TO scrambled for the pieces of their helmet that lay under the layer of water at the bottom of the pod. They didn’t know what exactly they could do at this point since their suit had no power, but they had to do something! Lendulin said she put DH in a maintenance pod, and it was the maintenance pods that were being taken away. The panic, fueled by the thought of DH out in the water, drowning, was like a spark near gas and was ready to explode once more within them. 

Lendulin’s presence, her anger, and her questions had been a mere distraction.

They held the pieces up to their head and tried to frantically put them together. Clearly, when their suit was powered down, their own two hands weren’t enough.

“Help me!” They demanded of Lendulin, who was just watching.

“What?”

“I have to get out there. I have to find DH and-”

“You can’t!” She said, “You’ll die.”

“This suit can give me a few minutes of oxygen, even powered down-”

“It doesn’t seem very waterproof to me!” she snapped, “You just pulled it apart!”

“I just have to put it in underwater mode, and -” They stopped, cursed in synth speak, and threw a piece of helmet across the pod. It hit the other side with a loud bang that made Lendulin yelp in fright.

“The suit’s powered down!” TO hissed. They held up their wrist and started holding their fingertips to the bracelet part of the armor. Nothing happened; They did it again, but still nothing happened. It was pointless though. They’d know the second the suit powered up again. It’d connect to their chip, and their helmet would make some kind of noise.

“Even if it wasn’t, look how far away the pods are already!” She pointed out the window. “You’d only have a few minutes, right?”

“Five minutes, Give or take.” TO admitted. It would likely be less; they were still recovering from their oxygen deprivation earlier, and if they were particularly active, that would use up their meagre air supplies quickly.

“And when I got to you, you weren't doing that good.” She looked out, “I can’t use my sonar in here, but I’d say those pods are at least a five-minute swim for you-”

“Help me then!” TO said, “You can get there faster-”

“And that brings me to my next point.” She said as she gestured to the door, “These things aren’t meant to be opened once they close; not until they hit the surface. If I open this now, I don’t know that I’ll be able to close it later.” She frowned. “In fact, I don’t even know if I can open it-”

“Then try! We have to try.” They lunged for the door, but Lendulin jumped before them. 

“What I’m saying is that if you go out there, if you open this door right now, you will die.” She pushed them back. “You don’t even have your helmet on, and you said it’s powered down, regardless.”

“if I do nothing, DH will-”

“You’ll die if I open this.” She said, “And DH’ll never know what happened to you. At worst, they’ll get to see you drown.” She pushed them back gently, trying to get more space between them and the door, “There’s nothing you can do right now, TO.” 

“I can’t just get them taken away!” TO hissed. They looked towards the pods again, “What if it’s the insurgency!?”

“... I mean, it probably is.” Lendulin said.

The careless way she said that so easily, with none of the fear or concern that TO was learning to read on her face and in her body language, made TO want to scream. “How could you know?” They hissed, their fists clenching.

“Well..” She rubbed her arms. “They.. do things like this sometimes.”

“What, attack civilian domes?”

“From time to time, they try to free the indebted.” She admitted. “Though this is the first time I’ve heard of them trying it in Thalassa.”

“Free them?” TO’s ears pinned back, “They attacked a civilian underwater residence, caused untold damage, and put lives in danger-“ 

“Because you care so much about civilian lives, right?” Lendulin hissed, “The insurgency rescues the indebted, and takes them away. I don’t know where; maybe they smuggle them off the planet.” She said, “That’s what I heard, anyway.”

“We care about civilian lives just as much as anyone would!” TO said, “Maybe more than I should. I stopped to help a bunch of maintenance workers get out before the dome collapsed. If I hadn’t, then maybe I’d be with DH right now.” 

“… yeah.” Lendulin said, her tail wrapping around her, “Yeah. DH was…” she shook her head and looked away, “Sorry.” 

“DH was what?” TO demanded. 

“They were helping.” She said, “Some people got injured. They were helping, doing first aid, getting people to the pods.” She clutched at her arms. “Shit… they knew you were still around, didn’t they?” She looked to TO, who nodded. Lendulin looked away. “… They never mentioned you. They just helped. I remembered thinking it was good that you left early, so they weren’t worried about you. They were doing all that, and they must have been terrified for you.” 

“And that’s just another reason I have to get DH back! They don’t know if I’m ok, and if it’s the insurgency that’s taking them…” the thought of DH being imprisoned and tortured was more than they could handle at the moment, They lunged for the door again, willing to dive into the water with or without a suit, but Lendulin held them back.

“You’ll die.” She said, “Even if your suit was ready, you’d not be able to get them out of the pod without killing them and every other civilian inside!” 

“I can’t just let the insurgency take them!” They felt their wings puff up, their muscles tense. “They’ll hurt DH, and torture them until they do what they want.”

Lendulin frowned, her tail twitching. “No… No, I’m sure they won’t.” She said, “They wouldn’t do that.”

“Why wouldn’t they? You think nobody died in all this?” TO gestured to the pods all around them, “Do you think everyone got to a pod?! You said they were ‘saving’ the indebetted but if I hadn’t stopped and helped, it's the maintenance crews and indebetted that would have drowned once the dome broke!”

“Well… Ideally, they should have.” She said, “I couldn’t see everything that was happening, but I don’t think there were enough pods for the extra maintenance staff.” She frowned. “The insurgency wouldn’t have known that though! There should have been enough pods! There were enough for guests, but they didn’t bother to make sure there was enough for all the maintenance staff! There should have been enough!”

“There wasn’t.”

“And that’s not their fault! The insurgency wouldn’t just go around trying to kill people-”

“And I’ve seen them kill. Or at least, I’ve seen someone die because of them. A security guard in the prison break earlier in the week. They pulled him along, and they all ended up dying in the attempt to escape.”

She opened her mouth, looking very much like she wanted to argue what TO was saying, but then stopped and looked away. “Nevermind it.” She said. “But you can’t go out. You won’t help DH. You’ll just die.” She gave a sudden laugh. “You’re a synth. I should just let you.”

Despite everything, that hurt, and apparently when she looked back at TO, she could see that. She sighed and looked away quickly.

“... Sorry.” She said after the silence lingered in the air for too long. “It’s… I can’t see you as a synth. One moment you’re TO, and the next-“

“What were you going to say?”

“... I don’t want to get in trouble. I don’t want to be on any lists, or-”

“You’re not on any lists now.” TO said, “Why would I put you on one? For having an opinion?” 

“Probably.”

“Well… I don’t intend to.”

“... I know the insurgency isn’t all good.” She said, “I know that. I’m not naïve. I know people die, and I know they do bad things. I also know they’re doing that tohelp people who can’t help themselves. The government, King Decon, Synths, they all do worse. The only difference is that when they do it, it’s legal.”

“And because of that, you think it’s ok if the insurgency tortures DH?” TO hissed, their fists shaking.

“... I really don’t think they would.” She said, “I can’t see it. Torture isn’t really something they’re known for.”

“But I know that’s what they do!”

“How?”

They hesitated, wondering how much to tell her… how much could they tell her? Anything they said would put her in danger. 

She thought the insurgency was doing good; that they were helping. She didn’t understand how dangerous they were, or what they could do to DH. 

“The insurgents have learned our language.” TO said, “And they knew some information that they could only get from synths. They also had work done on certain objects which was obviously being done by a synth.” they glared out at the giant angular fish, which were taking away the last few pods. DH was likely in one of those being taken away. They were alive for now, and that was TO’s only consolation. Once their suit came back on, they could call DH, track them, and save them. “They’re torturing synths for information, and forcing them to do work for them.”

“... Or some synths defected.” She said, “And they’re just working for the insurgency.”

“They wouldn’t.” TO said, shaking their head, “No synth would work with the enemies of King Decon.”

“But why not?” She asked, “I mean, that makes more sense, right? Torturing them to get information is one thing, but… what kind of work are they doing?”

“I can’t tell you that.” TO said, “... Electrical work, let's say.”

“Alright, well, I mean… that’s easy enough to mess up, isn’t it? Why would they trust synths to do that kind of work if they were being tortured to do it? And I know little about language, but I’d think you need some actual communication and cooperation to really understand someone’s language, right?” She huffed, “Besides, I imagine if they caught a synth, and said that they didn’t have to worry about being lobotomized or killed for parts, then they’d be happy enough to do work for them. Shit-” She looked to TO, “If they said you and DH could stay together as lovers, wouldn’t you work with them?”

“Synths do not defect. Any synth that survived their training would never defect.”

“That you have to 'survive’ your training is horrifying, you know that, right?” She huffed, “What about those that don’t?”

“They get repurposed or corrected.” TO said, but even as they said that there was one synth that they knew didn’t get repurposed or corrected. GiDi hadn’t. GiDi had refused to serve King Decon. In their examination, GiDi threw down their weapon, and refused to fight TO. They said they weren’t tools.

GiDi was taken away before they could be reprocessed. Could GiDi possibly deign to work with the insurgency?

“You didn’t answer me, though.” She said, “What about you? If they said you and DH could be together, that you didn’t have to be separated, and don't have to be synths anymore-”

“It’s an honor to be a synth.” TO said, but the words felt recited, felt practiced. 

“And would you rather be a synth, or be DH’s mate?”

It occurred to TO that the only reason they had passed their training, the only reason they had been able to shoot DH, and try to fight GiDi was because they knew their exam was just a simulation. They also knew that they’d never be able to hurt DH. they said as much to DH. If King Decon told them to shoot their mate, TO knew that they never would.

They couldn't.

But would they join the insurgency? Would they? Could they? The insurgency would just torture them.

Unless they weren’t. Unless synths were working with the Insurgency.

With their mind swirling in a million different directions, they didn’t notice the last light of the angler fish outside fade off into the murky sea. They stayed lost in their thoughts until their chip suddenly beeped, and their helmet, still in pieces on the floor, lit up on the inside.

“I’m back up.” TO said. They grabbed the pieces of helmet and pressed at their wrist again. This time, the suit dissolved around them.

“That’s your suit!?” she asked, looking at the bracelet. “I thought it was like a proposal thing or something, since you and DH wear them!”

TO didn’t answer. They instead took out their communicator and immediately tried to contact DH.

There was no answer. They pulled up their tracking program instead. At worst, they could find DH that way. They could track them down and extract them from wherever the insurgency had them hidden. They’d find them, they’d tear through people and buildings to get to DH.

Again, there was nothing. They tried again. Nothing. Again, and still nothing.

“TO?” Lendulin inched forward. “Anything?”

Nothing. DH was gone. They could see DH in their mind's eye, smiling, laughing. Their ears twitching or flushing. They remembered the last moments they saw their mate in that beautiful gown, rushing away after their friend.

Their last moment. Their last view of their mate.

They gave a scream, unhinged and feral, and threw the communicator against the pod with such force that the screen broke. The sound echoed in the pod, coming back to TO’s own ears as something foreign, a sound that they couldn’t possibly have made. A sound that without words screamed of hurt and loss and anguish. 

They fell to their knees in the cold, salt water, put their hands to their face, and sobbed so violently that they thought they’d throw up.

DH was gone. Nothing mattered. Everything they had done, everything they had tried, was all pointless. All they ever wanted was to stay with them, even before they were mates.

They failed.

They felt tentative hands settle on their shoulders, and Lendulin’s tail rested against their side. They leaned into their friend, letting her hold them as they let their frustration, confusion, and the horrible, wrenching feeling of loss pour from them in hot tears.

They failed. They failed themself, and they failed DH.