Consultation 40.

“God, how do I fuck my mind when she doesn't have a body?”

I did my best and thought long and hard over her question. The conclusion I came to was, bitch are you on drugs?

“Have you considered killing yourself before?” I asked seriously.

“No, why would I do that? I want to fuck my mind, not kill myself.”

“Well, if you come close to death, you might be the lucky recipient of brain damage. In that sense you’ve fucked your mind, right?”

“But I want to stick my dick in my mind and fuck her senseless.”

“Dick… wait… what dick? Aren’t you a woman?”

“I am. Why? What of it?”

“Are you a futa?”

“No, I’m not. Yesterday I was walking along minding my own business and out of nowhere an erect penis fell from the sky and slapped me across the face. I tried asking around to see if someone had chopped their husband’s cock off to return it to the rightful owner but everyone said this dick didn’t belong to their husband. Since I couldn’t find the owner, I figured I’d keep it. If the owner can’t be found it falls under finders, keepers, right?”

When she took the cock in question out my face immediately paled.

“You really found that on the ground in the human world?”

“Yeah. Wait, you’re not eyeing my prized dick and thinking of stealing it, are you?” She wrapped her arms around the erect cock and squeezed it close to her body like she was really afraid I’d try to take it from her.

What the hell is going on? I thought Goddess Husbandos was going to return it. How in the hell  did a god’s severed cock end up in a mortal world?

I took out my phone and sent Goddess Husbandos a message. As for why I had her number… I discovered it’d appeared in my contact list after I’d been forced into that humiliating lap pillow when I’d fallen unconscious.

‘Hey, did you return that god’s cock?’

‘It’s your first text to me and this is the first thing you ask me? Couldn’t you have just asked something like how’s the weather if you wanted to text me?’

‘Bitch, I’m being serious here. My client has the cock you used on my last client for some reason.’

‘What? For real?’

‘Yes, so why the hell does she have it? Did you not return it?’

‘I tried to return it, but he was being a pain in the ass demanding compensation from me. He demanded a blowjob and in a fit of rage I told him to fuck off. I ended up punting his cock off, sending it blasting through the space time continuum into a rift that led to some random world.’

“...”

What do I even say?

I covered my with the palm of my hand and tried to figure out what to do now.

Wait a minute, this is a god’s cock, isn’t it?

A god’s cock can pierce the heavens, right? If it can do that, then can’t it penetrate a mind as well?

“Haaaaaaaah. Look, the cock you have in your hands belongs to a god I know.”

“What! No way! You’re just saying that because you want my dick.” Author note: XDⱭ==8

My lips twitched. I don’t want your dick you bitch.

“Look, I can tell you how to achieve your objective to fuck your mind, but you’ll need to return that cock to its owner when you’re done playing with it.”

“Oh, if it’s after then that’s fine.”

“Like I said before, that cock belongs to a god. As such it has the power to pierce the heavens. If it can pierce the heavens it’s no problem at all for it to penetrate your mind with it.”

“Oh? And how do I do that?”

“Place it upright on top of a flat surface then smash your forehead head into it. The tip of the cock will pierce directly through your head, but it won’t actually kill you. Though it will have the appearance of piercing your skull and plunging into your brain, it’s just phasing through your body. It will actually pierce your mind rather than your body.”

“That’s it? That’s all I have to do? You’re telling me it was that simple?”

“Yeah, it was that simple. It’s not like you’d normally go and try something like ramming a random suspicious dick that fell from the sky into your forehead, right? You weren’t even aware of the identity of the owner of that cock and you typically wouldn’t assume it’s a dick that belongs to a god, would you? Honestly, things only turned out to be simple because you coincidentally stumbled across this god’s cock. If you didn’t have a god’s dick with you, you wouldn’t be able to accomplish what you were asking.”

“I see, so the answer was in front of my eyes from the very beginning. Thank you God. I’m going to give it a shot and I’ll return this cock after I’m done with it.”

“Good.”

She placed the dick upright on top of my desk and pulled her head back.

“Oi, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Get lost.”

“What? Why? I’m just trying it out real quick. It will only take a second.”

“No, seriously, fuck off and leave first. You can go ram it into your skull and accumulate all the brain damage you want outside this room.”

“Come on, don’t be stingy, just a little. I won’t even take long. I’ll only put in the tip to test it a bit.”

“Get that dick off my desk. I only just finished cleaning up the last mess that was made in here. I’d rather not have to do that again.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t make a mess or anything. I’m just slipping it in then taking it out to sample it.”

She didn’t wait for me to stop her, she lowered her head down and let the upright cock on my desk enter her forehead.

My eyes had been raped yet again. I shut them tight and refused to watch another one of these goddamn degenerates close up in action.

“AhHhHhHhHhHhHhH~”

I peeked one eye open and her entire body was spasming uncontrollably with a single long moan. Her eyes rolled back to the inside of her head. Her tongue licking my desk and salivating from the mouth.

“ShooOooOoo GoOoOoOoOd-d-d-d-d.”

I calmly stood up, picked up my chair, and used one of the legs to pry her skewered forehead on the cock off of it.

She fell back limply onto her chair with her tongue hanging out. There was a yellow pungent smelling liquid all over the chair she was seated on.

Ugh. I knew this would happen. Damn it! Now I have to clean it up! 

I resignedly poked the upright dick off my desk with my chair’s leg and let it fall onto her lap. I opened the door up and walked around to the other side of my desk. I didn’t want to feel dirty by touching the chair she was on so I used my chair to push the back of hers to roll her out the room.

After that, for the second day in a row, I thoroughly sanitized my counseling room. Somehow I felt dirty just being in here now.