“Do we really have to go back there tomorrow?” DH asked once they got home and took off their armor. “I feel like half the time we’ve spent on Arkane has been in slums or here. We only spent one day in a nice part of Okoia!”

 

“I know.” TO said as their own armor dissolved from their form, “But we’re not here to enjoy ourselves.” It would, of course, be nice if they could just spend every day in pleasant parts of Arkane with DH, eating new foods, going to see shows, and just enjoying being around beautiful things with their mate. They couldn’t do that, though. They had a job to do, and if they spent all their time having fun with DH, then they would end up separated from them. “Hopefully, we’ll have a new chair for Lendulin tomorrow, and we can deliver it to her… I still think it’s odd that she doesn’t have one provided, and I want to bring it up to the Praetors-“ 

 

“Why though?” DH asked, “You know what the Praetors will say. And if you tell Ark-1, you know what they’ll say too.” 

 

TO nodded. They sat down heavily in the chair at their desk, resting their head in their hand. “I know.” They said, “The Praetors will make some reasoning about civilian responsibility, about how they have plenty of opportunities and just never take them… and Ark-1 will say that petty civilian concerns like that are below our notice.” 

 

“… Do you believe them?”

 

“Given that I think it’s petty civilian concerns that have led to the insurgency gaining their power I’d have to say I think that Ark-1’s view is very limited. “

 

“What? No. I don’t mean Ark-1, I mean Petra, Pearla, Lendulin…. You don’t feel like they’re just making excuses, do you?” They sat at their desk, “Every time they said something, told us about an issue they had, I just…” They sighed, “We know this is what civilians are like. They’re lazy, greedy, and make as many excuses to do as little as possible…” 

 

“Do you think they’re lying?”

 

DH was quiet for a long time before they finally spoke, “No…” They said, “When they were talking… it’s odd; individually I had a solution for every problem, but when they piled on, when they linked up…” They shook their head and turned to their screen, “Well, it’s all the civilians doing this anyway, right? The leaders of Arkane are still civilians themselves, and just as petty and short-sighted as any other.” 

 

“King Decon allows it.” TO said. They scared themself as they spoke, a hint of anger seeping out into their voice. It even took DH by surprise as their mate turned and looked at TO with their ears low. “Sorry.” TO said, “I guess I’ve been around Petra too much.” 

 

“King Decon allows it… but that’s accommodating the civilians, according to Ark-1, right? It’s a sacrifice for the good of the rest of the galaxy.”

 

“.. Do you think it’s like this on other planets?” TO asked. 

 

“.. I don’t know? Maybe. The insurgency has some influence everywhere.” 

 

TO frowned, their ears twitching as they considered. How many people on Arkane were happy and well cared for, and how many were like Pearla, Petra, and Lendulin? How many people were being sacrificed, and how many were benefiting from that?

 

“I need to look something up.” DH said, spinning around and pulling up their screens. 

 

“Don’t you want to take a shower first?” TO asked. The smell of the Outer Ring clung to them once again, and DH had complained on the way back about it. 

 

“Later.” They said, now fully distracted and invested in what they were looking up. TO went up behind them, wrapped their arms around DH’s shoulders, and kissed them on the back of the head before turning away and going to the shower themself. 

 

 They took their time, took a long, hot shower and even stole some of DH’s fancy soap. The soap that they had on the ship made them nostalgic, but the fragranced, soft soap made the whole shower smell like DH. When they finally came out, their skin was bright blue from the heat and scrubbing, and if any hint of the Outer Ring remained, it was now hidden by the scent of lavender. DH was still at the computer, so TO went over, skin still steaming from the shower and dressed in a thin housecoat, and draped their arms over DH’s shoulders to see what they were watching. 

 

It was the video of Petra’s arrest. The Crowd of screaming protesters suddenly turned and fled from something unknown. THe authorities, in their angular silver armor, came on screen and arrested people. They pinned Petra down, thrashing on the ground as the officer put their knee on her back. 

 

The difference between a protest and a riot is a matter of perspective. TO wasn’t sure what they were watching, but they knew officially it had to be a riot since they were watching Petra get arrested.

 

======

 

In their dream, the blood covering their hands smelled like the waterfront in the Outer Ring. They were at Pearla’s place, which was odd since they hadn’t seen Pearla’s place. It looked like Lendulin’s place, but somehow TO knew it was Pearla’s. DH’s body lay sprawled out on the table, their organs on display while TO carefully cut away the useable organs for storage. 

 

“I hope it’s enough to pay off their debt.” Lendulin said, sitting on the floor as they watched TO work. Even in the dream, the statement confused TO. Debt? What debt? They were synths, they didn't have debt.

“Synths don’t have debt.” Petra said, as though working her way in to correct the dream. She sat on DH’s legs as though she was keeping them pinned down. “They don’t even have themselves. Their life is their debt. They’re just returning borrowed property.” 

 

“We exist to serve King Decon.” TO said, “That’s all.” 

 

“So, you’re paying off your life?”

“Civilians.” DH said, their voice gurgling as blood bubbled up from their lungs, “Short sighted. They don’t get it. They don’t understand.”

 

TO held the scalpel to DH’s heart, the tip pointing downwards before they stopped. They frowned and looked at DH. 

“We live to serve, then we die. We owe our existence to King Decon… so she’s right, isn’t she? In the end, we’re working to repay the cost of our lives.” Even in the dream, it made sense. The balance of a synths cost and value figured into everything they did, and if they weren’t productive enough, if they didn’t make up for the cost of their creation, then they cut their losses and either corrected or reprocessed the synth in question. 

 

“We’re paying off our debt.” TO said. 

 

“I’m not.” 

 

TO looked up and saw GiDi in the corner, watching them. TO stopped what they were doing, wanting to tell GiDi to run, but wanting to hug them at the same time. If they caught GiDi, they’d have to bring them into custody. They had to tell GiDi to go away, so they’d be safe. 

 

DH’s heart turned into the crystal heart that TO had given them so long ago, back when they were on the ship. It shuddered, and then cracked. From the cracks spilled forth hundreds of bugs; Cocopods. The bugs were cooked, their shells splitting in places where the meat tried to escape the shell, but they were still alive. They swarmed over TO, their legs skittering all over them. They were suddenly no longer at Pearla’s place, and the table, DH, and GiDi all disappeared. TO was now in a dark void with those cocopods swarming all over them. They tried to get away, but something tangled up their limbs. They wanted to scream, but refused to open their mouth in fear that the bugs would crawl down their throat so their voice just strained against the muscles in their neck as they made this awful, pitched sound in the back of their throat. 

 

Then they woke up. They woke themself up with the noise they were making, jolting in bed and clutching DH, who nuzzled into their chest, safe under TO’s wings.

 

They hadn’t woken DH. It was just another nightmare. A much different nightmare than they were used to having, but a nightmare all the same.

 

They took several long breaths and tried to settle back in. DH normally wanted to be woken if TO had a bad dream like that and TO normally obliged. Still, they liked to give themself a little time to see if they could get back to sleep on their own. Sometimes they fell asleep quickly, but other times they needed DH to help soothe them.

Their chest felt itchy. They felt itchy all around, and they didn’t know why. They reached up to scratch their chest and felt something brush against their fingers. Their ears contorted with horror as their mind tried to fill in what they felt. They scrambled to sit up, throwing off the blankets and turning on the lights. DH woke, but was still half asleep and only muttered in confusion, whimpering and hiding their face with their wing as the light came on. 

 

TO looked down. Hundreds of tiny black larvae which covered TO and DH. They crawled around freely on their skin, itching them with their feet. The bugs were no longer than the very tip of TO’s pinky and they were very narrow, but there were just so many of them!

 

TO’s scream was unrestrained by tensed muscles this time, loud and piercing and feral. DH cried out in shock as they woke, looking around frantically. When they saw TO and saw the bugs, it took them a moment to understand in what they were seeing. They cried out, not the same terrified scream that TO gave, but a mixture of horror and disgust as they jumped out of bed. 

 

TO regained the use of their muscles, jumped out of bed and flailed about to get the bugs off of them. The insects seemed to stick to their skin with tiny little claws on the end of their legs, but oddly most of them already seemed dead. 

 

“Stop, stop.” DH said. They ran up to TO, and started helping them get the bugs off their back and wings and off the back of their head.

 

“What are they! Where did they-“ TO turned around, and saw that DH still had bugs on them. They had more all over their chest. Most of the ones that were still alive were crawling from a crack in the pendant that still hung around DH’s neck. 

 

TO suddenly knew exactly what these bugs were, where they came from, and why they were dying so quickly. They ran to the toilet, vomited, then stumbled to the shower and ran scalding hot water over their skin, washing off the rest of the bugs as they shook with shock, disgust, and fear. 

 

An egg capsule. They had given DH an egg capsule as a present, and DH had worn it around their neck since then. 

 

A mixture of manic laughter and sobbing escaped their mouth as they leaned against the side of the shower, trying hard not to let the dead bugs touch their feet as the water carried them down the drain. 

 

======

 

TO wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually DH came into the washroom and put something into the washer. Once they had that finished, DH leaned on the other side of the frosted shower door. 

 

“... are you ok?” they asked through the glass. 

 

“No.” TO said, their voice still strained either from the laughter, the crying or the scream, “They were all over us. They-” their voice caught in their throat. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know-”

“I shouldn’t have worn it to bed.” DH said, “Don’t worry about that. Can you come out?”

 

TO was pretty sure that all the bugs were off of them now, but they had stayed in the water to get the feel of their legs off of them. They turned off the water and stood still, paying close attention to anything they might feel.

TO was sure they had something in their ears. They opened the door and looked at DH in a panic, “I think they’re in my ears.” They said, their voice small, their ears down.

 

“Want me to check?”

TO nodded and let DH guide them to the examination table. TO looked over the surface carefully, their eyes darting about. 

 

“There’s none over here.” DH said, “They didn’t get out of the bed. I have all the sheets in the wash, and I checked the mattresses-”

“What if they’re in the mattress?!” TO said, “W-we’ll need new mattresses, we-”

“They can’t get into the mattress.” DH said, giving TO a smile as they took the med kit down, “I looked it up; all they can do at that age is crawl around and breathe. And the oxygen levels here killed them all.” They opened the kit and took out a long, narrow flashlight. Reaching out, DH pressed at the wall and turned on a screen which displayed the view of a camera hidden in the flashlight. They then put a hand over TO’s. “I lifted the mattresses up, got all the bugs off of them, swept up all the bugs, and got rid of them. I moved everything in the sleeping area, and there wasn't any bugs anywhere else save for the few that dropped off of you on the way to the shower.”

TO shuddered, their wings wrapping around their shoulders, “Just check my ears.” They pleaded.

DH nodded and gently guided the flashlight into TO’s ear. The way they sat, they couldn’t see the screen on the wall, which both a relief and a significant source of anxiety. They didn’t think they could handle it if they saw an actual bug in their ears, but not knowing for sure that there weren’t any bugs there made them shake, and made them feel like they wanted to throw up again. 

DH checked one ear, proclaimed it clean, then checked the other.

“All clean.” They said, “Minimal waxy buildup, and no bugs.”

TO gave a deep sigh of relief, then felt the tears building up again, as though the fear and anxiety had kept them at bay. “I'm sorry.” They whispered as they wiped away tears, “I’m just-”

“It’s ok.” DH said, lifting TO’s chin and pulling them into an embrace, wrapping their wings around them. TO leaned against DH’s, their hands resting on their shoulders, “I just.. I had a bad dream, and there were bugs all over me and-”

“Do you want to talk about the dream?” DH asked. TO shook their head. Their dream was stranger than normal this time, and they didn’t think they could talk about it or think about it while they were still trying to calm down. “Alright, but there were bugs in your dream.”

TO nodded, then gave a sharp laugh, “They came from your pendant in the dream too.” TO said, “I guess… I guess a part of my brain knew.” They sniffled, then pulled back as they wiped their eyes. “I can’t believe I brought that in without even checking what it was. I just bought a random bit of bug-byproduct into the ship-”

“Don’t worry about that.” DH said, taking TO firmly by the shoulders, “Doesn’t matter.”

“And now your pendant is broken.”

“I didn’t need that to know that you love me.” They said, but as they said it, their ears flickered down and they flushed deeply blue, “I… I’m so sorry. That was so cliche. Like it was from a badly written-”

TO laughed, “It was cute.” They said, “I liked it.”

DH smiled back, gave TO another quick squeeze, then pulled away. “I suppose we should get back to sleep though.” They said, “It’s still late… or rather, very early.”

“I can’t.” TO said. Maybe DH got rid of all the bugs. Maybe the mattress was fine, but right now they couldn’t sleep on it. They couldn’t even sleep in this room. Maybe in the light of day, when their mind wasn’t so rattled, they’d be able to look things over on their own and they’d be fine, but right now the idea of sleeping in the common area filled them with horror. “I can’t go back to sleep. I can't sleep here.”

“DH gave another smile, “I figured.” They said, “And I have a plan for that.”

======

 

At night, the civilians turned the security lights in the center of the island off. The fences were still on high voltage, and drones scoured the area with night-vision cameras to take down any trespassers, but they had decided a long time ago that at night, they should turn the security lights off to avoid light pollution. Because of this, when they went up into the weapons bay to set up a place to sleep, TO could actually see the stars. They were fainter than in space; of course, the light had to travel through the planet's atmosphere, so it made sense. Still, upon seeing the stars from the windows of the weapons bay, TO could almost imagine that they were back in space. They were back, travelling through space in that glorious, wonderful time before they got to the port, but after they had confessed to one another. Those days now seemed so perfect; they were alone in space, just enjoying one another’s time, exploring their feelings and each other.

Before Kei caught them. Before they landed on the planet and found out just how awful everything was, and how hard it would be to fix everything.

DH made a nest of extra pillows and blankets, positioning their makeshift bed so they could clearly see the stars outside. When everything was arranged, DH sat down and held out a hand to TO, their wings stretching out as well, as though inviting them into their embrace.

“Come on.” DH said softly, “Let’s get some sleep.”

TO smiled, and curled on their mate, letting DH’s wings wrap around them. They once more nuzzled into their chest, breathed in the smell of lavender, and listened to the hum of their heart as they watched the stars outside.

Just for the rest of the night, they’d pretend they were still in space. Just for now, they’d pretend like it was still a time where everything was ok. 

 

They could deal with everything else in the morning. 

 

It was only as they drifted off, their mind drifting lazily between thoughts, that they considered how odd it was that they had been in Pearla’s place in the dream, and how odd it was that not only was GiDi there, but for the first time when TO had a dream like that, GiDi wasn’t on the table and under their knife.