go to her head. After all, she was there only by strange necessity; if she didn’t need interaction to stay “conscious,” she would’ve simply laid dormant while Lacey and Arvina were off on their romantic adventure.

Framing herself as imposing on the Empress certainly didn’t feel very good, but she wanted to stay realistic about her station ⸻ and what a complicated station it was!

Following her apotheosis, her priestesses were starting to move on without her as they accepted her daughter in a newly-created role, and the governing arms of Velody similarly had no use for her; the next Intercessor would see to matters of justice, the Warrens were more or less self-governing, and Silvermane and her court of Maidens would soon handle all the larger policy decisions. Despite her status as a goddess, she was functionally useless save for the chronicling task that Herdsplitter had suggested.

Certainly, she was trying to develop herself into a more diplomatic role, but Velody’s status as a vassal city-state to Orentar meant there was little intranational need for her services, since Empress Bloodwolf would consult with her daughter in the young wolf’s capacity as Lord Governor. As far as international politics went, Lacey was already important-enough as the Empress’s favourite concubine to serve as an imperial envoy, and her genuinely-overpowered skills made her an incredibly-impressive figure in that regard. Perhaps the only playing piece that Herdsplitter might still need was someone to do the actual talking and so appear to be the “real” imperial representative, leaving Lacey free to use her abilities without suspicion ⸻ but that was a role to be filled by Empress Bloodwolf’s wife, if she ever had one.

There was no need to have the bunnygirl around for any reason other than as a novelty, and if the Empress ever decided to marry then there would be nothing left for the nameless woman to do.

“Speaking of,” the bunnygirl started apprehensively, moving from her thoughts back to the conversation as though Herdsplitter could simply intuit her inner monologue, “do you have any thoughts on taking a wife?”

“A certain amount of them, yes,” the wolf chuckled, playing her cryptic games as always. “I’ve been considering a particular alliance lately, one that I imagine would be well-served by an imperial marriage.”

“Ah,” the bunnygirl quipped, her hopes crashing. “I see.”

In all fairness, it was her own fault for having the fantasy in the first place. Herdsplitter preferred concubines, after all, and among that varied group of thirty-or-so lovers she still only had the one mate. If she were ever to engage in matrimony, of course it would be for political gain ⸻ and there was no reason to insert herself into that daydream, either. The wolf had told her the truth in no uncertain terms, out on the endless expanse of ghostly sands: the nameless woman did not fit the role of concubine, and so she’d never be a mate, either. Herdsplitter had hinted at that back in her solarium: plans for the future were “impermanent,” as she had called them, and so her promise of being the wolf’s “future mate” was similarly ephemeral.

Well, she sighed to herself, at least I made it this far. I’ll just have to satisfy myself with being the occasional mistress ⸻ and whatever else we are to each other in realspace.

“Of course I would prefer if Lacey found the bride acceptable,” Herdsplitter continued, outlining her plans with a strange smirk on her face, hinting at an emotion that the bunnygirl couldn’t understand. “Those I call ‘my mate’ are, and will ever be, my foremost concern.”

“Lacey does have a discerning eye,” the rabbit answered noncommittally, struggling to bury her growing envy. “I don’t really get how, but she’s weirdly good at seeing through to other people’s character.”

“Which is one of her many indispensable qualities,” the wolf agreed, fondly recalling all of her mate’s charms.

Caught-up in her disappointed acceptance, the bunnygirl fell silent. Herdsplitter continued on for a little while until she realized that the rabbit had stopped engaging her; though a look of concern spread across her gorgeous features, the wolf didn’t try to force any more conversation.

It hurt to be surrounded on all sides by the most intimate members of Empress Bloodwolf’s pack, while simultaneously knowing that she wasn’t really a part of that group. She was a visitor here, not a resident ⸻ and certainly not one at the head of the harem like Lacey.

The wolf had told the rabbit that she needed a mate and not a tool, but that wasn’t exactly true, was it? She needed to protect Varina and Lacey in realspace, and so secure the happiness of her mate and her ancestor-sister. What she had needed was the Pandemonium Dragon.

As powerful as the bunny was, her draconic form was just a means to an end.

She wasn’t a tool: she was a beast trained for a purpose …

… and nothing more.

 

---

 

Perhaps sensing the bunnygirl’s falling mood, Herdsplitter invited the nameless woman to accompany her to World 6, where the two of them could exist as themselves and not the Empress or Herald.

With the success of the Pandemonium Invasion “test beta,” the expansion was being readied for deployment on other worlds (though with a much longer ramp-up). Increasing the frequency and complexity of dungeon respawns, the live team had decided to introduce a smaller incursion of “griefspawn” across the other worlds to get the playerbase used to the idea of the invasion, setting up stories that would then weave back into the larger Velodian narrative. While those storylines didn’t interest Herdsplitter or the nameless woman ⸻ on account of the fact that it wasn’t their home world, thus barring them from narrative access ⸻ the accompanying combat encounters proved to be just the sort of break the two needed.

After the acquisition of Kemono Hunt and the surprise appearance of Descending Wrath and Golden Lion on World 2, the dev team had decided to just roll with it and incorporate elements of that game into UltraCraft. While griefspawn were still more of a wave-based problem, variations on Kemono Hunt’s kaiju would appear as mini-bosses roughly once every few hours, with spawn rates adjusted up or down in accordance to local player interest and population density. Taking advantage of the new fights and the relative impermanence of their World 6 visit, Herdsplitter had engaged the rabbit in her favorite hobby.

Or what had been her favorite hobby, at least. After the significant damage to and restructuring of her mind, the platinum-haired beauty had found herself “starting over” in a manner of speaking. All her esoteric knowledge of the Kemono Hunt systems were pointless inside of UltraCraft, which left her to rely on her bunny-body and its muscle memory; while not completely useless against the monsters, she wasn’t going to be challenging her own Time Attack records anytime soon.

Still, her knowledge of the kaiju’s abilities and attack patterns gave her an edge over a totally new player, and the dev team had spiced them up enough to keep her on her toes. Working out her frustrations on Dread Empress and Continuous Spear, the rabbit slowly rebuilt her physical knowledge of how to slay the beasts, finding the experience to be incredibly refreshing; it was like being able to play her favorite game over from scratch, and the rush of tackling new challenges and overcoming their increasing threat levels steadily worked the negativity out of her thoughts.

Fighting alongside her girlfriend, the rabbit and wolf dove into the griefspawn mini-bosses with unburdened delight. Manipulating the spawn timers through her connection to the game systems, the two entertained themselves with as many fights as they wanted, developing and practicing new strategies as they learned to work alongside each other. Recreating their moment together in Kemono Hunt’s Versus mode, the pair pushed each other to surpass their limits, doing their utmost to look cool in front of girls; eyes alive with frenzied excitement, Herdsplitter clearly found it just as fulfilling as her smaller girlfriend.

Playing until the point of exhaustion, the lovers shared in a passion that neither of them really knew they had been missing.

 

---

 

There was no reason for Herdsplitter to carry her Bunny back in through the lobby after her physical therapy appointments, but she did it every single time anyway.

It was a sweet gesture, certainly, but being ferried from the car to the lift ⸻ and past the same receptionist glancing at her with heart eyes every time ⸻ was somewhat embarrassing, to say the least. On the one hand, she appreciated the romantic nature of it, and it wasn’t like she hated having a chance to ring her arms around her wolf’s neck while being treated like a rescued princess, but her reputation within the building had become prominent-enough that it was starting to spill out into the surrounding area.

Knowing the receptionist was gossiping about her was one thing, but having the nearby barista glance at her cane while inquiring about the whereabouts of her “lady-prince” was another.

Even once they were inside the elevator car proper, Herdsplitter still wouldn’t set her down. The rabbit knew that her carriage would continue well past the threshold of the flat, and that was something she’d just have to deal with.

Pressed tightly together in the lift, the platinum-haired woman let out a long sigh.

“What is it, Beloved?” Herdsplitter asked, a concerned note to her soothing tenor.

“Is this really okay?” she returned, opening with a question of her own. “I know that since Varina and Lacey have been on their honeymoon for a few weeks now, it’s not like there’s anyone else to take me to my appointments, but like … ⸻ aren’t I kind of wasting your time?”

“I fail to see how looking after you counts as a ‘waste’,” the wolf responded with just a hint of exasperation in her voice; reassuring the rabbit wasn’t exactly a daily task, but it cropped-up often enough.

“Yeah, but like, you have to drag me back and forth to therapy all the time,” she protested, finding fault with the needs of her realspace existence.

“I choose to, yes,” the taller woman answered, pointedly reframing the service as something other than a burden.

“Okay, sure,” she persisted, staying stubbornly combative, “but like, you have so many responsibilities and whatever, like, not just here but also in UltraCraft, too.”

“I do,” the wolf nodded in acknowledgement.

Empress Bloodwolf had a hundred demands weighing on her at any given moment in the day, and the smaller girl was overly aware of that fact. Existing as she did, always “touching” the other woman’s mirror, she was subconsciously observing dozens of micro-interactions happening around Herdsplitter every second in the digital world, and so she knew of every last obligation that ever pulled at the wolfborn’s surface-level thoughts.

Affairs of state were not something that waited during forays into World 6 or stayed idle during trips to the rabbit’s various healthcare concerns. Painfully cognizant of the burden of her own demands, she felt it was her responsibility to absolve Herdsplitter of the need to fulfill them. She could simply hire a caretaker and leave the Empress free to see to the needs of her people ⸻ and perhaps those of her soon-to-be wife, if the imperial marriage alliance was still progressing.

“So if you have all these important duties,” she said, continuing her attempt to dissuade Herdsplitter’s committed devotion, “then ⸻”

“And you are the most-important among them,” the amazon interrupted, silencing the rabbit’s miserable monologue before it could continue any further. “My future mate is my first priority.”

“There you go again with that line,” she huffed, somewhat annoyed that the other woman was still teasing her with the “future mate” nonsense.

Declining to humor the Bunny’s anxieties any further, Herdsplitter instead applied herself to working the door of their home after the lift ride came to an end. Carefully balancing her lover in her arms, she fiddled with the latch until it opened.

As the barrier between the car and the flat swung wide, the atmosphere of the room washed over the pair. Given the abandoned luggage in the entryway, it was obvious that the married couple had returned from their honeymoon, and the trail of clothing leading away suggested that it hadn’t quite ended yet, either. The walls of the flat resounded with the mix of Lacey’s mooing encouragement and Varina’s ferocious litany, the latter of which seemed to be entirely composed of variations on her desire and intention to “fuck a baby into” her wife.

Stunned for a brief moment, the pair simply looked on as they pondered whether to join in or to allow the newlyweds some privacy. Eventually, whatever passed for the wolf's tenuous sense of decorum won out.

“Well,” Herdsplitter began, a crooked smile spreading across her face, “shall we leave them to it?”

“I suppose we can find somewhere else to be for an hour,” the rabbit mused, turning slightly pink as she witnessed the couple’s … dedication to entering realspace parenthood. “⸻ ... or maybe the rest of the night.”

Reaching out from her position in Herdsplitter’s arms, the Bunny punched the button for the lobby.

 

---

 

Too late in the evening to find an unplanned activity, and yet too early to simply retire to bed, the couple decided to wander around the city instead. Still, as they walked, it became clear to the rabbit that their trajectory wasn’t entirely random; Herdsplitter had a destination in mind, and steadily guided the pair in that direction. Clutching their winter coats a little tighter, they took in the delightful chill of the crisp night air.

Passing through the large city park, the couple climbed the steadily-increasing elevation afforded by a switchback set of steps; cognizant of the rabbit’s slower pace, the amazon kept close to her side, offering a steadying arm. Traversing the meandering stairs, their uphill patience was eventually rewarded with a sprawling vista, looking out over the carefully-managed patch of greenery sequestered within the concrete jungle.

Composed of an artificial lake and deliberately-staggered trees, the manicured space certainly looked both more-inviting than the metropolitan surroundings and yet still strangely ominous. Perhaps it was the simple fact that without the moonlight or wealth of stars that had been visible in UltraCraft, the night simply looked emptier in realspace, as though devoid of some essential component. Pared away from the natural glow of the evening sky, the deathly-calm esplanade seemed so flat and dull.

Truly, the only resplendent quality that the falsified nature possessed was purely accidental and incidental, a consequence of the season. Blanketed in glittering white, the fresh snow left across the grounds dampened the screech of the city ⸻ visually, at least, pretending to an isolation that didn’t exist inside the crowded area. As far as the rabbit cared, it was close-enough to being “pretty” that she was willing to overlook its insincerity; if they wanted real splendor, they would need to drive for at least an hour, and that wasn’t really what she had hoped to be doing.

Taking her by the hand, Herdsplitter led her to the edge of the railing, looking down over the steep face of their perch. The wind whipped around them, driving flakes of ice, sparkling crystals catching in her hair.

She’d seen this view before ⸻ twice, in fact. While the first had been devoid of all hope and the second colored by a grim necessity, this third outing was more … ⸻ inevitable, perhaps, as though she’d always been fated to be drawn back to a reflection of that bitter moment.

Stripped of her naivety, the clarity of the chill winter breeze whispered her own thoughts back to her. The conventional narrative had always been that life possessed an infinite set of possibilities, endless choices extending along thousands of branching paths; that idyllic notion had been a sort of comfort when she was younger, allowing her to imagine that if she waited a little while longer, suffering just a few more scars, her life would eventually “begin” for real. At first, she thought that starting line was in her teenage years, and then her early twenties, and then some nebulous point after university ⸻ but it never actually came.

Her life had always been in motion, and the promise of infinity was a cute lie to get her through another day. There had never been that many paths for her to choose from ⸻ and sometimes, there was only one. From the limited possibilities she’d faced, she liked to think she’d selected the best of what was available; perhaps she had, if this was where she ended-up. The view wasn’t worth it, of course, but the company was. For once, she could stare out into that mirror and see the promise of something real glistering in front of her. Maybe it was luck, or destiny, or simply happenstance of her dogged continuance; whatever it was, that one perfect moment was worth everything else.

She had a purpose now, didn’t she? She was powerful, strong enough to protect the people she cared about ⸻ and she had people that were dear to her as well, which was something she’d never thought she would possess; the simple fact of that reward implied that she shouldn't try to grasp for anything more, no matter how badly she might want it.

It was fine that Varina had Lacey, and Herdsplitter her concubines. It was fine that the world moved on without her.

In return for her new bodies and blissful affection, there was no need for her to do anything except execute her charge as Empress of Realspace. Slumbering in the River Beneath the Sea, the Pandemonium Dragon was merely grateful that anyone waited to howl for her at all.

Draconic greed was fine and everything, but she needed to know her limit.

A firm hand slipped around her waist, drawing her out of her thoughts.

“Beloved,” Herdsplitter questioned softly, asking without asking.

“I’m just … ⸻ thinking, is all,” she smiled, waving away the other woman’s concern with a shake of her head.

“About what?”

“Whether or not I should’ve died,” she shrugged, her eyes unfocusing as she looked out across everything all at once.

Even fixing her with a worried grimace, Herdsplitter didn’t chastise her for having the thought. Perhaps that was what she liked most about her tall protector; regardless of what she believed or didn’t about the sanctity of life, the amazon had never judged her for her scars, even those that were self-inflicted ⸻ and Herdsplitter could tell which those were, couldn’t she? They had been visible when she’d held the rabbit’s mirror inside herself, perceiving the bits and pieces of her memories. That February evening was a view the nameless woman had always believed belonged to her alone, but perhaps it wasn’t so terrible to share it with someone else ⸻ or at least, someone that didn’t pity her for having climbed high enough to see it.

“And?” the wolf prompted, keeping the rabbit present even as she became severed from herself.

“And nothing,” she smiled brightly, delighting in the knowledge that she’d already died a second time, the River Beneath the Sea having ripped away all the failures and tragedies of her wretched existence.

Whatever life it was that she remembered, it wasn’t hers anymore, and so it didn’t matter if that other woman should or shouldn’t have taken that last step out into the void. The only thing she needed to concern herself with was her own life, the one spread out in front of her ⸻ the one that was just beginning.

Still, her melancholy was hard to shake.

“You’re keeping something from me,” Herdsplitter said softly, gently prying into the smaller woman’s sorrow.

“I am,” she admitted, lifting her face to the sky, letting the snow caress her face. “Self-centered thoughts, is all. Nothing anyone else needs to hear.”

Resting a second hand on her Beloved’s waist, Herdsplitter turned the rabbit to face her. “Even still,” she murmured, holding the woman’s gaze with her own, a queer sincerity smoldering in her eyes. “I would like to hear them.”

“For real?” she laughed, laying her hand on the other woman’s shoulder, steadying herself. “You’d entertain my greed?”

“Of course,” the wolf returned, matching her grin. “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date a dragon.”

“But you didn’t know that her gluttony would be even worse than Mordax’s,” she giggled, denying the value of her own feelings. “It’s simple selfishness: I’m already Empress of Realspace, and yet I still want more than that, even though I know I shouldn’t.” Sighing, she turned her gaze away, staring out over that wretchedly-pristine view. “Aren’t I right? Like, I’m not really necessary, am I? As a person, I mean. Varina has Lacey, Lacey has you, Estelle will have her Intercessor … ⸻ I’m the only one not moving forward.”

It was a ridiculous sentiment, of course, but it was how she felt. Neither of her bodies had importance; she was no one in realspace, and she was a simple figurehead in UltraCraft. Her use to the polycule was entirely within the background, and the Pandemonium Dragon was not invited to any audience.

“I suppose this is proof-enough that you’re still you,” Herdsplitter sighed, shaking her head. “No one else denies their own worth with such expert skill.”

“Was there ever any question?” she countered, amusement humming through her deeper timbre.

“Yes, sadly,” the wolf admitted, though it hurt her to do so. “Your incomplete reconstruction has haunted my private thoughts ever since I pulled you from the river.”

“That’s nothing to be upset about,” she insisted, absolving her girlfriend of her misplaced worry. “It’s good that I’m different. Even if that other woman was ever worth loving, she wouldn’t have been capable of returning it herself.”

Taking her gently by the cheek, Herdsplitter turned the bunnygirl’s eyes back to herself. “You are wrong,” she murmured, eyes blazing with conviction. “I loved that woman, and my love extends to what she has become, as well ⸻ I have long hoped to receive her affection in return.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the rabbit contended. “I’m not who I used to be, so there’s no point in stubbornly clinging to old promises.” Nuzzling her face against the other woman’s firm hand, she wondered why it felt so calmingly warm, even as the tears that started to stream down her cheeks felt so horribly cold. “It’s already been a year and a half since we met, y’know? You don’t need to waste your assurances on me ⸻ I know this isn’t going anywhere. Another few days and Lacey will be back to playing babysitter, and we won’t have to keep up this little game anymore.”

Out of everything she’d taken from the woman that had died in the River Beneath the Sea, this emotion was the most-frustrating and yet most-authentic: guilt.

The cost of her rebirth, the sadness her loss had brought about, the demands of her continued maintenance ⸻ all of it was energy wasted, siphoned from the women around her. They had better things to be doing, more-complete loves to engage in; she was accessory to the polycule, not a principal actor within it, and yet she craved more of their affection even as she burned their precious resources of time and attention.

She’d become someone else, and yet this wretchedness still lingered inside her; she knew she didn’t deserve a happily-ever-after.

“Is there nothing I can say to convince you of my sincerity?” Herdsplitter tried, thumbing at the smaller girl’s tears.

“Nothing at all,” she confessed, sculpting the mask of her face into some pleasant emotion, one that she thought her girlfriend might like. “I appreciate your sweet little lies, but I haven’t the taste for them anymore.”

Determination burned in the wolf’s eyes. “There are no lies in a wolfborn pack,” she insisted, echoing her words from a lifetime ago.

“No,” the rabbit agreed, “but artifice doesn’t have to be intentional, not so long as it soothes an ache, right? I get that you’re trying to make me feel better, but it’s counter-productive: I need to learn how to feel content and normal without your vague claims for the future.” Flashing a bright smile, she skillfully receded into her cheerful facade. “You can keep your words; I don’t need convincing.”

Grimacing, the amazon let a long sigh hiss between her teeth, a cloud of vapour pouring from her mouth like the smoke of a dragon’s breath.

“Then I will have to escalate to action,” Herdsplitter promised, staying resolute in her mission. “I had intended to save this gesture for a much-more fitting scene ⸻ but if it’s the only way you’ll accept my affection, then so be it.”

Releasing the Bunny, she reached into her coat pocket; for the briefest instant, the amazon’s eyes unfocused, the tell-tale sign that she was parsing some piece of digital information, her pupils flicking back and forth as she read a handful of lines. Her lips drawing into a tight line, she took the rabbit’s hand in her own, the nervous tension of her grip reminding her of someone trying a public speech for the first time.

“As proof of my desires and a symbol of my affection,” she began, withdrawing an item from her pocket, “I offer you this small token, though it contains less than a tenth of my feelings for you.”

Turning her palm flat, she held it out for the rabbit’s inspection; an unassuming, hinged box rested atop it, smaller than the size of her clenched fist.

“Is this some kind of present?” the nameless woman wondered, cocking her head to the side in that eccentric manner that brought to mind a confused puppy.

“Something like that,” the taller woman replied.

“I don’t understand,” she muttered, examining the surprise gift. “There’s no way you could’ve known.”

In fact, the rabbit herself didn’t quite know either, not anymore. The biographical data of the earliest parts of her life were long absent from her memory, and the paper trail of her existence had been similarly dead-ended. When she’d died as a teenager, her funeral had wiped away all traces of her background and the associated minutiae before the River had seen to the carbon copies in her mind.

“What couldn’t I have known?” the wolf prompted, studying her expression.

The corner of her mouth turned up into a crooked smile. “That today’s my birthday,” she answered simply, chuckling to herself.

It had been her private joke for over a decade; deciding to end everything on a nice, rounded number, her climb to that lonely February view had happened on the anniversary of her rude ejection into the world.

“You didn’t need to get me anything,” the rabbit continued, reaching for the lid of the little black box. “No one has for years.”

Carefully steadying it with one hand, she lifted open the latch with her thumb; the hinge swung back to reveal a field of black velvet, couching a simple platinum band.

“Did you get this off a list somewhere?” she laughed in disbelief, thinking she recognized why the amazon had been reading through that invisible text. “Like, what, ‘Ten Best Gifts for a Thirty-Something’s Birthday’ or whatever. If you’ve been that far into my head to figure out the date, then you should’ve known I’m not really a jewelry kind of girl, or at least not in realspace.”

Herdsplitter shook her head, her wild mane swaying slightly in the breeze. “I knew of no such occasion. I suspect my ignorance of this ritual is what confuses you, and I apologize for having to skip a couple steps.”

“What steps?” she asked, tilting her head to the other side, a perplexed look on her face.

“Some of them required negotiation with your father,” the wolf explained, working through her bizarre reasoning, “and of course that proved impossible. While I prefer not to pay a bride-price to such a loathsome man, I nevertheless would’ve done so if I could’ve found whatever wretched den he resides in.”

“Bride-price?” the rabbit echoed, ruby-red eyes widening in shock.

“A considerable sum,” Herdsplitter elaborated, as though it were the number that had caused her to stumble and not the concept itself. “I was prepared to pay any amount he deemed ‘fair,’ though I would have started with double the ransom your Intercessor once offered to me, thus ensuring that he would have no cause to argue.”

Reeling from the implications that seemed to run in all manner of strange directions, the Bunny glanced back and forth from the ring to her lover’s face, struggling to decide if any of it was real. It was so odd as to be almost grotesque, a comical assertion defined by absurd commentary and an equally-ludicrous adventure.

As far as marriage proposals went, Herdsplitter’s amateurish rendition kinda sucked, and that more than anything was what convinced her that it was genuine.

“Is this supposed to be some kind of political gesture?” the rabbit challenged, crunching the legal calculus in her head as she worked it all out. “As a symbol of an alliance between the Empress of Realspace and the Empress of UltraCraft.”

“If you need it to be,” Herdsplitter answered in an even tone, concealing the disappointment that lingered in her voice. “Though I confess that my own aspirations were slightly different.”

Slowly, all the pieces fell into place, revealing the authentic truth; even still, the platinum-haired woman railed against it, struggling to accept her weird birthday present.

“You’re supposed to kneel,” she mumbled, taking issue with the format as a proxy for her embarrassment.

“My mistake,” Herdsplitter replied sheepishly, glancing away as though mortified by her inadequate handling of the event. “I am not familiar with your world’s mating rituals, and my research was … somewhat unhelpful.”

Flustered by her perceived slight, the wolf bent down, setting one knee against the cold pavement. Holding her lover’s gaze, she stared deep into her ruby-red pools, taking one apprehensive breath before she tried again.

“My Beloved,” the wolf smiled, displaying her gorgeous canines, “will you humor my clumsy, selfish request, and deign to become my bride?”

Of course Herdsplitter wasn’t one for such self-derision, but the playful tone had been for the nameless woman’s sake, disarming the voice inside her that demanded she refuse the offer. After all, it wasn’t every day that one got to see an empress kneel, and the gravity of that gesture soothed her heart.

Laughing as she cried, the rabbit nodded enthusiastically. “Of course I will,” she babbled happily, her wolf’s fanged grin finally smothering the voice of the nothing inside her. “If you’re careless-enough to propose to a dragon, then the least I can do is reward your misdirected bravery.”

Rising to her feet, the amazon presented her Beloved with a reflection of their moment together all those many months ago. With the same deliberate care as she’d graced the Herald of Twilight with her collar, Herdsplitter slid the ring onto her lover’s hand, the weight of it forever reminding the rabbit of those who loved her.

Pitching forward, the nameless woman threw herself into the arms of her protector, burying her face in the synthetic ruff of her wolf’s jacket.