Chapter 11.

While DH1M struggled to understand the situation, there was a sudden unforeseen twist of fate. In his dumbfounded state, he didn’t have a chance to react to the stray cat that jumped out from the alleyway beside them. The mischievous blue cat bit the brick and snatched it clean out of his right hand.

When the flummoxed hero realized what happened, his head darted to the side toward the cat. The cat sported a cocky, ‘did you need this,’ expression on its face. The hero broke out into uncontrollable sweat.

He looked back to the Cerberus in front of him who’d returned to its previous towering stance filled with renewed vigor.

“Mudkipz, you idiot! Why’d you stop your attack! And how the hell did you let that cat take that away from you? Actually, why the hell is that mutt afraid of a tiny brick of all things! AHHH! I have so many questions and I’m so confused right now!”

Crunch.

“How can I possibly hit it when it looks so pitiful! Besides that, I don’t really get what’s going on either.” 

Nom. Nom. Nom.

“Mudkipz, I don’t understand what this is all about, but we’ve got to get that brick back at all costs. It’s got to be a key item related to this strange quest.”

“Nyaaaaaaaaaa.” The overconfident cat let out a long yawn like its act of thievery was child’s play.

“Here kitty, kitty. Your big brother hero really needs that brick back. Can you please return it to me?”

“Nya.” The cat rolled its eyes.

“GRRRRRRRRAAAWRRRRR RAWWWRRRR!”

The hero stiffly turned back to the Cerberus. One of its heads was directly in front of him and it let out another intimidating growl at point-blank range.

“GRRRRRRRRAAAWRRRRR RAWWWRRRR!”

The pressure from the wind was enough to send the hero blasting off far into the distance. His momentum only stopped when he crashed into a brick wall with his back. The wall collapsed and the hero’s health immediately dropped to critical levels. A single casual roar was all it took to nearly wipe out his entire health bar.

“Mudkipz! Are you okay?”

“I’m… somehow still alive.”

“Nyaaaaaa.”

The Cerberus seemingly lost interest in the hero when it heard the cat. Its three heads turned toward the cat who immediately ran away with the brick in its mouth. If it was simply running away, that was fine, the only problem I had was the direction the cat ran off to. It was headed directly for my place.

When I looked into the cat’s eyes, I realized it was looking directly into mine. Our eyes locked for a second and I suddenly realized what was going on. It was that bitch, her objective had been to get a weapon out of me the entire time.

Tsk. I’d been had. Not only that, she still wanted to cause trouble for me.

If the hero lost the enhanced brick I gave him, that was his own fault. That’s a result of his own carelessness and I have no intention to get it back for him. If that stupid demon lord wants the brick that badly, I can tolerate that too, but if she thinks I’ll sit here and do nothing when she’s leading that mutt of hers toward my place to flatten it, she’s got another thing coming.

I took out a cigar, lit it, then stuck it between my lips. This mangy mutt likes to blow hot air and spit in people’s faces, I see.

I sucked in a long trail of smoke and held it in. The instant the mutt crossed the invisible line I marked out my head, my killing intent skyrocketed and I exhaled the smoke out my mouth. A trail of smoke shot out the window faster than a speeding bullet toward the mutt.

“Oi. Mangy mutt. Scram or die. Choose now.”

The mutt skid to a stop as the line of smoke I spit out grazed the side of its head. It froze in place and started trembling. It slowly took a few steps back cowering away from my residence.

“Oh yeah, you touch the bar in the village and you’ll seriously die. I’m not very fond of puppy stew. You got that?”

As if it understood my words, it meekly lowered its trembling body and nodded its head meekly.

“It’s good that you understand, now get lost.”

The Cerberus turned around and darted off at full speed in the same direction the two heroes had retreated.

It’s not that it was chasing them, it just wanted to get as far away from me as possible. If I’d approached it myself, it would have tried to attack me even though it knew it was futile, but because I didn’t, its flight response triggered instead.

“Haaaaah. I really wish I had a fresh beer from the bar to watch this show.”

“Nyaaa. Still as scary as ever I see.” A blue cat with a brick dangling from its mouth said as it hopped up onto the windowsill from outside. It leisurely jumped from the windowsill to my legs then lazily laid down on my shins as it made itself at home. The obnoxious blue cat put on heirs as though I owed it money; it took ownership over my shins as its personal property white it silently stared directly into my eyes without a hint of shame.

“Tch. I forgot that you can shapeshift and change your appearance. Stupid silver cat, so your goal in coming to me with this request to find that stupid puppy of yours was to get a decent weapon?” I’ve always wondered where all my charm went, so the culprit was my damned weapons all along. To think, inanimate objects were actually superior to me when it came to seducing women.”

“Nyaaa. I’m not silver right now, I’m blue. Nyahaha. You’re not going to try and take this brick back are nya?”

“It’s just a little brick.”

“A completely broken brick enhanced by a glitched NPC.”

“What do I care if a brick of no importance is stolen?”

“Good. I’ll be keeping it in that case.”

“Using that stupid mutt of yours just to get a brick out of me...”

“Nyehehehe. How about I provide nya with a bit of compensation then?”

“Compensation?”

The cat seated on my shins gradually morphed into a blue-haired girl with cat ears and an enticing blue nightgown. With her body balanced on my legs, her face got closer as her body finished its transformation process. When her face was directly in front of mine, she stuck her tongue out and licked me once on the lips.

“Oi. Stupid silver cat, what the hell kind of unpleasant compensation was that supposed to be?”

“But I’m stupid blue cat right now, not silver.”

“Your color is irrelevant.”

“Nyaa? You’re dissatisfied with my compensation even when you’re the least charming man in the world?” She pulled her body back while staying carefully balanced on my leg as she locked her fingers together with a questioning look.

“Get off my leg.”

“Why? Are nya inconvenienced if I sit here?”

 “Would you like to die before you even meet the hero?”

“Nyahaha. I would certainly prefer to avoid the pitiful fate of dying to an uncharming guide like nya.”

She leaped off my foot and transformed again. This time she was the usual silver-haired girl I recognized. She jumped on top of my bed and curled up a bit with a visible grin on her face. Her eyes changed from blue to a dangerous deep glowing red and her clothes similarly changed to match her silver hair.

“What are you doing now, dumbass silver cat?”

“Leaving my scent all over nya bed and pillows so nya’ll have a hard time sleeping of course.” She nuzzled her cheek up against my pillow as I shot her a deathly glare.

“Just for the record, I have no interest in stupid cats.”

“Really?” She sat back up and her appearance slightly transformed again. Her cat ears disappeared, her silver hair came undone and hung down behind her, while the red glow in her eyes vanished. She looked like a normal human girl. Her clothes morphed from its silver and white appearance into a skimpy black camisole that revealed much more skin. She even struck a pose in an attempt to provoke me.

“Nyis this more twu myour wiking?” She said as she pinched the bottom of her top, and held it up between her lips. Her bare body was on full display as she proudly held her hands behind her head while lifting her hair a bit. 

“Can you stop trying to tick me off, dumbass cat? It’s disgusting, you furball.”

“Tsk. This is why you’ll forever be a virgin nya.”

She let go of the portion of her top pinched between her lips then fell on her side on top of the bed. She took out the brick she’d successfully stolen and started to fiddle with it while holding it up in the air.

“I really just don’t get it. How the hell do you enhance a brick to become like this? It’s just so brokenya. How am I supposed to take this out in a fight with a straight face and not be laughed at?”

“That’s a you problem.”

“Hey, if I have sex with nya, would nya be willing to exchange this for a more normal looking weapon that’s just as strong?”

“Hey, dumbass cat, did you come to visit because you’re in heat or something?”

“If I said I was, would nya do it?”

“No, I’d go and find that stupid puppy of yours and let it have its way with you. I’d then record it and send it to all the other Demon Lords and your bosses. They’d get a good laugh and probably even fire you since it would be the greatest disgrace.”

“You’re more evil than us demons, nya know that?”

“It comes with the charm stat.”