Hello! I got some feedback (which I'm very thankful for), and one of the points was that I should work on the flow of my story( changing scenes). I tried to write something while keeping this in mind, but I realized that my writing style is pretty episodic and it's very hard to change it because I enjoy writing like this...
So, I wanted to explain some things, which hopefully improve your reading experience:
My writing is episodic, which means there can and will be a lot of scenic changes/minor (a few hours or minutes) time skips, so, treat every chapter like its own complete thing.
***, are symbols for time skips/ scenic changes/ maybe POV changes
-, pretty much the same thing
Also, because this chapter won't be from the POV of our MC, would you like me to write which character they are told from in future chapters?
Thank you for reading this long message and comments are very welcome!!
"I'm sorry."
"...I'm sorry, too."
Those words were still echoing inside his head.
He wasn't quite sure why he had apologized, either.
Kay exited the bus.
His hand touched the synthetic fabric of his right pant leg. He could feel the quivering of his muscles as they tried to support something that was about to collapse with all their might. He gently pressed on his trembling knee after climbing the steps rather poorly.
Arriving on the paved floor, one of the athletes was already waiting for him.
The athlete in front of him had a big grin on his face, probably glad to have finally arrived after some very odd days.
Kay followed him to the other athletes.
The number of athletes under him was exactly 29, but now 35 people were standing together.
Two organizers stood in front of the group, dressed in uniforms embroidered with the name of the stadium, an interpreter, in a gray suit next to them, translated alternately the questions of the athletes and answers of the organizers. The athletes were visibly excited.
Only when Kay joined this group, and the organizers greeted him with a salute, did they signal the group to follow them.
Kay took one last look at the bus, but then followed the staff.
"The ride was really fun this time."
"Yeah, the bus driver, Joachim, wasn't it? Was actually really good, except for his interesting maneuvers at the beginning, haha."
"Not only that, he must be a very big fan of our coach, as nervous and unsure as he was. I mean, he threw upon him."
The short, brown-haired, chubby bus driver, who was also a vegetarian. Big fan of the legendary coach, new to his job, a nervous wreck who winced at any kind of aggression, a crybaby, yet with such a sad and gut-wrenchingly lost, innocent gaze that no one could stay angry for long.
It was strange, this Joachim was obviously an adult, yet he made one feel like a shelterless child.
Kay thought back to the brown eyes that looked at him so differently.
"Can't we book him permanently as our driver?" asked Steffen.
Kay could hear the other athletes burst into excitement at this question.
They had all heard from Steffen how interested Joachim was in sports and that he, with Aaron, would then show Joachim a thing or two, when they got back.
It was rare for the athletes to meet someone equally interested in sports and the theory that went along with it and not intimidated by their professional status.
Every human liked to share their hobbies and interests.
"That would be really great, it would be best to ask Mr. Nowak right after the tour if he can call Joachim's employer!"
These words were followed by much agreement.
The corners of his mouth moved up a little when he heard this. He would have loved to fulfill this wish. Because even Kay had to admit, despite everything, he liked this clumsy bus driver.
"No way!"
The alcohol made Frank slur, with a simple sentence, he throttled any still ongoing conversation.
The dawning smile on Kay's face froze and his mouth twisted into a hard line.
"It was so incredibly boring! I could have fallen asleep from boredom! He didn't drink anything with me and I had to sit with you, party poopers!"
This made the silence even more extreme, everyone's mood was now absolutely ruined. No one wanted or knew how to answer him. They were all aware of their dependence on BlueBird.
Outwardly, they were the national team for men's track and field and gymnastics and were funded by the state as long as they were successful, but in reality, any money first went through the hands of BlueBird, their biggest sponsor, before it ended up with them. And that's only because BlueBird had already firmly rooted themselves in politics during the dark times of their country, after a brief fresh make-over, they were now "the good company" that helped the country rebuild and even promoted the pride of the country, sports.
"But he's done very well for the circumstances, besides, we're looking for a new bus driver right now anyway."
Aaron replied Frank.
Because he was the only one with a family that could withstand even BlueBird's wrath. That was the reason why Frank respected and liked him, but that was already it.
"You want him as a driver too? In that case, I'll tell my dad to fire him and have him banned from any more jobs. Wouldn't it be funny if he has to move to another country because he can't find a job here?"
Heartless and drunk with power.
Unspoken horror and guilt clouded the atmosphere. Yet no one could oppose his wishes, no one could prevent this cruelty. Not even Aaron.
Wouldn't it be funny?
Kay clenched his teeth, his hand clenched into a fist, his fingernails stabbing into his skin in a pitiful attempt to calm him, his right leg shaking like leaves in the wind.
In the meantime, the group had just reached the gates of the stadium. One of the organizers took out a walkie-talkie and spoke something into it. After a moment, a loud electric sound rang out. The other organizer opened the gate and invited them in.
Kay moved quickly, grabbing Frank and yanking him away from his two bodyguards. Pressing a knife to Frank's throat, he pulled the latter towards a car that was waiting not far away.
The bodyguards wanted to follow Kay, but the knife on their employer's neck stopped them.
All this happened very suddenly, the athletes and organizers were so shocked that they could not move a muscle.
Only Aaron and the interpreter were watching the whole thing in a relaxed manner.
Frank tried to break away, resisted, but the blade nicked the skin above his throat, a narrow trickle of blood flowed down his neck and soaked his collar red.
For the first time in his life, he felt fear, fear for his life, because it was also the first time he wasn't the one ruling over lives.
Clack!
The door of the black car was pulled open and he disappeared inside. With another Clack, it was locked again.
Knife free, Frank rattled the door, banged on the window, screamed, his fear-distorted face clearly visible to all present.
Quickly Kay also sat down in the driver's seat of the car, and started the engine, without losing even a second, he drove off.
One of the bodyguards ran to the organizers, shouting at them to immediately call the owner of BlueBird, but they could not understand the bodyguard.
Because the interpreter only laughed.
No matter how much they shook him, hit him, he said nothing.
It was his car.
He never wanted to come to this goddamn country. Never wanted to be an interpreter, but BlueBird took everything from him. Only because his wife had been one of the few who witnessed the true face of the company.
Now his wife was gone and their daughter with her.
All that past, yet Frank didn't recognize him.
It served them right.
He had nothing left to lose.
