Consultation 29.

“God, I’m back for round two, did you miss me?” 

“Absolutely not, now get to the point, you freak.”

“Sheesh it’s been a while and this is how you react when you see me? Oh well, I guess. Anyway, how do I make my husband give birth to millions of worms?” It was the weird chick who wanted to fuck insects, only this time, she came to me with a new theme, animals.

I yawned, I was already used to these sorts of degenerate requests. Another day, another dollar I suppose. “Worms? Don’t you think that’s a bit bland? Don’t you also feel like you’re betraying yourself by straying too far from the path of insects?”

“Eh? Bland? Betraying myself and straying off the path of insects? Those are the problems with my request?”

“Yeah, also, worms are pretty long, right? Wouldn’t it be better if you used something smaller, but still rather worm-like, but closer to your area of expertise? This way you can also pack way more of them in. Insects are your roots, you shouldn’t ever forget that. You’ll regret it later on if you lose your way and get sidetracked like this.” Plus, things like tapeworms are pretty common these days. Using worms really feels artistically unoriginal.

“Oh, that’s true, I didn’t really consider all of that when I made the request. If not worms, what would you suggest.”

“This is actually a lot easier to make work than worms. Maggots,” I said with an overly satisfied cocky expression on my face.

Her eyes sparkled in anticipation the instant I spat ‘maggots’ out.

“Brilliant! That’s it! That’s it! God, you’re amazing! You’re like the Leonardo DaVinci of the worm industry. A worm-like creature, but not a worm at all. They’re so small, their white little bodies, the way they wriggle about creepily. Everything, absolutely everything about them far surpasses what a simple worm can ever dream to accomplish.” Her fingers wriggled in the air as she mused over the thought of maggots.

“God, how do I get started! How do I make this happen? Please guide me.” She displayed utmost respect when seeking out my words of wisdom.

Satisfied with the reverence displayed in her eyes, I continued to enlighten her in a scholarly fashion. 

“Is your husband open sexually?”

“Yes.”

“Is he willing to try S&M?”

“We already do.”

“Oh, so he’s into getting pegged?”

“We haven’t gone that far before, but if I suggest it to him, he’ll probably be willing to give it a shot. He’s pretty open to anything.”

“That would be the key to success in this plan. The first thing you need to do is to capture pairs of male and female flies. You will then place small thin slices of raw meat in several isolated chambers with a few male and female flies. Once they do their thing, the female flies will lay their eggs on the raw pieces of meat. You can then extract those pieces of meat and collect the eggs. What’s perfect about the eggs is that they are even white, the ideal color for what you’ll use them for.”

“You will get a custom strap-on to fuck him up the ass or get him to blow you and shove that strap-on deep down his throat. Inside the custom made strap-on, it will have a compartment that can be filled with a substance used to imitate male ejaculation. You will use the maggot eggs for this substance. Finish in his ass or deep down his throat and you will be able to fill him up with countless maggot eggs. The great thing about these maggots is that they can actually grow and survive inside the stomach and intestines.”

“In this manner, they will be born and feast on his innards. They will devour his flesh from the inside out. He will eventually be shitting out endless streams of bloodied, shit-stained maggots, thus fulfilling your desire to make him birth millions of worm-like creatures.”

Her eyes were closed as she visualized and savored the scene she envisioned where her husband would explode with maggots out his ass. Her cheeks were flushed red with a face drowning in ecstasy from just the thought of it alone. I already knew it, needless to say, she was undoubtedly fucked in the head.

“God, it’s everything I could dream of and more. Just imagining those little critters flying out his ass makes me giddy like a school girl experiencing her first love all over again.”

I sure as hell don’t want to meet any school girls like you.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too much though? Your husband will seriously die from this.”

“Die? The vivid scene you’ve painted in my mind is practically god’s art. If my husband must die in the name of art, then so be it. It was his destiny.”

What a pitiful man. That he married this woman was his own undoing. He can only blame himself for being dumb enough to be blinded by that illusory thing known a beauty.

“I see. Anyway, you’ve got your answer so please fuck off now.”

“I’ll admit my defeat this time, God. But I will be back to challenge you again. Next time I won’t lose.”

Lose? What the hell were we competing over? I covered my face with the palm of my hand as she got up from her seat and exited the room.

She’ll be back to challenge me again? What the hell? Why? What for? Why are humans such a pain in the ass? Should I even call these chicks humans though? To be honest, they’re more like monsters.