Being a baby sucks. It sucks major ass. you can't control when you want to sleep, when you want to eat and most importantly when you want to poop. But I was finally past that age. I was 2 years old now and boy oh boy had I found out some real bonkers shit. What I had imagined originally to be rural japan actually turned out to be the world of Naruto. I figured it out after seeing a iwagakure ninja troop passing by during the historic neutrality treaty being signed in my town. What town you ask ? Why, it's Yugakure, the vilage hidden in hot springs, a veritable Switzerland of the Naruto world or at least it soon would be. I was born to the owner of a small inn in the now polity of Yugakure to a homely mother and a business wise father.

Life here was quite and idyllic. It was a spitting image of paradise on earth. Good food, hot springs and nice weather. One could truly call it the good life. Until it all changed on that fateful day. But that is a tale for another time. 

For now I had more pressing concerns namely the immortal fuckwad called Madara Uchiha and the army of Zetsus hell bent on reviving Kaguya, a world eating genocidal alien. Add to that the Akatsuki, Orochimaru and that emo twat sasuke and the titular idealist and master of the talk no jutsu, Naruto, I had my hands chock full of problems in the near future. I need to tread carefully as well or I'll be dragged into one of the villages' interrogation rooms and tortured to death. After all this is a world where war and demise are commonplace.

 And so, it's time to p-p-p-PLAN!

First, I need to increase my chakra reserves. I won't survive if I faint after firing of just one jutsu.

Secondly, I have to get my hands on a dojustu specialising in resisting the genjustu of the sharingan and rinnegan. I am no hero and while saving my parents is something I would like to do, my first priority is looking out for number one, that's me.

Thirdly, have a secret bunker with enough resources to outlast the infinite tsukuyomi underground. If I can't see it, I won't fall under it's thrall. Eventually Kaguya will just leave. I just gotta survive till then. Live to fight another day y'know.

Next, I need to be strong enough to go toe to toe with the heavy hitters of this world. Which means that I need to get a few techniques in my repertoire. Namely the five symbol seal, hundred yin seal, rasengan, kekkei genkai, eight gates and most of all one of the sage modes.

Then, I need to get allies into the fold. The more meat shields I have the better. Aside from that there's also the fact that I can't be everywhere at once. All in all, having allies would be the best for my survival. I also need to be secretive so having proxies and scapegoats will be most opportune.

And finally, I need to escape this place and become immortal, possible and as soon as possible.

Let's-a GO baby!!